[jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Mon Feb 01, 2016 5:50 am

My Wife is having some issues with her part of the deal. Nothing that puts what we do at risk, just the way she does it is beginning to evolve.

In a nutshell my Wife is almost insufferably nice :D

The idea of denying me is giving her problems, even though I have asked her to limit and control my orgasms. We made love last night and I was relieved to be able to concentrate on her pleasure enough that she came before I did, and I was able to hold off altogether. She was disappointed that I had not also orgasmed even though it is only a week since my last.

The point is one of my goals in this arrangement of ours is that I want my orgasms to be special, memorable, earned. In my own head one week doesn't fulfil any of those criteria. The orgasm would have been 'nice' but not memorable. Although in the week I did give my Wife three orgasms I still do not think I deserved one of my own.

My Wife told me that she does not like using me for her own pleasure. A programmed by culture feeling perhaps? Success is recorded with an orgasm and if either of us don't cum that makes us a failure?

But I have a need for her to control my orgasms, to not worry about my pleasure. I have explained before how much I enjoy her orgasms, especially when I have not had one for about three weeks or more. So being made to orgasm last night would have actually been a punishment.

I have asked her to deny me until my birthday in May. This might be a bit extreme but I really want to demonstrate to her what actually happens to me over such an extended period. Heck, I want to find out what it is like myself. It represents just over double my current 'record' of denial of just under six weeks.

I hope she agrees, but also I hope this does not mean she will deny herself. She can use me as much as she wants to.
Living in Germany but speaking with a decidedly English accent.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby sexy_cheese » Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:51 am

In a nutshell my Wife is almost insufferably nice


I have this too - although over time, that has been slowly changing. She still frequently asks 'does it hurt' and 'it's not damaging you' and other such, but when she's in full-on tease mode, she will. not. stop.

My wife has been learning (or unlearning) things so that she is acutely aware my chastity is actually for her benefit - I can't do anything without her knowing, and when I do, it is together and with her permission - not in a strict sense, but in an 'I'll allow it because we both want it' sense.

It's been a great read of your experiences so far, and I definitely look forward to more!
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:35 am

That really made me smile. The first time my Wife started seriously teasing me she couldn't stop giggling, and like you just said, she wouldn't stop, it just went on and on. It got to the stage where she just lightly brushed my nipples and my legs would twitch all over the place. By then her giggling was almost uncontrollable!

As for unlearning things I seriously think she is going through that phase at the moment. She needs to let go of the programmed societal response that sexual success is achieved through ejaculation. I am trying to convince her that I am totally OK with her using me for her own sexual needs as this is exactly what I want, and I am far happier being allowed to do this than if she was to insist on making me have an orgasm. Twisted Mister has sent me some good advice about this, that I should encourage her each time I pleasure her without any reciprocation, that I should tell her how much I enjoyed the experience.

I am glad you have enjoyed what we are up to so far. We are still obviously very new to all of this but I am thoroughly enjoying our progress. I am so lucky that my Wife agreed to be a part of this.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby sexy_cheese » Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:38 am

Jasmic68 wrote:It got to the stage where she just lightly brushed my nipples and my legs would twitch all over the place. By then her giggling was almost uncontrollable!


Are you me? My wife does this - she is finding erogenous zones on me even I never knew existed! I twitch and spasm all over the place! :D

Gentle encouragement is great - something I do too (I should post an entry about this) as she knows that I am both enjoying my restraint and she is enjoying her own pleasure. Small steps, like you said.
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:13 am

sexy_cheese wrote:Are you me? My wife does this - she is finding erogenous zones on me even I never knew existed! I twitch and spasm all over the place! :D


haha! I love it when I read other peoples posts who have had a similar experience to mine and the fact that others have the same reaction to mine is brilliant. It has really helped me get my head around what I am trying to achieve and to let my Wife define the pace rather than trying to rush her.

Thanks Sexy Cheese!
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:29 am

I have just had a trip back to England and had the experience of going through Airport security with my Holy Trainer on. It was unplanned though, my Wife forgot to take the key with her! She thought it was hilarious that I might have to show someone what I was wearing and explain what it was so she was probably a bit disappointed all I got was a funny look from the guard by the body scanner. She did say that she would not try it flying into America though, we have experience with the border guards and they seem to have been chosen for having absolutely no sense of humour at all whatsoever!

Anyway, it meant that while we were back visiting friends and having business meetings for my Wife's own ventures I was obviously not going to be getting anything other than some caged teasing. She did have fun with me on the Friday evening when we went to bed, giggling as she usually does while producing the usual mound of excited flesh below my device ring. She kept it to a minimum as we were in a friends spare room and she has two young children, so moans of mixed despair and frustrated excitement from me would not have been appropriate!

It also means a second extended period wearing the Holy Trainer. Last time it was 9 days and this time it has now been 7 so far. I am not sure when she will tell me to take it off this time to make sure everything is OK, but so far there has been no smell build up or other issues, so in a way I hope she just leaves me locked up.

We had a brief chat on Saturday about how my Wife has some issues about denying my orgasms while having her own. She seems to think that she is being cruel, and the idea of letting me make love to her but not be allowed to cum is really giving her trouble. She has said that she isn't that type of person, that she does not want to be cruel. The problem is that I am not the one who has a problem with her doing that, she is, so I have been trying to put her mind at rest. An email I sent her with a link to the Only She Cums blog (a post about their current dice game) has apparently helped, but she did not say anything about my idea of me being denied until my birthday in May.

