What did you find most difficult to get your partner to do?

[Snot]

After getting your partner to lock you up what did you have the most trouble getting them to do to make your chastity experience as enjoyable as possible?

It's very important to have clear and open communication to make sure everyone is in agreement.

For me I had a hell of a time getting my wife to tease out side of our sexual encounters. She's never been in the habbit of feeling me up randomly throughout the day and wasn't comfortable doing it at first. I had to do some bargaining to get her to agree to being more of a flirt/tease and even after that she had some trouble with it.

It's still a work in progress for sure but she's really trying to make me happy.

What about you? Anything that you've had a bitch of a time getting your KH to do for you?

[MsBehavin]

I say this with respect... but your post comes across a little "me, me, me".

So what do you do to make it hot and interesting for HER? Is she 'into' it or is she really just doing this to appease you without understanding why or it being a turn on for her?

Has she seen this forum? She could always sign up as a key holder... and maybe she would find her OWN way of enjoying your being locked.

A word of warning though... you MAY just get what you want... and then some!

...OR she may never really get it and end up feeling you're being critical of her and lose confidence as you try to bend her to fit the image of your fantasy.

[Snot]

Seriously? I think you're reading a lot deeper into the question than I intended the discussion to go. I meant this topic to be about sharing some of the difficulties couples run into while figuring out how to make chastity fit into their lives. I've just recently joined the community to meet others that practice chastity. I want to share real world experiences. I hope to make some friends that I can both learn from and teach about chastity.

I say this with respect... but there isn't really a way to highjack a thread respectfully. It's normally considered bad etiquette at best or trolling. Since this is my first real post I was trying to break the ice a little before sharing about how I pleasure my wife. I don’t really appreciate your questions as they seem to be aimed at turning the topic off of its intended course and putting me on the spot. I don’t think that’s a great way to welcome new members to the community. So please don’t be offended if I decline to answer them just now. I do intend to share how my relationship works and I truly hope you’ll give me your thoughts and ideas when I get there but it won’t be in this thread.

I hope this is just a bad first impression and that we can become friends in the future but please don't highjack my shit again. You messed up my whole post =(

[Tom Allen]

Would somebody grab that popcorn maker for me? Thanks.

[wishful4]

I hope this is just a bad first impression and that we can become friends in the future but please don't highjack my shit again. You messed up my whole post =(

Snot,

No need to stomp on anyone here, especially our keyholders. One of the hardest things is to convince a perspective KH is that male chastity is about her and what she wants. It is a very hard thing for the ladies to get their arms around and fully understand.

MsBehavin was just trying to tell you in a nice way that your post gave the impression that you feel MC is all about you and what your Keyholder can do for you. You are correct in that communication is a very important thing. Maybe THE most important thing. Your spouse/SO is doing this, most likely, because it is something you said you wanted. She may not fully understand it but she knows it turns you on. It will be much more rewarding in the long haul for you and her if she understands there is something in this for both of you.

Welcome to the forum and we look forward to hearing about your experiences.

[Whizbang]

No need to stomp on anyone here, especially our keyholders. One of the hardest things to convince a perspective KH is that male chastity is about her and what she wants.

Lemme add some butter to Tom's popcorn.

In my relationship, it's certainly about me. But it's also about us.

Out of chastity, I -always- had the lower libido. If he made lots of advances, this was bad for me: I'm not in the mood--what's wrong with me? If he made advances and I rejected him: He's not in the mood--he must not like me.

Now things are reversed. I'm the handsey one--at least after a week or so. Now, I can get annoying or too demanding for him, in fact. That's a nice role reversal.

I'M happer than ever. He says "I'm want you to be happy, but you know that's the chastity talking." I'm like "Duh, but this is just calibrating our libidos--I go into long doldrums and now you are in control. This just means that I always ready physically express how I emotionally feel about you."

So, hell, yah, this is about me, but it's really more about us.

[Snot]

I hope this is just a bad first impression and that we can become friends in the future but please don't highjack my shit again. You messed up my whole post =(

Snot,

No need to stomp on anyone here, especially our keyholders. One of the hardest things is to convince a perspective KH is that male chastity is about her and what she wants. It is a very hard thing for the ladies to get their arms around and fully understand.

MsBehavin was just trying to tell you in a nice way that your post gave the impression that you feel MC is all about you and what your Keyholder can do for you. You are correct in that communication is a very important thing. Maybe THE most important thing. Your spouse/SO is doing this, most likely, because it is something you said you wanted. She may not fully understand it but she knows it turns you on. It will be much more rewarding in the long haul for you and her if she understands there is something in this for both of you.

