chastityslave22 wrote:Does it influence the way you look at yourseld, your sexual feelings, your behaviour?
It certainly does- I'm not normally the 'submissive' type, quite the opposite in fact. But, when I'm locked and the Mistress is 'in control', things change.
The longer I am locked and deprived of orgasm, and the 'hornier' I get, the kinkier my thoughts become. I also become more willing (or less unwilling) to participate in sexual/fetish activities in which I would not normally participate of my own free will, or which would not normally be erotic [for me] if I were not forced
to participate in them. Being locked and denied orgasm for long periods causes me [to become more likely to agree] to participate in [unusual] activities to increase the chances that I will be rewarded with orgasm, or if orgasm is directly conditional on such participation; and it decreases the amount of direct force required to compel me to participate in activities that I otherwise would not.
I have also found that behavioral changes 'spill over' into more mundane areas of life. I become more deferential and less argumentative. I'm not normally one who displays a great deal of emotion or affection, this too changes somewhat (induced psychological regression to the 'chase phase' of a relationship). Although our 'arrangement' is only supposed to apply to sexual activities and certain 'personal services', I have found that I am more likely to respond favorably to other requests as well.
(I suppose it should be noted that I'm not into simple 'role-playing' in the 'let's pretend' sort of way- I prefer realism. It is forced
control and 'consensual non-consent' that trip my erotic trigger. To that end, we have developed certain special rules to compensate for my superior physical strength and [normally] stubborn character. These rules cede to her true power and control; entitle her to take drastic actions [that some here might consider to be extreme], and apply punishments/penalties that are non-erotic, and/or that ignore or exceed my [usual] hard limits, and/or are particularly painful or otherwise unpleasant. These are designed to be such that I will most certainly not 'enjoy' them [in spite of my somewhat masochistic tendencies] and that I truly wish to avoid.)
10/06/13 Interrupted pleasuring her, stimulated thru the cage. I erupted, she directed it on her pussy. Not completely ruined but not complete. "Clean it up." Desire gone, I did it under threat. "You're lucky it's not someone else's."