[cycling2work]From Porn addict 2 better husband. This works!

A place to blog about your thoughts and experiences

[cycling2work]From Porn addict 2 better husband. This works!

Postby cycling2work » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:52 pm

Realizing I had both a Porn Addiction and a Masturbation Addiction I thought of what can be done. I had seen Chastity devices in Porn Movies but they really never turned me on.

I am a 38 year old happily married man with 2 relatively newborn kids (4 years and 18 months). I felt grumpy a lot was aggressive (in words) with my wife and frequently lost patience with my kids. Never really made many attempts at stopping masturbation until a few months ago I came across the NoFap Section of Reddit. By reading some of othe stuff I decided to digg deeper and found out that the addictive watching of Porn is really messing with me as a person. Tried to stop then but was unsuccessful.

About 3 weeks ago I was at it again. "This must stop" so I remembered the Chastity devices and Googled Chastity and Forum and came accross this amazing Comunity. Got intrigued, got horny, thought this could be the solution. It took a few days but then I decided to talk to my wife to tell her about my addiction and ask her if she would support me. Thursday the 29th of October was the last time I did it myself, between 9pm and 1am exactly 4 times (!?!) - talk about addiction.

I stopped - cold turkey. However I got Sex again from my wife. I started to be different towards her and yes that was the goal, so we had quite a bit of Sex. Then on Tuesday 3rd of November I opened up to my wife telling her in a very emotional conversation about what I had been up to and that I did not really like the way I had become. Mentioned that I believe it is the porn and the masturbation and asked her to give the Chastity Device a try. I told her if it does not work we will need Therapy. It was amazing, we were very close and ever since our Marriage has been revived.

With her permission I ordered a Holy Trainer small the next day which I am still waiting for (stuck in customs). This is to control the Masturbation. Amazing thing is I have not been pleasing myself since now 2 weeks and I feel great. We had plenty of Sex and since I was always worried of cumming too soon I held back and now twice came without ejaculating. That allowed me to continue and allowed her to come. It had accidently happened to me before but I "learnt" about the technique from you guys on the forum - THANKS.

So not sure this belongs on here since I am not yet locked in to any device but I feel so good, so in Love and so full of energy that I thought I wanted to write it down and if helps another poor soul controlling his desire to watch porn and do it himself then it is for the better. Much more needy with wife, so much less impatient with my kids :D

So long.
Last edited by cycling2work on Fri Jun 03, 2016 10:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby albertosub » Thu Nov 12, 2015 3:40 pm

Hi cycling2work,

Amazing text and approach! I am older than you, but certainly addicted to porn and masturbating too.
My sex-life has been quite flat for many years, so I have been trying to compensate for that with porn, masturbating and excessive fantasies.
Recently I, too, discovered, or rather rediscovered chastity and orgasm denial again (there had been a few episodes of non-penetrative sex and orgsam denial before). It feels great for me as well, and I increasingly manage not to stumulate myself to erection let alone close to orgasm, even when I watch porn, which I still do on quite a few occasions.

So, maybe we can talk about things a little. I wonder how I could become as lucky as you: tell my wife, find support and understanding in her, and explore male chastity and orgasm denial with her.

The two of ou must be a healthier couple than we are. In cas you don't asnwer I already use this opp to wish you all the best for your marital and family future.

Alberto (who is a sub in his fantasies)
albertosub
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 4:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby cycling2work » Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:53 pm

Thanks Carlos, sent you a PM.

Still not sure if Ishould even be writing here. Since I am not yet locked in to a device.
Some Stats: 19 days since my last Wank (Masturbation)
5 days since my last Orgasm. (PIV)

I am starting to drip. Also I can see some changes in me that I am not 100% sure how to handle. I get very attached to my wife. Today I heard a voicemail of her that I missed before from last Thursday. I listened to the same VM 3 times. Just to hear her voice. I would have never done that just a few weeks ago.

At the same time I feel like a teenager, think she does not message me enough, gives me too little attention. She had back problems last week and I was very supportive, massaged her, helped her with the kids were I could. Weekend we had friends over and I went out of my way doing stuff - did not see it as a must but enjoyed it. Mind you I was never the lazy macho that did nothing. But even a female friend of my wife noticed and said she liked how much I helped.

