Sublimation?

[fuzzydunlop]

My wife's attitude on orgasm denial (OD) can range from it being hot in the moment, to fun, to relief, to "meh" if I am feeling too needy and life is getting in the way.

A few times he OD has lasted close to 50 days, but that has been rare. I've experience the full rolled coaster, from feeling "high", good frustration, bad frustration, to a little bored. Some of the sex at the end of stretches has been red hot and felt totally worth it, but there is an obvious hang over afterwards.

Has anyone had success "sublimating" their sexual energy in such a way/balance, that the energy remains high, but you aren't bored or needy? Maybe you transform the energy into creativity, exercise, career goals, or other relationship goals. I don't want the "kink" part to go away totally, but when my wife "gives in" I don't want it to be because I wore her down with neediness. And I don't want her to think I am self obsessed or stingy either. Hmmm.

[braddogg4345]

My KH and i use chastity as part of our FLR. I usually channel my energy into doing chores around the house. I also work out more now than i used to. Its another way to take my mind off of things.

[Finn]

I wish I was better at it myself. There's some Tantric stuff that talks about different chakra's, and moving energy around. I find for myself, that I have more energy now that I don't masturbate anymore, but the frustration is difficult for sure. The trick is to stay focused, but at the same time, my keyholder likes when I suffer, so it's a catch 22 in a way. We began all of this by practising Kareeza, and the idea that you need to remove orgasm as the goal. That helps somewhat. Right now, I'm just trying to get a grip on accepting denial, and focusing on giving pleasure as my source of pleasure.