[locknload] The courage to click the lock

[locknload]

Like many guys here, I have long had a craving for teasing in denial. Late in my 40s, I finally found the right girl to be open-minded enough to this fantasy to be willing to play along. About a month ago, at the end of her week long business trip, I got so horny that I spilled my guts in an email message to her, asking her to tease me and keep me from coming for days at a time. Taking this in stride, she agreed to play along. So I promptly ordered a CB 6000S, which arrived within a few days and was promptly locked on.

After about a week of trial and error with the fitting and cleaning, I felt I was ready to try working into longer and longer periods without release. So we decided to take me to five days. I am used to ejaculating at least three times a week, so this was a little longer than I'm used to, although admittedly short compared to many here. Well, four days into this initial period of chastity, I was so turned on that I asked her to hold me back 14 days. So far, she is only mildly dominant, but it's taking to this role quite readily. So when I asked to go longer, her immediate response was "done." What a thrill that sent through my penis!

The thrill has only grown as the days go by. About 10 days into this, seeing release pending within a few days, I had grown so horny that I emailed her and told her I wanted to go even longer, a whole month! She quickly replied, "I have it in writing!!!!" Have I misjudged how dominant she is?

The device came with two keys, and she promptly hid the one I gave her. I have kept the other one in order to continue adjusting the fit and do you take it off once a day for 30 minutes or so to shower and clean up. And there is certainly some element of not wanting to let go of the last little bit of control over my penis. Maybe I shouldn't even call it my penis. There are certainly times like today when I had to sit in a group meeting all day and really needed to be free of the discomfort of sitting on the device for hours, which pinches almost without relief when I sit for so long. My girl has been very understanding about my adjustment period, and has pushed me to relinquish the second key.

I actually now feel like I want the cage on as much as possible. I am now past 13 days of chastity, and I cannot believe how old the intensity of the need has continued to grow. And all my girl has to do is lightly rub my swollen balls or my exposed perineum to get me moaning within seconds, straining against the cage to be allowed in full erection. About twice a week she allows me to be out of the cage with her while she rubs herself on my hard cock. Earlier this week, she had me insert it in her while she masturbated herself to orgasm and then pushed me away before I could come. She then rubbed my swollen cock for about 30 minutes after she came, making me moan and grind against her hand, to no effect. She forbids me to stimulate myself at any time, and I abide by that, even when the cage is off to shower.

Thursday night, day 14, she will let me out to play with her again, but of course I will not be allowed to come. After my frustrated erection subsides enough, my cage will be locked back into place and I'll have another fitful night of sleep. Friday morning she will be leaving to visit some relatives and will not return until Sunday afternoon. At this point I have no reason to not relinquish the second key. I can think of many reasons why I would need to have access to this key while she's gone in case of emergency. The thought of not having any chance of having any access to the penis for 60 hours is thrillingly terrifying, and the penis is absolutely pressing against the inside of the cage just typing this message out. We talked about it some a couple nights ago, and she seemed to leave the decision up to me. I don't think I have the courage to have that second key disappear for so long. Should I take it easy and continue working into long-term chastity gradually? Do I ask her to hide the second key but provide a way that I could get to it in case of an emergency? Or do I tell her to just make it disappear altogether and rely on my ability to get hold of her by text for the duration should I really need the key? I can't decide. Help!

[locknload]

Yes, I feel the thrill of anticipation at the thought of not having easy access.

I have loved this so far. There is one growing problem I am encountering. The hygiene issues take work; sitting down to pee and wiping sucks; the pinches and pressure points are attention grabbers. But sleep deprivation may soon take a great toll. If I am teases before bedtime and locked back in, then all I can do is lay there lusting, with rising and falling pressure against the inside of the cage measuring the intensity of what my thoughts are focused in. But on other non-play nights I still must control my thoughts as I drift off. Otherwise a lustful thought will provoke a wakening swelling. Random nocturnal erections are no longer as consistently painful as they were at first. But I am getting little sleep night after night - I am consumed with lust.

[Mutt_VB]

I have to concur with mark. As long as you have the key and are letting yourself out it is not giving your the real effect. Take you key and a business card have her sign her name on the back of your card around the edge. Place your spare key in the center of your card. Then put packing tape over your key and ensure it covers the entire back of your card. She should be able to see her signed name and you have an emergency key.

Until you give up control to her you are still in control.

[locknload]

I gave up the second key tonight. My keyholder will be gone for 72 hours. This is terrifying! After my intense twice a week teasing session, I was locked right back in 45 minutes ago. She hid the second key and wrote a note describing where it is, sealing it in an envelope. There is no way I will be able to unlock without her finding out. The punishment would be resetting the clock to 31 more days. I am so horny now that I am trembling slightly! I do not foresee being able to sleep very well tonight. For these past 14 days of chastity, bedtime has been the hardest time. As I lay there trying to fall asleep, all sorts of fantasies and desires rise up into my half asleep mind, and will not let me fall completely asleep. This is exactly the kind of state I was in when I first wrote the email to my keyholder describing my fantasy of being denied orgasm for extensive periods of time. Another night about a week ago I could not sleep and instead got out the iPad and wrote an extensive email describing some of my more lurid sexual fantasies. I suspect some of these may come back to visit me. This is also the night I asked her to extend my chastity. From 14 to 31 days. I am now in my 15th day. Projected release date is March 17. The last time I came was Valentine's Day. How romantic!