Welcome to the forum and we look forward to hearing about your experiences.

Well this is awkward. I didn't realize I was responding to someone that was probably new to online communities and didn't know they were hijacking a thread. If you were just trying to be helpful I genuinely apologize to you MsBehavin. It must have just been a coincidence that your post came off sounding like, me expecting chastity to also be enjoyable to the man was a bad thing. I guess I've spent to much time on those forums where its popular for the guy to pretend his wife forces him to dress like a chick and that his body is only used for her pleasure.

Another reason that I slammed you so hard about it was because you really hit close to home in many ways. I struggle a lot with making chastity fun and enjoyable for her but we have a very unique way of doing male chastity. I'm sure it's not in the same scenario you're thinking but even so it struck a nerve because I want to become better at fulfilling her fantasies too. I was over aggressive in making you look bad and I'm sorry.

I'll be making a post that tells the story of my experience with chastity soon and I hope you'll chime in. Be warned it's way out of the norm but there are things I could really use some advice about.

In short to answer your questions. I do many things to make it hot and interesting for her. She's totally not turned on by chastity and only does it to appease me. I don't think she's ever talk with anyone else who has an interest in chastity but it's damn near impossible to find a community about chastity that isn't centered around female dominance/male submission. I've thought about inviting her to another community I'm a member of but I don't want to surround her with horny guys beating off to eating their own cum and taking a dick while their wife bangs her boss. Milo is a awesome place and there are a lot of cool people but it doesn't fit our style of chastity play. Will I invite her here? Maybe, it depends on how well I think we would fit in but I doubt she'd be all that interested.

So... back to talking about difficulties... oh forget it lol

I'm totally fine with pretending this topic never happened.

[mrfelix]

I have found out that my KH likes to fondle my balls from behind. She pushes me over and grabs me from behind a few times a day. But I totally enjoy this. I will shift my weight around and twist my body to be more accommodating to Her.
What I would like her to do that She seems to have a hard time doing, is keeping me locked up for longer periods of time before release. We are at our longest period right now. 17 days and counting. In the past it is usually 7 to 10 days. I would like to go for a month or more. She still feels some guilt about all the attention and orgasms being focused on Her. After 30 plus years of it the other way around, it's a hard adjustment to make. Lots of reassurance from me that Her orgasms are my orgasms helps, but She still tries to give me a orgasms before I think I need them. I have told Her what I think about the situation, but the bottom line is She decides when and if I cum. This life style is still new to us and we are both loving the learning process.

[locked4her55]

Will I invite her here? Maybe, it depends on how well I think we would fit in but I doubt she'd be all that interested.

I would have to say the most difficult thing I was able to have my wife do was to participate on the KH's Forum. She's not into kink and when we started this CD journey back 2 1/2 years ago I know she was more than a little concerned as to where this was going. For 20 years regarding our sexual relationship it was pretty much all about me. I know now I was wrong and have changed my ways. She has noticed the difference and when I asked if she would participate on the KH's Forum she was hesitant. It took a little time but now she (keeperof55) will sit with her laptop on while we watch TV and respond and relate some of our experiences on the Forum from the KH's perspective. She isn't on as much as I am but it does make me feel good that she has taken this step to help better understand this MC thingy

[Snot]

What I would like her to do that She seems to have a hard time doing, is keeping me locked up for longer periods of time before release.

I'm right there with you! It's awesome that you're enjoying the learning process! I totally got off to a bad start by trying to get her to keep me locked up for longer than she wanted to.

It's not totally my fault because most of the crap on line says it's good to start off around 3 - 6 months or even up to a year if he guys an ass. I pushed for a year out of the gate and in retrospect wish I hadn't. I think it took a lot of the fun out of it for her just because I was willing to be locked up longer than she wanted to keep me locked. I'm a little thick sometimes and it took a while to figure out that she needed time to become comfortable keeping me locked up.

I've probably made about every mistake you can but at the time we were only having sex maybe once a month and both agreed we should take it slow at first but I was thinking slow was going for a few months and she was thinking more along the lines of a few weeks.

Eventually I smartened up and we started doing it as long as she wanted to and it's been going pretty awesome ever since. We've still had plenty of bumps on the road but most of them I can attribute to crap I've read online that made me think I was doing her a favor for letting her lock me up.

Was a big eye opener when I found out that wasn't the case but it did motivate me to find out what women really like about chastity and in particular my wife.