[Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:42 pm

Tullygirl reached out to stroke the front of my jeans. “Did your smaller cage come?”

“Nope... Friday.”

“Woo hoo!” she exclaimed. “It’ll be so small.” She allowed her hand to linger, rubbing gently.

How is it that I feel more sexually loved in a cage than I ever did when I was free? Maybe it’s because every move that she makes is hers. Or maybe it just focuses the attention. Whatever the case, I’m overflowing with warm feelings for my wife.

As for the smaller cage, I’ve had to adjust to smaller sizes. Apparently I was a bit chubby when I initially measured. The cage arriving on Friday takes a full 1/2” off the length and 1/8” off the base ring. I can’t wait to try it.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:53 pm

Last night was a wonderful night of tasting my keyholder. After some lovely cuddling, I asked her if I could give her an orgasm. At first she said, "I thought sex was supposed to be my idea."

I replied, "Well, I'm just wondering if that's what you'd like :)"

Ok, she said. She was just about to start her period and her smell and feel was so... smooth. I started with tongue and then finished with a clit-sucker. Remembering her body's reaction gives me a happy heart..

BUT, today I had to text her that I was sorry for overstepping my place. I'm trying to be better about "suggesting from the bottom." To help with that, I asked whether we might have a once-a-week time where I could talk about sex from my standpoint and perhaps that would help me to keep my opinions out of our bed.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Wed Nov 29, 2017 4:00 pm

Just had this thought. One reason that truly giving our bed to Tullygirl is important to me is that for most of our marriage I’ve expected sex. I’d really like to be in the place where instead of expecting it, I’m grateful for it. It feels so much more emotionally fulfilling and better honors her.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:05 am

And last night I was grateful. No, we did not make love but there was plenty of love going around.

The day started with Turkey. Since we didn’t have our own Thanksgiving, I smoked a turkey to make Tullygirl happy. Later on, when one of the children asked why we were having turkey, Tullygirl whispered to me, “cause it’s all about MY pleasure,” and gave a sly wink. My cage groaned a bit. We finished dinner and I retired to the bedroom to read. I was really just escaping.

My desire for Tullygirl was so great that I could barely keep my hands off of her. My penis was vibrating. Two months ago, I would have suggested that we retire to the bedroom for love. Now, especially after the text that I had to send that morning, I didn’t feel like I should say anything.

Eventually my emotions, our dinner wine, and the turkey created a pleasing mix... and I closed my eyes to sleep. Finally my body turned off.

Later, “Time to get ready for bed,” my sweet wife whispered. After teeth brushing and face washing I found myself back in bed where Tullygirl smiled broadly and leaned in for the most amazingly luscious kiss in the history of kissing. It was wet and firm and intoxicating. She put her hand on my chest, focusing on my nipple. I was forced to stop kissing as I was overwhelmed.

Then her hand drifted down my stomach and she hesitated just a bit. Whether it was a purposeful tease I don’t know, but my breath caught as I hoped that she would continue down. And then her hand was moving again and took hold of me in my cage and I whimpered.

“Oh yes, please touch me.” Looking back, not a very manly sentiment, but I was completely under her control.

And that was it. Well, the touching went on for a few minutes, but then that was it. And I was completely and utterly satisfied. As satisfied as if I had cum. I just needed her to touch me and I was grateful that she had.

Post Script to Tullygirl, if you’re reading this: Just because I was satisfied, that doesn’t mean that I never want to cum. Just to be clear on this. I’m exaggerating a tad. Maybe it’s best to say that I was very nearly as satisfied as if I had cum.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:27 am

Over the last couple of days we’ve been discussing what my boundaries are for initiating touch. I’m allowed to kiss and hug. And my hands can drift to her rear while we’re hugging. I’ve definitely been interested in touch more often and more places so we put the rules into place for both of us. But Tullygirl has been pretty flirty herself.

So this morning as we woke up, I rolled over into spooning position and put my hand on her tummy. “Am I allowed to touch here?” I asked.

“Yep.”

“What about here...” and I began to move my hand up in her night shirt.

“Don’t even think about touching my boobs,” she instructed... “and don’t think that you can just leave your hand there so that you can touch them ‘accidentally’.” Bummer, she knows my tricks.

A few minutes later we rolled over and she put her hand on my stomach.

“And where can you touch?” I asked hopefully.

“Anywhere I want,” she answered knowingly and moved her hand to my cage, gently stroking my head through the bars.

Not long after we were beginning our run when she said, “Well it’s December. That just leaves one question: Ruinied or Real?”

“Do you have any thoughts about it?” I asked.

“Yes I do...” and she began running.

I limped behind her nursing a raging caged hardon making for a fairly miserable run.

