[nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby LockedandLoved » Tue Sep 08, 2015 7:26 am

Sounds like you had a case of blue balls (ie being kicked in the nuts as you mentioned).

That's common with many of us. I think something about his e cage restricts you as well as the lack of orgasms causes congestion. Sometimes a warm shower or bath will help. Usually just time.

Your wife has probably realized that being a keyholder is largely a passive activity. She doesn't have to DO anything....just hold your key. She can establish when she wants you out for sex and then after you are locked back up she can go back to whatever she wants to do. Meanwhile you are more focused on sex than ever largely because you have a device wrapped around you that sends you little reminders every few moments, hours, etc

It's a great ride and we all experience it differently. Congrats on your progress so far.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:46 am

Yeah, I think I'm in this device "forever."

At the end of the memorial day weekend I was pretty much putty for her. So I said that I had something I wanted to confess to her. I told her that I have been addicted to masturbation ever since puberty, and this period of being locked up was the longest I'd gone without masturbation. (No lie.)

I said I felt guilty sneaking around behind her back trying to hide it and I didn't want to feel that dishonesty anymore. She admitted to me that she had also been addicted to it when I was at my previous job where I traveled pretty frequently. But she says she broke herself of that habit.

We made love and started to talk about it more. She said she understood and that she felt it wasn't a bad thing. She didn't like that I snuck around and jerked off without her knowing about it, but that she wasn't comfortable knowing when I was going to do it, so the cage went back on and I was informed that if I really felt guilty about sneaking around and doing it without her knowledge then she'd help me to break the habit.

It's actually a good feeling for me, because I did feel guilty about it. When we got married, we both agreed that "the two shall become one flesh" and masturbation without the knowledge of your spouse is separating your flesh from your spouse. So as we talked more, we realized that I'm probably going to have times when I'm sexually interested in her not out of love, but as a substitute for masturbation. So we agreed that it was her judgement call on whether or not my interest was out of love (and I'd be likely to be let out and we could fool around, but no guarantee) or as a substitute for masturbation (denied.) I told her she never had to feel guilty about denying me, because in that moment I'm likely to confuse love for her with an intense desire for an orgasm. So we agreed that no matter how I felt, no matter how vigorously I begged or pleaded, I will accept her judgement and she will not feel guilty if she says no.

I also mentioned that I have no problem with her masturbating as long as I get to watch, and letting me watch could be her way of showing me love with what is usually a selfish act (C'mon, who among us doesn't have that fantasy!)

I also told her that any teasing regardless of whether the cage comes off or not is a great way for her to let me know that she hasn't forgotten about the fact that I'm locked up. I think she teased me in her sleep last night. She grabbed my arm and pulled me across to spoon TIGHTLY with her. My cage was tight against her backside. Every couple minutes she'd move her butt around and grind against my cage. GOOD GRIEF! This went on for about 20 minutes, and by the time she stopped and let go of my arm so I could roll over to my side of the bed she was sound asleep and I was awake and uselessly horny and wide awake for hours! At the start of it all I thought she might be starting something intentionally, so I started kissing the back of her neck. She reached back and pushed my head away. Nope, she wasn't starting playtime.

So if I get let out for a shower to clean myself and the device, does that count as being unlocked?
If I'm let out for 5 minutes to have PIV and I'm allowed to orgasm but it's right back in the cage when we're done, does that count as being let out?

The reason I ask is because when I started this post with "I'm in this device forever" I didn't mean to imply that I'm never having an orgasm again, but that I may wind up living the rest of my life with my wife deciding when, where, how, and why I get to have an orgasm, and this cage may come off for very little else. She seems to be very comfortable with keeping me in it now.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby locked4her55 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 8:27 am

nervous newb wrote:So if I get let out for a shower to clean myself and the device, does that count as being unlocked?
If I'm let out for 5 minutes to have PIV and I'm allowed to orgasm but it's right back in the cage when we're done, does that count as being let out?

The reason I ask .

Hey nervous newb,

Just a 'heads up', as you may not get many replies to your questions in the Journal section since this is a place to describe your journey. viewtopic.php?f=15&t=18227

Tell us here what's going on, but ask your question in one of the other areas here.

