I need some convincing

[farmy]

So, I've been sleuthing the forum for some time now, and the fact that I end up reading everything on here must mean that I definately dig male chastity. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few years now (wow, seems like yesterday even) and last year I'd brought up the topic of male chastity. It scared her at first but she has slowly come back and realizes that it's not really THAT weird. The idea of MC (look I even have you're lingo down pat) is very much a turn on and the fact that I want to give her control says alot about how much we trust one another.
I discovered the idea of MC a few years ago and at first thought it was insane, but deep down was curious about it. It was one night after we had been apart for a few months (maintaining a long distance relationship) that I'd mentioned "losing the mastery of my own domain", which upset her.
Now I feel that I should mention that we have, what some would refer to as, the vanilla that started vanilla relationships. We both came into the relationship with the notion of waiting untill marriage. I hate the V-word, that is the one synonymous with a quasi successfull mobile phone company, but am reluctant to say that we are classified under this word.
Despite our devience from the normal, we are very comfortable in our "sex" life, but I believe MC could bring a completely new paradigm.
My hang-up on MC is that I'm not convinced that the pro's out-weigh the con's; that is, will the emotions and created by MC be worth the maintence of wearing a device.
If we were to purchase a device I would imagine it would be a CB-6000s. I was wondering if anyone with experience of the device could sway our opinion on the topic, on hygiene, or day to day wear of the device, does it look completely obvious? Pictures would say thousands of words.

All this was typed out in my mind weeks ago, but I finally found some courage at the bottom of a bottle to actually post it. I know I am in good company on this forum, but I still can't help feeling like everyone in the world will read this and think lesser of me. Society is messed up.

Cheers.

[Celtic Queen]

Hi Farmy, welcome and well done for getting the courage to post.

Let me start by picking you up on your comment about people thinking less of you. There was a thread on here about telling other people about a chaste lifestyle and it seemed that the general consensus was it's unlikely that people not practicing chastity would "get it" and I absolutely agree. In my marriage our chastity arrangement is our business only so what's to think less of? Who would know unless you told them? It's absolutely your own business what you do as consenting grown ups. Sod anyone else, let them make their own way in the world.

In terms of convincing you- well it sounds like you are doing the reading and hopefully the filtering so armed with all that data- it's down to you fella. You'll get sound advice here but as to convincing? Well, try it is all I can say and if it isn't working for you then you've lost nothing and gained a new experience.

[David]

Hi Farmy

Don't feel that you must use a device for MC to work. A number of us here are on the honor/honour system, wherby the man just promises not to orgasm (or not to stimulate himself at all) without his partner's specific consent. Since you seem well motivated to keep to your principles at the moment, that may work for you.

In my case, I wear a cock ring all the time, as a reminder to both of us of my commitment and her control. We find this very erotic and it doesn't have all the comfort and hygiene isues of a chastity device (but equally doesn't have the extra thrill of being locked and being physically denied access to one's penis).

Hope you find a good solution that enhances life for you both.

[justplaying]

Farmy;

I have a CB6Ks and it doesn't show very much at all. You could easily wear it with jeans if they are not too tight. As Celtic Queen mentioned earlier, if you don't tell anyone then they probably will not know. The design of the tube forces the penis down over your scrotum which makes a tight package that hangs naturally downwards.

I like being with my wife in public and having "that little secret" just between us. I also enjoy the small ritual of being locked up every morning after my shower and then unlocked whenever she likes. For us, its part of the fun. Our agreement is a bit different then others in the forum. I am allowed to take a shower and clean the gear every morning. I am brain dead before coffee, so I can be trusted in the shower...Once out I lock myself in and then my KH, wife inspects that all is locked up tight. I kind of love the way she does this every morning. When she comes home from work she will ask if I need to be unlocked or not. At night before we go to bed she moves the key up to the bedroom. This is part of her game. I don't know if she is going to unlock me for the night or not. I have come to learn that if I get a little too frisky I generally am kept in the cage all night. And then sometimes, she acts nonchalant about it saying,"The key is on the dresser if you want to let yourself out." Yet, she may follow that up with, "But don't expect any action if you do unlock yourself. I'm not kidding, cross that line and back in the cage you go." She calls it "the cage".

