For me, it's just not the actual sexual activity (or not) involved with male chastity that I find exciting. I like simply talking about it with my wife. Let me give you an example.
Monday night I gave Melissa an hour long, head to toe massage. It was wonderful for me just giving her that pleasure, even knowing she (most likely) would not be offering anything in return. And I was determined not to ask for anything either. I wanted it to be all for her.
The next day I asked her what was going through her mind during the massage. What was it like simply receiving and enjoying? Did she know how powerful a thing it was for me to caress her nude form knowing it would go no further? How was it to come to bed having no pressure to return any favors? To simply go off to sleep and leave me burning next to her?
She told me it was so relaxing to be massaged without having to think about what I might want too that she nearly went to sleep. She said she was fully aware that I was turned on, but she saw no need that night to mention it or worry about it. She had, after all, allowed me to orgasm on Saturday night.
Here's the thing: I find a lot of pleasure just in hearing her thoughts and feelings about our way of being. Almost as much pleasure as if she were to physically touch me.
I also am amazed to find that her pleasure really is becoming my pleasure. Just seeing her pleased with a good foot massage makes me happy and satisfies me.
And hearing her say no to me also makes me happy. During the massage Monday night I asked her if she would like me to pleasure her with my tongue and she said, "No, I don't want that tonight." Just hearing her confidence and matter-of-fact manner was great.
I never would of thought that these things would bring me so much pleasure. I always thought it was centered on my cock and my orgasm. What a change of thinking this is doing for me.