We went to a large departments store to get her some nice clothes for work and she was so happy with how helpful I was that She bought me a nice pair of women's trousers and a blouse. She still appears to be enjoying encouraging me to cross dress and I am happy to do so. They are more wearable than the two dresses she bought me before Christmas as they are definitely feminine but not so obviously going against common clothing practice. She has talked about taking me out while I am 'stealth' cross dressing, in clothes that are likely to raise eyebrows but not hackles, if you get my meaning. I need a jacket and shoes before we can do that though.

A fun weekend but it is good to be home again. Now I have my chores to get on with.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Thu Feb 11, 2016 2:43 am

My weight loss continues. Chastity is honestly the best motivator and trainer for the attitude needed to lose weight I have ever come across. Wearing my HTv2 and accepting my Wife's pace and lead in everything has taught me patience like nothing has ever done before. Losing weight is slow, boring, hard work and brilliant. So far I have gone from 107.25kg down to 98.5kg in a little over a month.

My Wife has promised me that if I can get down to 85kg she will let me get and wear a Neosteel Arch. I have a moderate cross dressing fetish and the Arch will let me wear more clothes with a flat profile. I also like the way it completely hides the penis rather than presenting it as a 'normal' chastity cage does. Another motivator is her promise to dress me up in lingerie, which she said to me right at the start of our chastity exploration and totally blew my mind.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Thu Feb 11, 2016 2:56 am

Before I wore a chastity device my Wife and I used to regularly share showers. Occasionally she would wash my penis for me, lathering it and making me hard. It didn't always lead anywhere, but over the years we have been together a shower was usually the precursor to sex. My Wife will not allow or instigate sex unless she is spotlessly clean, and this has led me to have a sort of Pavlov's dog response to having a shower, in that even on my own if I shower I get a bit turned on.

Since I have been wearing my chastity device my Wife has not touched my penis once. This is linked to the reason I offered my chastity to her in the first place, the fact that she freaked out when she saw what I had done to my glans. I do not know if she will ever touch it again, a shame as it means no edging, no ruined orgasms or any other pleasure through stimulation of my penis. She still lets me have intercourse with her but that means she doesn't have to look at it.

This does not mean that she isn't touching me in other ways, in fact if anything she is touching me intimately more than ever before. She has gone from stimulating my penis to stimulating my bottom and through it my entire body. We now have regular showers together, at least four a week. We go to the gym three times and swim on a Sunday, always followed by a shower. Now she washes my back and then parts my legs and cleans my bottom. She reaches between my legs and soaps my thighs, my balls, between my buttocks and pays special attention to all the areas that give me such a thrill.

The feelings that course through me mean I do not in any way miss the attention she used to give my penis. Occasionally, if I have been particularly good, she really goes to town, and after she has raised my sensitivity by playing with my bottom, starts to pinch areas of my neck and back, sending waves of almost too much to take pleasure up and down my spine. She also turns the shower head to a jet setting and sprays my bottom with it, and at times this has me almost collapsing. Luckily I can reach up and hold the top of the shower cubicle as my legs generally give way.

I told her last night after our most recent shower that she is getting really good at this. At first she had an effect on me, but over time this effect is getting more and more pronounced. I think she must be paying attention to the things that work, that illicit a response, and doing more of those things.

It makes me a very, very happy man.
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:57 pm

I have been released from my Holy Trainer after 14 days. That is quite possibly the longest I will ever be locked up in it and I am both pleased to have lasted that long and also a bit disappointed it wasn't longer. I really want to get a metal device with a more open design so I can go longer still, to really push this experience further.

I did not have a problem with any soreness or pressure, neither was there an issue with smell building up. My cleaning regime of putting our shower on a jet setting and squirting water into the tube has worked really well and I will continue to use this method from now on.

What I was not ready for was how sensitive my penis was. I got into the shower and the feeling of the water hitting my glans was almost painful. My Wife found this highly amusing! She watched me shower when I am uncaged, not because she doesn't trust me, but so she can show she is taking her Keyholder position seriously. I really love that.

I was allowed to sleep uncaged which actually turned into a curse rather than a blessing. My penis kept rubbing against my bed clothes and I awoke several times with a straining erection. The trick of going for a pee to make it go down doesn't work when you are not wearing a device to help point your penod point in the correct direction!
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Re: [jasmic68] Making it real. Slowly.

Postby Jasmic68 » Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:10 am

My Wife locked me back into my Holy Trainer last night before I went to bed. It is obvious that I am now actually used to not being able to feel my penis. The HTv2 makes it a sort of blank space. I can feel the trainer against my legs, but I cannot feel what is in it. I can feel my balls being pulled if I get an attempted erection, I can feel the pressure of the mound that builds up against my abdomen, but it is as if I don't have a penis at all.

I suppose the one thing I am going to have to get used to when I get a metal device is being able to feel my penis again when it strains against the bars. If anything the thought of that makes me even more certain that I want a full belt. I was thinking of getting a Neosteel Arch, but I have just read a good report of the Behind Barz belt, so being an Englishman in Germany that is an option I am a now considering.
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