[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Wed Sep 16, 2015 11:18 pm

I recently confessed to my wife that I have had a long standing problem with masturbation. Some may argue that masturbation is okay, but neither my wife nor I feel that way.

The masturbation was effecting my ability to be intimate with my wife. I travel 3-4 days per week for my job and that is usually when the temptation is worst. After confessing to my wife that I had a problem and really wanted to stop, I made it one whole day before I caved in and masturbated while away from home. In my desperation to overcome this, I searched for things to help stop masturbation.

I came across a site called keptforher.com (not trying to break forum rules about endorsing websites, just thought it could help others). I tread the testimonials on the site, several were from men in my situation. I read about the Holy Trainer and thought it was worth a try.

It was Thursday when I ordered it. I knew where I would be staying for work on Monday, so I had it shipped to the hotel. It was there waiting for me when I arrived.

I opened the box, read the the sparse instructions and put it on. I was afraid it would be uncomfortable, but it is quite comfortable. Maybe it was sized just right for my anatomy, but a lot of the time I forget I'm wearing it. I put my pants back on and looked in the mirror. Completely discreet. Nobody can tell I'm wearing it.

Knowing that I plan to arrive back home on Thursday afternoon, I went to the local FedEx office and shipped the keys to my wife with a Thursday delivery. She doesn't know yet, and I'm hoping her reaction will be positive.

So, I'm a very brave person, I guess. Reading the posts on this forum, it sounds like few people just jump right into 24/7 chastity wearing. I didn't really give it any thought. I just really, really wanted my ability to masturbate to be stopped.

For stopping masturbation, I give it two thumbs up. I really wanted to masturbate on Monday and Tuesday, but I can't see how I could with this on. It seems very secure to me. I just had to tough it out and learn that I'm all done doing that.

There are some things you notice right away. I actually like wearing it for a couple of reasons: it keeps my glans from rubbing against my underwear (annoying) and it keeps everything in place. Kind of like a bra fro my penis. Peeing sitting down is a little weird at first. You find yourself walking into restrooms and heading toward the urinal, but then realizing you can't do that anymore.

I had to get creative with hygiene. I've figured out how to get most of the urine out after peeing by twisting a piece of toilet paper and shoving it through the holes to soak up stuff. I also use cotton swabs twice a day to get far inside and clean around myself.

So far, I have been in the Holy Trainer for 3 days. I have not masturbated in 7 days. Things are going well. I'm a little nervous about telling my wife tomorrow about it. I know she'll be considerate and kind, but I think she might find it weird.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:17 pm

The wife's reaction was pretty good. At first she thought it looked like it hurt. I assured her it was very comfortable. She told me she was proud of me for doing something about my problem.

I asked her to keep the keys hidden where I can't find them. After she hid them, she really surprised me. She gave me a long hug, and rubbed her thigh against the cage. I was not expecting that.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby LadyDs_alex » Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:05 pm

Shepherdsflock wrote: I actually like wearing it for a couple of reasons: it keeps my glans from rubbing against my underwear (annoying) and it keeps everything in place. Kind of like a bra fro my penis.


You may discover another reason you like wearing it. When you know deep down that it is your wife who has the key, that it is she who must release you, you will find all your erotic energy focused on her, and not on yourself, now that you don't have the ability to self-gratify anymore.

Also, the simple fact that you have this device enclosing your most intimate parts -- and your wife is in control of the device -- can create the feeling that she is always holding you "down there". Cradling you lovingly.

Good luck and best wishes, Shepherdsflock!
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Fri Sep 18, 2015 5:11 am

Yes, I am discovering that. When we went to bed last night, she wanted me to cuddle with her. Normally close physical contact like that would have had me ready for intercourse with a raging hardon. But, being caged was kind of nice for both of us. She said it was nice to be able to feel me holding her without an erection pushing and throbbing against her. That made me happy. Also, knowing that I am locked up and am not getting any intercourse for a while made it easier to just lay there with her for her pleasure.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Fri Sep 18, 2015 6:32 am

I forgot to mention that I had spoken to her last night about using this to help me abstain from intercourse for at least a month. She has always had trouble with intercourse. In the almost 7 years we've been married, intercourse has always been painful for her and she almost always gets a urinary infection afterward. After 7 years of painful intercourse, she has started to be very reluctant to engage in anything sexual, because for me sexual contact always had to lead to intercourse.

I told her last night that I wanted to try to abstain from intercourse for at least one month so her body could have a break and we could kind reboot our intimate life. She was in favor of it. I told her that I would restrict nothing from her during that time. She can have all the cuddling, kissing, touching, etc. that she wants. She smiled and said okay.

