[Captivated Caveman] A Journey into Chastity

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CaptivatedCaveman
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[Captivated Caveman] A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Where to begin?

I could start with last Saturday night, when my wife locked me into our new chastity device. But I would be leaving out some important details leading up to that moment. I could go way back to the beginning of our relationship and describe how we got to this point, but that seems more like a story for another time.

No, for this story I think I'll start some time last week. It's morning. I can't remember now which day it was. Suffice to say it was our one moment of quiet bliss in an otherwise hectic and stressful week.

On this particular morning, I woke up early. I reached over and cuddled with my wife. She stirred and hugged me back. Soon we were nuzzling and kissing. And soon after that our hands started wandering, fondling and caressing each other.

We both knew where this was going. We hardly ever have the opportunity for morning sex. I got out of bed and went to the door. No sound of movement from the kid's rooms. I quietly shut and locked our bedroom door and returned to bed, stripping as I went.

We pressed our now naked bodies against each other, savoring the intimacy of the moment. We resumed our kissing and touching. Soon my face was between her thighs, lapping at her pussy. Oftentimes in these moments I wonder how the rest of our lovemaking is going to play out. Will she let me go down on her all the way to orgasm? If she does, then she usually gives me my favorite afterward, a tease & denial handjob, usually with a ruined orgasm at the end.

But no, on this particular morning we both wanted the same thing. I wanted to be inside her and she wanted me there too. I lifted her legs up to my shoulders and slowly penetrated her. Our bodies moved together in a delightful rhythm. Most times during sex I have to work hard to avoid orgasm. I start doing mathematical progressions in my head, picking a number and doubling it repeatedly. 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512...

The difficulty of the progression increases roughly in accordance with my difficulty avoiding orgasm. But it takes away from the moment. I can either have the intense closeness I want to have with my wife and orgasm quickly, or I can close part of my mind off and allow my body to give her pleasure. That conflict is why I usually prefer to have us focus on pleasuring each other sequentially rather than simultaneously.

On this particular magical morning, none of that was necessary. We both knew we didn't have much time before the kids woke and my wife was approaching her climax quickly. I didn't have to hold back, I didn't have to pause in my movements to keep from coming. And I didn't have to do math in my head. As her orgasm approached I quickened my pace and we came together.

We probably all carry a list around in our heads of the few perfect moments we experience in our lives. This was one of mine. We basked in the afterglow for a few minutes and then the kids were up and it was back to our busy lives. With a quick lingering kiss my wife is off to work. The dog is fed and sent out to play in the yard. The kids have breakfast and get their lunches packed. I drop them off at their schools and get back to work on my novel.

I'd like to say that later the same day the new chastity device I ordered arrived on our doorstep, but at this point I'm not sure. I remember that it came earlier in the week than the new lingerie I purchased for my wife, even though I ordered those first. The lingerie I had been meaning to order for a while - I just waited until we knew how big a tax refund we were receiving this year. But the chastity device - I purchased that one in a spur of the moment decision.

I routinely web-surf the various chastity and cuckolding blogs, indulging in my fantasies that maybe, someday, WE could do those things. Anyway, on one blog a woman mentions ordering some sex toy and finding out later she could have gotten it much cheaper on amazon. Hmmm, I think. I wonder if amazon carries chastity devices? I'd been wanting to replace the CB-3000 we broke a year or two prior, but had balked at the prices. Money is tight these days. I'd been eyeing the CB-6000s, so I go to amazon and check.

And there it is! At almost half off too! That's good enough for me. I order it.

I should mention that in our prior experiments with chastity play, it was just that - play. A way to tease out my arousal, with the implicit assumption that after I'd been tormented enough, I'd get my orgasm. After all, it was only fair, wasn't it? I focus on her and make her come, then it's my turn. Fairness. Equality. That's what healthy relationships are built on, right?

The new device arrives. I take a few minutes to examine it before tucking it away in my nightstand. I've read enough at this point about chastity devices to know that I should take my time, make sure I've made any necessary adjustments before putting it on. Besides, I want to do this with my wife and there won't be time until the weekend.