Looking forward to hearing more about how things are progressing for you and your wife.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Thu Sep 10, 2015 7:50 pm

NEW RECORD!!! For the first time since hitting puberty I've gone a full week (and counting) without masturbating! Now if I could start going more than 48 hours without getting blue balls...
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:28 am

Someone had posted somewhere on this site to use a nylon to put the cage on, and I struggled with that so I was using a touch of massage lotion or body lotion to put my cage on. Recently I tried the nylon stocking trick again and got better results in a number of different ways. First, I didn't let the head of my penis get pulled all the way to the end of the cage. The first time I tried this method I did and my head started to pull out the pee slot at the end of the cage. NOT GOOD! Fortunately I got it back through without damaging my penis or the cage. Subsequent attempts at the nylon method had my penis sitting "too high" in the cage and making it very uncomfortable. So Friday I pulled the nylon "down" out of the pee slot (keeping the head of my penis just barely in the head of the penis shaped cage.) EUREKA!! Everything went in nice and comfortable. Not only that, but I didn't get blue balls the second day, and I'd been considering using a smaller spacer due to an occasional ball escaping the ring. Last night I had a few overnight erections (my wife wore some pajamas that really turn me on) and I didn't get the ball burn I normally get and I got close to an escaped ball, but it didn't happen. So I don't know if any of that is attributed to the dry install of the cage or if my body is beginning to get used to the device.
My wife also told me she didn't think she could keep up with my sexual appetite. I told her that she didn't have to. I told her that I gave her the key so that she could decide when she's ready and when she's not, and to decide when I'm ready and when I'm not. I told her that I understand that it'll be difficult getting used to telling me "no" but that it's perfectly ok to tell me no, and if I wasn't signing up for that, I wouldn't have given her the key. I think that relieved her mind a bit knowing that I was ok with her telling me no.
In fact, she and I need to have a discussion about my addiction to masturbation/orgasms. I don't want to be selfish about sex with her. I've grown accustomed to having an orgasm whenever and wherever I want. As a result, sex with her became a selfish act for me as just another means to achieve an orgasm. Sex wasn't about love and intimacy, it was about fulfilling my needs. I need to discuss a "cold turkey" option with her about my orgasms. I feel like I need to eliminate that selfish motivation with a selfless motivation, and I wonder if my body and mind need to have the possibility of the negative motivation eliminated before being retrained with the positive motivation.
Ok, those thoughts are getting a little too deep for not having a cup of coffee yet on a Saturday morning.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Sun Sep 13, 2015 5:23 pm

This weekend has had some wild thoughts running through my head.

Saturday I was in such discomfort after not having an orgasm since Wednesday night that my wife let me out of the device and we had sex Saturday afternoon. All the discomfort was gone instantly, and it left me feeling life I didn't want to get back in the cage. After the "afternoon delight" she took off to go shopping and took her key, which I know means "lock back up." When I woke up from my nap, I was erect and about ready to masturbate, but trying to get over doing that behind her back is important to me (she took the key, she wants me to lock up and not masturbate.) So I grabbed my cage and headed into the bathroom. After using the toilet I washed up and grabbed the cage to put it back on, and I kept feeling like I could just masturbate and leave the cage off. I was conflicted. For the first time I really really didn't want to be caged, but knew I was high risk at this moment to masturbate if I didn't. I slightly begrudgingly put it back on and clicked it locked.
I was kind of out of sorts the rest of the afternoon, and spoke with my wife about it that evening. We theorized that my body may be conditioned after 20+ years of masturbating at least daily that my body was incapable of going cold turkey without severe discomfort, and she's designed a tentative plan to try to extend the lockup by a few hours each time (12-24 hours) until I was better able to tolerate longer gaps between orgasms. We also spoke about getting a device more designed for long term chastity. The cb6ks was designed as a novelty toy. So we discussed the HTC V2 (any feedback on that is appreciated. Some of the other issues we're trying to head off is the crunching of my testicles between the cage and base ring as I have attempted erections. My erections pull the base ring out away from my body, but my balls don't travel along with it. When we were using longer spacers I had escaped testicles. Right now we're on the largest ring and 3rd largest spacer that came with the device. So far it's the largest combination that doesn't result in an escaped nut. We tried a smaller ring, but it was too small (painful.) We also realized my body will need a good bit of time to adapt to chastity and it won't happen in a week or two. So feedback on a device is appreciated, pm is OK. I'm a grower, I fit into the cb6ks cage flaccid with just a tiny touch of room to spare, and when fully erect go to 7.5 inches. I'm a bit high and tight with the testicles. Feedback from users that fit that description that use the HT V2 is extremely appreciated. We just don't want to waste our money on a device that isn't going to work for us, but we're not ready to pony up for a custom metal device just yet.
I'm also wondering if I'm going through a little hormone trouble. I'm used to 7-10 orgasms a week. In the last week I've had 3. I feel a little out of sorts this weekend.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:35 pm

