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Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:39 am
by poor
There was a site (and a book) a few years ago that was more less exactly as the OP describes. Using OD as the lever to get the job done and hinting at chastity if required. If memory serves it was: 'Around Her Finger' by Ken Addison.
I purchased the book and was disappointed because the amount of material available on the blog that was up was far ahead of the printed copy.
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:53 pm
by maryelisabeth
Anymouse, I am new to this forum (and quite new to the chaste life-style) and I was very happy to find your post! When my husband first introduced the idea of MC to me I got a bit scared and thought I had to turn into a hard-core dominatrix... But that is just not me. Luckily, my husband quickly assured me that MC does not have to be about that. That every couple has to decide what works for them. We had been into T&D for a while, before even talking about MC, and that has evolved quite a lot now since we both really like that. And now we have ordered a chastity device. But we definitely fall into the vanilla-category!
We have always had a very loving and close relationship (together for 12y and married for 5), but now we are like teenagers again! Or at least my husband
and I really enjoy the attention... So there are vanilla couples out there
But as has been mentioned on this thread; perhaps you get a bit more “kinky” the longer you live the chaste life-style...? But then again, what is “more kinky”? All is relative I guess...
Now I will try to read your blog
/ME
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:05 pm
by Atone
maryelisabeth wrote:Anymouse, I am new to this forum (and quite new to the chaste life-style) and I was very happy to find your post!
Welcome to the forum maryelisabeth. That is a beautiful name.
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:10 pm
by RegularJoe
maryelisabeth wrote:Anymouse, I am new to this forum (and quite new to the chaste life-style) and I was very happy to find your post! When my husband first introduced the idea of MC to me I got a bit scared and thought I had to turn into a hard-core dominatrix... But that is just not me. Luckily, my husband quickly assured me that MC does not have to be about that. That every couple has to decide what works for them. We had been into T&D for a while, before even talking about MC, and that has evolved quite a lot now since we both really like that. And now we have ordered a chastity device. But we definitely fall into the vanilla-category!
We have always had a very loving and close relationship (together for 12y and married for 5), but now we are like teenagers again! Or at least my husband
and I really enjoy the attention... So there are vanilla couples out there
But as has been mentioned on this thread; perhaps you get a bit more “kinky” the longer you live the chaste life-style...? But then again, what is “more kinky”? All is relative I guess...
Now I will try to read your blog
/ME
Been married to the same wonderful lady for over 40 years.....'kink' keeps a relationship fresh. Besides, as they say, "it's only kinky the first time".
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:31 am
by RegularJoe
My wife definitely evolved into a far more dominant sexual role in our relationship....there was a time when she'd be on her knees while I forcefully pleasured myself with her mouth.....she's long since decided that that's where a man should be...on his knees, while she enjoys roughly riding my face. In fact, when she sees a porno scene with the standard 'money shot' onto a woman's face....I know I am in for some heavy feminist payback sexual domination. Of course, I'm quite happy to pay for the sins of my brothers!
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 1:11 pm
by maryelisabeth
Atone wrote:
Welcome to the forum maryelisabeth. That is a beautiful name.
Thank you and thank you
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 1:52 pm
by maryelisabeth
RegularJoe wrote:My wife definitely evolved into a far more dominant sexual role in our relationship....there was a time when she'd be on her knees while I forcefully pleasured myself with her mouth.....she's long since decided that that's where a man should be...on his knees, while she enjoys roughly riding my face. In fact, when she sees a porno scene with the standard 'money shot' onto a woman's face....I know I am in for some heavy feminist payback sexual domination. Of course, I'm quite happy to pay for the sins of my brothers!
hahaha, serves you right
It is also nice to hear you have been married for such a long time, and still keep it fresh! Very encouraging to hear...
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:18 am
by Anymouse
RegularJoe wrote:maryelisabeth wrote:Anymouse, I am new to this forum (and quite new to the chaste life-style) and I was very happy to find your post! When my husband first introduced the idea of MC to me I got a bit scared and thought I had to turn into a hard-core dominatrix... But that is just not me. Luckily, my husband quickly assured me that MC does not have to be about that. That every couple has to decide what works for them. We had been into T&D for a while, before even talking about MC, and that has evolved quite a lot now since we both really like that. And now we have ordered a chastity device. But we definitely fall into the vanilla-category!
We have always had a very loving and close relationship (together for 12y and married for 5), but now we are like teenagers again! Or at least my husband
and I really enjoy the attention... So there are vanilla couples out there
But as has been mentioned on this thread; perhaps you get a bit more “kinky” the longer you live the chaste life-style...? But then again, what is “more kinky”? All is relative I guess...
Now I will try to read your blog
/ME
Welcome to Tom's little corner of the Internet, MaryElisabeth! And thank you so for the kindly words.
Miss Beth and I have also been married for five years (we just passed our anniversary last month), though we'd met on a specialised Internet dating site the year before. The Chaste Lifestyle (tm) has added a new dimension to our fun, to be sure . . .
Been married to the same wonderful lady for over 40 years.....'kink' keeps a relationship fresh. Besides, as they say, "it's only kinky the first time".
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:03 am
by poor
IMO some of the posts here have missed the point of VFLR.
My take on it is that the sexual side is vanilla, so there won't be any costumes or 'scenes' taking place. Any punishment or control exerted by the lady is to maintain or improve her position as the person in charge of the relationship.
A chastity device or a spanking is a method to achieve this but removal of financial access, curfews, phone & pocket searches etc. are equivalent but far less 'kinked' about as they are not easily relatable to sexual activity.
I feel that you can't do FLR just when you choose. There will be bits that you dislike and you may have to give up some of your 'wants'. It is still a relationship first & foremost.
Re: Vanilla Female-Led Relationship Thread
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:15 am
by robtandhiswife
poor wrote:IMO some of the posts here have missed the point of VFLR.
My take on it is that the sexual side is vanilla, so there won't be any costumes or 'scenes' taking place. Any punishment or control exerted by the lady is to maintain or improve her position as the person in charge of the relationship.
A chastity device or a spanking is a method to achieve this but removal of financial access, curfews, phone & pocket searches etc. are equivalent but far less 'kinked' about as they are not easily relatable to sexual activity.
I feel that you can't do FLR just when you choose. There will be bits that you dislike and you may have to give up some of your 'wants'. It is still a relationship first & foremost.
We are definitely FLR and pretty vanilla in many aspects. I think your take is likely accurate. Like all relationships you figure out what works for you and your spouse.