After my first post, I think it's appropriate now to detail how we and I got here.
L and I have been together for nearly 7 years. I was single for a couple of years before we met and happily so. Id started dating after getting over a traumatic relationshipb that went frm the depths of despair to the highest of highs. To meet someone like L was a godsend. In the intervening years I'd taken a good look at myself and what I enjoyed and liked. I've known for many years that I am what most would describe as kinky. But it was fleeting and not something I yearned for or desired 24/7. So when we met and having been previously burned by being open about my likes and dislikes, I got the metaphorical cabinet and put my kinks away.
And so it went for 4 years or so. In that time, we moved state, sold our homes and built a new home, a dream home, in a beautiful part of Australia. And yet neither of us was happy. Id completely gone off sex, losing interest and desire. L would constantly ask about it and was very unhappy. I knew that what was wrong was that my little box, where id put all my kinks was cracking and desperately needing opening.
The last time I did this I was eventually humiliated, so there was no way I w going to talk about my feelings. And so we went on, moving apart both physically and mentally. I knew I was going to lose this beautiful caring wonderful woman if I didn't talk, so after doing some research I pondered my issues on another forum. The overwhelming response was that I needed to talk. So, one Saturday, a few weeks ago I started a casual conversation in the bedroom about my mass of pubic hair! I don't know why, this seemed a good starting point! We talked, talked some more. I started to discuss how we could spice up our life a little, with regards to sex. L was all ears and after a while I started to open up. I explained how I like a little tie and tease, a little spanking and a domination. She said she was good with that and she liked it also. Now we were both competing who could be sub! I had to explain, that no, I REALLY liked it and actually didn't feel comfortable with being the top at all. This was a surprise to L as she had assumed that this was what I preferred.
I then moved on to tease and denial and how I read about and fantasised about me denied release. By this time we were both hot and went out for our usual saturday night meal (we live in a beautiful beach side village and the restaurants are lovely and we don't like cooking on a Saturday)! The meal was amazing, not the least because L was sitting opposite me and was talking quite dirty. When we went home, we had the most amazing sex and I felt a huge weight lifted off me. I was finally, after all these years, free.
Since then, we've been exploring and there's more to tell.
[cejay67] I am now me!
Re: [cejay67] I am now me!
Great! I look forward to hearing more about the redemption of your relationship.
0 x
Device(s) owned: CB6000S, numerous stainless steel Chinese knock-offs.
Last ejaculation: Recently
Last ejaculation: Recently
Re: [cejay67] I am now me!
We've been doing this now for over a month. I've spent the last weeks in my Cb6000s. I've not found sleep at night very possible, so I'm allowed out for sleep only. Yesterday I was out all day, but I'm now back in.
L has a key which she wears around her neck or wrist every day. Occasionally I get photo's of this sent to me. These drive me wild. It's amazing and I'm so blessed and lucky to have been able to release this side of me, finally, to someone who loves me.
Over the last few weeks, I've gradually opened up about my fantasies, my desires and where I'd like to be, my motivations, why I like this. L has been awesome, never being judgemental. In no particular order, she now knows that fantasies comprise permanent chastity, total orgasm control, cuckolding, bondage, discipline. I've found some things easier to write than to say, so we now also know that I'd love her to get a strap-on and take me like that. There are a few things left I'd want to discuss, just to be totally open and honest.
The strap-on could work very well. L's current method of getting off, something that reduces me to nothing more than a tool is to have me lie face down. She then grinds herself against my back and tail bone and has the most intense orgasms. She can repeat this many times, all the while my face is stuffed into a pillow why she gradually gets more and more worked up. Me, I get nothing and for reasons I cannot fathom, this makes me happy. I've always had anal play fantasies and have occasionally (when single) been able to explore. I had one GF who wa mildly into anal sex and she decided to use a butt plug on me once to return the favour. It wasn't done with love, so I wasn't really into it afterwards AND she was quite something mentally!
I know this lifestyle and kink that has extremes, from mild denial, to total denial, cuckoldry and FLR. I've always been what some people would classify as kinky and during my singledom days I'd explore this. My porn flavours have never been conventional and I've always been excited at the cuckold videos, humiliation etc...This isn't something I necessarily want to achieve in reality, but the talk makes me aroused. So there's something about my wiring that isn't typical and I'm just grateful that I've discovered a beautiful woman who is allowing me to explore this.
