[Wraith]Eliminating my delayed ejaculation

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[Wraith]Eliminating my delayed ejaculation

Postby wraith » Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:35 pm

Hi everyone,

So the chastity cage was my idea as a way of stopping my masturbating. It was just too easy when I was alone and feeling down. Then I'd pull up erotic stories and fantasize heavily. My cock got more used to my hand than a woman and the erotic stories always needed to get more extreme. It would take me 40 mins to cum, if I could cum. So this was my attempt at a more permanent solution with my fiancée. She's beautiful and mostly supportive. She thought this was a wacky idea and at first would poke fun at me for it. To be honest, that hurt since I was doing this to make our sex life better.

She knows where the key is in the drawer and my key ring. She hasn't asked for it and still thinks it's weird, but is no longer making fun of me for wearing it. It would be hotter if she also had a key and made it more of a game, but I'm not trying to trade in one fetish for another. I'm just trying to rewire my brain with regard to what brings me pleasure and have more typical sex life with her.

She actually says that she's happier with fewer orgasms because they're more meaningful lately. I used to shower her with orgasms as a way to compensate for when I couldn't orgasm. Made me feel like more of a man when I could give her a dozen to distract her from the fact that I didn't have one. It reassured her that I did love her and that it was me, not her, at fault. But life can't go on forever like that and it leaves me frustrated and more likely than ever to end my frustrations when she isn't around. So that just fed the cycle and depression more.

So far, it has improved things. I came in 10 mins after having had no sex for nearly 3 weeks. That wasn't intentional, but conflicting schedules caused that. I came in 20 mins, after she had two already, the following week. She was thrilled at that. Of course, I ate her to 4 more after that. I can't expect her to go cold turkey either. I very recently upgraded to metal JB knock off. Definitely the most comfortable for sleeping. It allows almost no room to grow, but no hinges to pinch and no rattling lock because it's built into it. The weight is annoying when exercising though.

I also have a biological condition that causes a hormone imbalance. I have the testosterone level of a 20 yr old along with other hormones. My body has tricked itself into believing I'm younger than I am. My skin, muscle tone, etc is of someone 20 yrs younger than me. The joke is that eyes and bones don't regenerate like soft tissue, so I have a poor left knee and wear glasses. Lol, can I trade the youthful skin for my eyes, please!?! Needless to say, that my libido is also of someone younger so not masturbating often is its own punishment for masturbating too much before.

Hoping in the end, that either the chastity cage is a normal thing with us both moving forward. I'd like to NOT be anxious about activity because I'm worried that I won't be able to cum. It's distracting and I lose focus while having sex. Then my hard on is standing there mocking me, "Dude, I'm ready to go! This is on you!" I just want to be able to cum like everyone else. I want to worrying about coming too soon, not whether I'll cum at all.

Ultimately, I'd like to end up in a place where it's not needed anymore. Then maybe it could become just a little game before sex instead or gather dust in a drawer because it's no longer needed.

Wraith
Wearing a jailbird w/integrated lock 24x7
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Re: [Wraith]Eliminating my delayed ejaculation

Postby wraith » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:56 pm

Update,

So last night, she came back from spin all hot, sweaty and out of breathe. Yes, it's a turn on. I started peeling her clothes off and going down on her. The idea being that I would give her a few before jumping in the shower together. The key to my cage was on my key ring downstairs, so fuck it, I wasn't planning on actually fucking her until after the shower anyway. I've had mini erections in my cage before, but this was the first time that we've done anything with it still on though. Holy shit, that hurts!! I absolutely love to go down on her and I can give her up to 8 or 10 orgasms with just my tongue and fingers. But after just 4, I had to take it off because of the pain.
I didn't start this as part of an orgasm denial fantasy, but to help me maintain a no pleasure policy without it being a shared pleasure. I didn't want her to see, but there was a little bit of blood on the tip of my penis once I removed it. There's never been blood before, not even during nocturnal erections. There were no cuts that I could see and no blood since wiping it gently away. It's a small cage, 1.75in length. I'm a huge grower. I am about 2in flaccid and just shy of 8in fully erect. Yes, usually the first time a GF sees me get out of the shower she has a funny look on her face like she's trying to figure out a puzzle, like where did your cock go? I'm used to it.
I got the short length cage because everyone said that is the way to go to prevent too much pain and even at nighttime, it's not bad. Get up, go pee, go back to bed, all good. But this really hurt and I don't think it should bleed when there are no visible signs of a cut. Almost like pressure forced a drop or two of blood out because of compression.

Thoughts?
Wearing a jailbird w/integrated lock 24x7
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Re: [Wraith]Eliminating my delayed ejaculation

Postby TwistedMister » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:44 am

Sometimes, during periods of intense arousal the pressure may be strong enough to result in small amounts of blood being expressed into the urethra. This blood may then be expelled by the flow of pre-seminal fluid, presented in semen after ejaculating, or during urination (usually less noticeable).
07/01/17 "I *really enjoy* teasing you, getting you all worked up and then leaving you hanging." --Mrs. Twisted
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Re: [Wraith]Eliminating my delayed ejaculation

Postby wraith » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:52 pm

This is working very well. The lack of any kind of stimulation is working very well. She now holds the key, but really that's a side note. We had a great weekend and awesome sex. I can't remember the last time I was able to come twice in a weekend. I've always been incredibly self conscious about the delayed ejaculation. I love blowjobs as much as anyone, but I worry about her being down there for so long. That gets in my head and there's no chance I can orgasm that way. We talked about it and might actually try for a full blowjob next week while in Napa.
She doesn't like chastity, but it's entirely from an unselfish position. She worries about it hurting me. It does, but if I told her that, she would freak a bit from worry. She wants me to be able to masturbate, but she knows why that's a bad thing at the moment and she is seeing the results and realizes that it's working. She's enjoying being able to make me cum more easily. She asked me why I put it back on after sex since there's no danger of me masturbating while she's there. I told her sensory deprivation is part of it. It is, but I feel safer and better with it on because of the success so far.
Side note: so my ex girlfriend was in town and she hates that I'm still friends with most of my exes. She knows I'd never cheat, but she'd prefer if I never talked to any of them again. So I told her my ex and I were grabbing a bite and then her boyfriend was joining us for a drink after. After 5 mins of arguing, she asked for the key. "You won't be needing it, right?" She even said that I'd never cheat on her, but I know it bothers her, even though it shouldn't. So she decided to get back at me by keeping the key. She still has it and I'm ok with that. It's a journey I'd like to be a shared one. The goal is some thing for both of us. The makeup sex this weekend was so worth it!

TwistedMister,
Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the knowledge and insight. I think we'll stick with a little tease for now and avoid full blown sex while caged until it doesn't result in drops of blood. If she sees that, she'll insist on it coming off.
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