Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

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Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

Postby cuyahoga » Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:17 pm

So ... in my perusal of the scope of the interwebs today, I came across another of those ridiculous “How to be a Keyholder” guides. It was the same, now very common, and generally unhelpful storyline as most of the others I’ve seen. Recent shifts in my own perspective, though, got me to thinking about something ...

It spent some time telling the ladies about how, if they lock their man in chastity long enough, he’ll start doing all the chores happily. It told the ladies that he would do this because he wanted her to let him out and give him an orgasm.

And I thought to myself ...
I was locked in chastity this weekend ...
and I did all of the chores and then some ...

But I did that because I want her to KEEP me locked in chastity and NOT let me have an orgasm.
And as I read around the web, guys giving advice to guys always mention, when she locks you up, suddenly become more helpful, and when she unlocks you, make it a point to be less helpful.

I know that there is a part of my brain that definitely switches over when I’m denied orgasms, and that is further enhanced by the cage. I start to see things more from her perspective, and I want to make her happier and more relaxed. Conserve her energy.

But there’s a little part that keeps looking even further, for more that can be done, to encourage her to believe that I’m better caged and denied.

I’m never hoping that she’ll let me out.
Where’s that “Guide for Keyholders”? The one that says “wait ‘til he’s begging, and then say ‘no’ and wait two more weeks”. The one that says “if he’s begging to be let out, you’re doing it right, don’t stop.”
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Re: Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

Postby jfenoffti » Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:13 pm

Right here! Clear and concise. Keep it simple.
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Tease me, deny me, thrill me! Just do it slowly.
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Re: Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

Postby Tom Allen » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:22 pm

It spent some time telling the ladies about how, if they lock their man in chastity long enough, he’ll start doing all the chores happily. It told the ladies that he would do this because he wanted her to let him out and give him an orgasm.


Yeah, this is the typical "selling point" for any type of chastity or femdom play. "Make your man do more chores." Not really very sexy, if you ask me.
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Re: Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

Postby cuyahoga » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:47 pm

And I get it ... everyone thinks that’s the vanilla woman’s deepest longing, a man who will do the laundry.

In addition, yeah, I really do get more done when I’m denied and in chastity. Given the choice between cleaning the house and playstation, my chance of choosing cleaning is definitely proportional to the length of time I’ve gone without an orgasm. And the cage is a multiplier.

But it just occurred to me that it’s always presented as ‘he will do it so you will unlock him,’ when the reality, for me at least, is that I do those things so she’ll keep me locked up and denied orgasm. So she’ll view this paradigm as better for her.

Now let’s be careful here. For me, that’s like ten percent of the reason. The other ninety is a combination of the look of surprise and appreciation and happiness that she gets when I’ve gone out of my way to do something really impressive, and the knowledge that some of these things weigh on her mind and keep her from feeling sexy. Chores that aren’t done bug her, so know that when the house is spotless, I have a better chance of getting sexy time, no matter who cleaned it.

I just think it’s funny, and I just realized it, that they all present the topic like that. In my experience, any guy looking for his wife’s participation in this fetish is going to be hoping for more lockdown at her request and less freedom, and someone should write a “Keyholder’s Guide” that emphasizes that kind of thing. I think it would be far more helpful.

Any guy that’s doing all of those things in the hope of getting out of his cage or belt, should just take it off and tell his wife that he’s not into chastity...
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Re: Keyholder Guides - okay, yeah, no

Postby Tullyboy » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:30 pm

cuyahoga wrote:Now let’s be careful here. For me, that’s like ten percent of the reason. The other ninety is a combination of the look of surprise and appreciation and happiness that she gets when I’ve gone out of my way to do something really impressive, and the knowledge that some of these things weigh on her mind and keep her from feeling sexy.


Yep. Even before a chastity device, it didn't take a PhD to figure out that if I removed obstacles from her life, she felt more at liberty to enjoy relaxing (and sometimes sexy) time.

I do seem to be a little different from the mainstream chaste person (ha!) in that my goal behind chastity is to reduce our sexual times. I just got so tired of seeing her providing sex because she felt that she had to do so. I enjoy it so much more when the motivation is based upon her desire and not mine. But in this, I MUST expect to receive less since her desire is less. And so I'm not at all hoping that she keeps me locked. I'm entirely waiting to be unlocked and deeply loved (read orgasm). For me, a chastity device is the way to survive the time between her desires.
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