[cuyahoga] Chapter Two

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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sun Apr 16, 2017 12:14 pm

I am still locked, still rolling with the 24 hours a day, even though this cage is awful for that.

She did let me out for about 40 minutes of playtime on Friday night, and it was a very intense and kinky encounter that I was absolutely not expecting.

Afterward, she started a little conversation about our 'journey,' and it seems she might be warming to the idea of more of this on her own. She might even be entertaining the idea of a "one and done" scenario when it comes to my orgasm, instead of her initial inclination of taking about three months off from this. To hear all of that come from her, without my prompting, was kind of awesome.

She did voice one firm concept, though, and it kind of frightens me, but I still have some time to try to work it out. In the past, when she has finally let me orgasm, I tend to become different immediately. Like so fast, that a couple of times, the next words out of my mouth have conveyed that things have already changed. She warned me that I needed to try very hard to keep that in check, or she simply won't want to play. That shock to her system is too much, and she just doesn't want to live with it. It's not that I'm a horrible person, she made sure to emphasize; it's just that she gets used to the nicer me, and then when the not as nice me is suddenly resurfaced, it's jarring. And it makes it no fun for her.

During the talk, especially because she's starting to consider the "one and done" concept, I did convey that I thought she was being a little too kinky with our encounters. If that was what she wanted, and she was enjoying them, I certainly wouldn't complain. But if this went back to her trying to make this experience special, I wanted her to let at least some of that go, if not a whole lot of it.

I got across the concept, for her consideration and that's where it still stands, that I would like for this time to be the normal, non-effort part, and that when she lets me have an orgasm (or however many she allows) and then cuts me back off, the two weeks after the cut off would be the non normal, more effort required part. And that effort would be two weeks in exchange for the six months of the 'nicer' me that she's getting.

She didn't immediately reject that concept, and I think that in another month, I might be able to get her thinking about that a little more. If she settles down with the kinky turns of play when we do entangle, and lets the more normal encounters happen, maybe she'll start to see how this state of my being could be normalized. And when I first broached the concept of longer denials, that's what I wanted all along. The opportunity to show her a more normal approach. I knew at the time that I would have things I needed to work on internally. I hadn't realized that I would also have to get her to relax a little, and do more enjoying and expending less effort in her attempts to make this "special."

I was grateful for the opportunity to talk about this a little, and an opportunity that I didn't have to create. I've been keeping to my effort of not talking about it, not analyzing it, and I've been winning on that front. So it was really nice that she brought it up, with something to discuss, not a concern of hers as much as something she wanted to clarify. And then I didn't really add much to the conversation. She kept adding topics, and I offered what I could without branching off, and I think that made the whole topic easier for her to digest.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:00 am

8PM tonight will be seven days in the cage, but I'm not counting. I couldn't maintain 24 hours a day this weekend, so I can know that I'm not approaching my 97 hours record from earlier in this month, but I'm also not going to know if that actually occurs, as I'm really not counting. I just know from looking at this journal that the cage went on last Wednesday night, and she hasn't ordered me out of it yet.

No play time since Friday night, but she's been good about letting me cuddle. I know that I need more of that than she does, but last night, instead of me sliding up and silently asking for permission to spoon, she pushed me onto my back, wrapped my arms around her, and then fell asleep while I was holding her. It was awesome. I really need her to want it. And I want her to take it, especially when I'm caged, especially when she isn't interested in sex that evening, or all week. I want her to know that touching me isn't going to start something every time, and I won't be expecting more.

She even took a couple of minutes when we first entangled to make out with me. That's kind of a big step for her, because she expects that to rev me up to the point that I'll expect more, and so she avoids doing that if she knows that we're just destined for sleep in a few minutes. But last night, she wasn't worried about that. She kissed me, and rubbed my body (not my cock). Heavy petting, I believe it is called. A couple of minutes of absolute heaven for me, and then she relaxed into my arms. That's the kind of confidence that I've been hoping she would gain during this time.

She did ask the other night about the cage, and sleeping in it. She is worried that it's been on too long. Eight days is pretty much the longest she's left it on lately, straight through with no break, and just over two weeks with a couple of nights or days out here and there. I assured her that I was, first of all, fine to continue; second, that I wanted it to be her will; and third, that I had asked for "more and meaner", and she was definitely living up to it, and I was very appreciative. I offered no indication of wanting or not wanting out. That was difficult. I really wanted to tell her to just leave me in it for weeks, not days. But that was two nights ago, and she still hasn't told me to take it off.

