[Yeldarb] Our "New Permanent"

[yeldarb]

A lovely breast worship/naked cuddle session a few hours after that last post, with Sara squeezing and tweaking my nipples quite hard to make my little penis twitch in its cage.

[yeldarb]

I forgot to mention that, at the weekend, when she was re-locking me, as usual I sought assurance from Sara that she really did want this (I'm always in need of that reassurance) and she said she wouldn't be doing it if she didn't want to but asked if she actually enjoyed it or got anything out of it she said that I was "a much better person" from her point of view when locked. I loved hearing that!

[Schnoff]

Boy do I know that "needy submissive" who needs to hear that their D-type is really enjoying with they're doing. "You're not just doing this for me, are you?"

That doubt, it turns out, wasn't helpful, at least not around here. Things are better when I just trust that Bear wouldn't be doing what he's doing if he didn't enjoy it.

Things are a million times better since we added touch points. Saying good morning with some touch and asking how each other's night went. Serving breakfast kneeling. Embracing before Bear leaves for work, again when he comes back with a mutual "how was your day", and a final time before bed to say our "kink mantras" and for Bear to ask me how I've been doing with orgasm denial that day.

s-types thrive on structure, and it's the job of the D-type to provide that structure - in whatever form, that's individual to each couple. The D-type provides the framework for the relationship.

We're getting some kink mentoring, can you tell? I'm loving all of it, and Bear is thriving.

[yeldarb]

Hi Schnoff ... yes, sound of nail being hit on head ... you're absolutely right about structure ... I/we need to work on that. There are various fantasies I have that could be finessed and harnessed to give us that, ones that could be turned in to "low impact" routine rituals in terms of time and effort but definitely ones that punch above their weight in terms of erotic and chastity impact. Thanks for the feedback

[yeldarb]

Saturday, and it has been a quiet week again where T&D is concerned, with Sara too stressed and distracted by work and social activities to have the patience and "bandwidth" for my neediness. I am one week through a (minimum) two week lock-up ... we'll see - maybe she will give me an orgasm, maybe she won't.

[yeldarb]

Seeing her lover again? Really? Maybe ...
Thursday and it has been quite a turbulent week so far, dominated by having to have a very old dog finally put to sleep, for its own good - Sara has rescue Greyhounds as pets and we are now down to one, having been up to three at one stage a few years ago. All very sad.
My cage actually came off in the shower Monday morning ... I think I over did it with the water jet setting! Given what was going on I held back from mentioning it or putting it back on for a few days ... one less pressure for Sara to be bothered with and she says that she has appreciated the thoughtfulness.
It is now Thursday morning and I'm still sans cage but she has said she will put it back on me this evening, though Friday morning is more likely as she has one of her singing commitments tonight and that too tends to pre-occupy her.
However, the HOT NEWS is that she said she had multi-orgasmic wand fun on Monday, while I was at work, and that her favorite ex-lover has been in contact, just on a friendly "how you doing" basis. That has happened before but this time may be different. Last night she said she thought it was time for her to "get her head of her ass" where such considerations were concerned (her words - it has been a year since she last had sex with anyone, at it was him as it happens) and, from what she went on to say, it is clear that she is seriously considering getting "back on the horse"!
I suggested that a tryst at some stage in the next few weeks, to re-new "acquaintance", might be a nice Christmas present to herself and she didn't disagree. I think she's now close to adopting a mind-set whereby the issues that have held her back the past year or two, especially the health issues, simply are what they are and that she has allowed them to dominate her life too much for too long.
If I'm right with that then it would be an awesome step forward for her regardless of whether or not she actually follows through at this time. I think that having allowed her the space to detach herself from "play" without any pressure from me may have allowed her to time and space she has clearly needed to regain some perspective and perhaps reconnect with an inner self that has been buried for too long and become accepting again of her needs as a woman. Regular good sex, whether masturbation, "play" of some (any kind) with me, or getting "well fucked" by a lover (as she used to put it) has always been and is and remains more important to her physical, mental and emotional well being that she has ever realised.
There is no question that she is a considerably more "sexual being" than she has ever really allowed herself to admit or be (apart maybe from the D/s BDSM phase she went through, which is what brought us together six years ago, and subsequent on/off and mostly disappointing attempts at threesome and "HotWife" fun.)
During this conversation last night I confessed that whilst unlocked this week I had played with myself (just can't help it!) but that I hadn't actually had an orgasm behind her back (or anywhere lol!).
She said that was good and appreciated that I could be trusted on the "honor" system, sometimes, but none the less she threatened that she may add another week to the two that are up this coming weekend for not being able to keep my hands off my (indeed her!) penis. We'll see.
The truth is I only really got one decent stiffy and self-edge in that time; until last night that is, when thoughts that she may have a lover again weren't far from the front of my mind - or from my little penis! Though I still managed not to come!
I'm surprised and no little impressed at my self control, though sadly it has as much if not more to do with my inability to perform as anything else!

