When did chastity go from play to for real?

Living the real life under lock and key

When did chastity go from play to for real?

Postby VinnyDee » Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:24 pm

I have been a fetishist for 47 years. For me it was always a game. Even when I was being cuckolded by an ex girlfriend, it was just a game. It became real when she asked my three friends to gang bang her and then called me in to clean her up. That was too real and personal for me so I kicked her out.

When my wife started inviting girls to join us in bed, that was fun. My wife did not have sex with the other women other than a short kiss or a quick fondle. I was the focus of the girls and often my wife would sit back and just watch. That became real when she invited her best friend to live with us and they had sex often over a 30 year period. That went from play to living in a Poly Triad.

When we started chastity it was for play. My orgasm denial periods were measured in weeks and my wife wife was not too interested in my chastity cage, only my promise to not masturbate. I asked for the cage when she started denying me longer and longer but I quickly discovered that I can easily masturbate locked up in any of my 5 cages. For me it is not about the cage. It is all about my promise. Still we left chastity in the bedroom and it did not affect the rest of our marriage other than the fact I was wearing my cage 24/7/365.

Over the last year it went from a game to a lifestyle if it can be viewed as a lifestyle. My wife became very strict about me being locked up and I am only unlocked for medical/dental visits. She no longer unlocks me for showers or sex. I used to get edged every week or preform oral on my wife gut no more. She lays back and as kiss her she grabs her vibrator in one hand and my balls in the other, squeezing them to make me moan which turns her on. She has become more assertive outside the bedroom. Threatens to paddle me if I do not obey. I sued to be ablel to negotiate the minimum number of orgasms I got each year. She always started at zero an me at 8 and met somewhere in the middle. Now I have zero say in everything. I do not know when or if I will have an orgasm and how many I will get per year. She used to give me an orgasm when I annoyed her for one just to shut me up but now I get paddled instead so I keep quiet.

It now feels real and it is difficult for me since I am naturally alpha and under my leadership we have prospered beyond our wildest expectations. My wife does not want to change that as there is a wide gulf between us in both education and intelligence. I am sort of feeling that I am a money making machine but nothing else. The passionate good night kisses are sometimes skipped or avoided. With my anniversary coming up in a few weeks, I will wait to see what happens then. Traditionally I get an orgasm and this is our 45th so it is more special than our others. I cannot believer that will be married 50 years when I turn 71. I will probably see our 60 year anniversary according to actuary charts and the excellent medical care for seniors here who have a higher than average life span compared to other areas of the country.

What is the status of your chastity? Is it still game play or is it now your reality? Only couples please since self lockers have a different experience due to no power exchange. I cannot imagine how they feel.
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Re: When did chastity go from play to for real?

Postby sirmebane » Mon Oct 02, 2017 8:58 pm

A year and half for us and while my wife is more comfortable with the topic, she is no dominatrix. She doesn't demand anything (except foot rubs) and I'm still responsible for the creativity.

She'll show a spark every now and then but is mostly too worried about making everyone happy and taking care of everyone. Maybe one day.
If my comments don't annoy you, follow my exploits here. I started all of this April 2016.
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Re: When did chastity go from play to for real?

Postby VinnyDee » Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:36 pm

You will get there. At first my wife only asked for foot rubs too. My wife has no sexual imagination. Once she finds something that works, in or out of the bedroom, she will continue to do that for the rest of her life. I bought her books and copied articles for her to read so she could take what she wanted from them.

The biggest problem now is not me, it is her. She keeps me locked because she is afraid that she will get carried away during sex and make me orgasm, like it or not. She has done this before. I am fine not having an orgasm at my age, with my lower libido and ED problems due to diabetes. Hopefully the last barrier is for her to get over the impulsive need to give me orgasms when she is in the heat of the moment. For now I stay locked so she does not have to think about my pleasure at all. That is where I am having the problem. I basically have to accept it or quit it. Not sure which way I will go.
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