I put the device out of my mind and focus on getting through the rest of the week. It's stressful. The kids are snipping at each other and there are lots of chores and activities to keep track of. I manage to remember most of them.

Finally it's Friday. We have a lovely dinner and get the kids to sleep. My wife and I are exhausted. We collapse into our bed. It's still relatively early. We just need to rest and reconnect. We start to talk. We talk about sex, about our plans for Saturday night, and about chastity. It's a conversation that begins a new chapter in our relationship...

I think I'll stop here for now. This post is already very long. Please let me know if this kind of detailed account is more than people want to read and would rather I just cut to the chase.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Back to Friday evening...

My wife and I are lying in bed, talking about our plans for Saturday night. She wants to know, what is our goal with this toy? What are we aiming for? She wants me to manage her expectations so we are on the same page. We have a little discussion on this topic. I don't remember the specifics - they aren't particularly relevant to the outcome. But what we are about to talk about is.

We start talking about our likes and dislikes from our last attempt at chastity play. My wife expresses some displeasure with the tit-for-tat feel to our lovemaking. That's when it hits me and I have my epiphany. She can see I'm going through something and waits until I can put words around it.

"It's not about me," I try to explain. "It's not about what I can get after I'm released from chastity. It's about getting joy from being focused on YOU."

I'm sitting here at my computer, trying to reconstruct this conversation, trying to get across how profound this realization was, and I think I'm failing utterly. What I'm trying to say is I realized it's not about what is going to happen to my cock after it's released from chastity. To make it work you have to find joy in the experience of chastity itself. While you're walking around wearing the chastity device, dotting on and devoted to your spouse - you're already at your goal. There isn't any further to go. Anything else that happens - her taking off the device and playing with her toy, that's all gravy. That's only if doing so makes her happy. Because that's what I'm supposed to be focused on.

It sounds so simple, writing it like that. In fact I'm sure I've read words to that effect many times before. I read them, I understood them intellectually, but I didn't FEEL it. Like enlightenment in zen, you either experience it or you don't.

I explain all this to my wife. Not in the same words I'm using here, but she got the idea. Then she saw the look on my face and asked me what was wrong. I told her I just realized what I'm walking into. This isn't a game anymore. I am really, for the first time, ready to surrender control of my sexuality to her. She could lock me in that thing and there'd be no coming out unless she said so. I wasn't going to bitch and moan like I'd done in the past.

As I told her this my cock grew rock hard. Not at the fantasy, but at the reality. I put her hand on it to show her. My body knew what it wanted. Even if I was scared, even if I craved release later - this is what I really needed.

I told her I love her. What's more, I trust her. More than anyone else in my life. I can trust her with this because I know she'll do what's best for me. I don't have to worry. I don't have to keep score. I'm safe with her. If she denies me, tortures and torments me, she'll do it with both of us knowing that I'll be happier that way than being free to orgasm as I please.

By this time it's getting late and we're both tired. My wife falls asleep quickly. I don't. I actually have a hard time falling asleep. I'm so buzzed by my shift in perspective that I can't relax. My erection continues to throb at the thought of what awaits me tomorrow night. Even though I know intellectually that I'm not going to be in chastity permanently, that I'll have orgasms in my future, a more primal part of my brain imagines that our bout of morning sex earlier in the week might have been my last orgasm. My cock tingles at the thought. Holy shit. Am I really that turned on by the thought of actually going through with this? One nice thing about a penis, it doesn't lie. It knows what it wants.

I lie there in bed, stewing in my juices. I finally drift off to sleep around three or four. I wake up the next morning still buzzed. You'd think I'd feel exhausted but not this time. I get the kids downstairs and let my wife sleep in. When she wakes I offer to make her breakfast. She looks at me funny. Usually on the weekends she cooks me breakfast. She knows that it means "I love you" to me when she does so. This time she indulges me and I cook. I'm a very good cook. She taught me.

She takes our kids shopping at the mall. Then I watch them while she goes off for a manicure and pedicure. The day moves slowly and I'm enjoying it. I know what's coming and I'm happy.

