Worried about very long denial period.

Living the real life under lock and key

Worried about very long denial period.

Postby VinnyDee » Fri Sep 29, 2017 12:37 pm

My wife and I have been into Chastity Play for 5 years, this November. I have what some of you may say is the ideal key holder. My life reads better than any porn video I have see. There were all the fetishes, even the yucky ones. My wife turned out to be bi just like my two previous lovers. Sex between us was great. She reaches orgasm in under 3 minutes from direct clitoral stimulation, almost every time. When she came out, her best friend since childhood moved in with us and was part of our marriage for 30 years. Gradually my wife got more and more into sex with women then men. We did a wife swap once to see how she liked another man since I was he one and only. She hated it and swore off other men proclaiming me to be the only man in her life.

I really need to get to the point but I am having an anxiety attack. My wife reminded me of our deal. For the last 5 years the number of my orgasms had declined. In 2018 I am supposed to have just one but I thought she would take pity on me and forget it. She did not forget it. For all of 2017 she has kept me locked up during sex as well as the rest of the time. She bought a Fleshlight so that she would not have to touch my penis and could recycle the semen that collected in the bottom of it. Although she loves me very much and proves it every day, she just does not need my penis. We have not had intercourse for longer than we can remember and after we moved away from her longtime girlfriend, out sex was masturbating next to each other until we started chastity and then it was just her masturbating while I watched. When it was my turn for an orgasm, I either got a half hearted hand job or told to masturbate and hurry up.

Although my wife has regained an interest in men sexually, it is with men who are younger and hotter even though she has no chance of getting one due to her age and medical conditions. Most people think bisexuality is black and white but it fluctuates and it is not all or nothing. My wife loves sex with women but never dated one or had a romance with any. She only has a sexual interest in them. That is a long story too, dealing with an abusive alcoholic father. No matter, we will never again have a normal sex life.

In the past the longest I went without an orgasm was 4 months. Now she expects me to go a year. The changes over the last 5 years have surprised me. I was the dominant one and now she tells me she is the boss and does not need to get my OK to do anything any more. She goes out with her friends three nights a week and sometimes more. No sex since her friends are all over 70. Just cards, bingo, etc. and I know where she is by her iPhone. No need to worry there. At her age she is just not interested in sex anymore and even then, she does not find a penis to be attractive or something she wants.

I had to write this because I can feel the anxiety flowing through me and I have to keep busy. I am not used to going a year without an orgasm or not being in charge of our marriage. The changes have been so gradual and my wife never spoke of them, so I did not really pay attention since I was always sexually aroused and focused on keeping her happy so I would get my orgasm every 4 months. Now she went from the shy submissive wife I knew to not being afraid to assert herself. She never made fun of my penis before or was so frank about not needing it anymore. What is heck has happened to me?

I am freaking out. I do have a question. Has anyone here really gone a year locked up and orgasm free? Maybe a ruined orgasm every so often. What is it like? Does the horny feeling get less? How often do you hae sex. We only have it once a week and I am thinking that will not be enough anymore. My wife has agreed to unlock me once in a while to edge me again so I can feel a hand against my penis once in awhile and get some pleasure from edging. She is very good at it but it does not sexually excite her. She is just doing it to torture me. She actually laughs out loud at my sexual frustration. Any help appreciate. Thanks for enduring this.

The weird part is that usually I can go 4 months with minimum trouble but having to wait a year, maybe half a year if I make her super happy, is freaking me out.
VinnyDee
 
Posts: 182
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 12:48 pm

Re: Worried about very long denial period.

Postby wishful4 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:24 pm

I think it is probably different for everyone. Like you, my spouse and I are older. Her libido is very low but she enjoys orgasm very much. My sex drive is still very much alive, but is up and down depending on a number of factors. My last lockup/denial period was a little over 4 mos. For me, the first two months are the most difficult. It kind of levels out after that. During that period, I received some manual stimulation once, and sex consisted mostly of servicing her orally, following by use of the wand and her Vixskin dildo simultaneously. She usually has several intense orgasms and I am denied. She has said my next denial period will be 6 months, at least. Honestly, the prospect of it starting both frightens and excites me. I have been self pleasuring quite frequently at the thought of it.
Wishful4
Current Device: MM Jailbird
Previous devices: CB 6000s, CB 6000, MM Queen's Keep (2)
User avatar
wishful4
 
Posts: 886
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:15 pm
Location: SE USA

Re: Worried about very long denial period.

