[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

The baby came Saturday night. Pretty uneventful birth. No problems, just a normal vaginal delivery with no intervention.

We've been home for a couple of days, getting back to normal.

Last night my wife knew I was on edge and in need of some attention. She actually initiated physical contact with me, which almost never happens (this would be the 4th time in almost 8 years).

It wasn't anything spectacular, just cuddling on the couch and a little bit of touching. But it meant a lot to me. She never initiates anything like that.

During our time on the couch, just out of the blue, she told me she was happy that I wouldn't be using my penis anymore. She said she wants to be able to enjoy me without it for a long time.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

So, I don't know if it's some kind of post-birth hormone thing, but my wife has been super playful the last couple of days. She has never been like this before.

Yesterday, right after I made my last post, she finished up taking a shower. I was on the couch, writing some work related emails. She peeks out the bathroom door and notices the older kids are outside and the baby is sleeping.

She steps out into the hallway where I can see her naked body, and motions for me to come to her.

She asks me if I want to fool around for a few minutes. Yes, my normally asexual, never in the mood, wife is initiating sexual play with me. I was floored.

She's still very sore down below, so I knew anything below the navel was off limits. But she let me play with her boobs and she playfully rubbed her thigh against my cage. We stood there kissing and touching for a few minutes until the baby woke up and cried.

Then today, again after a shower, while the kids were in the basement playing (heat index was 115 degrees, so we kept them inside), she asked me to come into the bathroom. She was naked and she reached out and put my hands on her boobs (which are enormous right now because she's breast feeding). She let a small sigh that was a mix of relief and pleasure, and said "your hands feel so good right now". I started leaking in my cage, but I didn't care. I was in heaven. Playing with her big firm breasts and knowing that it felt good to her was electrifying.

Man, I don't know what kind of hormonal stuff is going on with her, but I'm really enjoying it. Part of me is a little sad that she wants me chaste permanently, as her newfound horniness makes me think that intercourse would be amazing in a few weeks when she heals up, but I'll never get to do that again. But at the same time, I'm thankful that she is being playful for the first time in our marriage.
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NoloMeTangere
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by NoloMeTangere »

Hi Shepherdsflock

Congratulations to you and your wife on the latest edition to the family.

It's fantastic that your wife is feeling free to express her sexuality now that you're permanently denied. The story of your success is really inspirational.

Have you told your wife how much you appreciate her doing these things? Particularly how when she said she felt cherished for the first time, how moved you were?
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

NoloMeTangere wrote:Hi Shepherdsflock

Congratulations to you and your wife on the latest edition to the family.

It's fantastic that your wife is feeling free to express her sexuality now that you're permanently denied. The story of your success is really inspirational.

Have you told your wife how much you appreciate her doing these things? Particularly how when she said she felt cherished for the first time, how moved you were?
Thank you.

Yes, I have discussed at length with her how I feel when she does or does not show sexual desire toward me, or when she expresses her feelings about my chastity.

She still occasionally makes comments that communicate to me that the permanence of my chastity hasn't fully hit her yet. A few days ago she told me that the nurse at the hospital said she couldn't have anything in her vagina for six weeks. I had to remind her that I can't do that anymore.

But when she is actually thinking about my chastity, she definitely expresses a desire for permanence.
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locked4her55
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by locked4her55 »

Congratulations on the new addition to your family.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

My wife continues to surprise me. Since our newest son was born, she has been giving me a lot of sexual attention.

Yesterday I told her I would make sure she got a shower in the evening after the kids went to bed, because I knew things had been hectic the last few days and she had not had a chance to shower.

So, it took a while after the kids were in bed for the baby to eat, and burp, etc., but he finally drifted off about 11:15. I , too had dozed off, but my wife still wanted her shower. She woke me up and told me to come to the shower with her. She almost never invites me to shower with her. Maybe half a dozen times in almost 8 years. It was the most playful shower we've ever had.

The last couple of weeks, with all the stress of the new baby and things happening with work, I really haven't had much of a sex drive. Sleep deprivation from the baby and stress from work were leaving me pretty drained.

The past two weeks I had left for my weekly business travels in a hurry and forgot my cage at home. Straight from the shower to getting dressed, I was tired and just didn't feel like bothering to lock up. Being so drained, I really didn't have too much of a problem with masturbation temptation. But last week I guess my hormones were getting back to normal as I got more rest and I had some pretty intense battles with temptation to masturbate.

After making it through those battles, I swore I will never travel unlocked again. When I got home from traveling, I immediately washed my cage and locked up.

Thursday and Friday night my wife tried to play with me, but the baby kept interrupting. I was horny as all get out and super frustrated that I couldn't have any play time with my wife. I was desperate for some relief, and the only relief I get is leaking when she plays with me. No play time, no relief.

So, last night's shower was a huge blessing. Not only was it amazing to have her initiate play time, but getting me worked up enough to leak gave me enough relief to sleep better than I have in several weeks. That relief is gone now, and I'm super horny again, but I feel very happy.

Another thing has been happening, too. I'm starting to forget what erections and orgasms feel like. Somehow I still have a part of my mind that wants them, but I don't really know exactly what they feel like anymore. I had two erections last week while traveling uncaged, which prompted the temptations to masturbate. But once I locked up again, I just can't really remember what it feels like. I've reached a point where being caged has become what I'm used to and I can really only relate to sex while locked.

