[guest] My trials

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Guest
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:30 pm

[guest] My trials

Post by Guest »

I don't even know how to start. This isn't my first time in a chastity belt but this is the first time that I really am taking it seriously besides just a sexual Outlet. Prior to this me and my wife had tried a chastity belt but because I wasn't getting the relief for sexual fantasies I thought would come from wearing a chastity belt I became very cranky so we stop trying.

This new adventure that we started actually began Monday this time I'm hoping to get more out of being denied as far as not looking at the porn anymore and stop masturbating. As silly as saying or typing this I'm hoping to use this website as an outlet and maybe even us support

As of yet I don't know how on board my wife is seems less forceful than I would hope so I'm hoping she becomes more comfortable the longer we play. She said she really likes to play with the chastity belt but I get so cranky and so caught up in the game that she doesn't like it. I know there needs to be a lot more patience on my end with the crankiness because I want her to take complete control of it but then on the same note I get really nervous because what if she really takes me up on the offer. But then I'm conflicted because I also don't want her to be wishy-washy and I want her to take it seriously and I want her to take control. So so very mixed ball of emotions that I don't know how to handle sometimes. Also another big fear is if I wear the chastity belt will we stop fooling around or not fool around as much because currently I am usually the one who insinuate having or doing sexual activities or foreplay? I just don't want to her to forget.

Over all after rereading this, which I think it's the point, I have a lot to work on for me to get this.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Mar 16, 2016 8:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tom Allen
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Re: untitled (on purpose )

Post by Tom Allen »

Hi Guest - If you have intended to start a blog here, please make sure to read the guidelines at the top.

viewtopic.php?f=15&t=18227

Also, please change the subject line to have it match the format that we have outlined.

Have fun.
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Guest
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Re: [guest] My trials

Post by Guest »

My fault, I hope that fixes it.
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Shepherdsflock
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [guest] My trials

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Guest, I think you need to take charge of your fears. If you're afraid that you and your wife won't play around while you're in chastity, then pick a time when you know she isn't planning on unlocking you and start playing with her. Don't ask to be unlocked, just focus on her and have some fun.

It sounds like you are still operating in a mindset that you need an orgasm to enjoy sex. It might be difficult to convince her, but I think being forced to spend a month locked up would help you immensely. After you have made love several times with your wife with no ability to have an erection or orgasm, you begin to accept that your wife has taken the place of your penis as the sole source of sexual pleasure in your life. Whatever pleasure you get from pleasing your wife and being touched, kissed, and held by her becomes your new sexual reality. Once you get to the point where you can surrender to this, it becomes much easier to enjoy chastity.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [guest] My trials

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Guest wrote:Also another big fear is if I wear the chastity belt will we stop fooling around or not fool around as much because currently I am usually the one who insinuate having or doing sexual activities or foreplay? I just don't want to her to forget.
Guest, I think you're struggling to understand one of the key benefits of chastity: making love without a focus on you. Once you begin to show your wife that your are still eager to make love to her even if you don't get to be unlocked, things will change a lot. At least, they did for us. My wife feels loved and cherished when she sees me being unselfish. She loves being pleased by her man knowing that he's doing it without being motivated by an expectation that I will receive something in return. This is what makes it special and fun for your wife and will get her to participate more eagerly.

You just have to man up and stay locked for a while. My wife is very submissive, and even though at first I, too, wanted her to control my sexuality, I had to play the hand I was dealt. She just isn't dominant enough to force me to stay chaste. She loved the benefits of it, but she couldn't bring herself to force me. So, I had to be the leader and enforce my own chastity. If she asked if I wanted to be unlocked during sex, I had to learn to say no and really mean it. I had to learn to insist on staying chaste during the first few weeks as she overcame her fears that it might hurt me.

You just have to decide how far YOU are willing to go to make chastity work for you and your wife. If your wife isn't as dominant as you would like, then you need to be the one to adapt. After six months of chastity play, I developed a strong enough devotion to its benefits that I manage the whole thing. I keep the keys, I unlock for daily cleaning, I monitor myself for chafing, and I never say a word about being unlocked to her. She has a full plate managing our home and caring for our kids. Managing my chastity was an additional responsibility that she just didn't need. She loves the benefits of it, and she really wanted it to continue, so I had to take leadership and responsibility for it.