Postby happilylockedman » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:38 pm

I, too, am older. My wife's libido is usually in the dumper which is a problem for me. I haven't had to deal with a very long period without an orgasm but the greater problem for me is a lack of sexual attention from her. My locked up condition is usually un-noticed and not paid attention to. Occasionally, when she thinks about it, she'll play with me in a half- hearted way but her playing lacks ... desire. I want to be wanted and if the way she wants me is to play with me that's fine. And I want her to want me to play with her. My having an orgasm is pretty far down my list of needs but sexual energy between us is right at the top of my list and, unfortunately, we're not doing so well in that department right now.
happilylockedman
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 3:32 pm
Location: South West Connecticut

Re: Worried about very long denial period.

Postby wishful4 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:34 pm

I feel your pain. On long lockups, I often feel neglected, but I try to remember that this is what I asked for and try harder to please her and "seduce her", so to speak. She is fairly strict and often threatens to extend my denial for complaining or asking for attention. She is the Keyholder of my fantasies, but reality is often a lot harder than fantasy.
Wishful4
Current Device: MM Jailbird
Previous devices: CB 6000s, CB 6000, MM Queen's Keep (2)
User avatar
wishful4
 
Posts: 886
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:15 pm
Location: SE USA

Re: Worried about very long denial period.

Postby slave d » Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:10 pm

FWIW, and i do realise this isnt for everyone, but i found that introducing regular discipline increased my feeling of attention. This has become an almost daily thing now and MsM is getting into it more and more. i have to leave Her paddle on the bed after Ive made it and sooner or later i get told "into the bedroom and adopt the position" and i get a good paddling (all recirded in Her discipline book). my point is that this has become an added, and regular, part of my arousal and so keeps me less likely to feel ignored. While writing this the other thing i thought of was trying to make things regular, i started bathing MsM on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and this slowly developed to include Sunday and then went on to be a "playtime" before each bath, so now its at least 3 times a week i get some sort of sexual play and most days i get discipline !! couldn't be happier now !!

MsM's ld
New Zealand
24/7/365 Contender
User avatar
slave d
 
Posts: 601
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:33 pm

Re: Worried about very long denial period.

Postby VinnyDee » Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:42 pm

slave d wrote:FWIW, and i do realise this isnt for everyone, but i found that introducing regular discipline increased my feeling of attention. This has become an almost daily thing now and MsM is getting into it more and more. i have to leave Her paddle on the bed after Ive made it and sooner or later i get told "into the bedroom and adopt the position" and i get a good paddling (all recirded in Her discipline book). my point is that this has become an added, and regular, part of my arousal and so keeps me less likely to feel ignored. While writing this the other thing i thought of was trying to make things regular, i started bathing MsM on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and this slowly developed to include Sunday and then went on to be a "playtime" before each bath, so now its at least 3 times a week i get some sort of sexual play and most days i get discipline !! couldn't be happier now !!

MsM's ld


I am comforted to know that others are going through what I am. My wife is having orgasms so intense that not only do her toes curl but so do her other muscles. Last time I was holding her when she came on her vibrator and her eyes actually rolled back in her head. First time I ever saw that in real life.

Domestic Discipline. How apropos. This morning I woke up horny and hard and was bugging my wife about having sex and she told me that she may just do so to get me to stop annoying her. I do not want that. She then brought up the subject of going back to domestic discipline as we had done years ago. I told her that she always had that option but she always threatens but never does anything she threatens to do, so I ignore her threats. She said no more hollow threats but she has said that before. She does have a nice collection of impact devices that are a combo of what her girlfriend used to use on me and a few that she bought for herself a few years ago.

She does not know how to paddle or cane erotically. She just does it for maximum pain value so if I find that she is serious, I will have to modify my behavior. She leaves bruises or welts and as she said, the real punishment does not start until I cannot take anymore. She still needs guidance about warming up and building up to full force. She just starts off full force and leaves no time between blows. That results in a very short discipline period as I get no time to adjust to the pain. Our girlfriend used to be able to give me 200-300 whacks before stopping. I tend to go numb after the first 100 blows.

Funny thing is that she did not realize that we are in our 5th year of chastity. She thought it was just over a year. I showed her the receipts for my first device and she was shocked. I told her that she is just used to this being our normal sex life so she pays no attention to the time that has passed as I do. This brings up an issue that I am sure others have. While we are acutely aware that we are locked up and denied, our KH are not because they are not locked up or missing out on orgasms. Sometimes it is difficult to remember that our KH are not as involved in chastity minute by minute as we are so talking about it too much can get annoying to them.
VinnyDee
 
Posts: 182
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 12:48 pm


Return to General Chastity Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Majestic-12 [Bot] and 5 guests