[cuyahoga] Chapter Two
Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:08 am
I think I need a couple of prologues to properly tell this story (Ironic for someone that would call their tale 'Chapter Two'), but I'll just write this one and see if I can cover everything.
The first part would be my introduction to the concept of 'Orgasm Denial.' When I think about tracing it back to its very roots within me, I come to the Barenaked Ladies. Not kidding. There was a song on the radio back in the day, and one of the lines was 'like Sting, I'm tantric.' My girlfriend at the time thought that Sting was the sexiest person in the world, and so that line always caught her, and then my, attention.
Eventually, I purchased a gift for her, a book on tantric sex and orgasms, but she left me before I could give it to her. Later, I found it in the back of my closet, and out of curiosity, I began perusing it. In the back, there was a pretty detailed description of how to practice a tantric orgasm, and I began following the instructions. Stripping all of the metaphysical non-sense out of it, it was pretty awesome, and eventually I would come to find out that it was simply called 'orgasm delay.'
Years followed, and the internet came out. In searching this new cornucopia for more information on orgasm delay, I wandered into orgasm control and orgasm denial, and suddenly I had a new kink in my playbook. It was about this same time that a new girlfriend entered my life, and she would eventually become my wife. Of course, while I searched and watched and built fantasies around this new kink, I was in a budding relationship that really wasn't ready for that presentation.
Jump around a bit here ... my introduction to chastity actually came long after I'd purchased and discarded my first 'chastity' device. I was raised in a small mid-western town, before the internet, with only Dad's Playboys and my brother's Penthouses as inspiration. When I finally moved to a larger city, and entered my first real sex shop, I was blown away. I have no idea why the only thing that I purchased that day was a Stallion Guard. I have no idea what drew me to it. When I got it home, and put it on, I had no idea what it was for, or how to use it. I pleasured myself a bit while wearing it, maybe a few times, and then eventually discarded it for fear of it being discovered by one of the many roommates that I would have over the next few years.
Of course, with the discovery of orgasm denial came the subsequent discovery of chastity, but honestly, I never put the Stallion Guard history that I had together with it. I have no idea why. Perhaps because I hadn't seen any videos with that particular device in them, and none of the devices I had seen looked anything like it. As such, the first time chastity play actually entered my life with someone else, I would not have said that I had explored it on my own. Whether I would've been right about that, I'll leave to someone else's call. I don't really care.
My introduction to chastity play with someone else was extremely erotic for me, for about an hour, and then took a left turn. My girlfriend (now wife) and I were both working in restaurants at the time, and as most restaurant employees will tell you, we hated Valentine's Day. Far more work than a normal shift, for far less return. All the people that never eat out come out in force on that day, don't know how to act, and don't know how to tip. We were almost a year into our relationship when our first Valentine's Day fell upon us, and of course, we both had to work that evening, so a special dinner for us was out of the question for two reasons. No time, and we didn't really want to contribute to the mayhem that every restaurant experiences.
I convinced her, and still to this day I have no idea how, that instead, after our shift, we should rebel and go to the sex boutique downtown in our big city. We had so much fun holding hands and walking around that store. By this time, and with the help of the internet, I had developed a lot more experience than her, so as we walked around, I spent quite a bit of time telling her what various things were used for.
And then we came to the glass case, and inside was a medieval leather and steel 'chastity' device. She pointed and asked what it was, and I answered.
Her eyes lit up and she said, "That looks like fun." I was nearly overcome. I couldn't believe that this slowly developing fantasy in my mind had actually been broached accidentally, and she approved.
We bought that device, and in the car on the drive home, she couldn't wait. She had it out of the packaging, holding it up and turning it this way and that, trying to figure out where everything went. There were quite a few leather straps in odd directions that made it less obvious to anyone not packing the intended equipment. Once we were home, she couldn't wait to see it on me, and I was thrilled to oblige.
And that's where that particular fantasy took an immediate kick in the nuts, as it were. "Now what do I do with it?" she asked, her face scrunched up like she'd smelled something bad (side note, years later, the leather developed a smell that made her make that face again).
It didn't become an immediately popular device for us to play with, but on occasion, she'd "tell" me to put it on, and then we'd have some interaction where she'd have me take it off rather quickly.
The second part of this 'prologue' to my story would be the slow development of orgasm denial in my relationship with my wife. I do not at all remember the first conversation that we had about it. What I can remember is that at some point, we started playing around with it, and then eventually, it started including that leather and steel cock cage device. I remember that it started with three or four days of me not "allowed" to have orgasms, and slowly stretched to longer time frames. During those times, she'd "make" me wear the contraption for a couple to a few hours a day, never for a full day, and never two days in a row.
