Why Chastity For Us?

Living the real life under lock and key

Why Chastity For Us?

Postby michaelnmelissa » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:47 am

Hi all,

Why did I propose male chastity to Melissa?

Well, it's always excited me. Just the idea of being kept and under control and on edge...for years I have thought of it. I used to masturbate to the fantasy. Isn't that strange? To masturbate to the idea of being denied!? Anyway, I did, but I always thought it would be too kinky to bring up to her even though we have experimented in many other areas.

But I think the main reason I finally worked up the courage to say something was because I was tired of arguing about sex. My sex drive is much stronger than Melissa's. When she is turned on it is wildly hot and fun, but if she is not it is still good, but I know she is not truly "there" with me. If anything, a man wants to be desired by his woman. I came to dread the thought that she might say no again. She came to dread the thought that I would ask too often. We both hated the argument that resulted. Instead of a joy, sex became a minefield. I knew that the arguments were mostly my fault. I would keep speaking and she would retreat into silence and there would be tension for days. There is no such thing as make-up sex for us; we have to wait until the tension subsides (but it never really left). It was the one area of our marriage that ever caused us to fight.

So, I got sick enough of it to say no more. I'd read enough about male chastity to know all the benefits it can bring to a relationship. I recently started reading some of your excellent blogs, and I knew I was going to bring it up. I sat with her in the bedroom and began by saying, "I never want to argue about sex again." I then went on to tell her I'd like to surrender my sexuality to her. My cock and my orgasms were to be hers. Her pleasure = my pleasure. She would decide when, what, how much, and if...there was more, but you get the drift. I was nervous. So nervous I was shaking. But then...she got this little smile on her face and said we could try it. I was so thrilled I could hardly sleep that night. Just the touch of her leg against mine was erotic.

She has surprised herself by how quickly she's taken to it. She's a natural! I am still coaxing her a bit; showing her it's okay to say "no" and that I want to be denied. On her own she came up with the idea to ruin my orgasm during intercourse. I was so happy. I have some of my own ideas and I'll share them with her to act out if she'd like. We've had a couple of rough days, but we're still in it together.

Well, this is long enough! Thanks for "listening" and I look forward to being an active part of the group.

Michael
michaelnmelissa
 
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby jnuts » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:54 am

This Is exactly what Belle and I were going through. Appears to be very common. Thanks for sharing!

Btw...any chance your wife will be checking the forum out as well? Always nice to get some more female perspective.
A vanilla couple finding their way in the male chastity lifestyle:
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com
That same couple reviewing the hell out of sex toys:
http://nuts4toys.net
User avatar
jnuts
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:01 pm

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby Dev » Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:13 am

Hi Michael,

Your story sounds pretty typical of many I have read.

Ab and I didn't get into chastity because of sex problems/arguments (although we have had those in the past). For us, it was because I read a hot story that turned me on and I couldn't get it out of my mind. However, within days of having Ab locked up (we started right off the bat with a device, no honor system for us) we found that communication about sex changed. Problems I wasn't really aware of started bubbling to the surface. But instead of arguing or ignoring them (our more common approach) we began to talk about this. It's been incredibly therapeutic for us---and we're just 2.5 months into the experience.

Like jnuts said, I hope your wife will join in the discussions, too. We have a few couples here. My husband actually doesn't participate here (he's not the forum type) but he does read my blog and his comments come through pretty regularly.

D
The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers
User avatar
Dev
 
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:10 am
Location: New England, USA

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby michaelnmelissa » Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:39 am

Jnuts:

I've read through your blog and I was encouraged to see we were not the only couple that saw chastity as helping to end the fighting.

Dev:

I've read through your blog too and it's also been most helpful to me.

I do hope Melissa will join the discussion. I think it may be awhile. I am much more open in discussing such a private matter. I will let you know how she thinks about things as she tells me. She has told me she truly enjoys the better communication and closeness between us. And after she spoiled my orgasm last week she blurted out: "I really liked that! Feeling you gush into me but knowing you didn't orgasm!" She couldn't explain it , but she liked the control she said.

