Men's Retreat Weekend

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Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby happilylockedman » Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:21 pm

I just got back from spending the weekend at a men's retreat in Connecticut. It's an excellent group that provides a safe place for men to explore intimacy, sexuality and the myriad other concerns of men. Friday night there was a workshop on sexuality with about thirty participants. We were told that, in order to help make it "safe" for men to open up about whatever they wanted to, we shouldn't approach someone later to ask about whatever he might have said in the workshop.

Well, one man questioned the focus that many men put on orgasm and ejaculation. He said that he had been practicing not coming in order to prolong his enjoyment of the anticipation and all the other aspects of orgasm control that we here are so familiar with. He was really pleased the results.

I really wanted to speak about my use of chastity and his speaking opened it up for me. I told this group of 30 men that I was using a chastity device to help myself achieve the same goal. Believe me when I tell you, I was nervous. I spoke about my desire for sex and my wife's not being in synch and saw knowing nods. I spoke about my long refractory period and saw more knowing nods. I regret that I didn't tell the group that if anyone wanted to talk to me after that we welcome to. I would have liked talking about my experiences in more detail that I did in the group but I was very happy with myself for having spoken up in the group.

I also started to question why I wear a device instead of using the self control that the other man had described. It didn't take me long to answer myself: I don't have as much self control as he does. Before I went on my weekend I showered and washed myself without my device. After the shower I used lotion. It felt really good, I got hard, and I mindlessly masturbated. This was the first time I did that since I started using a chastity device, this past April, and I was disappointed in myself. So that was my answer: I need it.
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Re: Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby WifeIsVanilla » Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:40 am

I have a completely different reason for using a chastity device. It feels so good. It is like constant low level foreplay.
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Re: Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby Tom Allen » Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:32 am

I can't imagine opening up like that in what I imagine was a Christian Men's retreat, but more power to you.
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Re: Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby jfenoffti » Mon Sep 18, 2017 2:13 pm

Chastity (read fidelity) is a Commandment (actually two), and that was a major factor in my wife's acceptance of practising Male Chastity. If it wasn't compatible with Christian teachings, it was a non contender. By the same token, cuckolding is totally off the table for discussion and practise. And this works well for us. (Doesn't mean it's not an extremely exciting fantasy for me, but not one that we will try.)

That being said, I can see where it could / would fit into a Christian Men's discussion. However, I also see it would take a real set of balls to bring it up and talk about it happilylockedman!

Some things are universal -- hence the "knowing nods..." of the other men in the group. People are people. We're not all so different and, I think, largely share most things about love, life, work, raising families, paying bills, chores, "chopping wood and carrying water".
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Re: Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby happilylockedman » Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:04 pm

Actually, it wasn't a Christian retreat. It was a men's retreat; a group called Connecticut Men's Gathering (Comega.org) which meets twice a year. This was the second time I met with the group. The purpose of Comega is to promote men's connection to other men in a supportive, non-judgmental environment and the group succeeds in doing that. The group, white, black and Latino, ranged in age from 16 years old to at least 75 years old, included straight, gay, bi, and one man who is transitioning to female (with a lot of anguish). No one had anything bad to say about anyone else. If anyone had been uncomfortable with another man because of his ethnicity, orientation or anything else that would have been a big deal.

I've found that whenever I speak about something that I'm afraid of speaking about ... the results have been positive. Of course, one always has to make decisions but in this environment the risk was very low.

And yes, I do have big balls which are usually kind of squished by the device I am wearing. :-)
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Re: Men's Retreat Weekend

Postby VinnyDee » Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:40 am

We started off on the honor system and that is the way I suggest others first approach their wives. I told my wife about Tantric Sex and Teasing and Denial. Much better than showing up with a hunk of plastic or metal on your penis. Sort of trying to introduce your normally submissive wife into BDSM by showing her the dungeon room you built.

happilylockedman wrote:I just got back from spending the weekend at a men's retreat in Connecticut. It's an excellent group that provides a safe place for men to explore intimacy, sexuality and the myriad other concerns of men. Friday night there was a workshop on sexuality with about thirty participants. We were told that, in order to help make it "safe" for men to open up about whatever they wanted to, we shouldn't approach someone later to ask about whatever he might have said in the workshop.

Well, one man questioned the focus that many men put on orgasm and ejaculation. He said that he had been practicing not coming in order to prolong his enjoyment of the anticipation and all the other aspects of orgasm control that we here are so familiar with. He was really pleased the results.

I really wanted to speak about my use of chastity and his speaking opened it up for me. I told this group of 30 men that I was using a chastity device to help myself achieve the same goal. Believe me when I tell you, I was nervous. I spoke about my desire for sex and my wife's not being in synch and saw knowing nods. I spoke about my long refractory period and saw more knowing nods. I regret that I didn't tell the group that if anyone wanted to talk to me after that we welcome to. I would have liked talking about my experiences in more detail that I did in the group but I was very happy with myself for having spoken up in the group.

I also started to question why I wear a device instead of using the self control that the other man had described. It didn't take me long to answer myself: I don't have as much self control as he does. Before I went on my weekend I showered and washed myself without my device. After the shower I used lotion. It felt really good, I got hard, and I mindlessly masturbated. This was the first time I did that since I started using a chastity device, this past April, and I was disappointed in myself. So that was my answer: I need it.
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