[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby NoloMeTangere » Fri Sep 09, 2016 8:31 pm

Shepherdsflock wrote: She just doesn't want my face or mouth anywhere down there.


Well, things sound like they're getting better and better between you, and that's what's really important.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Sun Sep 11, 2016 2:44 pm

Well, this morning was interesting. My wife woke me up at about 4:00 by rubbing up against me and touching me. When I opened my eyes and looked at her, she whispered "I'm thinking about you".

We made love for about an hour. She didn't reach orgasm, and didn't seem like she was really interested in getting there. After about an hour she wanted to cuddle and she fell asleep. After about 15 minutes I could feel and hear movement under the covers. I opened my eyes and could see she was asleep, but she was clearly masturbating. She started mumbling unintelligibly and giggling. She started making the kinds of sounds and facial expressions she does when she climaxes, then she let out a sigh and immediately started snoring.

I always go for a walk in the morning, so at 5:30 she was asleep and I got up and put some clothes on and went for a walk. I came back in around 6:30. The kids were still asleep and she was in the bathroom. I walked in and said, "Next time if you want more, don't be afraid to ask". She looked at me confused and asked what I was talking about. I told her about her masturbating and she got really embarrassed. I told her I didn't mind because I knew we had just been making love and she was probably just dreaming about it and I knew she had no idea she was doing it. If she were doing it intentionally I might feel differently.

She felt really bad, but I tried to assure her that it was okay.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby NoloMeTangere » Mon Sep 19, 2016 12:44 am

Hi Shepherdsflock

I keep on meaning to post, but we've been so busy with school starting. Anyway, please forgive me for making this suggestion. I know that no one knows your wife as you do, but I saw your post and just thought I'd comment.

Shepherdsflock wrote:I told her about her masturbating and she got really embarrassed. I told her I didn't mind because I knew we had just been making love and she was probably just dreaming about it and I knew she had no idea she was doing it. If she were doing it intentionally I might feel differently.

She felt really bad, but I tried to assure her that it was okay.


Your wife's sleeping masturbation not only wasn't under her control, but it was also a clear sign of her increasing sexuality. As such, you should welcome it as the positive sign it is.

On a separate note, I was thinking that next time you are allowed to kiss your wife's mound, you might make a comment to the effect of the discomfort that doing so causes you. I would mention the discomfort that it causes you because she clearly enjoys seeing the discomfort that your thwarted desire causes. If you are ever allowed to serve her that way, I guarantee that you will suffer, while at the same time craving it.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:47 pm

I got back yesterday from being out of town for over a week at a trade show. I was so horny I thought I might explode. But I was also very tired.

About 10:30 I laid down in bed. I was dozing off when my wife came in and said, "Don't fall asleep on me". She laid down next to me and started cuddling with me. She didn't act like she was interested in anything more, but after a few minutes I was going nuts with desire. I was actually breathing hard just laying there. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and grabbed her and started touching her and kissing her.

She put her thigh between my legs and started rubbing my cage. I was out of my mind horny at this point and started trying to hump her leg. She started giggling and said, "Does that feel good?". Of course she knew I couldn't feel anything.

I decided that since I'm going to be locked up for a very long time, I wanted something fun for me. I have always wanted to kiss her mons and vagina, but she has never let me. So I just did it anyway and to my shock she didn't stop me. She still had her panties on, but I loved every second of it. I could smell her scent and it was driving me wild. She must have been able to tell, because she asked if I liked how she smelled down there.

It was a good night.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby NoloMeTangere » Wed Sep 21, 2016 5:58 pm

Baby steps bro' baby steps.

Shepherdsflock wrote:I decided that since I'm going to be locked up for a very long time, I wanted something fun for me. I have always wanted to kiss her mons and vagina, but she has never let me. So I just did it anyway and to my shock she didn't stop me. She still had her panties on, but I loved every second of it. I could smell her scent and it was driving me wild. She must have been able to tell, because she asked if I liked how she smelled down there..
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:39 am

Well, bad news to report. October got off to a bad start. After nearly 7 months of continuous chastity, I and thinking things were going well, I suddenly had a period of time where I just wanted PIV like never before. Even though I couldn't even remember what it felt like, I wanted it and I wanted it bad.

I pressured my wife into PIV and had my first orgasm in 7 months. It felt amazing, but the next day my wife was pissed. And I felt pretty bad myself. I really let her down and I couldn't argue with her.

The good news is she has forgiven me, but she told me to never break my promise of permanent chastity again. She felt betrayed.

I am starting to see why NoloMeTangere's wife demanded a security piercing. If my wife weren't squeamish about piercings, I think she would have been mad enough to demand one to make sure I can't get out ever again.

We did have a good discussion about the value of my chastity and my emotional needs. I let her know that chastity is very hard for me sometimes and I need more positive affirmation from her regarding it. She said she had been feeling very proud of me for staying chaste (until my little stunt), and I told her I need to hear about feelings like that more often. I need encouragement sometimes, I need to hear how much my chastity is appreciated.