[Joroincharge]

Sounds ideal to me.

[yeldarb]

Sunday morning and Sara shaved, lotioned and locked me telling me to attach the components while she pleasured herself to four orgasms with her wand ... then came the lock-up!
I'd asked her a couple of times in this weekend about what she'd said about her lover, and she says she means it. S
he has said two or three times that she'll reply to his latest contact, but she hasn't done so yet so I'm going to back off asking if she will as, in all honesty, she probably doesn't really want to yet.
I don't think she's as ready for that as she may have started to think or say; just as she clearly isn't ready for any real good kink play yet and that should probably start between us before she starts to look elsewhere again.
So for now at least I'm going to absolutely back off asking, suggesting or even trying to discuss either the kinky play I am so desperate for or her seeing her lover again.
BTW she had threatened that the latest lock up would be for two more weeks but in recognition of my self restraint she has said at least one more for now then she'll see - as it is that would take me to four weeks since my last orgasm.

[yeldarb]

Well, how time flies - over five weeks since my last post.
Christmas has been and gone, with me unlocked since the end of November as we have just been two busy with work, and too stressed with other distractions.
I've had some orgasms, but nothing since before Christmas ... about two weeks I guess, on the honor system.
All good now though - ordered the new Holy Trainer Version 3 today - through their website - should arrive in 2 days or so, from Switzerland (we are in the UK).
I'll report on the "install" and initial impressions once we have our greedy hands on it - looks like a simple design mod has gone at least some way towards dealing with the slip-out issues some had reported with the V2 - we'll see.
Sara is very excited that maybe, at last, this might be a comfortable and sustainable solution - she's still very positive about wanting to lock my "pathetic little penis" away; she's also in dialog about a possible meet with her 'lapsed' lover, maybe while I am away on biz next week.

[yeldarb]

More flown time! The HT V3 arrived and was an immediate success for both of us. I was away for a week on biz after just a few days, so have now been back in it for about a week and I have to say I love it.
Way more comfortable and easier to use than the CB.
Meanwhile S has fully embraced locking me up after shower time etc., and choosing me a pair of female panties to wear each morning. She used to say that there was no way she could ever accept "her man" wearing panties but look at us now - in fact last night I was at the top of the stairs without my pants on, just my panties de jour and my caged cock protruding. S was at the bottom of the stairs looking up and she actually said what a good look it was, how nice she thought it looked and said that in the future, whenever she is buying new panties for herself she'll try and get a an identical pair for me if they have my size. Wow!
She shaved me Saturday morning the later we were out shopping for a couple of hours and quite unprompted she commented how much she loved knowing I was locked and wearing panties and that nobody else knew, it is our secret - that was a huge remark for me/her/us.
Last week she lay naked on the bed with me naked and locked unable to touch her while she masturbated with her wand. She is multi-orgasmic and came three or four times, each one louder (and she can be loud!). My cock was trying to stiffen but of course couldn't. She's really getting in to certain forms of tease these days.
Last night she had her first fool around with spanking me - I had done something bad later on Saturday and another infraction Sunday morning ... she had always maintained that she could never do that to me as it was wrong and the wrong way round - she had always been the one being spanked by me when we were first together, and still occasionally is these days too.
But I said to bury the preconceptions and conventions and that if she liked it then where is it written that I won't do so too? The fact is that I simply did not know if I would, it was a first for me and I had always assumed it just wouldn't be something I'd like. Wrong.
Whilst she was quite careful and conservative this first time I have to say that I liked it, on several levels ... in the context of having been bad I think the thought of being punished will help focus the mind and it certainly made my little penis all a glow, snugly locked away in its HT3!
I haven't asked her yet, if she enjoyed doing it ... but I will - high risk, but I gots ta know! if she did get anything out of it, on any level.