She Won't Go Back

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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Tom Allen » Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:16 am

Dev wrote:As everyone knows, I am a big proponent of daily conversations.


Interestingly, Mrs. Edge is not a relationship talker. That is, unlike some of the women I've dated who just *had* to wake you up at 2 in the morning to ask things like "So, where do you think this is going?", my wife will talk about everything else before you can get her to talk about the state of the relationship.

We had a period in which I wanted to talk about how it was making me feel, and she simply got tired of hearing about it. It took a while to resolve this, and even now (some years later) I still find myself hesitant to talk "too much (fsv of "too") when we're playing.
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Dev » Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:27 am

Interestingly, Mrs. Edge is not a relationship talker. That is, unlike some of the women I've dated who just *had* to wake you up at 2 in the morning to ask things like "So, where do you think this is going?", my wife will talk about everything else before you can get her to talk about the state of the relationship.


Maybe that's why you married her... ;)
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby eido » Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:53 pm

This idea of "She won't go back" seems to be on the verge of a chastity myth. Where does one become the other?
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Dev » Sat Dec 25, 2010 7:13 pm

Hi eido, welcome...

I understand what you mean about "she won't go back" as a myth. I guess the way I look at it is that I won't go back to the "old" way of having sex, that is, five minutes of rub-rub and then poke-poke and calling it good. In fact, just a bit ago my husband did get to have intercourse with an orgasm (his first since Nov 26, let's call it a Christmas present!) but before we got to that point we had lots and lots of pleasuring me. In the "old" way that would have been foreplay and I guess that today, it was (since we ended with traditional intercourse) but we've taken foreplay to a higher level. In that respect, I'm *not* going back, even if he stops wearing a device (which I don't have any intent on that happening, either!).

D
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Celtic Queen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:32 am

eido wrote:This idea of "She won't go back" seems to be on the verge of a chastity myth. Where does one become the other?


It becomes the myth when it veers into the usual fantasy rubbish rather than a statement of fact - which is what the comment was.
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby eido » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:42 pm

Dev and Celtic Queen, your replies shed light on the question of the border between fantasy and reality, but at the same time, you throw a little gas on the fire.

Dev clarifies what 'not going back' means to her, and then ends the post by saying that she really has no intentions of seeing her husband out of the device.

CQ is more direct, making the difference between fantasy and reality sound axiomatic. But in another post, she ventures into a little fantasy of her own regarding how things would be if she ruled the world. Statements like that are what make an outsider like me wonder if I've fallen down the rabbit hole or what. And those sorts of half joking sentiments seem very common on the topic of chastity.

Food for my thoughts, anyway.
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby mikecb » Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:04 pm

eido wrote: Statements like that are what make an outsider like me wonder if I've fallen down the rabbit hole or what. And those sorts of half joking sentiments seem very common on the topic of chastity.

Food for my thoughts, anyway.
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Eido,

I think you're absolutely right that, on the topic of chastity, it's a chore to sort out people speaking of their fantasies vs reality. I think you'll find people on this site to be pretty genuine, though.

My mantra in my blog as been "don't believe all the crap you read out there". That said, there are definitely people living lives that many of us would think are fantasy fodder.

So, what do you do? You pick and choose. Make your own reality. There are no two couples engaged in chastity play in exactly the same way. Look at what's out there. Take what you like. Leave the rest. Have fun.

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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Dev » Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:59 pm

Dev clarifies what 'not going back' means to her, and then ends the post by saying that she really has no intentions of seeing her husband out of the device.


I don't mean that literally, of course. If you read my blog, you know that Ab and I have reached an agreement where he has access to the key (or screwdriver) and is allowed a daily break for bathing and a nap. So he's out of the device for a least a little while every day.

My comment was more along the lines of: if he said he didn't want to "play" anymore and wanted to put his device away in a drawer--I'd definitely have a talk with him about that and would do my best to persuade him otherwise.

D
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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby Atone » Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:37 pm

mikecb wrote:My mantra in my blog as been "don't believe all the crap you read out there". That said, there are definitely people living lives that many of us would think are fantasy fodder.

That is good advice but can be difficult to digest. There are an amazing number of things that I live in my life today that I was convinced were just fantasy fodder when I was first introduced to them a long time ago (Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet). To make it more difficult most of it *is* just fantasy fodder even though there are some out there living it 24/7.

In addition to "fantasy", and "24/7 reality" there are a lot of people that really "live" some of the things that they write about but only in the context of "a scene" that may last an hour or two, or maybe a weekend at a time. This can be some of the more confusing literature out there because it is real and is presented as real (because it is) but the qualifiers are left out.

Back to the original topic, like others have said we won't go back to the way it was. We might not keep doing this but the way it was is no longer acceptable for either one of us. Once you have been enlightened you can't be un-enleghtened.

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Re: She Won't Go Back

Postby eido » Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:19 am

Dev wrote:My comment was more along the lines of: if he said he didn't want to "play" anymore and wanted to put his device away in a drawer--I'd definitely have a talk with him about that and would do my best to persuade him otherwise.
D


I was not implying you would do something sinister, Dev. I'm sorry that I left that impression. The way I read it was more matter of fact. As though you were stating what might happen if your husband announced he was going to stop taking some important medicine.

And I agree that there is a vast gulf between fantasy rubbish and the mainstream practice. It is the boundary that I find most interesting. The slippery slope may be a logical fallacy in a debate, but it makes a pretty good model of human behavior.

I could natter on at length about this, but I think I should return to lurking now.
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