[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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LadyDs_alex
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Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:33 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by LadyDs_alex »

Shepherdsflock wrote:I think my wife likes me being locked up, but just doesn't want to say anything.
It might be not so much the fact of the device locked on you, but the way it changes your behavior toward her.
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Locked in a MM Jailbird, by my beloved wife LadyD.
Shepherdsflock
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

I guess I don't feel like my behavior has really changed, except for a concerted effort not to pressure her for intercourse. I have been doing nearly all of the cleaning around the house, but that started a few weeks before chastity. That was mostly just me being tired of stuff not getting done. She is so inefficient at housework, it drives me nuts. In the time it takes her to load the dishwasher, I can load the dishwasher, scrub the countertops, vacuum, and fold a load of laundry.

Last night I just brushed her hair and held her in bed and we talked for a while. She told me that when I told her about my inability to kick the masturbation habit on my own and dropped my pants and showed her the cage, she felt sad that I needed it but at the same time she wanted to get on Facebook and tell everyone that "my husband really, really, really loves me!". But she didn't post it because she wasn't sure what she would do if someone asked what I had done to show such love.

So, I know that me wearing it makes her feel really special. Plus, she just does little things that suggest she likes it. When I was brushing her hair she was sitting between my legs on the bed. As we were talking, I had mentioned how the cage was helping me not to play with myself. She said, "Oh, this cage?", and she rubbed her butt against the cage.

But then she does stuff that makes me think she's either an incredible actor or she just plain forgets that I'm locked up. She told me that when I'm home (not traveling for work) she wants me to unlock and wash myself and the cage daily before putting it back on. No problem. But twice now I've gently told her I'm taking a shower and need to wash "down there" . She just says things like, "Oh, I won't interrupt" or something like that. And I repeat, "Uh, I need to wash down there". And she's like, "I told you, go ahead and take a shower". A third time I tell her, "But I need to wash down there". Then she finally goes, "Oh, I forgot you are locked". No playful tone or look on her face. It seems like she just genuinely forgets. She doesn't seem to realize I can't get this thing off unless she unlocks me.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Last night was fun. It's "that time of the month" for my wife. So, I asked if we could just play around and touch each other since intercourse was out of the question. She obliged. And she never even asked if I wanted to be unlocked. She just left me locked and we started playing with each other. After a couple of minutes, she started rubbing my cage and playing with my balls. Wow! That felt great! Then one of the kids woke up and interrupted us. After that, we were both getting tired and it was late, so we stopped. But it was so much fun having her play with me with the cage on.
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Shepherdsflock
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Okay, my wife had said nothing about liking or disliking my cage, but we made love with it on last night and she definitely is a whole different woman in bed when I'm wearing it.

We started out cuddling because she was cold and had a headache. After about 20 minutes, she said she was feeling much better. I was horny as could be, and asked if I could touch her a little. She yes, she would like that very much.

I started touching and feeling, and I was getting very aroused. I wanted to rub my cock against her so bad, but had to settle for just rubbing the cage against her. I could feel nothing, but apparently she could! She grabbed my hand guided me down to her clitoris and had me start rubbing her. In 7 years of marriage it was by far the fastest she has reached orgasm. Usually it takes a good 10-15 minutes of playing with her clitoris to get her there. This time it took maybe a minute.

I was so desperate to thrust against her and have some penile stimulation. I rubbed my cage against her a few more times. Then she guided my hand to her stomach and had me play with her bellybutton (one of her erogenous zones). After a couple of minutes she had a second orgasm! This was the first time in our marriage that she has had more than one orgasm.

Then she got all sleepy and was going to fall asleep. I asked her if she would at least play with my balls a little. She did for a few minutes. Then she grabbed my cage and balls and just held me firmly and drifted off to sleep holding my manhood.

She never said a word about liking me locked up, but her actions spoke loud and clear. She definitely likes it. She's normally very submissive, but I know she has a control issue. She always wants control of her life. I think being able to control my sexuality is very exciting and almost therapeutic for her. We have four small children, I have to travel 3-4 days per week for work. Life seems very chaotic and out of control for her. I think having control of my manhood gives her some relief and satisfaction.
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Shepherdsflock
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Not a log of big things to write about, but my chastity is starting to become a normal part of our relationship. My wife has started to ask me if I'm locked when I leave for my weekly business travel. This is purely to play with me, I'm sure, since she keeps the key and knows when I'm unlocked (only for hygiene and intercourse).

We did have one bump in the road. It wasn't major. After I started my initial lockup to stop masturbating, I felt like somebody who drank a 36 pack of red bull all the time. With my libido surging and no masturbation to quell it, I had a lot of sexual energy and had to divert it into something. I started cleaning the house with zeal. I just attacked anything that was dirty or disorderly around the house. I felt kind of guilty to be spending so much time cleaning. I thought my wife would be upset that I was spending all my time cleaning and doing laundry. I think I nearly vacuumed the carpet to death and just about scrubbed the countertops right off.