I don't like sleeping in the cage because every now and again I roll over the wrong way and ouch! I really prefer to be allowed out when we are together in bed (spooning is much more fun). Perhaps the steel devices are more comfortable to sleep in, I don't know....

Good luck, JP

[Dev]

Hi Farmy,

We don't think lesser of you at all. Welcome and thanks for that first, interesting post.

May I ask, how old are you and your girlfriend? And can you clarify (if you feel comfortable doing so) your comment about the V-word (I assume that means you consider yourself virgins) and your sex life. Is this a situation where you do sexual stuff but have not had intercourse? Or something else? If I understood this a little better it would help me to think where chastity will fit comfortably for you.

Thanks and again, welcome.

D

[farmy]

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. When I read through the poast afterwords it seemed to make sense but once I'd posted it I noticed I'd left out a bunch of stuff.

As for how old we are, I am 21 and my girlfriend is 22. Our sex life consists of most things but as you mentioned we abstain from vaginal intercourse. I really do not like don't like the term virgin because its meaning has been sullied with the way it is tossed around these days.

We may just discuss the idea of getting a device a bit more seriously now, because as most of you all have said, MC is what WE make up it. The big road block about this has been how noticable it will be while i wear it.

I agree with you Celtic Queen, in the end who's buisness is it? I guess if I want to lock myself up for my girlfriend and someone finds that wierd, well I guess they just don't understand.

Thanks again everyone

[mikecb]

Farmy,

Regarding how much they show, let's face it. If they were really obvious, these things wouldn't sell. I've worn a CB2k and CB3k on and off for years, at work, at play, in the gym. No one has noticed. I think the only people who have trouble with visibility are the really well hung guys, who are also really skinny. But honestly, even outside a CB, those guys sport a bulge in tight-fitting jeans. Don't give the visibility issue a second thought.

I would suggest you just go and buy the cb6ks, and play with it. Don't keep it a secret, but neither make a big deal of it. Begin by holding the keys yourself, and get comfortable with it. If you like the way it feels, just keep it on. When your girlfriend wants what's inside it, take it off for her. I wouldn't pressure her, or try to set any expectations of D/s or anything. Just make it another sex toy. If she wants to take the next step, great!

It's unlikely that you'll interest her with tales of D/s, "I'll do whatever you want", "You can mold me into the perfect fiancee" or whatever. In fact, all of that will put WAY too much pressure on it. Just have fun! If she's having fun too, there's no telling where it will lead.

Given that you both have a predisposition to believe that intercourse is something sacred, and to be saved, it seems a natural extension that MC will "click" with her, given time.

Best of luck!
mikecb

That

[Belle]

Welcome! I know how hard it is to make that first post

I agree with you Celtic Queen, in the end who's buisness is it? I guess if I want to lock myself up for my girlfriend and someone finds that wierd, well I guess they just don't understand.

That is probably the hardest thing I faced when we started this, and that is the best attitude to have. We used the honor system for months, and his JB arrived yesterday. We went to my parents, then the mall with him wearing it. It was not noticeable at all under jeans.

[jnuts]

We went to my parents, then the mall with him wearing it. It was not noticeable at all under jeans.

Untrue. I totally noticed it!

But nobody else could have.

[Atone]

The first weekend after I got my CB3000 my wife went away and I had to go to my dad's to help him install something. Not only was it the first time I wore it out it was the longest I had gone as we only had the CB for less than a week. I was a bit nervous but as everyone is saying no one noticed anything, except me. I have worn some sort of device now to almost every place imaginable. Probably the most likely place to have been noticed was at the beach / pool. I think even with my smaller jailbird I would have to be a little careful but it wasn't a problem.

I think the biggest thing that would give me away now is if I need to 'adjust' something down there. Of course that would happen from time to time before too so even that isn't a big deal, just try to be discrete. Travelling by car for any distance with someone that doesn't know is probably where it causes the most anxiety on my part. If I know I am going to be doing that I do use a little lube around the base ring. I don't like things moving around too much usually but in that circumstance it makes it easier to make covert adjustments on the fly (behind the fly).

-A