TwistedMister wrote:
nervous newb wrote:...CB6000s direct from China (on the cheap.)...Since our item hasn't arrived on our doorstep yet, I technically still know absolutely nothing and I think I've started this thread as a way to find support/suggestions as my willing wife and I start this journey in a few weeks...I also want to make sure that if there's any sharp plastic edges from the manufacturing process that I get time to sand those all smooth.


First suggestion: as soon as that thing arrives, toss it in the trash and get a genuine CB6000s direct from the US company.

Since this is your Journey thread, I'll skip the rant about how the purchase of cheap counterfeits undermines the efforts of the makers of the genuine article to produce a quality device. Nuff said about that.

If you want to decrease the amount of pain and suffering reported by purchasers of the cheap fakes, be prepared not only for sanding/smoothing, but also filling in the grooves with epoxy, and perhaps splitting the cage portion yourself (before it splits on its own and gives you a nasty gash) and re-assembling it with a high-quality bonding agent. Also, be prepared for broken guide pins and/or the rings cracking in the areas where the guide pins go through.


Tom Allen wrote:
TwistedMister wrote:First suggestion: as soon as that thing arrives, toss it in the trash and get a genuine CB6000s direct from the US company.


+1


First, a public apology to TwistedMister and Tom Allen. I was initially unjustly dismissive of their experienced advice. I shouldn't have been.
I still stand by a part of my statement from my response: that as my wife and I purchased this thing primarily as a novelty toy and at the time had no intention of a long-term lockup (at the time I had a high degree of anxiety about it turning into that) I wasn't willing to spend $150 on something I'd consider a toy. Maybe if it's a new engine for the model trainset in the basement (my kids do love Thomas,) but as we were just beginning to experiment with introducing a "toy" into our sex life, she and I decided together it was a financially smarter decision to pay less money for a cheap knockoff so we wouldn't be too disappointed if it wasn't everything we'd hoped it would be, and allocate our resources elsewhere.
Well, this has turned into a longer term lockup. I admitted to my wife I was addicted to hard-core porn and masturbating. So we've gone into a 24/7 type of lockup with the understanding that I may have to get out to get sizing correct and take some time to adapt to being caged all day every day (and night.) Yes, there have been some adjustments. So since we're taking it seriously enough now, we decided after less than 10 days of nearly 24/7 lockup that it's time to get a device that's more comfortable to wear on a daily/nightly basis. So I was given the green light to order a Holy Trainer V2 today, with the anti-pullout piece/option/upgrade/not sure what to call it. We decided chastity was enough of a priority to spend some cash to get something that will wear more comfortably. We're discovering some of the downfalls in comfort of our cheap Chinese knockoff of a CB6ks. To be completely fair, it's possible that the same issues would exist with a genuine CB6ks, but we're at the point where we want to make sure we're purchasing a quality product. So we thought about both, and after reading reviews and considering the options, I got to decide on 1) using what we've got for long-term, 2) Buying a real CB6ks, 3) Buying a different device. Option 1 wasn't super appealing. Even though the CB6ks seems to be a good device, something that requires less than 7 pieces to go from freedom to lockdown seemed to make sense. The reviews of the HTV2 also were a big influence - many people said it's the most comfortable non-custom device you can buy. I like comfort. Lastly, it was within our budget. So if we were going to spend $150+ on a device, I decided that I'd prefer to spend an extra couple bucks on one that has been reviewed as the most comfortable off-the-shelf device available. I know there's probably a number of people that say that silicone cages are more comfortable, and they might be right, but I was also trying to balance that with security. I've seen videos of guys being given orgasms by squeezing their silicone cages repeatedly until they were able to cum. Now I know that all devices are able to be defeated, but it's like security for a house. No matter what you put in for a security system, if someone really really really wants to get into your house and try to steal something, they'll get into your house. But there are things you can do to make it harder for them, and things like installing real or fake video cameras, locking your doors and windows, planting thorn bearing bushes in front of grown level windows, putting security system stickers on the windows, etc. might be enough to deter someone thinking of breaking into your house.