That's actually a dilemma for me, with this particular cage. It's very rough on my penis. I know that chastity shouldn't always be perfectly comfortable, and I don't want it to be, but there are multiple pinch points on this cage that just shouldn't be there. I like the ache of chastity; the sharp quick jolts of a pinch are not what I'm looking for. So even though I want her to be even meaner and make me wear it even more, I want to wait for that conversation until the MMJB arrives next month. And at the same time, I don't want to discourage her before it arrives. And I don't want to talk to her about it yet, either. I'm torn by this concept, but I think I'm just going to continue to offer up the "love bites" (as I've started calling them), and stick to my plan of the next deep conversation taking place after the MMJB arrives, and I've had a little time to test fit and wear it.

She's starting her period right now, and she never wants interaction during that time. She's also been trying something to help with the intensity of her periods, and her body is still adjusting to the new hormones involved, so last month, she was out of commission for almost two weeks, instead of the normal four or five days. I can't tell her, but I would be in heaven if she would just cuddle with me through her period, and then when it's done, and she's interested, if she would just leave me in the cage for at least one of our play times after that, if not more. I'm almost positive that won't happen, but she has been surprising me lately. Not at every turn, but certainly at many of them.

Not talking about chastity or orgasm denial gets easier and easier the more you practice. Like breaking an addiction. Either that, or I'm far enough into this that I've truly settled down as I hoped I would. And not constantly annoying her with suggestions, or requests, is improving the situation dramatically.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:50 am

THIS CAGE ... my "review"

I'm about 3 weeks from the indicated ship date for my Mature Metal Jailbird. In the meantime, although I own a couple of functional cages, I really only have one to use consistently. And I'm not liking it right now.

I asked for "more and meaner" when it comes to making me wear the cage, and she's stepped up to that request. That part, I'm loving. I really should've waited to ask until I had a decent cage. The extended wear times have really pointed out all the things that are wrong with this one.

First, the hinged ring. I will never, once the MMJB arrives, go with a hinged ring again. On this cage, the ring is held together at the top fairly well, and the junction at the bottom is pretty smooth, but neither is perfect.

The bottom hinge only really bothers me when I get the nocturnal erections. As the cage pushes away from me, taking my balls with it, the hinge gathers a small pinch of scrotal sack, and pulls it, harshly. Fortunately, I can usually get some relief by putting pressure around the area, freeing the pinch of skin, but sometimes it just won't come free, and I have to wait until the erection subsides.

The closing area at the top is not held completely gap free. It doesn't really pinch that much during the day, but when I grow, I seem to expand into the tiny gap, and then it leaves marks.

Along the top two flat steel bars, there are three small pyramids running down the length of each. They were advertised as creating a small amount of pain when swelling, but they don't really do that. Over the time I've had the cage, I've noticed that they seem to help keep the cage in place when I'm not swelling, and I always kind of appreciated that. Now that I've put in some "real" time in the cage, I do not like them. They don't cause pain, but they do cause damage over extended arousal. I'll end up with micro dot bruises from them. I can't feel it, but if my wife ever saw them, they'd probably be a deal breaker on this cage.

This cage has a feature that I'd never seen on a cage before, and not one that I knew about when I ordered it. The pictures don't really show it, so I was surprised. The entire top of the cage opens like a clam shell, "hinged" at the front by two hard wires slid into very tiny holes. The bottom half of the "cage" portion also has the back ring of the cage, making the whole clam shell concept kind of useless for removal. I say kind of, because when I'm excited and trying to take it off, the previously mentioned pyramids do give a grip that can make sliding it off quickly rather difficult and / or painful.

The problem with the clam shell feature is that the "hinge" design allows the top portion of the cage to slide slightly left and right. While this is mostly an aesthetic issue, there are times when that allows the area there to pinch around my urethral opening. Again ... not a 'good' pain.

Lastly, there's the spacer. The problem with it is probably mostly my fault, but it's a problem none the less. The cage was not shipped with an actual spacer. There is a post that holds the A ring closed, and sticks out to run through a hole in the top back of the cage portion. After the A ring is closed, but before the cage is hung on the post, there is room for a small spacer. What I was provided with was a small plastic tube to go around the post, and hold the cage away from the A ring. The tube provided was approximately three inches long, so I had to cut it to the size I needed.