I do remember, very distinctly, the first time we crossed that threshold where my brain chemistry changed (assuming that's what it is). She came home after a long day at work, where I'd been free to play video games all day. Normally, I'd glance up from the game as she walked in, offering a quick, 'Hey.' Then she'd go change into something more comfortable, and come sit beside me on the couch, whence I would let her know that as soon as I got to a save point, I'd shut the game off and we'd figure out dinner.
On this day that I'll never forget, I heard her car pull into the driveway, and without thinking, I got off the couch, walked to the video game machine, and turned it off in the middle of a 'level.' I then hurried outside to meet her as she got out of the car, gave her a big hug and kiss, and took her bag off her shoulder to carry inside for her. I hadn't been playing video games all day. Instead, I'd gone to the store and bought something to make for dinner. So I told her to go change into something more comfortable, and when she returned, I was already started on dinner, and had a glass of wine waiting for her.
She sat and we talked as I made the entire dinner, and then we ate, and then I wouldn't let her help clean up, instead pouring her another glass and telling her to tell me more about her day as I cleaned up. She started giggling, and then said something to the effect of, "You really want me to let you orgasm, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"All this," she replied, gesturing to the dinner and the wine, "and meeting me at the car, and just ... tonight ... you."
It hit me. I hadn't even realized all of these things I'd done. I had no idea at the time that I might be experiencing a known change in my brain chemistry leading to this behavior. What I did know, and what I couldn't explain, was that none of this had to do with my wanting an orgasm. I just wanted to do something nice for her. I just wanted to make her happy. I almost cried as I realized what I was doing, and tried to pinpoint the why.
That was around the two week mark of denial, and the first time we'd ever gone that long. I can't tell you if I was pushing for longer at that point in our life together, or if it was mutual, or what. I just remember that was the first time we both experienced the change in attitude that I go through, and we were both shocked by it a little. It would actually be years before I would understand that it might be a hormonal change in my brain chemistry that comes from not having orgasms (and I still haven't found anything to convince me that the "science" claimed to be behind that is real; but I definitely experience it).
Over our almost fifteen years together, we have continued to play with orgasm denial. It's always around four to six weeks, and usually nine to twelve months apart. I have acquired some better chastity devices, and found a favorite, but she never had me wear them more than a few hours, and rarely more than one evening in a row, with the most being three, I think.
Last summer, we were engaged in one of my orgasm denial periods that lasted about five weeks. During it, I told her that I really wanted her to be meaner with the cage. Longer periods. There was a revelation of sorts that started within this conversation. She told me that I'd never asked for that before. I left it alone at the time, not wanting to start a fight, but I could distinctly remember asking multiple times over the many years. She stepped up, and made me wear it for probably ten days of that denial period.
The revelation would come by putting that statement together with another statement she made during a much more recent conversation. I was telling her that sometimes, I would go out on this limb to share a fantasy with her, and she would just forget completely about it. I know my wife very well, and I would never ask her to do something that she was uncomfortable with (and she wouldn't hesitate to tell me), so I wondered what the problem was. She eventually revealed that sometimes, she thought I was just talking in the moment, getting myself hotter by sharing a fantasy. She didn't always realize that I actually wanted her to do some of these things.
I've gotten much more specific now, to say the least, and I think that's what she was thinking when I would ask her to be meaner with the cage.
So now to the meat of our story ... the current situation that has prompted me to start this journal, and the reason for calling this journal 'Chapter Two.' She cut me off recently (February 16th), and then I wanted to have a long talk with her about the length and frequency of our denial periods. We had that talk, and we're going to try something new, and see if it works. I've been locked in my cage since March 12th, with one overnight out, and one full day with the book-ended nights out on March 24th.
In my next entry, I'll give some details on the conversation that we had, and start detailing some of the events and emotions that are occurring.
I want to add something to this prologue, though. I did not come to this conversation as a man looking to improve our intimacy, or our sex life. We already have a good relationship. We communicate well, work as a team against all fronts, we're intimate, we have a solid sex life with good frequency for us, and she's always been playful, willing to try new positions and toys. We are both satisfied, and happy. Lucky, if I'm being honest.
I came to this conversation because I love orgasm denial, and I want to experience more of it, explore more of it, but I cannot do it without her. When I try on my own, I get to around ten days, maybe fourteen, and I say to myself, "This'll feel good enough," and I let myself have an orgasm. I don't know why, but when I'm making it her decision, it's a thousand times easier to control myself. In addition, for us, the chastity has little to do with control. I am naturally submissive, so I do want it to be her decision and it mostly is (except for me asking for more, more, more), but it's not enforcement of the denial. It's more like an additional, constant tease that keeps me hornier, more 'frustrated.'
I can say that I've always been the kind of guy that enjoys the journey more than the destination, so this is very natural for me. The best part of sex for me isn't the orgasm, it's the foreplay and fucking. Why wouldn't I want that to last for as long as possible?
