How did we get here?

Living the real life under lock and key

How did we get here?

Postby curiouscaged1 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:29 pm

Hey, everybody. I’m sure there’s already a thread like this somewhere, but I couldn’t find it, so I figured I’d ask it myself.
I was wondering how people arrived at the chastity fetish. I’m sure that, if you’re like me, you didn’t even know male chastity was a thing. And now here we are.
For myself, I became aware of it through porn and erotic stories. I had a big CFNM (clothed female naked male) fetish, which led to more overtly femdom videos, which eventually led me to chastity vids. At first I wasn’t super turned on by them, but the more of them I watched, the more I began to understand the appeal. Until eventually I bought a device for myself.
My wife are still figuring out how to incorporate it into our lives, but that was the train of thought that got me here.
What about you guys?
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby Tullyboy » Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:00 pm

My wife and I have always had unbalanced sex drives. I've tried many desperate things in order to change that - tease and denial (for her) being one. As with everything else, it was a disaster. She's really a wonderful person and hates to disappoint me so over the years she had just decided to accept my sexual advances and have sex whether she wanted to or not. And more often than not, whatever new thing I threw at her, she'd grin and bear it. This turned love making into masturbation; she laid there while I relieved myself.

The emotional connection is at least as important to me as the physical and so even though she was doing her best, I was discontent. I was typing sex questions into Google. "Does testosterone therapy increase female libido?" "How to make your wife horny?" etc.

At some point I realized that all of my questions were about how I could change my wife. Maybe it wasn't my wife that needed to change. But I knew that I couldn't do it alone so chastity seemed like a logical answer.

Where did I hear about chastity first? Oh, I probably saw it on the internet somewhere, or a medieval punishment museum in Europe. And I've always wanted to put my wife in a belt. But the males pictures on the internet are pretty sad looking so it certainly wasn't that.

I knew what I needed to do. I changed the searches to male chastity and went from there. Didn't take long to realize that I needed a custom steel cage so that's where I started. And then after grinding through Tumblr I came to this quiet corner of the internet.
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby curiouscaged1 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:51 pm

That’s actually a great story about self realization and sacrifice. It sounds like you and your wife really love one another. Very encouraging.
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby Tullyboy » Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:10 pm

curiouscaged1 wrote:That’s actually a great story about self realization and sacrifice. It sounds like you and your wife really love one another. Very encouraging.

That's very kind of you to say! Thank you.
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby all41 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:34 pm

Tullyboy wrote:My wife and I have always had unbalanced sex drives. I've tried many desperate things in order to change that - tease and denial (for her) being one. As with everything else, it was a disaster. She's really a wonderful person and hates to disappoint me so over the years she had just decided to accept my sexual advances and have sex whether she wanted to or not. And more often than not, whatever new thing I threw at her, she'd grin and bear it. This turned love making into masturbation; she laid there while I relieved myself.

The emotional connection is at least as important to me as the physical and so even though she was doing her best, I was discontent. I was typing sex questions into Google. "Does testosterone therapy increase female libido?" "How to make your wife horny?" etc.

At some point I realized that all of my questions were about how I could change my wife. Maybe it wasn't my wife that needed to change. But I knew that I couldn't do it alone so chastity seemed like a logical answer.

Where did I hear about chastity first? Oh, I probably saw it on the internet somewhere, or a medieval punishment museum in Europe. And I've always wanted to put my wife in a belt. But the males pictures on the internet are pretty sad looking so it certainly wasn't that.

I knew what I needed to do. I changed the searches to male chastity and went from there. Didn't take long to realize that I needed a custom steel cage so that's where I started. And then after grinding through Tumblr I came to this quiet corner of the internet.



Well put. Kudos to you!!
Last edited by TwistedMister on Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed quote tag
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby Barkis » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:10 am

curiouscaged1 wrote:I was wondering how people arrived at the chastity fetish. I’m sure that, if you’re like me, you didn’t even know male chastity was a thing.
Tullyboy wrote:My wife and I have always had unbalanced sex drives.