I could find no way to cut the damn thing straight. Knives are inherently an angled surface, so every spacer I tried to make ended up with a little angle to the cut. And that angle always works its way to either the left or the right, allowing the cage portion to make contact with the A ring, and inevitably pinching some scrotal sack.

I have no idea if this will help anyone. The cage I'm wearing is no longer for sale where I purchased it, and I've not seen it for sale anywhere else. I also don't know if I'm wearing a cheap knock off of someone's real and better cage. I assume that I am.

But hopefully, in this diatribe against this cage, there are nuggets of experience that someone will be able to look out for, and avoid the discomforts of this little beast. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
80% of the time I'm in this cage, it's pretty good. It's far better than the others I have. It's a good length, maybe a little long; the A ring is the right size; the bars are spaced far enough to allow some teasing through it, and also minimize ugly and / or painful swelling through them; and it hasn't started corroding ... yet. It's easy to keep it and myself clean, it's easy to hide, and it stays on very well. Of course, it's not secure at all; it's a ball trap with no PA. I can orgasm in it with a vibrator, which is a very new experience for me, although I haven't done it yet. I've edged with it on, but gone no further.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:49 am

Out of 20 days in April, I've been confined for 13 days. This is definitely more than I've ever done, and it's created a new development that I wasn't entirely expecting.

I'm not able to wear 24 hours a day unconditionally, and last evening, I had to pick up the kids from school. So before going to get them, I took the cage off. It's only a thirty minute round trip, but it felt so good to have the cage off. And when I returned home, I did not want to put the cage back on. I have never felt that.

I've tried to explain to my wife that I want her to make me wear the cage until I'm frustrated with it, and then not let me take it off. Make me beg to be out of it, and refuse. Her reaction to that has usually been something along the lines of, "I have a hard time believing you'll ever want to take it off..." I always thought that was a valid point, but I was hoping that she might push me past a limit I'd never experienced.

And now it's happened. I'm frustrated with being in the cage. I want out.
I really want to ask her to let me out, and I really, really want to hear her refuse my request. But I'm afraid to ask because I'm almost certain she'd relent immediately.

So instead I'll just wait, and let what happens happen, and maybe next month, when I've got a better cage, I'll encourage her to be more mean.

Side note : Thank you so much for this forum to vent my feelings. It's really helping me to stop bothering my wife with all of these thoughts and musings. Seriously. I am so appreciative.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:12 am

This morning, after six days of no sexual attention, only cuddling, she finally touched me. She played with me while I was in the cage as we laid in bed. It was only a few minutes, before she had to jump in the shower and get ready for work, but I needed it bad, and was really thankful. I've been trying really hard not to ask for anything, but I did let a "oh, please touch it" slip this morning. Fortunately, she didn't mind, and she did play with it without complaint or hesitation.

We have an evening tonight that isn't a good cage time, and a very kid centric weekend, so the cage will come off this afternoon before I pick up the kids from school, and at least stay off for the weekend. When she started touching it this morning, I moaned and whimpered, and did say, "it's been locked up for so long." She asked how long, and I wanted to tell her, "Nine days, and six of those with absolutely no attention..." I did the best thing, though, and said that I didn't know because I wasn't counting, and then I thanked her for keeping me locked up for so long.

She said, "You're welcome," with a smile in her voice and an affectionate pat on my butt. Hopefully that'll translate into back into the cage early next week, but I'm not going to ask, push, encourage, mention, etc....

Just be. Just live in it. Just enjoy it (which I am very much).
Over two months without an orgasm now, and she seems to be content and happy.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:28 am

When I ordered my MMJB, I was told the wait was seven weeks. Today, is two weeks away from that anticipated date. I'm not really expecting it to ship exactly then, but boy am I hoping they were under promising, with the intention of over delivering.

My horrible cage came off on Friday afternoon, and my wife played with me Friday night with no reciprocation. She's off limits, at the moment, and then we had a great weekend where I was extremely helpful at making it relaxing for her, despite all the things we needed to get done. For that, she rewarded me a bit last night with some attention. Not a lot, but enough to keep me very happy.

Tonight's not a great night for the cage, at least until the children's bed time, but after that, the week becomes open season. I don't know what she'll do, especially after her expression of concern last week.

