Keyholder Forum

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Tom Allen
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by Tom Allen » Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:01 am

Markbentorah wrote:Is going to be available as read only to none KHs any time soon?
That question has never come up.

Any thoughts from the rest of the members?
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locked4her55
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by locked4her55 » Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:44 am

Tom Allen wrote:
Markbentorah wrote:Is going to be available as read only to none KHs any time soon?
That question has never come up.

Any thoughts from the rest of the members?
I would be open to a "read only" status.

Tom, maybe you or Belle could put the question out to the KH's and see if they would object. I know my wife/KH can follow my posts but I can't see her's.

If this was to happen I wouldn't want to hinder and future postings from the KH's.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by Tom Allen » Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:28 pm

The Keyholder only forum was meant as a place where the KHs - who are mostly newbie, vanilla-ish women - can talk about what they are experiencing without interference from their partners, and without the stress of horny guys saying "Oh, just lock him up and make him do what you want." Granted most of the men around here are mature and well mannered, but even just joking might set some of the women off the wrong way.

And from what I've read over the years, a lot of women are very concerned about whether they are "doing it right" in order to please their partner (because let's be honest - 9 out of 10 times it's the guy who has raised the issue after having fantasized about it for several years). Having a discussion forum in which they can interact with each other - and with more experienced players - without interference, or feeling judged, or worrying about whether their partner can see what they are asking (or complaining about!) is probably helpful in the long run.
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wishful4
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by wishful4 » Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:36 pm

Although I'm still trying to get my KH/spouse to join, I recommend opening it up to read only for non-keyholders if the majority of our keyholding members agree.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by Mutt_VB » Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:04 pm

I have to disagree. The KH forum is for our KH's. I know my wife reads here but is not active. I do know once she becomes active she would not like me to be able to read what she is conversing about in the KH forum. Please respect your KH'r and let them have their own private place to converse.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by Tom Allen » Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:30 pm

Okay, I've been thinking about this for a while, and maybe I need to ask the question: What would be the benefit of allowing the non-KHs to read the forums? Personally, I can't see how this helps the KHs (for whose benefit we started a KH forum, in case anyone has forgotten), and upon further reflection, I can't even see how this helps the non-keyholders.
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conorg
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by conorg » Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:38 pm

Don't open it up! It's a private place for the KH's to have a conversation.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by Locked by LRC » Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:54 am

I vote to leave it totally for Key Holder only.

If they are discussing things they shouldn't have to feel that "caged animals" are looking at what they are saying.

What if they are discussing a surprise they are trying to work on?

How will they feel when they ask or advise something, and then it becomes a topic on the main site?

I remember the Key Holder section started because of requests for a place where Key Holders only would have access. Wouldn't this defeat the intended reason for its existence?
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by celticqueens_sub » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:35 am

I am not in favour of the KH forum being opened to read only. It is a 'safe' place aimed at newbies beinging able to speak to more experienced KH's.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Post by TwistedMister » Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:46 am

I have mixed feelings- by nature I am a curious and inquisitive person, and have an innate desire to discover what is hidden. On the other hand, I like surprises, and, there are certain things that, in regards to this type of scenario, I don't want to know- For instance, we recently had an exciting encounter filled with some hot talk and verbal 'teasing' on a subject that has [so far] been merely fantasy fodder, but afterward Mrs. Twisted felt that she had the need to reassure me that she wouldn't actually enact the particular scenario that had been the subject of the teasing...and that kind of killed the 'hotness' of the scene, if not for the [then] current bit of play, it would kill it in the future because it would now be in the back of my mind that it would never really happen.

Part of the excitement of this sort of play involves the creation/fostering of particular psychological conditions, and (as has been discussed here before) a certain amount of 'suspension of reality' and the 'mind fuck' (to put it slightly crudely). Exposing the KH forum to the view of non-KHs could open them up to criticism from their partners, bring to light insecurities they are trying to keep hidden in order to create a 'better' atmosphere for their partners, and could spoil surprises they might be planning/discussing for the future.

If Mrs. Twisted were participating in the KH forum, I suspect that I would have an even greater desire to put my eye to the keyhole than I do now, and I can see that it is possible that I would either be disappointed at learning something I didn't really want to know, or, I might be tempted to influence her outside of the forum after having seen her discussions with other KHs.

All things considered, the decision of the KHs to expose their thoughts and discussions should be up to the KHs themselves, and that does not require opening the forum to non-KHs. There is nothing to prevent the KHs from opening threads on non-restricted forums in order to inform their partners of what they might want them to know or think (should they choose to make these thoughts/discussions public).

In short, although I might be as curious as any to see the [hidden] discussions of the KHs, objectively I would have to say that I think it shouldn't be permitted.

Just my opinion, for whatever it may be worth.
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