I confessed during our shower, while my wife was playing with my balls and cage, that I think I enjoy having her play with me while locked as much as or more than being unlocked and having orgasms. My body and mind have accepted being locked and unable to orgasm or get erect as my sexual condition. Not being able to remember what erections and orgasms feel like, my mind interprets playing with my nipples or balls the same way it used to interpret an orgasm. Even though I know I'm not ejaculating or having a "real" orgasm, my mind has begun to accept it in the same way. I feel the same satisfaction. And I crave it in the same way.

Confessing this to my wife brought a big smile and a passionate kiss from her. She didn't say a word. She didn't have to. She was obviously thrilled to hear that. The look in her eyes told me that she had been hoping for this for a while. It was a moment where I could tell she felt a sense of accomplishment. I have reason to believe she has been secretly hoping and trying to condition me to prefer sex without my penis so I will want to stay locked permanently.

Even though I had already agreed to permanent chastity for her, she knew that I still enjoyed intercourse and orgasms, and I think that hearing that last night was like knowing that she had finally broken me of my desire for penile sex. I think a sense of guilt about denying me erections and orgasms was lifted from her last night as she realized I can't really associate sex with those things anymore. They just don't connect in my mind anymore.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Not a whole lot to report. My wife and I discussed some of the issues she's having with recovering from the birth of baby #5. She still kind of wavers a bit on the permanence of my chastity, but she told me tonight that she wants me locked up for at least two years, and we'll re-evaluate it then.

Last weekend I had told her that I don't really remember what erections or orgasms feel like anymore. I know in my mind that they feel good, but I really can't remember the physical sensation. She told me tonight that she was happy to hear that. She said that she wants it to stay that way so that I won't be tempted to try to have intercourse with her. So, she said she will be very diligent to ensure I experience zero erections for at least two years. She said she will be my "cheerleader" when I have days when it's hard and I want out.
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NoloMeTangere
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by NoloMeTangere »

Shepherdsflock wrote:You're a braver man than I am...
Haha, not really. You'll notice I haven't done it yet! :shock:

At the same time, I want to tell you how inspiring your Journey is. As you said, chastity is something both you and your wife have been working toward together, and its clearly working. Your Journal shows you growing more intimate and happier together even during this period when the baby (congratulations again) is more demanding.

You've mentioned that your wife is more playful and intimate, but I was wondering, is she more orgasmic too? My wife definitely is hotter and more orgasmic now, and it just keeps getting better. I've come to crave her taste so much that I just have to have it every day. Fortunately, that's not a problem. It's taking the place of my orgasms completely.

I was also wondering how your wife encourages your chastity whenbits most difficult for you. What does she do to be a cheerleader,? I ask because its difficult for me at times as well.

Anyway, I hope you keep posting, and thank you for sharing your inspiring Journey.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

NoloMeTangere wrote:
Shepherdsflock wrote:You're a braver man than I am...
Haha, not really. You'll notice I haven't done it yet! :shock:

At the same time, I want to tell you how inspiring your Journey is. As you said, chastity is something both you and your wife have been working toward together, and its clearly working. Your Journal shows you growing more intimate and happier together even during this period when the baby (congratulations again) is more demanding.

You've mentioned that your wife is more playful and intimate, but I was wondering, is she more orgasmic too? My wife definitely is hotter and more orgasmic now, and it just keeps getting better. I've come to crave her taste so much that I just have to have it every day. Fortunately, that's not a problem. It's taking the place of my orgasms completely.

I was also wondering how your wife encourages your chastity whenbits most difficult for you. What does she do to be a cheerleader,? I ask because its difficult for me at times as well.

Anyway, I hope you keep posting, and thank you for sharing your inspiring Journey.
She is certainly more orgasmic, though not to the degree that I read about in many stories in here. She never experienced an orgasm until we started experimenting with chastity. And when we were still having sex with me unlocked, she just couldn't orgasm. But, even now (especially post-baby while being wore out from breast feeding and sleep deprivation) there are times she just can't or doesn't feel up to trying. But she's more playful now that the baby has been born and she has been making time for us a priority.

As for encouragement, I am pretty open with her about my struggles with chastity. I have told her that when I'm struggling what I really need is encouragement and affirmation. I don't need an excuse to be unlocked. I need to hear that my chastity is appreciated and worth the effort.

She usually holds me, kisses me, and tells me how much it is worth to her and how strong of a man I am for doing it for her. Although I am strong physically, she has told me that the strength I show in chastity is a big turn on for her. And she knows I can't feel down if she gets naked and plays with me. Usually some encouraging words, some playful touching, and I feel a lot better.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

I came home last night from a week-long trip to the Detroit area. Once the baby was asleep, we got in bed to go to sleep. My wife turned off the light and climbed into bed. She had been complaining about how tired she was, so I figured nothing was going to happen. After about a minute, she rolled over facing toward me and scooted herself up against my body. She put her mouth up my ear and whispered "touch me!". She grabbed my hand and guided it to the places she wanted attention.

Now that the baby has been born and her maternity clothes don't fit and she's still a little big for her old clothes, I had told her to go shopping for new clothes this weekend. So, last night as she was getting frisky with me, she told me how proud she was of me staying chaste for her and that she wants to do something special for me this weekend. I suspect that she is going to buy something sexy while she's out shopping this weekend. I'm really excited, because I've begged her for years to wear something sexy for me. She doen't really have any lingerie or anything and has never been interested in dressing sexy for me.

As near as I could tell she did not reach orgasm last night, but she kept rubbing my cage against her clit and breathing heavy and grinding against my cage. She was definitely turned on by my chastity. I don't know what it is, but something about me not being able have erections or penetrate her really gets her turned on.
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