Is this the end... or just the means?

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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby TwistedMister » Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:25 am

cuyahoga wrote:My definition for “permanent” would never be no more orgasms ever. My version of permanent would be permanently under her control...completely removing any hope of an orgasm would kill the whole thing for me. Putting a cage on me that couldn’t be removed at all is not a fantasy that I have.

For us, for me, chastity is extremely long foreplay. Orgasm denial is the even longer extension of that foreplay. Orgasm, at some point, will always be the culmination of that foreplay.


This is my thought too.

For us, device enforced 'chastity' is about power and control. The device is [one of] the stick(s) and orgasm is the carrot. I *like* physical stimulation and orgasm, the device removes from me the power to choose to achieve that on my own and cedes it to her- the fact that *she* is the one who controls when and how I get pleasure and orgasm provides the basis for her to have additional power and control.

If there were no hope of orgasm, no carrot, motivation would be removed and the power structure would crumble. You have to give the carrot to the donkey once in a while in order to keep him pulling the cart.
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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby sirmebane » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:10 pm

cuyahoga wrote:In our relationship, chastity is a means.

My definition for “permanent” would never be no more orgasms ever. My version of permanent would be permanently under her control, instead of the breaks that we take where our sexual relationship becomes equal for periods of time. I would love for every single one of my orgasms to be “granted” to me at strictly her discretion, and for the cage to be employed far, far more often than not.

But completely removing any hope of an orgasm would kill the whole thing for me. Putting a cage on me that couldn’t be removed at all is not a fantasy that I have.

For us, for me, chastity is extremely long foreplay. Orgasm denial is the even longer extension of that foreplay. Orgasm, at some point, will always be the culmination of that foreplay.


This explains my thoughts as well. I don't take things into my own hands often but she has become more curious about whether or not I have when I'm unlocked. She doesn't dwell on it but she never used to ask. If only she would own the process entirely and never leave me unlocked.

I feel so much better about the world when I am caged. If I was caged with no hope of ever being satisfied sexually again, I would resent the whole exercise. I crave the attention she gives me, the attention I feel compelled to give her because of my frustration and the whole sense of intimacy when we play.
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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby LockedByBD » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:12 pm

sirmebane
I feel so much better about the world when I am caged. If I was caged with no hope of ever being satisfied sexually again, I would resent the whole exercise. I crave the attention she gives me, the attention I feel compelled to give her because of my frustration and the whole sense of intimacy when we play.


You really got me thinking. I agree almost completely ... except that "the world" seems to shrink a bit and become "her world." I do feel better about the world because she's in it and I want, I need, I am compelled, to make it better for her. The attention, whether cuddling, teasing, outright denial, or that occasional release (with or without O) just spurs me on to make her happy.

I just wish she'd get beyond her hang-ups and take a bit more control. I have to be patient.
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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby slave d » Wed Jan 10, 2018 9:52 pm

It also depends on your definition of “sexually satisfied” !! i have just had a “playtime” with MsM where She first masturbated to a porn video while i helped (i get to hold the dildo for Her). She then had 4 more very intense orgasms riding a dildo strapped above Her cage (it is Her cage as well as Her cock and balls) before removing Her cage (leaving the A-ring in place) and milking me (She is expert at this and leaves me empty but still totally aroused). She then got Her favourite paddle and paddled my bum for 80 strokes, stopping every ten and stroking my erect and straining cock, before telling me to tidy up and relock myself (it took a while before that was possible). Was i sexually satisfied ? not if you feel orgasm is the only male “satisfaction” but in every other way hell yes !!! I was aroused for close to an hour and am still swollen in MsM’s cage an hour later as i write this and i’ll take that over an orgasm any day !! i do realise i’m a very lucky boy by the way ..... MsM reminds me of that fact regularly !!!

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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby jfenoffti » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:50 pm

Steve2059 wrote: My wife likes the injection of sex, but also of romance and cuddling.

Mine too.
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Tease me, deny me, thrill me! Just do it slowly.
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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby jfenoffti » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:58 pm

_lj_ wrote:For me, chastity is indeed the means - I want to take any pressure off My Lady to "provide" for me, or feel obliged to have any form of sex if she doesn't want to.


Exactly. This was/is a huge part of my wife/KH interest in, acceptance of, male chastity practice.

_lj_ wrote:Ultimately, the aim is to change my viewpoint, to put My Lady first in sexual matters. A few ounces of stainless steel does concentrate the mind!


Bingo. And I've found, not just in "sexual" matters. But, in all things, putting her first, period. This (my) paradigm shift has been the key to happiness for us. And I'm guessing will work for the vast majority of couples.
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Re: Is this the end... or just the means?

Postby jfenoffti » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:59 pm

cuyahoga wrote:In our relationship, chastity is a means.


For us, for me, chastity is extremely long foreplay. Orgasm denial is the even longer extension of that foreplay. Orgasm, at some point, will always be the culmination of that foreplay.


+1
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