I'm grateful for those 24 hours between my epiphany and getting locked up. Normally when you do something intense or exciting, your body gets pumped full of adrenalin. You experience both the activity you're engaged in and your excitement about the activity. The two blend together, making it harder to actually process the experience clearly. In my case I experienced the excitement first, on its own, without the activity that prompted it. By the time Saturday night rolled around I felt focused. Centered. I knew what I was doing and was walking into it with my eyes open.

We made sure the kids got to bed early. While my wife finished putting them to sleep I pulled out my massage table and set it up in our bedroom. My wife comes in. I shut and lock the door. She undresses and lies down. Over the next hour I give her a full body massage, taking my time, no rushing.

By the time I'm done we no longer feel like parents. Now we are lovers. She pulls out one of the pieces of lingerie I ordered and slips into it. Caveman that I am, the sluttier the lingerie the better. I ordered a classy piece and a slutty one. She picks the slutty one. Something inside me sings with joy.

At her command I strip and we sit down together on the bed. We pull out the chastity device and figure out how to put it on. It's similar to the old one but has some differences. Within moments I feel it closing around my cock. I realize how much I've missed having it encased like this. She puts the lock on and looks me in the eye as it clicks shut. A small grin plays across her lips.

She lies back on the bed and I curl up beside her. We kiss. I run my lips along her jaw, down to her throat, planting more kisses as I go. I move from her side to squating on all fours over her so I can let my mouth travel her body freely. She uses her feet to find my trapped cock and begins batting at it playfully with her toes, like a cat with a toy.

Soon she has her toes in my mouth and I'm sucking on them. I end up on my back with her feet resting on my chest. She moves them around, sometimes into my mouth, other times pressing gently on my face or throat.

This isn't like other times she's topped me. "How did you suddenly get so good at this?" I ask her.

There is a shrug in her voice as she answers, "I don't feel like I'm acting out a role anymore. I'm just being me." She rests her feet back on my chest and wonders aloud what it would be like to use me as a footrest while she reads. In the past I would have complained. Boring. But not now. Now it actually sounds appealing. And she is not done surprising me this evening.

"Those other women, on-line," she says, "do any of them lock up their husbands and just throw away the key?"

Ulp! "Ummm...I'm sure it must happen but it's probably very rare."

"But the thought turned you on, didn't it?"

My cock is straining within its prison at this point. I nod, speechless. I'm almost certain she's just screwing with my head. She wouldn't really do that. Still, just the thought...

I sit up and she slides her big toe in my mouth, thrusting in and out slowly. It slips out with a "pop" and she laughs. It happens again and she asks if I'm doing it on purpose. I say no, it wasn't what I was thinking of. What was I thinking of, she asks. Hesitantly, I admit I was fantasizing that I was prepping a lover for her. Making him hard to thrust into her while I lay beside her, in my little prison.

"And that would make you happy?" she asks. "Yes," I say. She asks me why. But first she fucks my mouth with her toe a little more before letting me answer.

"Because then I could give you everything. A loving husband that adores you-" She cuts me off before I can continue.

"You adore me?" She actually sounds surprised.

"Yes," I say, wondering how she could have missed something so obvious.

"Say it. Say it again."

"I adore you."

She smiles and I resume my broken train of thought, "-and you'd have a lover who could pound into you the way you like. Without having to stop or slow down."

I move to kiss her. She lets me for a moment before putting a hand on top of my head and pushing me down between her legs. She is very wet. I slip two fingers inside her and thrust slowly as my tongue dances across her clit.

"Do you like the taste of my juices?"

I know she's teasing me. For the last few weeks of sex we'd been role-playing succubus and victim. She'd intoxicate her prey with her addictive, aphrodisiac body fluids and then drain his soul out with his seed. But not before making him beg for it.

She's reminding me of those games now. I take my fingers out of her and lick them clean in answer.

She decides to roll over onto her belly. She reaches over and pulls her magic wand out of her nightstand. I know what she wants. I position the vibrator between her pussy and the bed. Actually, on the towel we laid out in advance. I turn it on and she starts grinding her pussy into it as I kneel between her spread legs and watch her ass writhe back and forth.

"Lick my ass," she orders.