All the time no word of encouragement from my wife. At night it was bath time for the kids. I put them in the bath, my wife was there. I told her I am going to prepare the milk for the kids and left. About 7 minutes later my wife gets hysterical and shouts at me why it takes me so long for the milk. This made me very upset and I was thinking of just forgetting this whole no masturbation no porn thing and to hurt her break the cycle. So happy I did not as it would have just been bad for me and now thinking about it why hurt the person that you love. Next day I had a go at my wife and in the evening we had a conversation which I whatsapped her later that night:

Me: "do you like the ring tones in your phone?"

You "No"

Me: "Do you want me to show you how to change them?"

You: "No"

Me: "Should I change it for you"

You: "No"


I told her that was the best conversation we had all day which did not help my case.

In the end I found out that she was a day away from the period. So typical PMS me thinks. Reason I describe it is because previously I might have not cared that much. However I feel more attached to her now, more needy for any reaction, touch, words.... My HT is still stuck in customs. When researching that topic I found that I might just have to wait a week or two more. Nothing I can do. USPS International "Express" ;)

To end on a slightly positive note. I was upset with her last night, kissed her good night while she was still working on her laptop, went to sleep early. When she came in to bed at least we cuddled and went to sleep in each other's arms. It felt soooo good and is something I never wanted to do longer than a few minutes before I put myself on the honor system.
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby locked4her55 » Tue Nov 17, 2015 6:08 pm

cycling2work wrote:.Still not sure if Ishould even be writing here. Since I am not yet locked in to a device.

You do not need a 'device' to practice Chastity. It's just that many of us do. ;)
Welcome to the Forums.
Happily secured since 4/2010 :-)
Have worn CB3000, CB6000s & MM Jail Bird
Currently wearing MM Watchful Mistress
User avatar
locked4her55
 
Posts: 1895
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:23 pm
Location: Massachusetts, USA

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby cycling2work » Wed Nov 18, 2015 8:20 am

Thanks locked4her55 :) feels like an awesome comunity here.

A very quick update from me. It has been 6 days since my last orgasm. My wife is extremely stressed for work and does not get enough sleep. Also the 18 month old won't accept me when she cries at night so my wife also has to get up for that. So was expecting zero. She came to bed when I slept and we cuddled and also when she woke up early in the morning we cuddled and could feel my rock hard tool. She laughed as she knows I am abstaining from masturbation but i did not expect anything. She was just really tired. A few minutes before she was going to shower I took her hand and put it on my balls, she squeezed them and touched my cock. It felt so amazing and I was expecting that to be all. I went to prepare coffee for her and when i came back she said. Look I have no time but I would love a quicky, but it had to be REALLY quick. So I asked her if she wanted to come and she said just do as quick as possible. She was soaking wet and it only took two minutes. I told her before coming and she said go ahead. What a load..... She did not orgasm and I asked her about it later she said she really enjoyed it. So off to a good morning for me even if it was the quickest quickie we ever had. :roll:
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby cycling2work » Thu Nov 19, 2015 8:24 am

This is getting interesting :)
So we went from a almost sexless part of our marriage to loads of sex and constant horniness.

How we got there, basically by me stopping to do it myself. That simple. It did not seem simple for me at first as I am addictet to porn and masturbation - but it does seem easy until now. No device until this day even though I am still looking forward to finally getting my Holy Trainer. A few weeks before I started the abstinence we also got our 18 month old to sleep in her own bed which might have helped the case a bit. But the not watching porn, not wanking did the most part because it changed my attitude.

