Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

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Freaky_Dude
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Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by Freaky_Dude »

Hello-

I've got some questions about regularly scheduled tease-and-denial sessions as practiced in loving long-term chastity relationships.
I've heard from messaging with some of you that your spouses tie you down at least once a week for at least a half hour, remove the cage, and edge you several times without ejaculation. I've read several mistresses like Ms. Rika recommend the same thing.

https://m.xhamster.com/movies/4428327/f ... ndjob.html

My wife is pretty vanilla. Though she has tied me spread eagle and teased me for over an hour in the past, that was long ago. She's not a natural Dom, so it won't come easy to her.

So:
1) Do any of you actually have this as a regular part of your relationships?
2) What are the results you see occuring from it?
3) How did you explain the benefits to your partners, since it is some additional 'work' they have to do? How do I make it seem like less of a chore? Have your partners noticed benefits?
4) how often is it done in your relationship? Are there any variations you have found work?

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

-FD
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sirmebane
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by sirmebane »

I wish that was the case. She is willing to tease and play at times but nothing that elaborate.
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VinnyDee
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by VinnyDee »

We are in a loving marriage for 44 years with the last 4 years in 24/7 lockdown. We have one teasing/edging session a week but I get teased regularly every day with kisses,fondling my cage or my wife showing me her breast and letting me fondle them. I know that you read about being tied down but in my opinion, that is what is found on chastity websites and not so much in real life. What is the point of tying the guy down? Is he going to punch out his KH and jerk off like a monkey? If someone cannot control themselves when unlocked for short periods of time, they are not going to last in chastity for the long run. It makes more work for the KH too. I do not masturbate locked or not, although I am locked about 99% of the time.

We go about our life like every other married couple in a good loving relationship. The only thing different is that only my wife gets orgasms and I am locked all the time, during sex too. We have not had intercourse for longer than we can remember, maybe 15-20 years, and my orgams were mostly self administered after the girls had theirs. My wife's current friends do not have any sex at all. Maybe once a year for the husband's birthday if his prostate cancer is in remission. So we are actually more sexual active than our friends. I get an orgasm maybe once a year if my wife wants to deal with the alpha me after it. I agreed to forgo orgasms for very long periods of time because I never get erect anymore and an orgasm with a limp penis is not worth starting chastity over again. She knows that I need the hope of an orgasm to stay interested in sexually pleasing her and being on my best behavior so I assume she will let me have an orgasm someday. I know that I will not have anymore this year so maybe next year.
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EDAS
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by EDAS »

Wow, VinnyDee, your journey through chastity is something that I envy! I get to fuck my wife though, but I do not orgasm. I wanted to make 2017 an orgasm free year, but I have had one orgasm so far, plus two ruined orgasms since last December 23, 2016. All three orgasms (the one a real orgasm, the other ruined, as I said) were accidents. They were not planned.

Can you tell us more about your experiences. For instance you say that at one time (if I understood well) your orgasms were self-administered "after the girls had theirs", you say. Who are the "girls" mentioned here here? Is this your wife and a female lover?

You say that you now have only one orgasm a year. How does it happen? I mean, does your wife caress your sex until you come? Or is this single yearly orgasm self-adminitered?
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braddogg4345
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by braddogg4345 »

Freaky_Dude wrote:
1) Do any of you actually have this as a regular part of your relationships?
2) What are the results you see occuring from it?
3) How did you explain the benefits to your partners, since it is some additional 'work' they have to do? How do I make it seem like less of a chore? Have your partners noticed benefits?
4) how often is it done in your relationship? Are there any variations you have found work?
-FD
It seems like a lot of women see tease and denial as a chore, my KH included. I know this is not what you want to hear, but my suggestion would be to just take the tease and denial when she wants to give it to you. Thats what i have learned to do. I found myself having to ask my KH for T&D all the time. She was telling me that i was being too needy, and i think it was starting to turn her off to the whole chastity thing. So now, i just happily take it when she wants to give it. Not being teased as much kind of sucks. But when you do get teased, it just feels that much better!

One thing you can do, which is what i do, is act overly submissive after a T&D session. Right after the session, start doing chores around the house or something else that she will appreciate. Maybe she will put 2 and 2 together and see that themore teasing she does, the better you behave.

You should also make her aware of other ways she can tease you, without having to do anything. For me, my KH will allow me to rub lotion on her body. Or she will allow me to give her a foot/leg massage. This turns me on just as much as having my cock played with. And she gets a massage...everybody wins!