I did do something this weekend that I really didn't want to do. The attention she gave me on Friday was very special, and I can only hope that I didn't taint that with my action on Sunday. I offered her something big, a huge favor, and in return, requested a specific type of attention be paid to me at some later date. I've been trying so hard not to do that, but the favor I'm doing for her presented itself with the opportunity, and I jumped on the chance before thinking. It's the kind of thing that she wouldn't want me to do without offering something in return, so that's not really the issue. It's just that I've been trying specifically to not direct her, and not make her feel like she's not doing enough. It wasn't until after my lizard brain got what it wanted that I started feeling guilty and kicking myself in the ass for it.

Now I've painted myself into a corner where I'll have to talk to her about it, make sure she understands that all the past baggage surrounding this type of thing isn't there for me, and make sure that it isn't there for her. I nudged her gently on that subject a little after the fact, and she seems to be okay, but I need to probe into that deeper and make sure. I've been so good, and even though it's been a short time that I've been so good, it was already starting to show positive results.

It's amazing what your brain can accomplish before you think ...
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:42 am

After almost a decade of marriage, and almost fifteen years of monogamy, patterns develop. Really? I'm serious.

My wife is still in her time of the month (extended due to recent changes in medication), and last night was, I was told, a pretty heavy day for that. I did not know that when I propositioned her last evening. I've told her that I want things to be on her terms, but I think it's important for her to know that not everything's changed. I should still be able to make advances, whether they're accepted or not. Neither of us is looking for denial to completely change the dynamic of our relationship. She's not expecting me to sit around pining and waiting. I'm sure she still wants to feel wanted, and propositioning her is one of the ways I express my desire.

So last night, it was important for me to make those advances. To let her know I'm not turning into a submissive zombie. She accepted my advances, and we laid down and began rubbing and kissing each other. I took my time, lingering over her amazing breasts and nipples, and then slowly worked my hand down lower until it found the waist band of her panties.

She stopped me there, indicating that she was still bearing a tampon, and that things weren't going to go that way. I relaxed and let her play with me some more, and went back to alternating between kissing her nipples and mouth and neck.

She got worked up though, and eventually, after a little negotiation where I had to promise I wouldn't let my fingers stray more south than her clit, she let me start reciprocating. It was amazing. Mutual masturbation, edges for me, and eventually, a slow drawn out orgasm for her that was incredibly hot. And then a long cuddle.

In our past, when I'm having orgasms, the end of sex usually results in a mess to clean up. I move off the bed to clean me up, she goes to the bathroom to clean her up, and then meeting back in the bed doesn't seem so important. One of the things I love about not having orgasms is the lack of that mess means that neither of us has to get right up. She finished shaking through her orgasm, and rolled right over to wrap ourselves together.

One of the reasons I'm posting about this, though, is that it marks a pretty severe turn of events in our lives. My wife's been on her period for about ten days now (new medication causing a reportedly temporary lingering that is supposed to fade over time). During those ten days, she's had two orgasms, on two different evenings. In our past, her period was always an orgasmless time for her, and ninety-nine percent of the time, a no interaction time for me. Playing with me gets her worked up, she hates to get worked up without resolution, and she hates sex during her period. Her first orgasm was with a wand massager a few days ago, and this second one was via my fingers slowly rubbing her. I'm serious when I say that after fifteen years, that's an absolutely massive turn of events.

I think it's because she's gaining confidence in being able to control the events of our entanglement. She knows I won't push, pout, resent. She knows that in my current state of mind, I'm much more respectful of her wishes, and far more willing to accept the access I'm granted and leave it at that.

And that means that she's had two extra orgasms this month that she wouldn't normally have had. More confidence, more control and more orgasms. I can only hope that she's taking note of that...

Side note : Still no mention or acknowledgement of the cage. I think she's concerned about the wear and tear, both physically and mentally. I developed a little extra acne on the penis over the last course, and she recognized that I wasn't sleeping through the night as well. Additionally, not this time but earlier in this phase, she told me to take it off at one point, and made an off-hand remark about 'you're not wearing the cage for the whole six months of denial, right?' I forget the context at this point. I asked for 'more and meaner', and she's definitely lived up to that, and I've told her that, as well as expressed my appreciation for it. She doesn't know yet that my true desire would be for 'even more and meaner', so there's a good chance I won't see the cage for a while yet (although every time I type that here, I'm in the cage by the end of the day). Of course I'm torn on that issue, with less than two weeks to the anticipated ship date of a (hopefully) much, much better cage.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:28 am

Last night was "date night" for us, and wow, that went well...

Awesome dinner together, really connected. Spent some time standing beside the car in the parking lot, making out and talking, before finally heading home.