The first part would be my introduction to the concept of 'Orgasm Denial.' When I think about tracing it back to its very roots within me, I come to the Barenaked Ladies. Not kidding. There was a song on the radio back in the day, and one of the lines was 'like Sting, I'm tantric.' My girlfriend at the time thought that Sting was the sexiest person in the world, and so that line always caught her, and then my, attention.
Eventually, I purchased a gift for her, a book on tantric sex and orgasms, but she left me before I could give it to her. Later, I found it in the back of my closet, and out of curiosity, I began perusing it. In the back, there was a pretty detailed description of how to practice a tantric orgasm, and I began following the instructions. Stripping all of the metaphysical non-sense out of it, it was pretty awesome, and eventually I would come to find out that it was simply called 'orgasm delay.'
Years followed, and the internet came out. In searching this new cornucopia for more information on orgasm delay, I wandered into orgasm control and orgasm denial, and suddenly I had a new kink in my playbook. It was about this same time that a new girlfriend entered my life, and she would eventually become my wife. Of course, while I searched and watched and built fantasies around this new kink, I was in a budding relationship that really wasn't ready for that presentation.
Jump around a bit here ... my introduction to chastity actually came long after I'd purchased and discarded my first 'chastity' device. I was raised in a small mid-western town, before the internet, with only Dad's Playboys and my brother's Penthouses as inspiration. When I finally moved to a larger city, and entered my first real sex shop, I was blown away. I have no idea why the only thing that I purchased that day was a Stallion Guard. I have no idea what drew me to it. When I got it home, and put it on, I had no idea what it was for, or how to use it. I pleasured myself a bit while wearing it, maybe a few times, and then eventually discarded it for fear of it being discovered by one of the many roommates that I would have over the next few years.
Of course, with the discovery of orgasm denial came the subsequent discovery of chastity, but honestly, I never put the Stallion Guard history that I had together with it. I have no idea why. Perhaps because I hadn't seen any videos with that particular device in them, and none of the devices I had seen looked anything like it. As such, the first time chastity play actually entered my life with someone else, I would not have said that I had explored it on my own. Whether I would've been right about that, I'll leave to someone else's call. I don't really care.
My introduction to chastity play with someone else was extremely erotic for me, for about an hour, and then took a left turn. My girlfriend (now wife) and I were both working in restaurants at the time, and as most restaurant employees will tell you, we hated Valentine's Day. Far more work than a normal shift, for far less return. All the people that never eat out come out in force on that day, don't know how to act, and don't know how to tip. We were almost a year into our relationship when our first Valentine's Day fell upon us, and of course, we both had to work that evening, so a special dinner for us was out of the question for two reasons. No time, and we didn't really want to contribute to the mayhem that every restaurant experiences.
I convinced her, and still to this day I have no idea how, that instead, after our shift, we should rebel and go to the sex boutique downtown in our big city. We had so much fun holding hands and walking around that store. By this time, and with the help of the internet, I had developed a lot more experience than her, so as we walked around, I spent quite a bit of time telling her what various things were used for.
And then we came to the glass case, and inside was a medieval leather and steel 'chastity' device. She pointed and asked what it was, and I answered.
Her eyes lit up and she said, "That looks like fun." I was nearly overcome. I couldn't believe that this slowly developing fantasy in my mind had actually been broached accidentally, and she approved.
We bought that device, and in the car on the drive home, she couldn't wait. She had it out of the packaging, holding it up and turning it this way and that, trying to figure out where everything went. There were quite a few leather straps in odd directions that made it less obvious to anyone not packing the intended equipment. Once we were home, she couldn't wait to see it on me, and I was thrilled to oblige.
And that's where that particular fantasy took an immediate kick in the nuts, as it were. "Now what do I do with it?" she asked, her face scrunched up like she'd smelled something bad (side note, years later, the leather developed a smell that made her make that face again).
It didn't become an immediately popular device for us to play with, but on occasion, she'd "tell" me to put it on, and then we'd have some interaction where she'd have me take it off rather quickly.
The second part of this 'prologue' to my story would be the slow development of orgasm denial in my relationship with my wife. I do not at all remember the first conversation that we had about it. What I can remember is that at some point, we started playing around with it, and then eventually, it started including that leather and steel cock cage device. I remember that it started with three or four days of me not "allowed" to have orgasms, and slowly stretched to longer time frames. During those times, she'd "make" me wear the contraption for a couple to a few hours a day, never for a full day, and never two days in a row.