Yesterday my wife came home very late from work as she has management meetings with team dinners going on. She came to bed, I cuddled her touched the skin of her entire body and made her feel my hard on. After some time she told me "You are making me horny" to which I said she should not worry - only if she wants sex we will have it. If she does not I don't care. Let's sleep horny :) - I rubbed her pussy through her pyjama and she loved it. She took my hand and guided me. I did it until she came. She asked me if I wanted more. I said only if you really really want. I can wait. She smiled and took of her pyjama. We had amazing PIV and I ruined my first orgasm even though she had already came. The feeling was extreme. I could feel my cock dancing inside her pussy and she asked me if I came. I said no as it would have been to complicated at that time to explain her the ruined orgasm and all that. Then I continued to a full orgasm. She came again. It was mind blowing. Both extremely happy we almost went to sleep in each other's arm BUT then the 4 ear old came in...... (good timing - glad he did not come earlier)

Stats:
No Porn in the last 21 days
No Masturbation in the past 21 days
Plenty of cycling to work (4 times per week) 16km each way - uphill on the way home.
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] 21 days to form a new habit?

Postby cycling2work » Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:47 am

So I lapsed :(
There was Alcohol not an extreme amount but some of it and a little bit of loneliness and I thought to myself why not touch him and do it yourself. But don't come. All but don't cum. Thankfully I did not come however still not pleased with myself.

Wife was out again until just before midnight. I brought the kids to bed, had drunken earlier with work colleagues and then around 9.30 i started playing with myself. It was not even a lot of fun but I did it probably for half an hour. Then I cleaned my teeth and went to sleep. My wife came home extremely tired, had a great cuddle and slept. In the morning the kids prevented any action from turning in to reality.

I told my wife that I had done it myself (without orgasm) and she was a tad disappointed with me as she told me she was so proud since she learnt it takes 21 days to form a new habit and it had been exactly 21 days.
A quick google turned up that this is a myth however I found a fery interesting article about habits that I wanted to share: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonselk/2013/04/15/habit-formation-the-21-day-myth/ Habbit formation.

Lets see what the weekend brings :D


Stats:
No Porn in the last 22 days
No Orgasm from Masturbation in the past 22 days but 1 session without O.
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Re: [cycling2work] addicted 2 porn - trying to get free

Postby cycling2work » Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:16 am

What a change in our Relationship. WOW!!

So, I am now on day 32 without Masturbation (*) and feel great. Our marriage and our sexlife havn't been better in the past 5 years. We got the sparkle back. My wife told me that she thought we would never get this sparkle back. We loved each other but in a very different way and without the real sparkle and that seems to be back now. Why? Probably because I am no longer masturbating. I love this woman, I am different towards her and she is now different to me too, we are both horny :D almost all the time.

How did it work for me up till now.
I think for me the best was that I tried to stop the masturbation before the big talk. I had changed already before the talk and we had more frequent sex. I needed her to be on board and thought I would not be able to manage without a device. I do think it is doable for me though. Question is how big of an addiction is a porn/masturbation addiction anyway. I don't know the answer. I tried to stop one time before and did not manage. However at that time I was not yet fully aware how harming this behaviour is. Here is a youtube video about a ted talk about masturbation - this i fully recommend everyone to watch: https://youtu.be/wSF82AwSDiU

How have the past 2 weeks been? Lots PIV :D and also lots of licking from me. I had told her that I love it sooo much when she lets me but it only is rewarding for me if she enjoys it. So she should be honest with me - if she does not like it we don't need to do it but I loove the act and also love the smell and taste. I gave her multiple long massages and after she would let me lick her. Something changed but she told me she enjoys it more now.

After 20 days stuck in customs I got my HolyTrainer on Wednesday. I still have one key and am still taking it off a lot as I believe the 45mm base ring is too small. Ordered the 50mm ring today but asked it to be sent to a box forwarding company - that way i will get it through customs faster (pre paying taxes). Hopefully should be with me by Friday.

My wife likes the device and even though i still administer it myself she asks me where it is when I am not wearing it. So this morning when I wanted to leave home by bike she touched my parts and asked me. "Where is it?" I said its off, why do you want me to put it on and she told me she did. So now I cycled to work with the device on :o - 40 Minutes - all terrain. It felt good. Sometimes my penis got stimulated because of vibration however I was always thinking what if I have an accident with that thing on? It must be so painful. haha - Can report back though that it was possible to cycle with it on and will try that on a daily basis now. Currently my wife has back problems so I guess there won't be any action for a few days. However I know myself and I can keep the masturbation and porn away.