Michael
michaelnmelissa
 
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby Jimi123 » Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:01 am

Good posts on sexual differences and this causing issues. Changing the dynamics and trying to do a "husband reset" on things? Well its seems like an obvious way to make positive changes. I read an interesting comment how regular teasing 3 or 4 times a week to "almost" (95%) orgasm was better for men then little to no 100% orgasms. *Sarah & John. This really made me think. Because.... That makes perfect sense if thats your two choices. I'm back to wondering why the goal (No matter how you reach it MC or MC with a device etc or just therapy) can't be 3 or 4 times a week to 100% orgasm. Some have said and it maybe true that once men climax they don't act the same. That they may no longer be interested (or as interested) in working quite so hard on their relationship.

Anyway, glad to see new people and the thoughts they are bringing to this great forum.


- Jimi
Jimi123
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby davidphd1866 » Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:53 am

Welcome Michael.

Great job so far! I really understand the part about how our wives are reluctant to "share with the world" what remains very intimate to them. My wife is the same. Mind you, she just LOVES male chastity play, but so far hasn't even discussed it with her best friend. (or I am the biggest sap on the planet)

Keep up the good work.

David
davidphd1866
 
Posts: 194
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:24 am
Location: Los Angeles

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby Dev » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:00 pm

I'll happily share my chastity life with a few thousand strangers on the Internet, but I doubt I'll ever talk to anyone in person about it, except for people I meet here. Maybe I'll meet one of you guys in person some day. But talking to a "local" friend, that is, not an online friend? I can't imagine it ever coming up. People don't talk about sex, at least not the women I socialize with.

D
The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers
User avatar
Dev
 
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:10 am
Location: New England, USA

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby cb6000s » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:09 pm

Jimi123 wrote:I'm back to wondering why the goal (No matter how you reach it MC or MC with a device etc or just therapy) can't be 3 or 4 times a week to 100% orgasm.


No reason at all. The only rules and scorecards are the ones we make for ourselves. My question to you is, how is that chastity unless you are a 7 day a week person? Or is chastity merely wearing the device?

For us, if we set a chastity cycle of every 7 days then that would just be our normal routine and there wouldn't be any point to calling it chastity play.
cb6000s
 
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:43 pm

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby Belle » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:30 pm

Dev wrote:I'll happily share my chastity life with a few thousand strangers on the Internet, but I doubt I'll ever talk to anyone in person about it, except for people I meet here. Maybe I'll meet one of you guys in person some day. But talking to a "local" friend, that is, not an online friend? I can't imagine it ever coming up. People don't talk about sex, at least not the women I socialize with.

D


AMEN!
~Belle
Jnuts wife & keyholder
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com/
Belle
 
Posts: 507
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:29 am

Re: Why Chastity For Us?

Postby Jimi123 » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:34 pm

I might not be saying it right.

Take as an example a couple that start doing this (Device or not) and they spend some time having the male be denied while the wife becomes more liberated. Both in the bedroom where she is having her needs addressed without having to make the "goal" male orgasm. The male is busy thinking up ways to focus attention on her and take care of needs outside the bedroom (as well) and the relationship makes a positive turn.

Now, like a "diet" you eventually have a "fit" husband who is making the wife pretty happy. If the "diet" goes bad the husband gets out of his device orgasms and turns grumpy and doesn't take care of things in and out of the bedroom. If the diet works he goes back to "solid food" aka male orgasms but doesn't let it make him "flabby." Maybe the need for wearing a device goes away? Or she keeps him locked up? But the end point is not that he stays on the liquid diet (total denial) but that they can have a mutually satisfying sex life.

I think some guys are coming in and feel bad about how "flabby" they are and want to go on a total diet and avoid any chewable food rather then fall back into bad habits? I also see a thread on couples that simply like the communications and non male orgasmic activity so much (Because its new / different in a kinky way) that they don't want to go back to what wasn't really so hot?

Of course there are so many other scenarios. Bad history (Cheating), mega wanking (porn etc), and so forth. I guess I'm trying to find the puzzle piece that fits into my particular hole... Humm... THAT came out wrong.... :lol:
Jimi123
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Next

Return to General Chastity Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 5 guests