Only 20 days!?!!

[hot_toddy_dog]

My KH told me over the weekend that I might be waiting until my next milestone birthday, that's 6 years away! I took her comment with a pinch of salt, however I was unnerved by her smile and the glint in her eye. Don't you just love the numbers game.

What is a "milestone birthday"?

This sounds not unlike my current plan - very long term chastity on the instalment plan. First it is 2 years, then if I want to continue, another 3, then another 3, then 2, then 2... I have no idea why but the intervals of 5 years, 8 years, 10 years, and 12 years without orgasm just hold so much appeal for me, but they are far too much to commit to right up front. Haven't much planned where to go after that, I've got 12 years to figure that out!!!

Pretty sure I will go back to being orgasmic some time in the future, but right now, looking to take at least a decade off, and for some reason 12 years sounds more satisfying than 10.

[Whizbang]

Any one else have any thoughts about this number game?

Yes. Stop counting.

[Whizbang]

I have voiced my wants but when she says cum, I cum.

This resonates with my practice. I love being locked up, but I absolutely love pleasing my partner. Post-chastity, I've become completely cognizant and been pretty frank about the post-orgasm doldrums that apparently were the issue in my sex life for most of my life, so my partner gets to be in the driver's seat now and compute the calculus for short-term gratification versus a subsequent period of lowered interest.

IMO, it's not fair at all, but who said biology was fair?

[Atone]

Any one else have any thoughts about this number game?

Yes. Stop counting.

I agree although easier said than done. At least for some of us. I don't count any more but I do keep track. If I want to know how long I have to go look it up.

[Finn]

In terms of preventing the post orgasm doldrums, we've had really good luck with ruined orgasms. Specifically using the pc muscle to prevent and stop ejaculation. With me, if I hold the muscle tight, as I go past the tipping point, then squeeze it tighter, I can surpress *most* of the orgasm and all or some of the ejaculation. What our long term plan is, going forward, is to have Cherry edge me and I'll do the Tantric pc muscle thing. If enough semen leaks out without getting near orgasm, then we leave it at that, if I hit the point of no return, I'll surpress it, but allow some semen leakage. Hopefully, this will keep the plumbing in working order, and give her the reward she enjoys.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Hi Finn,

just curious when you do have to do a total surpression of ejaculate, do you leak out the ejaculate later (like anywhere from 5-20 minutes afterwards). This can happen to me inside the belt if I have an "almost-gasm" where I back off from the edge in time. I only get the post-orgasm doldrums when there is indeed that big surge into a full-blown orgasm. I used to worry about leaking ejaculate or having partial ejaculation contractions, but I found that despite what I read in tantric materials, actually those didn't leave me in the doldrums at all. Supposedly leaking the bindu will lessen your ability to send semen shooting into your brain, and thus, reaching higher levels of consciousness. Since that is not biologically possible (no duct exists from the bladder to your brain), I'm not going to worry about it.

Also, every tantra practitioner I've had the chance to question about it eventually takes the apologist stance that what is really happening here is retrograde ejaculation, and the semen comes out later anyway. I think what is actually most important is the supression of the orgasm, not the other way around.

[Finn]

Assuming I hold the muscle contracted through the attempted ejaculation and wait for 20 seconds or so after the last minor twitches, then no, I've never had anything come out later or in the urine. Maybe a bit of pre-cum, once everythings gone soft, but no semen. If I relax after the main contractions, but while the minor ones are going on, then yes, usually something travels up the urethra and leaks out. If I stop after the first few strong contractions, then I will either have an orgamless ejaculation, or a major leakage with some pumping of fluids.

[Anymouse]

There is an interesting mindset change when you've done this before. My wife and I have been playing with denial for the past year or so. I am currently on day 21 out of who knows how many days without relief. This is my third longest time. I have gone 38 days and 74 days in the past.

Last night while playing, my wife commented that it had only been 20 days, implying that a) I shouldn't be that horny b) I had a long way to go and c) 20 days so far really wasn't that much. I remember when the idea of going a week was a super long time and now her plan for me right now might be for me to wait until my birthday which is in another 146 days.

I'm not sure I can make that, especially with how horny I've been these last 20 days. I think 20 days is a fairly long time, but also agree think that since I've gone a lot longer, it almost deminishes the current string. It's like it's no big deal until I get my new record. I also wonder what happens after that. Will a year be long enough?

Any one else have any thoughts about this number game?

I don't know about the number game, but I will make an observation.

If you've never seriously considered a chaste lifestyle before, then twenty days is quite an achievement. "Only" twenty days is not the way to look at it, that is a milestone, not a "mere" achievement.

I am at one hundred ten days now. I had to go through twenty to get here. So did Miss BethK.

Regardless of whether you both intend to go fifty, one hundred, one thousand, or forever you have to get to twenty first, then the next twenty, and twenty twenties, and so on.

So twenty days is a positive development, not a "just twenty days." - James

[hot_toddy_dog]

Yes, but in the original poster's context, having gone over 3x longer than 20 days before, "Only 20 days" is quite appropriate.

Cannot believe I am at only 40 days here. Over 700 days to go...