Another funny thing. We were going to the supermarket and there was a SUUUPER HOT Woman walking down the street. I could not avoid looking. But I told my wife. Don't you worry, first of all you know I eat at home, always, secondly if she asked me to fuck her I wouldn't even want to but if I wanted - my dick is locked away - so impossible. She chuckled and liked the statement, told me she loves that idea.


Stats:
No porn since 32 days
(*) No Masturbation in 32 days (1 x without orgasm - but will not mention this one in future stats updates as I don't think it was significant)
Happy Wife
Happy Husband
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

It's the porn, silly!

Postby cycling2work » Mon Dec 07, 2015 10:56 am

All good here :) I am pretty excited actually but let me start from the beginning.
My HT seems to have a too small base ring. I actually got blue balls. They were not painful but were quite blue. Balls were ALWAYS rock hard and i got quite a few marks. So I ordered a bigger base ring and it should be with us today :):) I had the device off most of the time since my last update. Biking went surprisingly well but I think it is just the wrong size.

Sex is still great and I am giving my wife a lot of amazing massages which turn us both on. My wife still had no chance to read the book I bought for her (Sarah Jameson, be careful what you wish for) but told me she will find time before Christmas, pretty exciting.

My addiction to porn and masturbation is not yet solved unfortunately. I got turned on by reading the stories on this forum and strangely enough by pictures of caged penises, i then started watching tease and denial videos on my favourite porn site. I did not however masturbate. That was bad - total bullshit - so I think i will restart my counter. Here is a very good site I found on the topic: http://yourbrainonporn.com/book/export/html/75

And now to what happened yesterday :D :D :D
When using a Condom I just don't come. So after giving my wife a long massage I go looking for condoms. She says no!! - Come here. I tell her I don't want to come and she tells me don't worry I won't take long. It was amazing I was on the edge several times and managed to get her off before I did, then I pulled out and was SUUUPER horny, we cuddled and she fell asleep. Me with a extreme hardon. I woke up in the middle of the night extremely horny but I did not relieve myself which I am pretty proud of. Almost forgot, my wife also woke up in the night and played with my balls - which was better than anything i had experienced in a long time.

New Stats
39 days without Full Masturbation with Orgasm (will retire that one)
2 days since watching Porn (my new Masturbation o Porn Stat)
Happy Me
Happy Wife
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

I didn't want to come

Postby cycling2work » Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:57 pm

We are both still excited about our new sexual life even if we are at the very beginning of Chastity Play. My wife has not yet read any book on it and our conversations were very limited about me wanting her to give me less orgasms. She knows I like to be left hot from time to time and she knows I don't want to masturbate anymore and need her help with it.

So we are at it in the bedroom (PIV). I stop from time to time to stop myself from coming. She screams "don't stop, don't stop....." and at one point I thought fuck it - I will just come. And I let go a rather large load after she orgasmed. We then cuddled and after some time my wife says - Sh* I am wetting the bed. Did you come? :P

I was like - you did not notice??? So then I explained to her that I followed her orders by not stopping but in an ideal world I would have had sex without coming. Later that night I showed her this article http://www.1vigor.com/article/ejaculation-frequency/ in which Ralf cites the best spacing between Orgasms according to Eastern Philosophy.

Now I think it made click and I might have a "Be careful what you wish for" moment. Although before that happens I will have her read Sarah Jamesons Book on "BCWYWF".

AND - since about 10 days I have started planting the idea that I want some really special sexual play for my birthday (end Jan). She asked me what do you want for your birthday - and I told her - well - i have an idea related to the bedroom. :) I told her I did not want to come for more than a week before, wanted to be tied down and played with for more than an hour without being allowed to come. I am planting more ideas in to her head for this special day :D :D :D

Wearing my HT with the 50mm ring which is A LOT more comfortable - however was not yet able to wear it continuosly for more then 24 hours because of nightly pain. Will try again toninght. I am wearing it since the morning including on my long cycle to work.

Stats:
No PoM (Porn or Masturbation) 4 days
Time since last O (PIV) 2 days

Still keeping the counter on my phone - 41 days since I last orgasmed from Masturbation....
Masturbation & Porn addict
View my Chastity Journey
Currently locked in a Contender
User avatar
cycling2work
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:24 am

Next

Return to The Journey

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest