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Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:25 am
by Tom Allen
Jimi123 wrote:Do women really "care" about men wanking (Or more to the point - even know?) unless its the cause of the men being jerks and not being into them?
Men wanking is a huge point of contention for many couples, if my anecdotal statistics of relationship and sexuality web boards are any indication. Ironically, it's an even bigger point of disagreement when they aren't having as much sex.

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:34 am
by Belle
Jimi123 wrote:Do women really "care" about men wanking (Or more to the point - even know?) unless its the cause of the men being jerks and not being into them?
[/quote]
Many women see it as an insult. Basically an "I am not meeting his needs" type thing.

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:20 pm
by jnuts
Do you?

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:45 pm
by Belle
jnuts wrote:Do you?
Nope, you know that! Plus I usually watch ;)

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:04 pm
by likes2blocked
Belle wrote:Many women see it as an insult. Basically an "I am not meeting his needs" type thing.
Hadn't thought of it that way, but now that you bring it up, I can see how someone might look at it like that.

Men, as usual, are often oblivious - it's just something we do. Unless, of course, someone has a key...

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:14 pm
by Jimi123
Some women feel insulted when a man masturbates. I get that.

When you have different sex drives how many women have suggested male masturbation? And if for example that was what was happening would it be ok with the men? ie "please take care of yourself" would that sound good? Negative? Not having his needs "met" or?

I know this would be outside of the MC lifestyle but I wonder if some of you were at that point?

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:47 am
by mikecb
Jimi123 wrote:Some women feel insulted when a man masturbates. I get that.

When you have different sex drives how many women have suggested male masturbation? And if for example that was what was happening would it be ok with the men? ie "please take care of yourself" would that sound good? Negative? Not having his needs "met" or?

I know this would be outside of the MC lifestyle but I wonder if some of you were at that point?
In my relationship, it's basically "Don't ask, don't tell." My wife knows I have a MUCH higher libido than hers. She knows I masturbate. She's not thrilled about it, but I've made it abundantly clear (read that as "epic argument one day") that a healthy libido is normal, and I have no desire to be celibate. So, she "tolerates" it... willing, or no. I'm discrete about it, since I have no desire to torment her. Her libido is non-existent. She has sought medical advice about it, but in the end chose not to follow through with the drugs prescribed. That's her choice. Still, I just have my needs. That's my choice. We'll never agree, so we simply don't discuss it.

mikecb

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:08 pm
by Celtic Queen
My hub and I have been luckier than most in that we met and married fairly late in life and started as we meant to go on - with him in a device. My view? I think the wedding ceremony should have an addition when you both exchange rings then he looks lovingly and trustingly into his intended's eyes and hands over the key :D

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:00 pm
by Jimi123
My SO would prefer I take "care of myself" and it not be a secret. I admit I feel guilty and not all that great about it. Maybe its a needs not being met thing or?! Anyway. Its complicated. MC might be a better solution but I've over thunk that a bit (I admit)

I also have to admit that the reading I did, did not prepare me for the day to day issues of wearing a device. Its just a pain (literally) and more trouble then I thought.

As to meds etc for sex drive. I'm so there brother - sorry she opted in the negative. It really can be a world of difference.

Re: More Mainstreaming (sort of)

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:43 am
by Dev
I also have to admit that the reading I did, did not prepare me for the day to day issues of wearing a device. Its just a pain (literally) and more trouble then I thought.
This is just not right. I am sending you a PM.

D