I kneel forward and slide my tongue between her buttocks, licking in ever tightening circles. I try to use my tongue like a cock, penetrating her ass slightly, enjoying her moans. Eventually my jaw tires so I sit up and use my fingers on her G-spot. When they get tired I resume licking her ass. She hits her climax and buries her face in the pillow.

I turn off the vibrator and sit back. She enjoys being still. Eventually she stirs and sits up, looks at me. This is normally the point at which I'd want attention. Not this time.

We clean up. I put away the massage table and get in bed. We kiss each other good night, tell each other how much we love the other and what a wonderful time we had. It feels different. Better. Lighter.

We turn off the lights and close our eyes. I'm asleep within minutes.

More next time.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Huh. Not one response.

Well, not much point baring my soul then. So instead here's the short version of what's happened since:

I wore the CB6000s from Saturday night to Monday night, 48 hours. During that time I had little to no discomfort, something I'm still amazed at. When I wore the CB3000 I was in agony within a few hours. My wife and I are enjoying the "horny high" we are both experiencing, aware that what we are feeling in the moment will need to be followed by hard work to make this growth in our relationship permanent. We are probably much more cautious in our optimism than comes across in my recounting of this past weekend's events.

My skin started to feel tender toward the end of the day yesterday. Not bad, but definitely that warning your body gives you that trouble will soon follow. My wife unlocked me to let the skin heal a bit overnight. I'm not experiencing any soreness at all today so I'm being locked back in tonight.

I have some questions as a result of this weekend's events. I'm going to be digging around the forums and other websites looking for answers, but since I am a busy parent I'll list them here in case anyone feels like helping:

1. Is it a mistake to use the "go slow" approach? Will my body face the same hurdle each time I wear the device? If so, am I better off just keeping it on, gutting my way through the discomfort until my body adjusts?

2. Will my body adjust? If so, how long does it take? Do people find that after they've gone, say, one week in chastity, it's clear sailing from then on or does the time-to-soreness just keep moving slowly back?

3. Assuming physical discomfort is not a problem, are there any other times that become challenging? Are there other specific psychological or physiological hurdles that one must clear along the way?

4. Assuming I'm locked up long term, are there any depilatory creams safe for genital hair removal? If so, is there any chance they'd react with the plastic CD? What about with stainless steel if I switch to metal?
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by sl.adam »

I did enjoy your first two posts but felt it would be odd for me to reply since I am a newbie at this forum. Thanks for sharing!
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by Tom Allen »

CaptivatedCaveman wrote:Huh. Not one response.

1. Is it a mistake to use the "go slow" approach? Will my body face the same hurdle each time I wear the device? If so, am I better off just keeping it on, gutting my way through the discomfort until my body adjusts?

2. Will my body adjust? If so, how long does it take? Do people find that after they've gone, say, one week in chastity, it's clear sailing from then on or does the time-to-soreness just keep moving slowly back?

3. Assuming physical discomfort is not a problem, are there any other times that become challenging? Are there other specific psychological or physiological hurdles that one must clear along the way?

4. Assuming I'm locked up long term, are there any depilatory creams safe for genital hair removal? If so, is there any chance they'd react with the plastic CD? What about with stainless steel if I switch to metal?
Cap'n, I know it looks like we have several thousand members, but 90% of them are spammers. You wrote quite a bit, so I think that most people need some time to find it and digest what you eloquently scribed.

That said, let me get to some of these new questions:
1 & 2 - Personally, I think it's important to give your body time to adapt. Your skin needs to stretch in certain places, your sleep cycles will gradually change, and you need to learn to approach hygiene a bit differently. I recommend going a few hours at a time, and increasing it daily. But if you know what you're in for from the previous device, then push forward more quickly.

4 - I shave or close trim because I don't like the hair getting caught and pinched. The polycarbonate will resist Nair, Neet, or whatever you're using. You may, however, get a burning reaction on your skin. My wabbly bits don't like it much.