About the bondage along with the T&D, that is even more tricky. Especially if she is vanilla. I would say you need to basically sell her your soul. Work out some kind of agreement with your KH telling her that if she does that for you every so often, you will do something for her. What that is exactly will dpend on your personal situation. I can tell you it will be well worth the sacrifice you have to make.

My KH and i have done a little bit of T&D with bondage. There was one time where she tied me to the bed with bed restraints, and we played out a rape scenario. She tied me down, teased me, and then put me inside of her and ride me to an orgasm. I could tell it turned her on as much as it turned me on, because it literally took her about 10 seconds to have an orgasm. I know it may sound odd, but this was probably the most intense sexual experience i have ever had. So go sell your soul to your KH already!
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ilikebond
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by ilikebond »

My wife ties me up in some way for every ruined she gives me. She likes the control and I like the helplessness. To ease the chore I will get all the stuff out and tie my feet and knees down, she just has to do the buckles on my hands and tighten everything up a bit.

For us chastity without bondage just wouldn't be complete. Like chicken fried steak without gravy.
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by TwistedMister »

ilikebond wrote:Like chicken fried steak without gravy.
I must really be a freak- I like ketchup on my chicken fried steak.

As Brad notes, there are things that work as 'teases' for me that do not require action on her part- pleasuring her orally, giving massages, rubbing her feet (and licking her feet/sucking her toes...the first time I did it she thought it was very strange, but she soon learned that she liked it). Doing these things while locked causes me considerable arousal.

Also, when it comes to bondage during a session where she is directly stimulating you in an 'active' tease, just explain that it is much more intense when you are tied and cannot exert any control whatsoever, and she has complete control to do as she pleases and tease for as long as *she* wants.
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CZSteve
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by CZSteve »

I've always had a kinky/submissive side to me.

About 10-12 years ago I brought up spicing things up some and tied my wife to the bed; first go around this night was rather disappointing - shortly after that my wife discovered her hormone levels were out of wack and after some hormone therapy Her libido as up and going... (and mine; we're both taking testosterone).

I also came to realization that it's best to just be open and honest about my kinky desires - pegging was a tough one to bring up but of course my Wife had wondered what it would be like to be the 'Giver'...
So, the next thing I know we have a plethora of bdsm gear, kinky & torture toys, some homemade bondage furniture that can be concealed, and even a powered hidden winch that can support full/dynamic body weight.
At this stage we would switch; I was mostly the bottom but at times I would Top - my Wife didn't get into being dominated the way I did; mostly She didn't want the responsibility I think and thought I wanted to top on occasion - I was not really into being a sadist but did love tying Her up and forcing intense orgasms.

A little over nine months ago I brought up chastity and of course Her text response was "I've wondered if you would do that for me?"
Next thing I know I'm caged and our dynamic has shifted - one night a few months ago my Wife asked me if I ever feel the need to dominate; I responded that I don't and asked if She ever wants me to tie Her up - my Wife told me 'No'.

So now, I've been caged for nine months and always been the one being dominated.
My Wife finds herself getting absolutely dripping wet when She's dominating, teasing, or torturing me -She is truly enjoying it.
I've also very much loved the effect that chastity has had on me - now play nights are often intense with no release for me. I'll take care of setting up and putting away whatever gear we need for a given scene; my Wife just instructs me what She wants set up at some point during the evening.
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chastehub
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by chastehub »

ilikebond wrote:My wife ties me up in some way for every ruined she gives me. She likes the control and I like the helplessness. To ease the chore I will get all the stuff out and tie my feet and knees down, she just has to do the buckles on my hands and tighten everything up a bit.

For us chastity without bondage just wouldn't be complete. Like chicken fried steak without gravy.
That makes two of us that like our chicken fried steak with gravy. Our approaches are very similar (regarding doing most of the work to get tied up), and that minimizes the workload on MyBride. The one thing we're still working on is teasing; She has a hard time denying me an orgasm and locking me back up. But we're having fun, and She is getting more adventurous, so in due time i'm sure I'll get what i'm wishing for (and i may regret it).
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braddogg4345
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Re: Regular Tie-and-tease/Tease-and-deny in loving chastity?

Post by braddogg4345 »

CZSteve wrote:I also came to realization that it's best to just be open and honest about my kinky desires - pegging was a tough one to bring up but of course my Wife had wondered what it would be like to be the 'Giver'..
Wow. How did you convince her to do this for you? My KH is amazing. she is naturally dominant and shes willing to try a lot of things, but this is one of those things she will not even consider.
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