I envy Ab and Dev

[Belle]

Dev, as Jnuts stated I am very happy to see you back! It is reassuring to have a little more estrogen floating around the forums. We disappeared as well for a few months, life gets crazy at times. Glad to hear that it was just everyday stuff keeping you away, not something more drastic.

[Chaz]

Dev wrote:

"I can't tell you the last time he had an orgasm and he probably couldn't tell me either, if I asked. He's never been into dates and I've stopped paying attention. His orgasms really aren't relevant anymore. "

Happy to hear all is well and your back posting. If i could ask you to elaborate on Ab's orgasm's being irrelevant. I've read and enjoyed your blog and I didn't see you moving into permanent denial. I would be very interested if you could comment further

[Dev]

Dev wrote:

Happy to hear all is well and your back posting. If i could ask you to elaborate on Ab's orgasm's being irrelevant. I've read and enjoyed your blog and I didn't see you moving into permanent denial. I would be very interested if you could comment further

As I said, it's not something we've really talked about. I just wonder if it is going to happen.

For several months--maybe mid April until the end of July--Ab was "cage free" but even so, we didn't revert back to "old" (or "traditional" or PIV) sex. We kept up with what we've been doing since August 2010--chaste Ab giving me orgasms. It was a version of the honor system. He didn't pester me about having an orgasm, either (he never has). He's as horny as hell and moans and groans a lot but doesn't seem to want to go the step further to actually having an orgasm. It's hard to explain but whatever this unconventional arrangement is, it's working for us.

D

[Dev]

Dev, as Jnuts stated I am very happy to see you back! It is reassuring to have a little more estrogen floating around the forums. We disappeared as well for a few months, life gets crazy at times. Glad to hear that it was just everyday stuff keeping you away, not something more drastic.

Thanks for the welcome back! It's good to be here.

I'm curious about your Nuts4toys blog. Can you tell me more about it, how this got started, etc.?

D

[Belle]

I'm curious about your Nuts4toys blog. Can you tell me more about it, how this got started, etc.?

D

It kinda started by accident. With Jnuts being locked up pretty much all the time now I was buying toys to keep things interesting. We were looking at different toy review blogs, and realized that we could do it too. We were pretty much reviewing them in our regular blog anyways. A few emails to a couple of companies and I have toys arriving at my doorstep!

[GoodOlBoy]

This kind of seems to be the official unofficial welcome back Dev thread so I say the same. I found this forum and joined it about the same time you took a little time off. Am not really able to post much, but went back and read everything from the start. When I finally caught up I was really missing your posts, and even started a thread hoping for you to come back.

So welcome back from the new guy.

[Dev]

This kind of seems to be the official unofficial welcome back Dev thread so I say the same. I found this forum and joined it about the same time you took a little time off. Am not really able to post much, but went back and read everything from the start. When I finally caught up I was really missing your posts, and even started a thread hoping for you to come back.

So welcome back from the new guy.

Hey New Old Guy...thanks for your welcome. I hope to be back on track. The past few months have been busy and stressful but that actually made me realize how much I enjoyed writing the blog. So....

D

[fuzzydunlop]

Ab took a device wearing break for a few months (I can't tell you the exact dates) but that wasn't really a chastity break. More that he didn't want to wear his metal cage when it was hot. But he locked himself back up a few months ago (maybe the end of July?) when he realized I liked him better locked. I think he has come to prefer it, too. I can't tell you the last time he had an orgasm and he probably couldn't tell me either, if I asked. He's never been into dates and I've stopped paying attention. His orgasms really aren't relevant anymore. I sort of wonder if we'll sort of slide into a permanent orgasm denial situation but not make a big announcement or have any bells & whistles. It will just be what is.

We've also come to an understanding that he's a "lifestyle slave" which is sort of complicated but it works for us. I'll be blogging about that, too.

D

We primarily use the honor system. I can't stop thinking about dates, however. A couple of things interest me:

1. What does "irrelevant" mean to you? Are his orgasms something that either of both of you avoid, or something that either or both of you don't care about one way or another? Something else?

2. What does "permanent" mean? Does it mean that you would like it if he never orgasms? Or maybe you would like to control him indefinitely? Something else?

We've flirted with chastity and D/s stuff for years, but seem to be using it more the past few. We've gone on a couple of long streaks this year, interrupted by various stresses, minor illness, stress, etc. My going solo is something that my wife didn't seem to care about a few years ago, and I think she actually gets annoyed these days. She also seems to get kick out of me being deferential, as long as I am not too clingy. It seems the more that we have a "grown up" household, the more she likes to be in charge.

[cb6000s]

While these questions are asked of a key holder please allow me to give my input as a key helder.
I want my orgasms to be irrelevant to my key holder. That is the whole point of what we are doing. She controls my orgasms and that is that. However, that doesn’t mean I get less sex and loving. In fact, I get more sex and loving. Just less orgasms. That is a trade-off that I am more than willing to make
As for permanent I don’t really know what that means. At some point I will have my last orgasm and at some later point I will die. I expect to die in a chastity device. Was I in permanent orgasm denial for that time?

[fuzzydunlop]

6000cbs---

Tom A. told me that should be "key heldee".

Thanks for your views, but I am not sure any of that answers the questions. The answers may not be so obvious.
I don't think everyone or even most people who practice chastity feel the same way about orgasms being irrelevant. I would say that I am having fewer orgasms lately, but the quality is amazing. Certainly, we are avoiding orgasms, but does that make them irrelevant?

As for what is permanent, two things come to mind---there is a difference between permanent control and permanent denial. Also, the intent might be to never have another orgasm or to avoid orgasms indefinately.