[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

I think we're really starting to enjoy this lifestyle. Yesterday was our anniversary. Since I had just had an orgasm less than a week ago, we decided to keep me locked up while we made love last night. We had a ton of fun. My wife had an orgasm, then we cuddled for a while. After a little while of cuddling my wife wanted more. She had two more orgasms back to back.

I don't know why, but when I'm locked she can reach climax easier and more often. Before we started chastity she only had one orgasm when we made love, and that wasn't always guaranteed. Now she's consistently been having two, and last night she had three.

Whatever it does for her, I'm loving it.
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albertosub
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 4:24 am

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by albertosub »

Hi Shepherdsflock,
I have just had a little time to read your above accounts on how wearing your cage has resulted in your wife becoming more playful in bed and, as it would appear, open up to what may be in it for her when she accepts your cage and chastity. That reaction is marvellous in my eyes and I can only wish for my wife to react similarly once I find the courage to present my present steel cage to her.
Since her return from nursing her father back in her home country we have not had sex, partly caused by the fact that we habe moved house as I finished a contract and am about to find a new one. That, of course, is keeping me busy, but I want to find time to make friends here and learn more about chastity, denial, cuckoldry and ... about myself by exchanging experiences and views.
As I am writing a question comes to my mind: how does your wife respond to your wish not to reach orgasm? Some ten years ago I managed to talk my wife into not letting me climax and that lasted for 56 days, which meant that I failed the two months I had projected to reach, but I was still proud about it. Since then, however, I have not succeeded in talking her into it again although she climaxed very well as usual then, too, with the help of a vibrator and my tongue spoiling her simultaneously.
Voilà, I rather stop here and restrain myself and wait for you to find the time to respond to this leter and my previous one, if so you wish, of course.
Yours sincerely, Alberto
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

For a while we had a pretty regular pattern of 3-4 weeks between orgasms for me. Then I lost my job in November. I was pretty depressed and my wife thought that sex would help me feel better. We had a couple of weeks where she was letting me have intercourse to orgasm twice per week. The thing is, I think it only made things worse. I was grumpy and moody. The post orgasm crash that I had read about turned out to be very real. After a discussion with my wife we decided to get me back on monthly orgasm schedule.

My wife got me really close to orgasm last night while I was locked just playing with my balls and rubbing me in the right places. Because it wasn't yet time for my monthly orgasm, she stopped so I wouldn't climax. She said that we might try bringing me to orgasm that way on my next monthly orgasm. She thought it would be fun to bring me to climax without letting me be unlocked. She was pretty excited about it and said if it works that might be my only form of orgasm going forward, and we might want to try permanent chastity for us.

Part of me is really excited about that idea, and part of me is a little scared. It's a really intimidating thing to hear from your wife. And she wasn't just messing with me. She was really excited about the idea. She thought chastity was kind of fun before, but now that she knows she can both deny my orgasm AND give me orgasms during chastity she is super excited about it. She will have total control over both aspects of my sexuality. I will be totally dependent on her for my orgasms. I won't even be able to thrust into her or against her or anything else to get an orgasm. I will have to submit to her completely and trust her to trigger an orgasm with no action on my part to have one. If it's time for my monthly orgasm and she doesn't push my buttons just right and get me there, I don't get one. And there's nothing I'll be able to do to make one happen.

For a wife who was kind of scared and hesitant at first, she's really taking a liking to chastity.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Last night we talked some more. She said that she definitely would prefer to never let me out during sex, but realizes that having an orgasm while locked might be challenging. She said she wants to try really hard to get me used to cuming in my cage, but will give me PIV in July only if I'm having a hard time reaching orgasm while locked.

So, between now and July, I am only going to be unlocked for hygiene and exercise. She wants us to focus on teaching me to reach climax inside the cage.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

My wife got me to orgasm while locked last night. She was so pleased that she told me she is confident that she wants that to be my form of release from now on. My penis will not be involved in sexual activities anymore. She wants me locked during all sexual activities permanently, unlocking only for exercise and daily cleaning.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

It's been a few months and things went downhill. My wife kind of assumed that keeping me locked meant that her share of our sex life was no longer necessary and she could just leave me locked and ignore our sex life (she has never had any kind of sex drive, so she never even thinks about sex unless I raise the issue). Then I had to have my appendix removed, and I couldn't tell if she was genuinely afraid of hurting me after surgery or if she was just using it as an excuse to not have to be bothered by engaging in sexual activity, but we went several weeks without any sexual contact. I stopped wearing my HT2, and eventually fell back into my old habit of masturbating.

I confessed to my wife that I'm struggling with masturbation again and we agreed that I should start using the HT2 again. However, this time I made it clear to her that she needs to keep me engaged sexually. She seems to really like having me locked when we do sexual things, so I told her she just needs to keep it fun for me. If I'm going to stay chaste for her pleasure, I need have some fun, too. I told her maybe she could make a game out of it. She can decide when and if I get to be unlocked, and she gets to keep it a secret as long as she wants.

So, the basic ground rules that we laid out are that I'm free to initiate sexual activity anytime I want, but she gets to decide whether or not I am unlocked. I told her to make it challenging for me, don't just unlock me every week. She liked that idea.

I'm hoping this goes well. We both enjoy chastity in different ways, but we really need her engagement if it's going to be beneficial.
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chastehub
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Location: Rocky Mountain Region
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by chastehub »

MyBride has a low sex drive so we've struggled with the same thing; at times she's gone into "set it and forget it" mode. Working through that is a tricky balance between communicating your desires and topping from the bottom. i hope you're able to reach a mutually agreeable solution.
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Sincerely,

chastehub
-------------------------------
If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

We had a quick love making session last night with me staying locked. The wife enjoyed it a lot and had an orgasm pretty easily, and I had a great time getting her there. We both commented afterward that we had forgotten how much fun it was to keep me locked up. We decided that we're going to make more of an effort to make this a real lifestyle for us, and that my wife will take a more active role in keeping me locked up.

Before, it was up to me determine whether or not I was locked up, but my wife confessed to me last night that every time I decided I wanted out for an orgasm she was secretly disappointed and would have rather had me stay locked up.

So, we decided that she will be like my cheerleader to encourage me to stay locked up. When I get desperate for an orgasm, it will be her job to lovingly persuade me to stay locked up.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Wow, we had the best sex of our marriage tonight. We kept me locked up and started fooling around. I discovered that the more I tried to relax my penis and groin, the more pleasant it felt when she played with me down there. And, since we kind of recommitted to keeping me chaste as close to permanently as I can handle, she had a great time knowing that she didn't have to worry about intercourse.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

We had another conversation tonight about keeping me in chastity. We're both happy with what it does for our marriage, and we both agree that chastity will be indefinite for me. Will it be forever? We don't know for sure, but it will be for a long time. Probably several years minimum.

We had a good conversation about what long term chastity will mean for us. I made it clear that I will need her encouragement and support to stay the course on the days when I just don't want to be chaste. She is willing to step up and support me when I need it. She is happy that we'll no longer be having intercourse and won't be a leaking mess of semen the morning after sex anymore.

I'm a little bit nervous about it. She's serious about helping me stay chaste for the long haul. I'm nervous because I have no idea yet how hard it might get. The longest I've gone in chastity in a single stretch is around 5 weeks.
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