L has a key which she wears around her neck or wrist every day. Occasionally I get photo's of this sent to me. These drive me wild. It's amazing and I'm so blessed and lucky to have been able to release this side of me, finally, to someone who loves me.
Over the last few weeks, I've gradually opened up about my fantasies, my desires and where I'd like to be, my motivations, why I like this. L has been awesome, never being judgemental. In no particular order, she now knows that fantasies comprise permanent chastity, total orgasm control, cuckolding, bondage, discipline. I've found some things easier to write than to say, so we now also know that I'd love her to get a strap-on and take me like that. There are a few things left I'd want to discuss, just to be totally open and honest.
The strap-on could work very well. L's current method of getting off, something that reduces me to nothing more than a tool is to have me lie face down. She then grinds herself against my back and tail bone and has the most intense orgasms. She can repeat this many times, all the while my face is stuffed into a pillow why she gradually gets more and more worked up. Me, I get nothing and for reasons I cannot fathom, this makes me happy. I've always had anal play fantasies and have occasionally (when single) been able to explore. I had one GF who wa mildly into anal sex and she decided to use a butt plug on me once to return the favour. It wasn't done with love, so I wasn't really into it afterwards AND she was quite something mentally!
I know this lifestyle and kink that has extremes, from mild denial, to total denial, cuckoldry and FLR. I've always been what some people would classify as kinky and during my singledom days I'd explore this. My porn flavours have never been conventional and I've always been excited at the cuckold videos, humiliation etc...This isn't something I necessarily want to achieve in reality, but the talk makes me aroused. So there's something about my wiring that isn't typical and I'm just grateful that I've discovered a beautiful woman who is allowing me to explore this.
0 x
Re: [cejay67] I am now me!
This is just getting better.
I realise I have strong cuckold and submissive tendencies. I realise and understand that chastity does not imply being a cuckold and that a cuckold does not need to be chaste. But for me, the two are linked. This last week, I've written a series of emails in the form of a short story describing this relationship. It included themes from all my kinks and to my surprise did not result in rejection. It sounds dumb, but I found it easier to write my fantasies as a story rather than as a straight out admission. Although she knows that is what it is. Human psychology is a strange thing. At least mine is.
We've not had too much time for play, though I did receive a wonderful BJ and HJ that were stopped before I got carried away. This is proving to be fun!
Still locked. Nightime release with prompt daytime lockup. A 11 days so far. Not expecting anything this weekend.
I realise I have strong cuckold and submissive tendencies. I realise and understand that chastity does not imply being a cuckold and that a cuckold does not need to be chaste. But for me, the two are linked. This last week, I've written a series of emails in the form of a short story describing this relationship. It included themes from all my kinks and to my surprise did not result in rejection. It sounds dumb, but I found it easier to write my fantasies as a story rather than as a straight out admission. Although she knows that is what it is. Human psychology is a strange thing. At least mine is.
We've not had too much time for play, though I did receive a wonderful BJ and HJ that were stopped before I got carried away. This is proving to be fun!
Still locked. Nightime release with prompt daytime lockup. A 11 days so far. Not expecting anything this weekend.
0 x
Re: [cejay67] I am now me!
Sunday was an interesting day. I'd gone into more depth about the cuckolding fantasies, but it's clear that will not progress beyond fantasy. However, things took an interesting turn that afternoon. We went to our local pub for a spot of lunch and a drink (we live beach side and it's full tourist season, lovely place to be) and whilst chatting L noticed a man and said 'he's got a nice smile...and a dimple'. She then made a couple of other comments about him. I was intrigued!
We went home and later that afternoon I was summoned to the bedroom where I variously toyed, teased and played with. I was turned over and L came by grinding herself against me, several times. Then I was on my back and after pleading, was allowed inside. I was told not to cum and when it looked like I might, was told to get off....wow! So that was two weeks since the last time I was allowed to ejaculate.
L is off for 3 days having fun in the capital and I was locked on her departure. I was left with an envelope with the instructions on where to find the key in an emergency.
Loving this!
We went home and later that afternoon I was summoned to the bedroom where I variously toyed, teased and played with. I was turned over and L came by grinding herself against me, several times. Then I was on my back and after pleading, was allowed inside. I was told not to cum and when it looked like I might, was told to get off....wow! So that was two weeks since the last time I was allowed to ejaculate.
L is off for 3 days having fun in the capital and I was locked on her departure. I was left with an envelope with the instructions on where to find the key in an emergency.
Loving this!
0 x