I also wanted to report a non-sexual benefit I have experienced with the chastity cage. In learning to abstain from sexual self-gratification, I am finding it easier to stop indulging myself in other areas. In particular I am finding it very easy to stop eating too much. I'm not terribly heavy, but I need to drop about 20 lbs. Since I've started chastity, I've found I can eat about half of what I normally eat and just stop there. No cravings between meals or binging or anything.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Fri Sep 18, 2015 11:52 am

LadyDs_alex wrote:
You may discover another reason you like wearing it. When you know deep down that it is your wife who has the key, that it is she who must release you, you will find all your erotic energy focused on her, and not on yourself, now that you don't have the ability to self-gratify anymore.

Also, the simple fact that you have this device enclosing your most intimate parts -- and your wife is in control of the device -- can create the feeling that she is always holding you "down there". Cradling you lovingly.

Good luck and best wishes, Shepherdsflock!


I think this is starting to set in for me. I had been wearing the cage since Monday, but my wife had no part in it until yesterday. When I gave her the keys yesterday, I was surrendering my body to her. It really hit me for the first time today when I got undressed to take a shower. I just saw my manhood in the cage, and all of a sudden it hit me: I'm completely hers. She has the keys now and all my sexuality belongs to her.

It wasn't scary, it didn't make me feel panicky. But it was a deeply humbling moment. A large part of who I am is no longer under my control.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby LadyDs_alex » Fri Sep 18, 2015 12:21 pm

I think this is starting to set in for me. I had been wearing the cage since Monday, but my wife had no part in it until yesterday. When I gave her the keys yesterday, I was surrendering my body to her. It really hit me for the first time today when I got undressed to take a shower. I just saw my manhood in the cage, and all of a sudden it hit me: I'm completely hers. She has the keys now and all my sexuality belongs to her.

It wasn't scary, it didn't make me feel panicky. But it was a deeply humbling moment. A large part of who I am is no longer under my control.


Yes, I have felt exactly this way when locked. (I'm not locked now -- waiting for a new device.)

When you are free, well, masturbation is an option. You may feel bad about it for various reasons, but that doesn't stop it from being this thing you can do if you really want to.

When you are locked all that energy must now be focused on your wife. If you want to be intimate, but she isn't in the mood, you must wait.

Or maybe you can try to "seduce" her. Which means you must think about what she likes. What have you done in the past that put her in the mood?

It can be like falling in love with her all over again!
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Fri Sep 18, 2015 4:26 pm

I'm still pretty early in this chastity experience, but I experienced something new already. My wife and I were arguing stuff (house, kids, etc.). She said a few things that I was offended by. Afterward, I had to pee, and was still mad. As I sat down to pee, I was very much aware that I was locked up for somebody I wasn't too happy with at that moment. I hadn't given too much thought to what emotional situations chastity could create. It's very humbling to know that you are locked up for somebody that you are mad at.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:10 am

We're still working all this out. My wife is really hung up on hygiene. When I'm home she wants me to unlock and clean every day. Nothing wrong with that, I guess.

She is concerned about hygiene while I'm traveling, though. I told her I'm not willing to unlock while I'm away. The temptation to misuse the key is too great for me. The cage would be nothing more than a plastic toy if I can remove it at will and just go back to masturbating all the time.

I've decided that for emergencies, I will carry the spare key in a locked box with a combination lock. She will keep the combination and if I really need out for some reason while traveling, I just need to call her and get the combination.
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Postby Shepherdsflock » Sat Sep 19, 2015 1:35 pm

I think my wife likes me being locked up, but just doesn't want to say anything. After watching a movie together, I asked her if we could cuddle because I really needed some physical contact with her. She took off her pants, shirt, and bra, and climbed into bed wearing just her panties. She grabbed my hand and said "you're cold!". I wasn't cold. She put my hand right on her vulva and had me rub her a little. I asked why she put my hand there, and she said because it's warm down there. Uh huh, yeah, I'll bet.

After I had been rubbing her for a few minutes, she reached down and grabbed my cage (I had left my underwear on). She asked in a surprised sounding voice, "You're still wearing that silly thing?". I told her, "Of course, you have the keys!". She claimed she forgot about holding the keys. Again, I think this was all just acting. She never just puts my hand on her vulva like that. Usually I have to kiss and touch her for 15 minutes or more before she even let's me near her crotch.

Then she asked when I was going to take it off. I said, "What do you mean? I can't get out of this thing. You have the keys". Then, I think as kind of a test, she asked if I wanted to search for the keys and unlock myself. I told her no, that is bending the rules. So she asked, "So how long will you stay locked in it?". I told her until she lets me out. She stopped asking me about being unlocked and just started playing with my balls.

This was all very, very unusual for her. I can't help but believe that she's secretly enjoying all if this. Her behavior in bed was night and day different from usual. I have to say I am surprised at the change in my wife. She's not exactly a tiger in bed now, but she's a lot more playful.
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