I also know some people that say that if you can quit masturbating while in chastity, you can quit masturbating without being in chastity. For many people that may be true. Personally, I tried. I tried cold turkey. I tried an elaborate schedule designed to wean myself off masturbating over a period of months. No matter how determined I was to quit, I was an addict, and I relapsed easily. I don't know if there's a chemical addiction, but am definitely psychologically addicted to orgasms. The longest I ever went without masturbating before chastity was 2 days. Since my wife took control on 9/3, it's now 9/14 and I haven't masturbated in 11 days. Dang, I SURE WANT TO THOUGH!!!!! But I avoid reading stuff that tells me how to beat the device because I genuinely want this to work. I told my wife about the times of my day and week when I'm weakest and we have to make absolutely sure I'm wearing the device and she can check later to see if I used my emergency key or worked my way out (yes, I'm sure I could pull myself out, but I get a feeling it would be much more of a struggle to reinsert.) Basically we both know it can be beaten, but we're trying to make it as difficult as possible to beat it. I get to have my device off for church. She and I both know that no matter how horny I get, it's highly unlikely that I'll masturbate in church sitting with my wife and kids. This is a tool in the toolbox that she and I have as we operate as a team to improve our marriage. It's not a magic bullet, it's a tool in the toolbox and a tool is only as quality as the craftsman/woman using it.
Thanks to the people who have written reviews on the different devices and posted about your experiences with different devices. Maybe in a few months or a year we'll actually spring for the holy grail of chastity: a custom device. But that will likely wait as I want to buy a Remington 1100 for trap shooting and a Glock 27 to replace my 9mm pop gun as my conceal carry piece first...
For now I'm taking TwistedMister and Tom Allen's sound advice to spend some real bucks and get a quality chastity device. Custom is probably in the future somewhere.
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Tue Sep 15, 2015 5:24 pm

Well we seem to be making some progress. Last week we went from Wednesday night to Saturday afternoon without me having an orgasm. That was the longest I've gone since hitting puberty. The time gaps prior to that since we started chastity (about 2 weeks ago) were even shorter. So even that was a step forward in how long I could go before I would get so horribly uncomfortable with the build-up in my prostate and balls that she would uncage me and grant me a well appreciated release out of pity for the obvious discomfort I was in. So if the same thing were to have happened in the same timeframe as Wednesday to Saturday, I should be experiencing some pretty bad discomfort right now. I did feel things starting to fill up early this morning before I got up for the day, but it wasn't really uncomfortable. Then mid-morning I did start o get uncomfortable, but it was tolerable. Then mid-afternoon it actually started to settle down! I might be able to make it 4 days without an orgasm! Shoot that still sounds like it sucks.
Thank goodness for my KH, she is so supportive and reminds me that I can't expect to go from 10 orgasms a week to none or 1 and not expect to experience a need for gradual change. She's a top notch gal.
So when I ordered the original device (the CB6ks knockoff from China) the shipping said it could take from 15-40 days to arrive. It only took 9 or 10, but not being able to track the shipment really had me edgy thinking about how things were going to go once it finally got here. I'm glad I spend very little for a cheap device, because I was able to get some sizing dialed in. Now I'm happy to have ordered a better quality device from a domestic distributor because I CAN TRACK THE PACKAGE!!!! :D :D :D :D :D
It's going to be here Thursday! I am so excited, I can't wait! I have such anticipation to see how much more comfortable it will be than this cheap Chinese CB knockoff. Why can't it be here NOW? :cry:
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Fri Sep 18, 2015 6:43 pm