Once home, we had a nice long entanglement. It was pretty normal encounter for our vanilla lives, minus my orgasm. The only real difference between last night, and a normal night between us : my wife spent about ten minutes solely focused on me before she let me get at her. That's not something that she normally does, but I think ... think ... that she might be getting in tune with the idea that she likes to tease me. Likes, as in, she gets turned on by it. When she finally let me at her, she was pretty worked up already.

It was just a really great evening. All the way around. For her as well as me.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:38 am

Not a significant update, but something important for me to note, so I'm adding it...

I gave my wife a whole day off yesterday, from the kids, from me, from responsibility in general. I took the kids away from the house, and kept them gone for the entire day. I know that she had a wonderful and relaxing day, and already today, I can tell the she is re-charged.

She's been more affectionate with me. That's a huge thing for me. My chief complaint in our relationship, whether I'm denied or not (though when I'm denied I feel this much more intensely), is that she seems to be able to go for days without showing affection. I know the affection is there, but it doesn't occur to her to express it. And I get to feeling neglected.

I don't mean sexual attention. I mean touches, hugs, kisses.

And today, she's back with a force. She's seeking out opportunities to express that affection with those touches, hugs and kisses. She's recharged. I have to remember this in the future, and consider more opportunities to give her that down time she clearly needs. I never realized that she needed it, or how little she gets, but this revelation is going to go a long way toward my being able to work to produce what I need from her.

I'm actually over the moon with how this has worked out. It's only been this morning so far, and briefly last night, but it's made such an impact on my psyche already. I'll be keeping a close eye on how long it holds up, and looking for opportunities to do it again.

That's all. I wanted to put it here, since this is a record of my successes and failures that I'll hopefully be able to reference in the future.

Side note : Since she started using the cage during this denial period in the middle of March, these last ten days are my longest stretch free, and there's been no acknowledgment of it at all. I have no idea where she is on the subject. Family vacation is coming up toward the end of this week, so I'm pretty sure that there will be no movement on that front in the near future (and again, typing that here has in the past changed that, but also not). Our return from that vacation corresponds closely to the anticipated ship date of my MMJB, so maybe no movement on that front is for the best.

When the MMJB arrives, I will need some "trial runs" to gauge its functionality and predictability, to determine if I can wear it with the same frequency and under the same circumstances that I've established with the current cage. I don't know how she'll react to that, but I do know that the MMJB is going to solve some of the issues she has with the current cage. I'm hoping that'll make her want to use it more often.

Second side note : I am now firmly into uncharted territory. I have never gone this long without having an orgasm. I've settled down significantly, and I am, for the most part, living up to my goal of not over analyzing the situation and just living with it, living in it. It's awesome and amazing. I have talked about it here and there, but definitely not to the overbearing degree that I have in the past. I think she's enjoying it more than she has in the past. I think she's become far more comfortable with the situation.

Thank you. I have no idea who you are, or if you're even listening, but again, the opportunity to get this crap out of my head and into this forum seems to be helping me immensely. Thank you.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Tue May 02, 2017 9:50 pm

The MMJB arrived yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to play with it until tonight. I told my wife I wanted to start some "trial runs" to make sure it was a good cage.

I showed her the security screw, and told her how I thought it might make cuddling more comfortable for her.
"Well, leave it on, and we'll see later."

After watching a show, I propositioned her. "Want to go lay down and let me give you an orgasm?"
She accepted. When we were in the bedroom, I asked her if she wanted me to take the cage off.
"Of course not."

The event lasted longer than I expected, and she almost relented, but she refused to let me take it off and enter her. She made me use a dildo and my tongue to get her off. But first, she let me beg, even encouraged me to beg. To no avail, though. She's enjoying it now. That's starting to get more clear.

We also slid in some talk about the denial. It's been determined that it's a net gain for her, and she's not excited about "pulling the tablecloth out." I gently encouraged her to consider not.
I also mentioned that if her problem was with the way I changed, and my suggestion would've been more of those changes, than she didn't have to give me such a long period of freedom to orgasm to still get fewer changes out of me. She just had to let me orgasm less often.

The recognition of the net gain for her was the big step, though, I think. I hope. If she really does see this all as a net gain for her, then there's room for this to become more.

Also, as we lay cuddling after, she said, "I was mean tonight." "Yes, you were, and it was awesome." "Oh, I wasn't apologizing. And that's odd for me..."
I thanked her, and then reminded her. "More and meaner, honey."

"Okay. I can do that."
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