[Reinest] My journey

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[Reinest] My journey

Postby Reinest » Fri Dec 23, 2016 10:27 pm

I'm going to start this by saying I'm not a writer, and posting on a public forum like this is a rarity for me. So please forgive the eyesore I'm sure I'm about to type up.

Anyways, first some short history. My wife and I have been happily married for just over a year. As it turned out things were not as happy as I thought. Although we have multiple issues, the only two I'm going to mention here are that she feels I don't attend to her needs the way she prefers. The second being that we agree that I masturbate at the wrong times. I use it as a form of stress relief, but since we're trying to have a child, it interferes with my ability to finish when she wants me to, especially since we also have an annoying habit of wanting sex at the opposite time as each other.

During our relationship we've toyed with chastity, but never anything more than a few hours at a time. After reading of how it's helped others with their relationships, I suggested to my wife that we try it a bit more seriously (We're also getting other professional help as well). Partly to keep my hands off myself, and I'm hoping that not being able to focus on myself will help me be more in tune with her wants and needs in the bedroom. I suppose I'll see if doing this makes any positive difference in our relationship, fingers crossed, here's hoping.
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Re: [Reinest] My journey

Postby Reinest » Wed Dec 28, 2016 1:26 pm

So, for the first week and a half things were actually pretty good. My wife seems to enjoy having more control of when bedtime activities happen. On my end I've found that not getting off as often does seem to increase my desire for my wife, so that's good. Unfortunately, today was not so good. Last night wife and I made love, and i got off. For some reason the day after I get off I tend to really want to get off again. Add to it that I woke up with a cold this morning, and I didn't get caged. So while wife was away I did play. I want to say my willpower is low because I'm sick, but I know that's just an excuse. I'm locked back up now (because guilt is a hell of a motivator) but I feel bad about having not caged myself first thing this morning. I'm hoping my failure today will help motivate me to not repeat it. We'll see.
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Re: [Reinest] My journey

Postby Shepherdsflock » Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:38 pm

Keep at it. My wife loves knowing I'm chaste for her, but she's completely hands-off about it. She expects me to do it for her; it's not something she does to me. She won't force me to lock up, but I catch heck if she finds out I'm unlocked for anything other than hygiene or exercise.

Since I essentially self-lock, it took a lot of self-discipline and ups and downs of success and failure to train myself to lock up immediately after being out for any reason. On the rare occasions when my wife would let me have intercourse, I struggled to force myself to lock back up immediately afterward, but eventually got to that point.

I have the same problem as you. Once I have an orgasm, I want another one pretty soon after. Usually the next morning when I wake up.

Talk to your wife and see if she would be willing to remind you afterward to lock up. Having some accountability to her would help.

It took many months for my wife to be actively involved in my chastity. She liked it from the beginning, but was too shy and passive to be assertive about it. Now she wouldn't have it any other way, and if she suspects I'm not locked she will ask.
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Re: [Reinest] My journey

Postby Reinest » Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:08 pm

Thanks Shaperdsflock for the advice, I'll see if I can apply some of it to my own situation.

So an update on how things are going. After doing some exploring of other topics here, I found myself a cheap knock off I wanted to try out. Shorter and more open cage, slightly larger ring, cylinder lock (I don't remember the actual term for it, but i think that's descriptive enough), etc. After having it on about 80% over the course of this last week, I've decided I like it so much better than my previous cage. The fit alone is leaps and bounds ahead. I've also tried wearing it to bed, and while it does wake me up during the night, it's not as ball crushingly painful as my last cage, tolerable enough for me to keep on while things settle down to the point I can fall asleep again.. My wife likes it too. The more open design lets her tease me more when she wants to, and she likes how it makes it easier for me to clean up in the shower.

With this new change, my wife and I agree that having me locked up more often is much more feasible than before, and we're going to try having me locked up with the exceptions of when she wants access, during times when it would be too inconvenient, and times it would be too unsafe to have the cage on. I'm not sure yet exactly how this will affect our relationship, but we're both looking forward to finding out. The journey continues!
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Re: [Reinest] My journey

Postby locked4her55 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:58 pm

Sounds like you two are off to a good start. My wife also like the openness of a metal device for the same reasons. Wasn't until I suggested taking the next step and investing in a custom stainless steel CD that she told me how much she disliked the plastic one. Who knew. :shock:

Best of luck on your journey.
Happily secured since 4/2010 :-)
Have worn CB3000, CB6000s & MM Jail Bird
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