3 - This is the part that nobody can answer for you. From your tale, it sounds like you've already made the biggest leap (and it sounds much like my own from a few years ago). But be aware that at some point you may find it extremely difficult, you may regret your decision, or you may fight against it. And that's okay - it's normal. Just let your wife know ahead of time that you may have to depend upon her firm guidance and support. It's important that you keep up the discussion so that she understand what you're going through (it's a big emotional change) and that you're not simply being crabby from not coming.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Hey, I only have 9 more posts than you - 10 now. I'm a newbie too, so feel free to speak up.

Thanks for the response. Like chastity, sharing that level of personal information is fun and scary at the same time.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by Whizbang »

CaptivatedCaveman wrote:Huh. Not one response.
Wet towel warning here. Move on if you're not up to that--honestly, I should just not weigh in on such things.

You're a gifted writer. And I've almost replied to you on more than one occasion.

To be a bit blunt, it's easy to fall hard for chastity. Words like "journey" are pretty common in missives from folks newly introduced into chastity, and a lot of these folks, for lack of a better term, flame out. Sometimes I wonder if the fervor to profess belies an override of conflicted desires.

So I think the veterans on this forum are being judicious about weighing in. In my short experience here, I've seen a couple folks come in hot and heavy and then disappear. You seem to be doing it the right way, and many of the men on this forum would be envious to have a partner as open to the concept to yours!

In general, I'd characterize this forum more as an open and frank, even boring, exchange of advice about the realities of day-to-day of relationships, devices, etc. There are definitely forums out there that fuel the fantasy side of things. But a place like this is pretty much a godsend of a safe haven--being able to ask practical questions and get pretty no-bullshit answers about some of the day-to-day stuff is invaluable.

To reiterate, I'm relatively new to this, so take all of this with a grain of salt.
CaptivatedCaveman wrote: I wore the CB6000s from Saturday night to Monday night, 48 hours. During that time I had little to no discomfort, something I'm still amazed at. When I wore the CB3000 I was in agony within a few hours. My wife and I are enjoying the "horny high" we are both experiencing, aware that what we are feeling in the moment will need to be followed by hard work to make this growth in our relationship permanent. We are probably much more cautious in our optimism than comes across in my recounting of this past weekend's events.
Caution is good, as is not overselling to your partner. I'm assuming that many of the folks here (like me) are more likely to be on the subby side and, from personal experience, it's really easy for a subby's eyes to exceed his appetites. IMO, chastity all about the horny high and how it makes you feel and act, so I think you're coming at it from the right direction.

IMO, I could not ever get the plastic devices to work well long term (some do), but they make an excellent introduction and I think make for an indispensable way to learn the appropriate sizing. I made mistakes and had some rather bad luck, to boot, but I wouldn't have done it differently.

For couples, chastity isn't just a solitary thing, but a relationship dynamic, so getting some of the ground rules right is good. In my case, my partner was very understanding about breaks needed for comfort and health reasons. (And there's more there.) But if you don't view a break as a failure and your SO doesn't view a break as a failure, you're on a good path under the assumption that chastity is compatible with your relationship dynamic.
CaptivatedCaveman wrote: 1. Is it a mistake to use the "go slow" approach? Will my body face the same hurdle each time I wear the device? If so, am I better off just keeping it on, gutting my way through the discomfort until my body adjusts?
IMO, hell no! You'll want to be able to learn what sorts of discomfort are just discomfort and what sorts of discomfort are "OMG, I need to get this off for a few (or more) days to recover". How are you expected to intuit all that without some trial and error?! Err on the side of safety.
CaptivatedCaveman wrote: 2. Will my body adjust? If so, how long does it take? Do people find that after they've gone, say, one week in chastity, it's clear sailing from then on or does the time-to-soreness just keep moving slowly back?
Yes, you'll adjust. It will vary though. Sometimes, you just get in a bunch in the wrong way all day or overnight and you feel the effects for a while. Sometimes, you get too excited for too long and things are a more than a bit tender. Some devices, you'll just never adjust to. Sometimes, you'll have to look around a device that starts to work. Trial and error.
CaptivatedCaveman wrote: 3. Assuming physical discomfort is not a problem, are there any other times that become challenging? Are there other specific psychological or physiological hurdles that one must clear along the way?
I'd say the basic areas where it becomes challenging:

- Dealing with longer term denial in the face of devices and bodies that aren't perfect.
- Dealing with relationship issues that may surface in terms of the introduction of new things into your sex life

The specifics are going to be specific to you and probably warrant threads of their own.
CaptivatedCaveman wrote: 4. Assuming I'm locked up long term, are there any depilatory creams safe for genital hair removal? If so, is there any chance they'd react with the plastic CD? What about with stainless steel if I switch to metal?
Brief plug: metal is way better than plastic---even my current (soon to change) non-custom metal.