[KeyheldHubby]

Welcome to the board locknload! It's always great to see a new person posting on The Journey forum.

I can't say that I am a "veteran" even though I wore a home-built for quite a while before Mrs. KHH and I ordered my current MM Jailbird.

I snickered when I read your posts because They were completely true for me as well. Being in chastity and giving up complete control to your significant other is a big step, and the emotional impact of that can really be overwhelming at first, at least it was for me.

Like you with your CB, I also encountered some "hygiene issues" with my home-built. That was one of the main drivers behind us making the decision to go with the more open cage of the JB. It's really nice to be able to easily wash completely and thoroughly, and to dry completely without any chance of being able to stimulate myself to orgasm. In fact, having the more open cage is almost worse in that regard. I can get the tip of my little finger through the bars of the cage - but not everywhere and only enough to clean thoroughly. It's probably worse than a "full enclosure" device because that little stimulation while I'm washing gets me so incredibly (and yet frustratingly) aroused. My wife told me the other day that this is one of the things she especially likes - me getting myself aroused while washing but not being able to do anything about it.

You mentioned in your most recent post that your KH will be gone for 72 hours and that

I am so horny now that I am trembling slightly! I do not foresee being able to sleep very well tonight. For these past 14 days of chastity, bedtime has been the hardest time. As I lay there trying to fall asleep, all sorts of fantasies and desires rise up into my half asleep mind, and will not let me fall completely asleep.

I hear you brother! Mrs. KHH has been away since last Saturday at her mother's house 1,400 miles from home, and won't be back until this Sunday. We'll have one night together and then I leave for a week-long overseas trip. She's been telling me in eMails and on the phone just how "mean" she's going to be on Sunday night. I simultaneously DREAD and CRAVE what's coming up.

Wish you all the best!

[locknload]

Keyheld, I know exactly what you mean about the dread and the (always a little stronger) craving for more. Why do I read these things as I'm laying down to sleep?

[locknload]

I survived the 72 hour period of no access to the key. Well actually, it ended up being about 69 hours, because my key holder got home earlier than expected. I have now been 17 days since my last release, and tonight my penis did not respond to being teased at all. That doesn't matter so much, except that my keyholder likes to play with a hard dick. She seemed to enjoy herself anyway, rolling over and falling asleep just as soon as she came. I got up and locked myself back into my trusty CD.

I am wondering if this was just an anomalous low day for me or if my body goes into shutdown after so long. I was really keyed up in the 10 to 14 day window. And I thought I was keyed up the last three days, but tonight has proven otherwise. I am committed to 31 days of chastity, ending on 3/17. As always, it is disappointing to not be able to generate wood. Does anybody else experience this kind of shut down after a certain period of time?

[RegularJoe]

It was probably just performance anxiety....you're on a new frontier of your sexual existence right now.

That being said, Beth had serious reservations about me wearing a cage; she was afraid it would 'condition' me to stop having erections. It's not supposed to work that way, everyone assured us.

My wife really likes wood too...she has me out of it at least every other night for a ride (stopping jus short of any relief for me)...so I don't know how my situation applies to yours.

I do know that if I did start having problems, I'd drop wearing a chastity device in a heartbeat....she's got a young fella that is at an age where he's pretty much non-stop wood....and impressive lasting ability. I'll be damned if I want him to have all the fun.

So, not to alarm you....but, if she really really likes a stiff dick....there are a whole bunch of uncaged ones out there.

[locknload]

This afternoon while working, I stepped out of the car and felt something wet squirt down my pants leg. Having urinated about 20 minutes before, at first I thought a last drop had just escaped. So when I have a few private minutes afterwards, I open my pants to confirm what I suspected: I was dripping precum. I have never been much of a leaker, so this is a total surprise to me. It appears that after 18 days without release, I start dripping during the middle of the day now. I have been told this could become more frequent, and I do not look forward to wearing underwear again to prevent the wet spot in the pants syndrome. In shock, I texted my keyholder immediately what had happened and told her I might need a milking. She ignored my plea. It has been 18 days since my last release, with a goal of 13 more to make 31. But that may get extended.

Over the last month I have been fiddling with the fitting on my CB6000S, with the goal of optimizing the fit so I could order an MM jailbird. During this time, I have been in email contact with the folks at MM, who have been extremely patient with my endless back-and-forth questions about size choices. If their after purchase service is as good as their prepurchase service, they must be an excellent company to work with. I have heard nothing but good about them, and this is bearing out in my experience. I really look forward to receiving my jailbird when I have finally settled on my sizing. They say that getting pretty close is good enough, but I do not want to have to send it back for resizing. This is a high – dollar purchase for me, and I want to do it right.

[RegularJoe]

Your lady is learning fast. I don't how many times I've begged Beth for a milking, only to have the request summarily and firmly dismissed.....which even further heightens my desperation.

It's amazing how you can think you're at your wits end with frustration, only to find you're just starting to scratch the surface.