What it all boils down to is, even if she has the keys, nobody can truly keep you chaste except you. Even without keys, you can find a way out of the device. It's your determination to stay chaste for her that will make it work. Most women are not naturally dominant, and it sounds like your wife is not. That's fine, you don't need to force her to be something she is not. Take it upon yourself to be the kind of man she wants. She still wants you to initiate, so initiate sex with chastity. She'll probably love being made love to by a husband who has no motivation to stick his penis in her or demand oral or anything else.
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Re: [guest] My trials

Post by newbie »

Shepherdsflock wrote:Guest, I think you need to take charge of your fears. If you're afraid that you and your wife won't play around while you're in chastity, then pick a time when you know she isn't planning on unlocking you and start playing with her. Don't ask to be unlocked, just focus on her and have some fun.

It sounds like you are still operating in a mindset that you need an orgasm to enjoy sex. It might be difficult to convince her, but I think being forced to spend a month locked up would help you immensely. After you have made love several times with your wife with no ability to have an erection or orgasm, you begin to accept that your wife has taken the place of your penis as the sole source of sexual pleasure in your life. Whatever pleasure you get from pleasing your wife and being touched, kissed, and held by her becomes your new sexual reality. Once you get to the point where you can surrender to this, it becomes much easier to enjoy chastity.
I couldn't agree with this more. When my wife and I started out with chastity (it was all my idea, my wife was really NOT into it at all, see my Journey entries) it took a long long while for us to understand that I don't need an erection or orgasm to achieve real sexual pleasure with her, and for her to understand that she doesn't need PIV sex to achieve incredible orgasms, and that she shouldn't feel guilty for not having me cum. We have just very recently gotten to this point, and the last time we were together for sex she was completely nude receiving oral and I was fully clothed and locked so she would know I had no intention achieving orgasm and it was incredible. I was super turned on by the whole situation, and she was completely satisfied.
My complete focus now is on my wife and her pleasure, whether it's sexual or just in every day life. I don't need anything else.
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Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.
Guest
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:30 pm

Re: [guest] My trials

Post by Guest »

Thank you for those comments, I REALLY appreciate it. That's the motivation that I think I needed to hear. It's been 4 days today, and i know that doesn't seem that long to some, it was hard this morning. We had PIV sex last night and it was a real challenge to put the chastity belt back on. But after my wife had one of the biggest orgasm, I still can't believe how wet she got, she gave me a choice if I wanted to go or not but she said regardless I was going right back in the chastity. I hesitated, she than said that was the answer she needed. I put the chastity belt back on, but the next morning she told me that I want going to go last night any way, which made me extremely horny. She is leaving in 2 weeks and is probing me to see if I could last until after she comes back. The thought itself is very erotic, but is that biting off to much to soon?

I'm nearly at the point of wearing it all day, even at night,. We had a little bit of an issue yesterday with a pain wearing my chastity, so I didn't wear it to work. After a few hours everything felt ok and I put it back on right after work. It was back off for love making session and than right back on.

On another note as I keep writing this, my wife said she was very proud of me about being good about not asking our hounding her all the time about sex. It is something that I'm working really hard at, since I know this is part of my down fall with chastity., so it made me feel really good. I'm trying to focus on productive things to do, like last night I made dinner, cleaned the house. Just trying to keep my mind off sex, but it's difficult. As I said earlier this morning was very difficult and I could feel me staying to come a little unhinged, but I changed the thought process and after a while cooled down.

I want to say thank you again for the support, I may just tell her to keep me in my chastity and wait until she gets back to go but IDK though. I will keep you posted. 4 says with no orgasm.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [guest] My trials

Post by Shepherdsflock »

If you can stay locked up, I would do it. She'll be really proud of you and you'll feel a big sense of achievement.
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