So I don’t know what she has planning for me this evening, if anything, but she knows that my new smaller cage comes today. I texted her asking whether I can try it on when it arrives (by using the emergency key) or whether she would like to unlock me. Her response was that she’d like to do it together. I can’t tell you how warm that made me feel. Together has a nice ring to it.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:58 am

Addendum to today’s post:

I’d even be ok if the choices were orgasm, spoiled or none. I’ve just been so enjoying the attention lately, that the actual orgasm is in a different lane. For me, this doesn’t mean that I don’t want an orgasm. I’ll love it, if it happens. It just means that I don’t feel the need to obsess over it and make sure that it happens. Now, it’s not my concern, it’s Tullygirl’s.

For example, before chastity, I very likely would have “protected” this evening knowing that there was a chance for sex. Instead, today I feel comfortable planning a family event that may or may not interfere with sex time. If it does interfere, then that just means that I’ll get some great kissing and maybe a little fondling before we drift off to sleep. And tomorrow will be another day.

I’m pretty sure that I’m a sex addict (probably not in the clinical sense) and chastity has helped to remind me of the other important things in life.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Fri Dec 01, 2017 2:10 pm

One more post from me today, I guess. If you’ve been reading my journal I hope that I’m not overwhelming you with Spam!

Yesterday I came across a new aspect of chastity that I didn’t know would happen. It turns out that in my mind, when I gave Tullygirl control of our bed, I released control of the whole bedroom as well. Here’s what I mean by that. I have always been a Victoria’s Secret buying, virbrator buying, sexy dress buying misogynist. Tullygirl has rarely appreciated the gifts that I’ve given her and I realized a while back (6 years actually) that she felt like I was trying to make her into someone that she wasn’t; someone crafted in my image. It made her feel devalued and slutty.

When I realized it, I definitely reduced this behavior, but I never totally curtailed it. Yesterday, however, I felt that I needed to make a more formal declaration. Maybe just for myself, I’m not sure, but I needed to say something. So I mentioned that, with her permission of course, I would get out of the lingerie and toy business and follow her lead in that. This doesn’t discount the fact that I find some things really sexy but instead of acting on the impulse to buy these things for her, I’ll just let her know that I find them attractive and she will decide if they’re right for her.

She didn’t have a lot to say about it so something tells me that it’s not a big deal to her but it felt like the submissive thing to do on my part so I feel good about it. We’ll see how it works itself out. Today it meant that I kept walking past the Victoria Secret at the mall. ;)
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby TwistedMister » Sat Dec 02, 2017 7:43 am

If you’ve been reading my journal I hope that I’m not overwhelming you with Spam!


Your Journal thread is *your* Journal thread, that's why the Rules officially discourage other members from posting in it. Do not be concerned in the slightest with how much you might post to it or what others might think of the frequency/volume.

Other members reading it is their election so it can't be considered 'spam'. Of course, there may be a number of us who have voyeuristic tendencies and we enjoy reading of others exploits and their thoughts.
02/11/18 "The idea of me fucking someone else really turns you on, doesn't it?" --Mrs. Twisted
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:55 am

Very true. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m one of those voyeurs. It can, of course, be a bit titilating, but I think I enjoy them the most because they are road maps for my journey.
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Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Postby Tullyboy » Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:36 pm

Expectations are my enemy. They are inherently selfish. They are at the root of my desire to control my wife. And they ruin good things.

Both last night and this morning were times where I had to consciously put aside my expectations. As NO!vember ended yesterday, I had some hope that the cage might come off for some intimate time. I mentioned yesterday that I wasn’t worried about it, and that’s true to a large degree, but I still had some hope.

We went as a family to dinner and then watched the movie “Wonder”. Following the movie our youngest teen camped out chatting with her mother on my side of the bed. That’s always frustrating when I’m trying to get ready for bed, but I’m trying to re-teach myself that those are some of the precious moments and that I need to make room for them.

When my wife did usher little girl out, it had grown late and my expectations were dashed. Even so, Tullygirl helped apply my evening baby lotion and made sure that it was a fun experience.

This morning I woke up early and my hazy brain began creating wonderful, expectation filled, fantasies for how the morning would play out. Surely Tullygirl would take advantage of a quiet morning at home to unlock me. Surely she would take it slow and spend an hour playing with my penis.

As I grew more awake, my now conscious brain recognized the danger in those expectations. I had no right to be creating them. I think of all the times that those expectations led me to manipulate by wife into my form of fantasy. Now Tullygirl is in control and all my expectations could do is set the groundwork for disappointment and bitterness. I did my best to erase them from the thinking and to control the raging hardon that I had.

And I’m glad that I did because Tullygirl apparently wasn’t interested in playing this morning. Oh, she was flirty... touching herself in ways to tease me, saying cute little quips about my caged penis. But no hints of rolling naked in our bed. I’m so glad that I had dispelled my expectations or it could have really hurt.

Instead, we had a lovely walk with the dog and ate a great homemade breakfast with the children. Those must have been the important things to Tullygirl. So they became the important things to me this morning.

My experience has generally been that if I can suppress my expectations, Tullygirl has a way of making reality exceed them. I don’t know if it’ll be today, but when she’s ready I’m certain that she will knock my socks off. If I can only be patient enough to wait on her timing. And I have this little cage that helps remind me that I must be patient.
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