My wife was enamored with this and thought I was trying to be more loving. I was greatly relieved tto know that she actually liked all my cleaning and it made me feel good about doing it. I came to view it a way to serve her. But then I felt kind of ashamed that she didn't know the whole truth. I told her that it had started just as way to relieve sexual tension. I told her that it was her positive reaction to it that kept me going, but she was still disappointed to learn that it didn't originate with a desire to serve her.

Aside from that, it has been pretty mundane. I enjoy being locked and kept for my wife, and I'm glad that she has started to warm up to it. I've had some very frank discussions with her about my masturbation habit and why I needed something like this to kick that habit. She just really had no clue what the male libido is like and how addictive masturbation is for a guy. Now she's starting to understand why this is a good thing for me. Her initial reaction was, "Why can't you just quit through self control". After I explained to her about my struggle and how I had tried many times to quit, she began to understand that mere will power wasn't enough for me.

We also talked about why I enjoy being locked for her. Not just to stop masturbating (which is how this all started), but also as a feeling of belonging. I was a very lonely kid growing up, I never felt like I fit in or belonged in any social group at school. I saw my parents' relationship and really wanted to feel that kind of belonging to someone since I was about 12 years old. Anything in our relationship that makes me feel like I belong to my wife is really wonderful for me. When she touches me in an affectionate and/or sexual way, when she talks to me about deep or intimate things, and being locked in chastity to preserve my sexuality for her. All of these things fill that desire to belong.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

There have been some very big changes over the last week. I was really questioning what my sexual role should be in our marriage. I feel disappointed after intercourse, for all the effort it takes to get her to agree to do it, I just pump a few times, squirt, and it's over in a matter of minutes. She has always disliked intercourse, and that made it very difficult for us. She doesn't get aroused because she dreads intercourse, which means she doesn't get wet and she's very tense. Even with lube, it's a painful experience for her.

Knowing that I'm always dissapointed by intercourse and she dreads it, I started wondering if we would be better off without it. I was searching around and found this gem of a blog http://mychastehubby.blogspot.com/.

This lady seemed to have written her blog posts just for me. She addressed all of the problems and disappointments my wife and I have had with a typical male orgasm and intercourse oriented sex life.

I shared the blog with my wife, expecting her to say it was crazy. To my shock, she said she thought I was on to something. We had a talk about our sex life and what we really want from it, and we both decided that I will only be having orgasms on the rare occasions she might feel like having intercourse.

So far we have made love three times since then, and what a difference. My wife actually gets aroused and wet now. I think the absence of the pressure to have intercourse really helps her to relax and loosen up. She is absolutely fun now, she teases me, pulls on my cage, and just knows how to push all of my buttons. I honestly don't miss having intercourse or an orgasm (so far). We'll see how the coming weeks and months go, but so far this is a very positive change for us.
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WifeIsVanilla
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Location: Central NC

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

It sounds as if you are serious enough about the lifestyle that you are ready to upgrade your device to something easier to keep clean such as a Mature Metal Jail Bird. You can stay spiffy clean without ever needing to take a JB off.
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Past Devices: Curve & CB 6000s. Both broke, were repaired; then broke beyond repair.
Current Devices: MM Jail Bird, Cobra, MM Watchful Mistress, Holy Trainer v3, a new Curve & the dreaded Spiked Chamber.
Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

WifeIsVanilla wrote:It sounds as if you are serious enough about the lifestyle that you are ready to upgrade your device to something easier to keep clean such as a Mature Metal Jail Bird. You can stay spiffy clean without ever needing to take a JB off.
Actually, it's funny you mention that. My wife took the time to look at the different chastity devices for sale, and that was the particular model that she said she found repulsive looking. She told me that she liked my Holy Trainer best because it doesn't look like a torture device and the smooth edges and feel of it are nice for her. She doesn't think she would like the feel of metal against her if I rub against her during love making.
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WifeIsVanilla
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Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:36 pm
Location: Central NC

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

Beauty is in the eye of the Key Holder! :D
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Past Devices: Curve & CB 6000s. Both broke, were repaired; then broke beyond repair.
Current Devices: MM Jail Bird, Cobra, MM Watchful Mistress, Holy Trainer v3, a new Curve & the dreaded Spiked Chamber.
Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock »

Last night my wife wanted to have intercourse. I wasn't really sure I wanted it. I have some emotional problems with intercourse and all the problems we've had with it through the years. Well, my wife talked me into it eventually.

I had been locked for two and a half weeks at this point. Several times making love to my wife with no release for me. Two and a half weeks must have been enough time to let my body build up a lot of hormones, because I must say that was the most aggressive I have ever felt in bed. And the orgasm was unbelievable. I nearly passed out afterward. The feeling immediately afterward reminded me of when you have surgery and the anesthetist asks you to count backward from 10, and you're out before you hit 7.

I think we've found something pretty special. Making me wait a few weeks between orgasms makes them WAY more powerful.
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