The Slippery Slope

[Dev]

I think there has been a bit of a slope for you, albeit a gentle one. It's fun to read about your adventures on the blog, but what's really _interesting_ to me is the changes that this game have brought. It's very similar to what I've seen in our relationship.

Since we're all talking metaphors here...LOL...

I guess to me, the notion of a slope implies some loss of control. We start walking down the hill then suddenly stumble, fall, and suddenly are flying down, head over heels with no chance of making any change in direction--and probably ending up at the bottom of the hill in worse shape than we started out. Put in a chastity context, that would be that these "things," such as I illustrated earlier, are inevitable, they WILL happen and we have no power to say no--and when the game finally does end, we'll be all the worse emotionally for having started playing in the first place.

I think everyone here on this forum would be in agreement that is not going to happen, but for the newcomer/reluctant wife who is searching for info...she might find one of these sites and because her bullshit meter isn't as finely calibrated as ours are, she might be rather put-off by the whole idea. And rightly so.

Likes, I do agree...there have been changes in my relationship with Ab and in myself as well. I can't speak completely for him but I am sure he would agree that he has experienced quite a bit of change, too.

So, for a metaphor...how about we're hiking through the woods and there's the branch that goes this way and the branch that goes that way and we keep making choices. Sometimes we're a little surprised at where a certain branch takes us. When we got to the beautiful waterfall, we enjoyed the view. When we got to the scary black bear, however, we turned around and went the other way.

D

[Shane67]

I think it comes down to that most basic of human needs: the need to be accepted. Some us have an interest in these verboten topics, and we feel slightly uncomfortable when one of our favorite bloggers groups us with the "others." It's not an all together rational response -- I know I'm not that strange, and even if I was, so what? But it's the same reason I still occasionally ask my wife stupid leading questions such as, "I'm not too weird for you, am I?"

[mykey]

But it's the same reason I still occasionally ask my wife stupid leading questions such as, "I'm not too weird for you, am I?"

Gosh I know that question! So many years of your kink being a hidden almost shameful thing. I used to ask my wife that often when we started playing. Still do once in a while.

[Jimi123]

I think we can all get pretty comfortable with our non vanilla kinks but thinking about the right (or VERY ALL SO wrong) context can kind of freak me out. What if I forgot to lock up the "marital Aids / sex toys" after I washed them? What if our kids, parents, etc walk in while we are doing "it" etc....

I guess this still gives me some second thoughts on what, where, etc we do. In fact one of the questions that she asked that didn't particularly bother me was "What happens if your wearing this device and have a car wreck?" My thought was pretty much "If I'm that injured I doubt I will give a rip"

[Shane67]

This is getting into flogging-a-dead-horse territory, but I also totally understand Dev's viewpoint and her positioning of the blog -- I did say my gut response was somewhat irrational. It is true that piercing, branding, cuckolding, "sissyfication," you-are-now-a-faggot as written about on various blogs will squick a lot of already kinky people, not to mention the long suffering wife newly exposed to yet another one of her husband's quirks.

Gosh I know that question! So many years of your kink being a hidden almost shameful thing. I used to ask my wife that often when we started playing. Still do once in a while.

And that other favorite: "Are you still glad you married me?"

And what the heck is a "non vanilla kink"?

[jnuts]

And what the heck is a "non vanilla kink"?

A kink that involves chocolate?

[Dev]

I think we can all get pretty comfortable with our non vanilla kinks but thinking about the right (or VERY ALL SO wrong) context can kind of freak me out. What if I forgot to lock up the "marital Aids / sex toys" after I washed them?

Been there, done that. My daughter has made it very clear she doesn't like the dildo to be left in the shower...LOL. When she was home from college two weeks ago she asked if we could please not leave the lube in the bathroom and put it in the bedroom where it belongs.

What if our kids, parents, etc walk in while we are doing "it" etc....

I don't know what the circumstance would be for parents to be walking in, except maybe if they're demented and wandering through the house. Kids on the other hand...once again, been there, done that. We just said, "Mommy and daddy are enjoying some grown-up naked playtime. Go back to bed." As I recall, it worked.

D

[Belle]

A kink that involves chocolate?

I prefer caramel.

[likes2blocked]

I prefer caramel.

Nutella!

[Celtic Queen]

Hi, I thought I would add a two pennies worth here.I agree with most of what's been said in terms of the unreality of FemDom porn depictions and the nonsense bandied about that the minute a guy wears any kind of device it's all silky knickers and feather dusters for him from then on. Then again, since when has porn held any resemblance to marital sex?

My FLR works in the way it does because of the people we are. We didnt pick up a recipe book and follow it slavishly (pun intended . Our relationship evolved naturally with a lot of communication, research and intelligent filtering of internet based crap. FLRs and FemDOMs are very loose labels that can apply across a massive continuum of behaviours and in my view female authority has been around long before these terms gained any kind of consensus anyway. Matriarchal societies have been around since the first cave woman hit the cave man with a big stick for leaving entrails all over the cave and not picking up his fur underpants. To my mind, women in charge is simply a more stable way of looking after domestics and communities because generalising wildly - women are simply better at this kind of stuff. Chastity is just one of the many re enforcing mechanisms to make it work as when men's minds are not being hijacked by their trouser compasses, they can be a little more focused on everything else.

To use the word "slope" implies some downward spiral so I'd prefer to think of it - like Dev - more along the lines of a linear metaphor which is exactly how any long term relationship or marriage should evolve anyway. If you are healthy and intelligent, there is no way you are going to go from some normal sane guy to Priscilla, Queen of the desert simply because your wife manages all the money and kicks you under the table when you are being an arse in company along with a "wait til you get home" expression. Yes, some of the kink games that goes on an FLR may raise vanilla eyebrows but quite frankly, I think that's a result of two people having a fearless sex life.