I do remember, very distinctly, the first time we crossed that threshold where my brain chemistry changed (assuming that's what it is). She came home after a long day at work, where I'd been free to play video games all day. Normally, I'd glance up from the game as she walked in, offering a quick, 'Hey.' Then she'd go change into something more comfortable, and come sit beside me on the couch, whence I would let her know that as soon as I got to a save point, I'd shut the game off and we'd figure out dinner.
On this day that I'll never forget, I heard her car pull into the driveway, and without thinking, I got off the couch, walked to the video game machine, and turned it off in the middle of a 'level.' I then hurried outside to meet her as she got out of the car, gave her a big hug and kiss, and took her bag off her shoulder to carry inside for her. I hadn't been playing video games all day. Instead, I'd gone to the store and bought something to make for dinner. So I told her to go change into something more comfortable, and when she returned, I was already started on dinner, and had a glass of wine waiting for her.
She sat and we talked as I made the entire dinner, and then we ate, and then I wouldn't let her help clean up, instead pouring her another glass and telling her to tell me more about her day as I cleaned up. She started giggling, and then said something to the effect of, "You really want me to let you orgasm, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"All this," she replied, gesturing to the dinner and the wine, "and meeting me at the car, and just ... tonight ... you."
It hit me. I hadn't even realized all of these things I'd done. I had no idea at the time that I might be experiencing a known change in my brain chemistry leading to this behavior. What I did know, and what I couldn't explain, was that none of this had to do with my wanting an orgasm. I just wanted to do something nice for her. I just wanted to make her happy. I almost cried as I realized what I was doing, and tried to pinpoint the why.
That was around the two week mark of denial, and the first time we'd ever gone that long. I can't tell you if I was pushing for longer at that point in our life together, or if it was mutual, or what. I just remember that was the first time we both experienced the change in attitude that I go through, and we were both shocked by it a little. It would actually be years before I would understand that it might be a hormonal change in my brain chemistry that comes from not having orgasms (and I still haven't found anything to convince me that the "science" claimed to be behind that is real; but I definitely experience it).
Over our almost fifteen years together, we have continued to play with orgasm denial. It's always around four to six weeks, and usually nine to twelve months apart. I have acquired some better chastity devices, and found a favorite, but she never had me wear them more than a few hours, and rarely more than one evening in a row, with the most being three, I think.
Last summer, we were engaged in one of my orgasm denial periods that lasted about five weeks. During it, I told her that I really wanted her to be meaner with the cage. Longer periods. There was a revelation of sorts that started within this conversation. She told me that I'd never asked for that before. I left it alone at the time, not wanting to start a fight, but I could distinctly remember asking multiple times over the many years. She stepped up, and made me wear it for probably ten days of that denial period.
The revelation would come by putting that statement together with another statement she made during a much more recent conversation. I was telling her that sometimes, I would go out on this limb to share a fantasy with her, and she would just forget completely about it. I know my wife very well, and I would never ask her to do something that she was uncomfortable with (and she wouldn't hesitate to tell me), so I wondered what the problem was. She eventually revealed that sometimes, she thought I was just talking in the moment, getting myself hotter by sharing a fantasy. She didn't always realize that I actually wanted her to do some of these things.
I've gotten much more specific now, to say the least, and I think that's what she was thinking when I would ask her to be meaner with the cage.
So now to the meat of our story ... the current situation that has prompted me to start this journal, and the reason for calling this journal 'Chapter Two.' She cut me off recently (February 16th), and then I wanted to have a long talk with her about the length and frequency of our denial periods. We had that talk, and we're going to try something new, and see if it works. I've been locked in my cage since March 12th, with one overnight out, and one full day with the book-ended nights out on March 24th.
In my next entry, I'll give some details on the conversation that we had, and start detailing some of the events and emotions that are occurring.
I want to add something to this prologue, though. I did not come to this conversation as a man looking to improve our intimacy, or our sex life. We already have a good relationship. We communicate well, work as a team against all fronts, we're intimate, we have a solid sex life with good frequency for us, and she's always been playful, willing to try new positions and toys. We are both satisfied, and happy. Lucky, if I'm being honest.
I came to this conversation because I love orgasm denial, and I want to experience more of it, explore more of it, but I cannot do it without her. When I try on my own, I get to around ten days, maybe fourteen, and I say to myself, "This'll feel good enough," and I let myself have an orgasm. I don't know why, but when I'm making it her decision, it's a thousand times easier to control myself. In addition, for us, the chastity has little to do with control. I am naturally submissive, so I do want it to be her decision and it mostly is (except for me asking for more, more, more), but it's not enforcement of the denial. It's more like an additional, constant tease that keeps me hornier, more 'frustrated.'
I can say that I've always been the kind of guy that enjoys the journey more than the destination, so this is very natural for me. The best part of sex for me isn't the orgasm, it's the foreplay and fucking. Why wouldn't I want that to last for as long as possible?