jailbird on...next step???

[mellykh]

We just received a jailbird. Husband says it's very comfortable. Up til now, the longest between releases has only been four days (we only started chastity less than 8 wks ago!). Just wondering what kind of release/unlock schedule should be tried, now that we have a good device?
Any tips will be appreciated.
thanks,
mellykh,
the new keyholder

[wishful4]

Hi mellykh,

Everyone's relationship is different. But, as the Keyholder, you have to decide how you want to incorporate it into your own situation. I think MC has tremendous potential to make a good relationship, sexual and otherwise, even better. For us, it keeps me from having "sex" (self pleasuring) without her. With her as the sole source of my sexual pleasure, the longer I'm locked, I tend to be more attentive to her needs and focus on her more overall in the hope that she will want to have sex. Yes, I know we should be doing that anyway, but if males can masturbate anytime we want, we don't focus on our spouses like we should. It's just the nature of the beast.

We are also in a new FLR, as well, and male chastity tends to complement my submissiveness. The longer I'm locked, the more obedient and submissive I become. Bottom line is that you have to decide what you want out of it because MC is about you and your needs come first. Then, use the chastity device as a tool to achieve those goals and make your relationship closer and stronger as a result.

[Aarkey]

Hi mellykh, welcome to the forum. I'm a strong believer that there is no "should" about chastity. I encourage you to explore and try different things. Communicate with your husband, find out what his dreams and fantasies are - but be sure to keep your feet grounded in reality and IMO, most importantly, find what works for you.

Some men can go for very long periods in chastity without having significant blue ball pain. It usually depends on their age, and how active they are - but it varies a good bit from person to person.

Finding the right lubrications and lotions to use to keep the skin healthy, sleeping in lockup... it can also vary quite a bit from one person to another. I know that I can do 3-4 days without any issues at all, once I reach to around 7-10 days (my longest is 28 days) I start to get significant blue ball pain and without some form or release (prostate milking or ruined orgasms) I can't go too much further.

Have fun with it, and explore what works for you!

One additional note, my g/f had me start a journal to help her understand my mindset better with what's going on. It was a great help in the early part of our relationship.

[Tom Allen]

Just wondering what kind of release/unlock schedule should be tried, now that we have a good device?

I"m sure that you'll have a number of people offering up scheduling suggestions, so let offer up an *anti*-scheduling suggestion.

Mrs. Edge decided against using any type of schedule, nor does she use random events (lotto drawings, dice, etc.) or even a point/demerit system. It's her belief that those remove her control. If we had a release date scheduled for Saturday, and she's tired or not in the mood, then she would either feel obligated to do so (and wouldn't enjoy it) or she'd make me wait (and I wouldn't enjoy it). So, the way we worked it out is that she decides. It could be a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. It could be a month, then a week later, then three months. The point is that the *entire* control went over to her.

I realize that this is a bit much to just jump into, and not everyone is comfortable with such an arrangement. I'm not even suggesting that you should do this; this is just another way to look at it, and you might want to give it some consideration.

That said, Sarah Jameson one had a good idea, in that you ask your husband how long he thinks he could stand. Then you add 50% to that, but don't tell him. After a few sets of that, he might figure it out, but by then you'd have a good idea of just how long he could *really* go for.

[ME's_hubby]

Hi
Make sure to communicate. We experienced some ups and downs when starting out. I got quite emotional feeling rejected during periods when my wife had low libido and also when everyday life kind of got in the way... In retrospect it feels a bit silly really, but then and there i truly felt alone, opening up to her made all the difference. Communicate, don't rush it and most importantly make sure to have fun!

Edit: About the time scheduling... don't worry you will find out what works for you!

[SunLocked]

If we had a release date scheduled for Saturday, and she's tired or not in the mood, then she would either feel obligated to do so (and wouldn't enjoy it) or she'd make me wait (and I wouldn't enjoy it). So, the way we worked it out is that she decides. It could be a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. It could be a month, then a week later, then three months. The point is that the *entire* control went over to her.

Same here. We agreed that it is fully up to my wife. But I also made sure she knew that for my own sake it could be rather longer than shorter. So she really should not feel obliged to give me an orgasm after x days/weeks/months - but if she wants she can have it any time.

[mellykh]

Thanks for the responses. You have given me some good ideas, keep them coming...
I think I will try 2 weeks til his next release and see when I start reaping the benefits!
mellykh
keyholder

[TwistedMister]

Thanks for the responses. You have given me some good ideas, keep them coming...
I think I will try 2 weeks til his next release and see when I start reaping the benefits!
mellykh
keyholder

You have to sow before you can reap. What 'benefits' are you looking for?

[mellykh]

Wow! Thanks for responses and advice. We are so new to this that I guess I was really looking for the guidance. I usually have very low libido and am too often content with minimal attention. He wants to give me an 'O' EVERY DAY. I really have to work on accepting all the sexual attention he needs to give me, I don't easily relax.
We will keep working towards the two week release date. Currently he's been on strict lockdown for four and a half days, and really needs playtime. I'm still working towards a kinder, gentler partner. I'm going to 'teach' him how to run the washer/dryer TODAY!
mellykh

[KeyheldHubby]

Like Tom, Mrs. KHH and I do not adhere to any kind of schedule at all.

My releases are completely controlled by Mrs. KHH's whimsy. When she wants me unlocked, she'll unlock me. And not a minute before.

Nothing "mean" about it at all, we're just of the philosophy that I have voluntarily ceded control to her, and she's been willing to take that control - but on her terms.

- Begging and pleading? Useless.
- Negotiating? Not a chance.
- Flowers and doing things for her? Nope.
- Going down on her more often? No help there either, and I love it anyhow so I would just be punishing myself if I didn't.

Maybe these things influence her decisionmaking, but I've never seen any correlation.

When Mama's horny and wants to unlock me, or when she wants to unlock me to tease me, she does. Otherwise - unless I'm on a business trip - I remain safely locked up.

Enjoy!

It's a mind-expanding journey you're embarking on no matter HOW you choose to do it...