After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

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After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby davidphd1866 » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:59 pm

Dear Esteemed Forum Members,

As some of you might recall, I began a year long chastity journey at the end of October. (Last orgasm on Oct. 31st, as suggested by one of our best known members.) I'd just like to give a few bullet points as an update. I have learned a lot.

1. The end of February will be four months.
2. I have been orgasm-free, but the semen sort of just runs out a bit from time to time.
3. I simply get "tired" of wearing the CB. I go about one week in, one week out.
4. My wife is too afraid (unwilling, etc.) to tease me or stroke me for fear of me cumming.
5. I still provide her with orgasms about twice a week. And she loves them.
6. Like some of you have warned, there seems to be a line where chastity becomes celibacy.
7. I have now witnessed several horniness cycles and they seem to related to wife's ovulation.
8. I now see why the Tom Allans of the group (et al) no longer focus on a "number".
9. Our wife and I get along splendidly. The chastity certainly hasn't hurt our relationship.
10. My wife has become 100% happy with me being chaste.
11. When asked, she expressed no interest in ending the chastity period or chastity itself.
12. I have come to the point of asking, "Why any longer? What will be gained or learned?"

I am happy to answer anyone's questions about the experience, but want to keep such a post brief as you can see how many tangents can be taken here.

Thank you all for your continued support.

David
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Re: After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby Tom Allen » Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:22 pm

Just some thoughts. I organized this according to what I see are themes.

davidphd1866 wrote:1. The end of February will be four months.
2. I have been orgasm-free, but the semen sort of just runs out a bit from time to time.
3. I simply get "tired" of wearing the CB. I go about one week in, one week out.
7. I have now witnessed several horniness cycles and they seem to related to wife's ovulation.


So now you're getting into the reality of long term denial, and discovering that it may not be what you thought. That's okay, though, because sometimes just the experience itself is worth it, after you've finished and had a chance to reflect and digest.


9. Our wife and I get along splendidly. The chastity certainly hasn't hurt our relationship.
5. I still provide her with orgasms about twice a week. And she loves them.
10. My wife has become 100% happy with me being chaste.
4. My wife is too afraid (unwilling, etc.) to tease me or stroke me for fear of me cumming.
11. When asked, she expressed no interest in ending the chastity period or chastity itself.


Does this mean that you no longer have intercourse? I know all women are different, but some women might have a problem with that. Or not. Mrs. Edge would, which is why we use the strapon.

Glad to see that things are good, intimacy wise. Are things improving at all for you?

Also, what does your wife think about this so far? That is, what is she getting out of it that makes her willing to keep going?

6. Like some of you have warned, there seems to be a line where chastity becomes celibacy.
12. I have come to the point of asking, "Why any longer? What will be gained or learned?"
8. I now see why the Tom Allans of the group (et al) no longer focus on a "number".


Bingo.

Wait, let me expound. When you're new at this, it's all so exciting, and it's a natural thing to try for a new record of some sort, and you're *always* keeping track of things. How long since coming, how long in the cage, how many times having sex without release, etc., etc. That's perfectly normal - you're learnign something new.

But eventually you stop learning the new, superficial things, and it begins to change your perspective in unanticipated ways. For example, I used to be a casual bicyclist, then a few years ago I started riding more seriously. I went from 5 miles, to 8, to 10, to 15, to... and somewhere in there I stopped counting the miles except as they related to calories burned. I started biking on errands, to meetings, and to wherever it was convenient. I'm more aware of towns with bike lanes, I'm more health-conscious, and every trip I take I keep an eye toward whether or not I could have made it on two wheels.

And again, chastity is not a journey, it's just a way to help build intimacy with your partner via some unconventional means. Just enjoy it for what it is, for what's happening, and screw the numbers.
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Re: After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby prthomas » Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:35 pm

As to item #4, is she afraid because it is something she wants, or something you want?
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Re: After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby Locked by LRC » Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:43 pm

A response to your title. If you are planning on going a year without orgasm then I would call that celibacy. If you are just planning on wearing a device for a year, with approved orgasms, then it would be chastiy. I would have to agree with one of the other members phrase "I want chastity not celibacy".

Commiting to a year of celibacy isn't something for me but if it's what you wanted, I admire your devotion to your KH.
Current device - MM Custom
Previous devices - CB2000, 3000, 6000, 6000s, Curve
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Re: After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby Tom Allen » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:24 pm

Locked by LRC wrote:A response to your title. If you are planning on going a year without orgasm then I would call that celibacy. If you are just planning on wearing a device for a year, with approved orgasms, then it would be chastiy. I would have to agree with one of the other members phrase "I want chastity not celibacy".


I have to disagree with your disagreement. :)

They obviously are having a good relationship, they *are* having sex, and they are both enjoying it. Chastity, i.e., denial, isn't the same as celibacy. The sig you quote IIRC comes from mikecbw, who implies that the denial is find, but he wants a continued relationship with intimacy.

When Mrs. Edge and I go for longer terms, I certainly don't feel celibate as long as we continue to be intimate.
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Re: After 4 months: Chastity or celibacy?

Postby davidphd1866 » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:28 am

Tom and Thomas,

It's difficult to reply to all of your great points because the screen blanks out your comments while I type....

But, Thomas, I think #4 is something she now wants. It's crazy, but I think my wife would be far more disappointed in me cumming than I would. (this is in that "be careful what you wish for" category.)

Tom A.: I can only summarize your excellent points by saying, that I could UNDERSTAND what you said for months (or years) in the abstract. Now that I have done a sufficiently long chastity stint, I can say that I APPRECIATE what you have said for these lo so many months.

My wife and I (appear) to no longer have intercourse. She appears to be quite comfortable and settled into a routine where I pleasure her with my fingers and "that is that, said the Cat in the Hat". Yet, we are together intimately quite often and our marriage seems to have an easy-going harmony that exceeeds anything we experienced before. We try to have an unbiased and open conversation about things--and we both exclaim that things are great. However, it is so difficult to judge oneself. Maybe the best judge is what I overhear my wife say to her friends on the phone. She seems happier than ever when she talks to them. (Let's face it, women tell all!)

I wish I could properly describe the feelings I have and what it all means. I can only say that now I no longer feel that chastity is a "mountain to climb" and, rather, something to be savored. I now think of male chastity more like enjoying a bottle of fine wine: the goal isn't to finish it. The point is to enjoy it.

Again, I will be happy to answer any specifics. I hope I did Tom and Thomas' questions justice.

David
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