She agreed that she would try to give me more encouragement and voice her positive feelings about it more often.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby NoloMeTangere » Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:19 pm

Hi Shepherdsflock

I hope you don't mind if I reply to your post since you mentioned me. First, I'm glad you're posting again since you and your wife have been our inspiration. I was a little afraid that you'd dropped off the planet LOL.

My piercing has healed very well, but my skin is not tough, so the piercer says I either need to be exceedingly careful to never put weight on it, or I need another piercing to distribute the load, or both. Now that I've had one piercing the idea of a second doesn't bother me.

My wife and were talking about my chastity, which she really loves, and knowing that I went through it for her really turns her on. We both know that, even the piercing can be removed with 20 minutes work, but it does accomplish two things that are relevant your struggles as well.

First, it will remove the daily on and off. Once I get everything right, it can just stay on. Secondly my wife intends to put the key encased in plastic out in our back yard, so it won't even be up to her. She won't have the key. Those two things should help us avoid the problem of pressuring her for sex.

I am going to post in my journal thread soon, but I just wanted you to know that your struggles have been inspirational.

P.S. You might get a piercing as a way to reaffirm your commitment. It really doesn't hurt that bad at all, and maybe you'd be a candidate for a frenum piercing.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby wishful4 » Sat Oct 15, 2016 5:26 pm

I think there will be "moments of desperation" that will have to be dealt with in almost any male chastity situation, permanent or otherwise. I think one thing that happens deals with the way the chaste male handles it. many times we just try and tough out feelings we are having rather than doing what we should do and that is talking to our KeyHolder about it. In my own case, I have kept my feelings to myself out of fear that I would cause feeling of guilt in her and I didn't want to deter her development as a KeyHolder. When, after I had gotten so out of hand and managed to muck things up, she asked me, why didn't I tell her about my feelings. In the end, her feelings get hurt and I feel like a dunce and our MC journey gets temporarily derailed. I should have more faith in her abilities and understanding. Thanks to her love for me, she always comes around to trying it again. This was in the early years and doesn't happen anymore. I credit that to the fact that we both have matured into this lifestyle and understand each other and ourselves better.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:08 am

Haven't been on here in a while. The company I was working for let a bunch of us go, so I lost my job for the second time in a year. I was pretty depressed. I noticed I was spending a lot of time on here and decided that wasn't healthy.

So, not much has happened since then, except that I did find another job and it seems to be a good one. My period of depression really killed my libido. I had about a month where I was not interested in sex at all. I stopped wearing my cage. Then I got a new job. Had to travel to two of their training facilities for a period of three weeks.

Since I'd been having zero interest in sex, I left my cage at home. Mistake. About a week into my trip, I got the urge to masturbate and ended up doing it. Did it a few more times after that.

I got back from my trip Thursday night. I was too tired and it was too late for sex. But apparently my has that weird female intuition that tells her when I've been up to no good. She came up to me last night and started touching me and getting me aroused (which she rarely does). She asked me how I'd been doing with being locked up. I admitted "not very well". She said she knew. She asked if I wanted to play.

We went into the bedroom. I left my cage on, not expecting intercourse. We got into bed and started touching, and she noticed I was still locked. She asked if I had the key. I told her it was on the nightstand. I asked if she wanted me unlocked. She smiled and said, "We'll see".
As we played, she got really turned on rubbing my cage against her clit and having me finger her. She was on the edge of orgasm when she told me to unlock.

She directed me to get inside of her. I got about 10 good pumps in and was super aroused when the baby woke up and started screaming. She asked me to get out so she could get the baby. Then she patted my penis and said, "Playtime is over. Lock back up". She had a big grin on her face.

I know she couldn't have planned when the baby would wake up, but I think she enjoyed taking advantage of the opportunity. She seemed to enjoy knowing she got me to the edge and and then had me lock up.

We normally don't do PIV without an orgasm for me. That is really the only reason we ever do PIV. PIV is strictly for my orgasm, she would never want it otherwise. So it was the first time for me having PIV and not getting an orgasm. Super frustrating, and locking up afterward sucked. I really wanted to finish what we started.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby NoloMeTangere » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:54 pm

Hey Shepherdsflock,

I was wondering what happened to you. I was unemployed for a while, about 10 years ago, for almost a year, and the struggle to get another position was horrible, nerve-wracking, and depressing, so I can definitely relate. I'm glad to hear you found another good job, and I really hope that works out for you.

I have always read your postings with interest because of some of the similarities in what we are going through as men, as people, and in loving women who despise intercourse. Of course, our situations are different in that my wife doesn't want me to have an erection or to come for personal reasons (except right now because we're going to try for a baby), whereas your wife and you also have religious reasons, which brings me to ask how you feel about having masturbated during your trip?

My wife has definitely changed since we started using chastity, and especially since I got the piercings. She tells me often how much she likes them and how much more loved she feels. She also now teases me in ways that she never would have before. Besides the occasional belly-dance which is really for fun, she also has now often wakes me up with her vagina on my lips to give me a wake-up kiss, and to get her off first thing in the morning. She says it makes her day go much better and reduces her stress level at work.
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