It's really not just grooming, but cleanliness and odor. In my relationship, my key holder doesn't really have an issue letting me out for some cleaning and grooming in the shower. I can't speak for depilatory creams except to say that these can be harsh and, if you can get permission to do some periodic grooming, it's probably the easiest route.

When I got locked, I couldn't believe that I'd spent decades unlocked--it just felt right. But I've had rather extended breaks for both health and relationship reasons, and... that's been okay.

The only right and wrong here is what's right or wrong for your relationship and your mutual satisfaction. As kids, we got gold stars on our homework, but as adults, we have to suffer with the burden of awarding ourselves our own gold stars. I find there's nothing better than getting a gold star from my partner.

In terms of life with a companion, it's going to come down to social dynamic comprising mutual admiration mixed in with whatever primal, animal instincts our biology or upbringing has raised us with and with which our partner can put up with or hopefully get off on.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by wishful4 »

It is a huge milestone if the KH/spouse can finally understand that the MC and the relationship is about what she wants. Women seem to focus a lot on what we want from them and go to great lengths to provide it. To get them past this is no small undertaking. Once they get there, huge strides can be made.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Wet towel warning here. Move on if you're not up to that--honestly, I should just not weigh in on such things.
No, no. That's exactly what I need. I know how easy it is to get lost in the fantasy, lose perspective, and then have the whole dream come crashing down. I want to make this work. In my first two posts I was indulging my feelings of joy at what we are doing. A brief moment of exultation at reaching the summit of a mountain. Then of course it's time to continue on the trail and where does it lead in the distance? To yet another mountain to climb.

So yes, I know that now the hard work begins. I expect that not all my storytelling-style posts will be as hot as the initial ones, but I promise that they'll be honest.
Words like "journey" are pretty common in missives from folks newly introduced into chastity
Yeah, I can see that. I almost titled the thread, "And so it begins..." but I doubted many people would get the Babylon 5 reference.

I'm okay with "journey" though. In much the same way that your priest, rabbi, etc., might refer to your marriage as a journey as he/she officiates the wedding. A time for joy and celebration, but also a commitment to face the challenges ahead together.
Sometimes I wonder if the fervor to profess belies an override of conflicted desires.
It's funny - I was just thinking about something along these lines last night. We all have conflicting desires. In my case, I can give into my purely physical desire for sex and feel unsatisfied on some deeper psychological or spiritual level, or I can accept my desire for submission to my wife and relinquish my free access to sex. Considering that I've long felt unhappy with the former, I think I'm ready to embrace the latter. Only time will tell.

I'm planning on continuing to share my experiences, although this week is a little crazy so I don't know when I'll get to craft another segment. We have a friend visiting from out of state today and then my wife and I are vacationing with other friends this weekend. Very busy, much to do.

BTW, my wife has joined the forums using the handle, "imalmostalwaysright" which is an eerily accurate description of her. She's planning on posting in the keyholder's thread, but considering she's even busier than I, I'm not sure when that'll be.
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Re: A Journey into Chastity

Post by CaptivatedCaveman »

Didn't think you were fishing for responses.
Almost forgot to address this. Yes, I guess my insecurities were showing a little. I'm normally a very private person, so opening up like that is a big deal for me. The, hopefully reliable, anonymity of the internet certainly helps.

I'm not looking for the adulation of the crowd or anything, like some attention hungry star looking to be showered with roses. It was more a matter of wanting the reassurance of being accepted and understood. At some point I'll have to recount how I got into BDSM, and all the mistakes I made along the way as I stripped away society's preconceptions of who I was supposed to be.
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