The HT V2 came yesterday and I was in it almost immediately. It went on a lot easier than I thought it would, I wasn't sure about the logistics of putting your balls through the ring and then the shaft, I'd never done that before so I wasn't sure how that was going to go (all I'd known prior to this was the partial ring of the CB6ks.) But it went in fine, I did feel a little sympathy for my shaft as I was forcing it through the ring. It wasn't painful, but it looked strange. If there truly was a brain down there, it probably would have felt humiliated for how silly it looked getting pushed around to go into the ring. I got the 50mm ring because it appeared to be about the same size as the 2" ring on the CB. BUT, this ring does fit quite a bit bigger. I think we're going to have to order the 45mm ring and see if I can wear that comfortably. Otherwise it's possible that security could be an issue. WHICH may not be a big issue because we also got the Guardian Anti-Pullout to go with the HT V2. We're not using it yet, it does need some fine-tuning which will probably happen over the weekend. I wore it overnight right away, and it does feel much more comfortable than the CB. I had some mild attempts at erections before bed but the HT V2 either stifles them a little better than the CB did, or my body is starting to make further adjustments to chastity to prevent erections from getting serious while in chastity. It is less noticeable under clothes. I was able to wear basketball shorts in the evening around the house and if there had been other people around they wouldn't have noticed anything. Can't say the same about the CB.
My body temp doesn't heat it up enough for the outside of the cage to get soft, but the inside of my cage may be getting slightly soft to make the thing more comfortable than the CB. Sometimes the comfort is almost a little creepy. For example, sometimes the cage is so comfortable it's like it's not even there, and since my penis is inside the cage, it's almost like that isn't there either. I find myself sometimes touching the cage just to make sure everything is still there.
It did tug on my balls when I had morning wood at 6am this morning, but didn't cause the intense burning like I felt with the CB. I was also able to sleep on my stomach a bit without any discomfort. So, thusfar after 24 hours, I'm very happy with the device, I'll probably wait a couple weeks to order the 45mm ring, and I'll work on fine-tuning the anti-pullout Guardian.
KH has been tired lately and hasn't been up for much teasing. I told her "I feel a bit neglected and forgotten about." Then I stopped and said in disbelief: "Did I just start a sentence to you with "I feel?!""
That's new...
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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Postby nervous newb » Sat Sep 19, 2015 2:53 pm

Last night I mentioned to my wife again that I was feeling a little neglected/forgotten about sexually. I asked if I could be unlocked and given a little attention while we were watching a movie. She said she wasn't up to the full sexual experience and I told her I'd be very happy just getting touched for awhile, no orgasm necessary. She said she could do that. It happened and I had a few thoughts that interested me about it. First, we kept the HT V2 base ring on, and if she pulled "up" the top of the base of my shaft hit the lock interface and was rather painful. "PUSH DOWN PLEASE!"
Secondly, this morning I expected to be uncomfortable from the teasing, but actually felt comfortable like I HAD had an orgasm. So I mentioned that to her and she said if that's the case we should try to go longer between orgasms for me to try to break the masturbation habit that she doesn't like me to have. So I found myself buying climax control condoms and lube at CVS today. She says we're playing tonight (I've been a good boy today) but from the looks of it she's going to be doing everything in her power to enjoy it to the fullest while preventing me from having an orgasm at all.
It might be time for her and I to sit down and talk about rules and expectations for everything. We've had a little over two weeks now to get acclimated to sizing, find a comfortable chastity piece, explore and talk. I think this may be the next step. We may want to outline the rules, goals, and expectations for the next 2-3 months and get a bit more serious about our chastity mindsets.
Also got the anti-pullout Guardian trimmed to a proper size for the device, so that's in now to stay as long as it doesn't irritate my body when it shouldn't be.
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