Horny peak, Grumpy peak?

[mikecb]

OK, a few different threads reminded me of a phenomenon I experience. I wonder if anyone shares it.

Around day 10, I peak in terms of how horny I am. Usually, after day 14 or so, I start to calm down again. However, a while after that - more variable I think, I often have a "grumpy peak". I'll notice I'm surly and short tempered. I recall it happening, very vividly, about 3 or 4 times. So much so, that I laughed at myself for being so short tempered, and had to basically talk myself down. "Mike, you're just horny. There's no reason to be cranky. Knock it off..."

I'm wondering if others experience this? The other thing that brings it to mind is the Ruined Orgasm thread. For those of you who, err, "enjoy" the opportunity to receive ruined orgasms, does that orgasm change your "cycle" for horny or grumpy moods?

mikecb

[Atone]

Thanks for starting a new thread, I didn't want to completely hijack David's denial thread.

You mentioned that you become more asexual as time goes on in part because your wife doesn't do T&D. My wife and I decided that this go around we weren't going to do as much T&D either. So far it has been none in 77 days. But we do still take care of her pleasure. I get a lot of satisfaction from that, it is actually the only thing that tempers my horniness. Are you taking care of your wifes needs or does she have no libido?

-A

[jnuts]

For me it is day 6 or 7 that I start raging. After that my temper settles.

[mikecb]

. But we do still take care of her pleasure. I get a lot of satisfaction from that, it is actually the only thing that tempers my horniness. Are you taking care of your wifes needs or does she have no libido?
-A

My wife has totally lost all libido and interest in sex - even more-so since menopause has set in. So, when I'm in prolonged chastity, it really is basically "celibacy" unless I entertain myself with porn, or other things that arouse me.

I think I would consider servicing my Wife as Tease/Denial play, since it would definitely be fun and sexual.

mikecb

[Celtic Queen]

Good points. We're just playing with this now as previously we seemed to hit a bit of a wall at 14 days so when we drew up a contract between us, we incorporated that as a guarantee. We have discussed pushing it out further but the problem we have is that I am denying myself as we have never been able to have sex without him orgasming (no matter what the penalty is!).

[davidphd1866]

Thanks for starting this thread also. (no need for my "year in chastity" thread to be a catch-all when we have specific topics to discuss)

Like Mike, my grumpy peak comes after the horny peak. I'd say somewhere around three weeks for me. But I absolutely have one......usually just one.

That said, what comes after the grumpy peak is sort of an ambient state of pleasure.

One of my personal goals for the full year is to discover or identify if there are more macro cycles out there. Will there be another horny peak at around six months? More grumpy peaks?

Love to hear also hear how the ladies think about this. Does this make you want to keep putting us back to a peak? Does it make you want us to reach that ambient state of pleasure? Do you care? (part of the chastity modus operandi)

David

[jnuts]

Belle did make the comment today that it isn't that I'm an asshole or anything when I'm in my grumpy state, I'm just extra nice when I'm in my horny state. She did say it is one of the things that makes her want to keep doing this.

[mykey]

Yeah I get one sometimes. My orgasm cycle is a week so I don't recall when. But when we uses tondo longer periods I certainly had that phase.

I don't think sleeping less becAuse of being horny helps but I don't think that's all it is.

M

[Atone]

I think I would consider servicing my Wife as Tease/Denial play, since it would definitely be fun and sexual.

Sorry to hear her libido is so low. You may have mentioned this elsewhere but does she make efforts to assist you in your desired release?

I don't think I am ready to treat servicing my wife as T&D play but that might be an interesting thing to restrict for short periods of time. I wouldn't want to do that too much because that is something that she really likes. She might be willing to use a vibrator on herself while I just get to watch. That might get us through a couple of weeks at least until she wanted some personal attention. So, would that be considered T&D? I would get some level of satisfaction from just watching.

-A

[Shane67]

At 14-17 days I definitely have a grumpy peak. In fact, this lead to a blow up earlier in the week, at exactly 15 days. I accused her of ignoring me as she doesn't really do active T&D and she accused me of constantly upping the ante and pressuring her. We immediately made up the next morning though, when both us weren't so dog-tired, and the game goes on...

So, would that be considered T&D?

Since you don't get to orgasm any interaction with your wife qualifies as T&D, I would think, at least it does for me. The little peck on her neck, the trailing hand grab, the hug from behind where she rests her head on your shoulder ... all these little things become highly charged. And then when you do really play, like we we've done twice in the past few days (a significant amount of play for 40 somethings with career and two young children), and I make her come with my mouth, the arousal is mind blowing.

This is the first time I've been past that grumpy peak actually. It's kind of nice to be back in that constant low-level arousal contented state. How can you be aroused and contented at the same time? I don't know.