Anxiety

Living the real life under lock and key

Anxiety

Postby happilylockedman » Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:36 am

I feel ashamed of admitting it but, last night, when my wife told me to take Cialis tomorrow morning I felt a stab of anxiety. I have posted here previously about how chastity helps me with performance anxiety. If I’m locked up and pleasuring her but don’t maintain an erection it doesn’t matter. I get a lot out of chastity and this is certainly one of the important benefits for me.

My wife has never gotten into my chastity as enthusiastically as it seems some of the wives/girlfriends of some of you guys have. She wears a key, which I appreciate, but doesn’t ask for much sexually and rarely initiates an exchange of sexual energy. So, last night, when she spoke about Cialis I quickly assured her that we didn’t have to have sex that led to intercourse. She delightfully laughed that she loves having me inside her. How about this for a paradox: When she finally expresses an interest in sex I get anxious!

In order to give you a more complete picture I have to add this: She and I often hug but it’s just about always an “affectionate” hug rather than a sexy one. Two nights ago I was feeling particularly needy of sexual attention. I explained to her the important difference for me between the two kinds of contact. We both agreed that the ideal thing for me would be for her to read my mind. And we both agreed that if she couldn’t read my mind I needed to tell her what I needed. (Of course, the best world would be for her to want to do to me what I wanted her to do and for her to be ravenous for my sexual attention) We actually had an excellent talk – open and non-blaming. I kind of assume that her invitation to me last night was a result of that talk.

So, I’m sitting here at 7:30 in the morning with Cialis coursing through my system and my penis feeling ready for action. I’m feeling better for having gotten my feelings out. Thanks for listening.
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Re: Anxiety

Postby slave d » Sat Oct 14, 2017 5:31 pm

i have a problem with anxiety in general and certainly performance anxiety used to be a large part of that. When we first got into chastity MsM would let me out quite frequently for PIV and inevitably the result would be a poor performance on my part as the prior control of my orgasm caged would simply give me a hair trigger. We did two things that have sorted this for us (other peoples results may vary lol). First, in order to communicate better i was required (and still do this 4 years later) to give MsM a weekly written report on chastity activities AND particularly how they made me feel, plus my fantasies and desires for the future. MsM rarely comments on these reports and there is no blame/shame attached, they simply let Her know how i feel. The second big step was finding a way that She can enjoy sexual activity and orgasm without me being unlocked. MsM is very big on penetration and doesn’t much like oral sex unfortunately, but we soon found that the right dildo (She calls it Her Buck) used the right way, initially with a vibrator and later strapped above my cage for Her to ride does the job for Her and She has more orgasms than ever. Now my performance anxiety is about having an accidental ruined orgasm in the cage while She is riding me, i literally begin to feel it’s my cock She’s riding. So, after some years of chastity i am virtually never allowed PIV and when i am its only to show me what i’m missing out on. Effectively i’m a cuckold to Her Buck and i love it that way.

As i say, different strokes for different strokes but good communication in some form that works for you plus finding a method that your Wife really enjoys to orgasm without you would be my suggestions. Just remember too this is a journey rather than a destination and it takes 2 to make it work and time for that to happen. Meantime enjoy your PIV and being allowed to cum, that may change as your Wife takes more and more control !!
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Re: Anxiety

Postby TwistedMister » Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:49 am

happilylockedman wrote:So, I’m sitting here at 7:30 in the morning with Cialis coursing through my system and my penis feeling ready for action. I’m feeling better for having gotten my feelings out. Thanks for listening.


How would you feel, if she had you take the Cialis and then *didn't* let you out?

(I have to confess, that is the sort of twisted little mind-fuck that I find erotic.)
07/01/17 "I *really enjoy* teasing you, getting you all worked up and then leaving you hanging." --Mrs. Twisted
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Re: Anxiety

Postby happilylockedman » Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:25 am

As events unfolded yesterday morning we began our intimate play soon after my wife woke up. That in itself surprised me as usually she needs a long time to limber up. When we are making love we often alternate between who is being more active and who is being more receptive and yesterday was no exception. Me fondling her, she fondling me. Despite my earlier anxiety about maintaining my erection I was hard as a rock. I wanted to make sure she got off and eventually I gave her a lovely orgasm with my hands. In a little while, after she recovered, I started playing with her again and she sweetly said "I'm done. How about you?" Just as sweetly I replied "You can come more than once" as I continued to fondle her. She soon started responding. I got on top and entered her and in just a few strokes had a massively satisfying orgasm. She came again as well. My fuse was shorted yesterday than usual but we were both well satisfied.

As I entered her I wondered if I could stop myself from coming. You know, stroke until I was almost there and then stop to save my charge for later. Nope. My consciousness laser focused on the intense feelings that I was enjoying and my great orgasm.

I showered and locked myself up again. Happily.
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Re: Anxiety

Postby jfenoffti » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:12 pm

TwistedMister wrote:
How would you feel, if she had you take the Cialis and then *didn't* let you out?

(I have to confess, that is the sort of twisted little mind-fuck that I find erotic.)


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Re: Anxiety

Postby happilylockedman » Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:10 pm

How would I have felt if she asked me to take Cialis, had her orgasm and then said "Thanks Sweety, we're done. Time to lock you back up".

I would have groaned A-a-a-r-r-r-ghhh. I would have pleaded. I would have felt desperate.
And yes, it would have been erotic. I'm glad she didn't. :-)
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