Making Progress 2

[michaelnmelissa]

After Saturday morning Melissa and I spent the day together scrubbing the house for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful just being with her and following her instructions and working alongside her.

One of the biggest pluses of MC has been the way my eyes have been opened to just how smart, capable, and competent my wife is. As my puffed up male ego surrenders more and more to her I am finding out how much I like to follow her lead. Now, I can't say I've ever considered a wife led relationship and I'm pretty sure Melissa hasn't either. But, you know, I have to confess the idea is starting to feel good to me. And this might be the biggest surprise MC has given me. And when I look back and honestly assess our years together well, I can see that she has, more often than not, been right in her opinions and ideas. There's been many a time when I've had to say that I should have listened to her and done it her way. How humbling! She is nine years my junior. I am a college graduate while she has no college. I've been all over the world while she's barely left her hometown. And yet, she is a more capable leader in this marriage than I am. I have been wrestling with this for several weeks. I am not a passive man out in the world by any means. I have led men. And she is better at leading our marriage than I am. And I am starting to like it.

I've recently found myself asking her if she'd mind if I did this or that, which is something I never would have done before. Before I do what I'd like, I'm asking her if there's anything I can do for her first. Last night I even asked her - before I realized it - if there was anything she wanted me to do the next day. I'm not sure what she thinks about this, because she seems to be taking it all in stride. I don't know. Maybe as I'm naturally drifting this way she is too?

And then Sunday night...she kindly allowed me to edge myself over and over for some thirty minutes or so while we lay in bed watching a movie. It was highly erotic to stroke my cock and even place a finger inside myself while she stroked my chest. One time I looked over at her and saw she was into the movie. I started to tell her how hot it was for me to be so hard and close to orgasm and she hardly paying attention. I could tell she didn't want me to interrupt again so she said, "Be quiet and enjoy yourself." Soon she could tell I was so close and she made me stop and lie there until my cock went soft (it took twenty minutes).

She is such a wonderful wife!

Michael

[Dev]

As I have said in other posts, this whole FLR, WLR, FemDom stuff is language that is loaded with so much baggage. I never even heard of the terms until a few months ago but meanwhile, I've been happily living my life as the woman in charge since Ab and I went on our very first date. As Celtic Queen noted, women have been holding home and hearth together for millennia while the men ran off with their spears and clubs and did their guy things. So it's really not a new concept.

I think what happens is that we believe we're supposed to act a certain way and try to act that way, even if it's contrary to our nature. That's the point I was getting at in the other thread when I was reacting to FLR women who use tools of the patriarchy (oppression, brutality, punishment, etc) so take the reins when they suddenly realize they want to be in charge. That doesn't work at all for me and I don't get it.

The more traditional scenario is for the woman to settle into the role of "little woman" or whatever, no matter what sort of person she was beforehand. Plenty of women do this--I know them! Some are happy, many are not. I, on the other hand, never bought into that stereotype. I had to be me, the strong, confident, assertive woman I am.

I went to a woman's college. You know the old joke: everyone is there to get her MRS degree. For a lot of my classmates, that was true and by the mid-point of their freshman year, they were pinned to frat boys from the college up the hill. A few of us, however, realized there was something else out there in the world besides getting married and settling down to be a housefrau. I sometimes wonder what the deans and faculty thought of all these girls who clearly came to college for one reason only: to catch a man. That's certainly not why I was there!

D

[michaelnmelissa]

Dev,

Thanks for your thoughts.

I just never thought to feel or think this way. It's left me flustered and unsure of myself. I have no desire to submit to all women - only my wife. I like it. But then, I struggle too.

Also, there's no telling what she would say. As you said, so much baggage with the terms and idea. Still, she does seem to naturally do it. She may be quiet, gentle, and soft-spoken, but there has always been the steel in her.

I never bargained that MC would bring this!

Michael

[Celtic Queen]

Dev,

It's left me flustered and unsure of myself. I have no desire to submit to all women - only my wife.

Michael

Then you have absolutely got it right in my mind. My hub feels like that I would only ever accept submission from him. It's a precious gift that is so valued becaused he would only ever submit to me.

I think outside of the security of a relationship is where all the damage can occur in D/s relationships - there's so much potential for exploitation and painful vulnerability when this level of trust is needed to make it work. Relax into it, your wife will catch your fall. Hasn't she always and you just didn't notice before?

[michaelnmelissa]

Hi CQ,

Thank you for your advice. I am trying to relax into it like you said. I think we are naturally progressing toward her being the leader without even really talking about it (yet).

Michael