Interesting thread, and a very eloquent post, Tullyboy, if I may say so. (In fact, to digress for a moment, there are quite a few very articulate contributors around here, I wonder if that says anything about the chastity demographic?).

Like many, I stumbled across male chastity completely by accident. In the decade or two BC (Before Chastity :D ), frequency of any kind of sex between Mrs B and myself had gradually decreased to maybe once or twice a month. I don't think either of us was unhappy with that situation, it was just the way things were. However, with the benefit of hindsight, I suspect that subconsciously we had both become nervous of initiating anything for fear of being rejected. And I'm sure that, were it not for the chastity thing, we would both have continued to live a perfectly happy life in that state.

But then, POW!!!! Almost overnight, I had discovered male chastity, had become desperate to try it, and had summoned up the courage to talk to Mrs B about it. Bless her, she was very understanding and prepared to give it a try, and I can honestly say it has transformed our sex life and hugely enriched our relationship. We are now more open and honest with each other about sex than we have ever been in the 40+ years we have been together. Frequency is now closer to once or twice a week, and because of the power exchange she is completely confident in the knowledge that she can initiate sex any time she likes and I ain't gonna refuse! And if she doesn't like, well, I just stay locked up (but not for too long, I hope ;) ).
Barkis is willing...
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby Tullyboy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:17 am

Barkis wrote:(In fact, to digress for a moment, there are quite a few very articulate contributors around here, I wonder if that says anything about the chastity demographic?).

Ha! I’ve thought the very same thing. I’ve thought, “Who are all these incredible writers?”

Congratulations on such a long marriage and I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying each other!
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby curiouscaged1 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:25 pm

Barkis wrote:Interesting thread, and a very eloquent post, Tullyboy, if I may say so. (In fact, to digress for a moment, there are quite a few very articulate contributors around here, I wonder if that says anything about the chastity demographic?)..


I also noticed this and was thinking that it had to do with the age of many of the posters. Not only do I find older posters (by which I mean anybody over 35) to be more generally eloquent, but also more willing to be open about their experiences. Adding that to the inherent vulnerability that comes with a forum like this and you have a surprisingly mature series of posts, which I find very refreshing.
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby happilylockedman » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:10 pm

I got to chastity as a form of Bondage Light. I've always been into being in bondage, fem dom and the whole bdsm spectrum. My wife has not. This set up a very difficult dynamic. I'll tell you the long version of the story sometime but the short version re: MC is that I was putting stuff on my penis and balls and tying them up myself for a long time before I realized there were actual devices available that did the job better. Before, my self genital bondage would get me excited and I would then masturbate. Wearing a device, of course, prevents that. I wouldn't have anticipated that not having orgasms would be a good thing.

Male chastity was something that I felt I could introduce to my wife that she might be OK with accepting. It has worked out that way. Along the way there have been the same benefits that most all the rest of you have enjoyed - no masturbation results in enhanced sex drive, greater anticipatory pleasure. Committing myself to her pleasure has resulted in more pleasure for both of us.

I continue to hope that she'll eventually be willing to try tame bondage/discipline activities but even if she's not willing to I believe MC is here to stay for this couple.
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Re: How did we get here?

Postby cuyahoga » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:39 am

I had a chastity device before I knew what chastity was, and it was gone from my collection of toys before I discovered chastity.

I discovered orgasm denial around the same time that I met and started dating my now wife. We played with orgasm denial fairly early in our relationship.

A year or two later, we were in a sex shop, and saw a chastity device in a display case. We bought it, and played with it a little for a couple of years. I became very interested and started upgrading with internet orders, as well as asking for more and more as I got better devices.

Now we’re learning how to make this an even larger part of our sex life. It’s slow, with quite a few stops and starts, but we’re getting better at it every time, so I have a lot of hope.
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