[sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

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[sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Sat Aug 01, 2015 7:16 am

I'd experimented with a chastity device for a few weeks now, and could really feel some positive benefits to a life of denial, restraint and so forth. However, I still had one major hurdle to overcome: Mrs sexy_cheese.

She's a very vanilla lady, fantastic to be with but things had become mundane. There are many complex reasons for this, and some of it was down to my more wayward nature. So I wrote down my thoughts, ideas and eventually proposing the idea of chastity. To say I was nervous when I handed her the lengthy letter was an understatement. (For those curious, I tend to fumble my words when I speak, so we always communicate big things with letters, and then discussion - I find it easier) :|

She loved the idea. Not a gushing, expressive love the idea, but a 'this is a good step forward for us' kind of thing. She asked lots of questions, realised the connection between my changed demeanour and the time I'd been using the cage, so lots of positives.

After a cleanup later today, she will become my keyholder. This makes me both excited and nervous. It's exactly what I wanted, and exactly what she needed at this stage of our marriage. :D
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sherulestherooster » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:25 am

Pretty cool. For what it's worth, it has taken my formerly vanilla wife years to get where we are today. But the journey has been very rewarding!!
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby lockedsteve » Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:04 pm

Wish you luck. My wife is extra vanilla and submissive to me. We had a few false starts but once we ignored what we read on those websites that made chastity a D/s thing, we found the path best for us. We just do chastity when and as we wish to do it. Sometimes I am denied for months and at other times, weeks. I do have a say in the chastity period because my wife gets me to agree to the denial term. As she says, if it is not fun for me and her, why do it? The initial thrill and excitement wears off after a while and that is when you need to set a path that is realistic for the both of you. Have fun. I know that I did. Not as much fun now because it has been almost two years of this and the shine is coming off the penny so to speak. We are starting to take chastity breaks inbetween denial periods. My behavior has reverted to as it was before chastity which my wife says she was happy with. Claims that I was smothering her with too much attention when first locked up. She prefers me to be the man of the house and her the loving and supportive wife. We figured out a way to do chastity that works for us and so will you.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Sat Aug 01, 2015 4:34 pm

Well, an update from later on in the day now. I've just handed over all three keys to the padlock for the CB that now restricts me. I could swear there was a slight smirk on her face :)

We've laid some ground rules, terms of release, etc. It's kinda fluid at the moment, but she is pretty on board with being the holder of freedom and not in a D/s way. For me, chastity is a method of control of wayward hands, a way of restoring trust with my wife (for complex reasons) and also encouraging her to think of her own sexual needs.

But my heart is thumping loud. I've just given away access to my manhood - willingly. :shock:
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Mon Aug 03, 2015 3:41 am

I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks now. Mrs sexy_cheese is capitalising on her new-found powers as the keyholder... (I've obviously excluded the list for personal reasons).

I just wish I knew what the total was for freedom :o
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby Joroincharge » Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:12 pm

sexy_cheese wrote:I'd experimented with a chastity device for a few weeks now, and could really feel some positive benefits to a life of denial, restraint and so forth. However, I still had one major hurdle to overcome: Mrs sexy_cheese.

She's a very vanilla lady, fantastic to be with but things had become mundane. There are many complex reasons for this, and some of it was down to my more wayward nature. So I wrote down my thoughts, ideas and eventually proposing the idea of chastity. To say I was nervous when I handed her the lengthy letter was an understatement. (For those curious, I tend to fumble my words when I speak, so we always communicate big things with letters, and then discussion - I find it easier) :|

She loved the idea. Not a gushing, expressive love the idea, but a 'this is a good step forward for us' kind of thing. She asked lots of questions, realised the connection between my changed demeanour and the time I'd been using the cage, so lots of positives.

After a cleanup later today, she will become my keyholder. This makes me both excited and nervous. It's exactly what I wanted, and exactly what she needed at this stage of our marriage. :D

Sounds good to me. :D
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Wed Aug 05, 2015 2:25 am

As I'd written in an earlier post, the situation was pretty fluid for us as we adapted to male chastity. She liked the benefits, and seemed happy to take the keys, and the control on this situation. We discussed at great length about it, how it works, etc. Relieved and convinced it doesn't hurt (which it doesn't really, except around 5am for the early morning erections :shock: ) she seemed a lot more relaxed about it.

I even had her fondle my parts yesterday after an intense kissing session. The passing comment after was "Nice to know you're kissing me without any ulterior motives"

So last night we talked more about it. I have a big birthday coming up (one of those round number ones) and talked about being released for it. It was simply up to her, I stated. She has the keys, and it's at her discretion whether I am let out. She said she'll think about it.

We also started making it a game. It's probably a variation on the dice games. She had 2D6 and rolled for a starting number of days. She will roll and add days if I am not pleasing her. She will also roll and subtract days if I really please her. There is one crucial element to all this.

I don't know the number of days, nor do I know if she rolls for adding/subtracting. :o She will only hand me the keys when I reach 0 again - whenever that will be!

More rules - aside from cleaning and emergency releases, I am in no way allowed to ask for release, or to imply I need to be satisfied (as intercourse is painful, we either take it really gently or she gives me handjobs). As she said that one, I could just tell she was loving it. I can be rather expressive with my sad, shocked and horrified faces :) The final rule was that if either of us argue, it is an automatic week extra in the cage, non-negotiable. We found that on a site explaining MC from a female perspective. I can get a little tetchy, but have to apologise. If either of us raises our voices at each other, the week goes on.

Couple of other amusing points which make me think she's really enjoying this:
The keys are marked 'WD' - she now calls it "Willy Detention" :lol: .
If I am let out for my birthday, she said:
"It will be an evening pass only. You will take it off, clean up, come and do as I say, then when we have finished, it will be going straight back on."

Damn, Mrs sexy_cheese can be quite demanding and mischievous too.
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Fri Aug 07, 2015 2:14 pm

Mrs sexy_cheese is transforming into something completely new - at least to me. I always had an inkling she secretly loved control. There were several clues throughout the years, from the way she liked things cleaned 'her way' or that something had to be in the correct place, or how we would discuss the food shopping, etc.

So here I am, now with a wife who seems completely on board with things, giving me a little wiggle of her hand like she has the keys in it, or giving me a new version of 'the look' :x that might incur a penalty dice roll.

Last night she tried to tease me. I was utterly blown away. I figured it would be a long time before she would want any playtime with me with my CB on, but she surprised me (again). Teasing me with the fact I was only allowed to 'look but not touch' :shock: , she stripped, rubbed herself on my straining cage, all with murmurings along the lines of 'how much do you want me?' By the end of it I was prepared to do anything, but she was having none of it! This went on for some time, and she had threatened earlier to get a feather duster she has (I'm VERY ticklish), but fortunately forgot about it by this the time. She finally allowed some PIV, but no orgasm. This was mostly due to her hormone levels, as Mrs sexy_cheese had an emergency full hysterectomy seven years back, and intercourse is challenging at the best of times, as well as keeping the right balance of hormone in her body.

Having now been locked for a week with her as the keyholder, it was an incredible experience. Sensations like nothing I've had before. I would liken it to being in the dark for a long time, then suddenly seeing sunlight. It was intense. I struggled not to orgasm, and succeeded in stopping myself short. Good timing, as she was struggling herself. Due to the hysterectomy, PIV can be incredibly uncomfortable for her, meaning it would take me a long time to help her relax. Last night she was so relaxed I was in in seconds - compared to around 3-5 minutes of gentle probing before I could really get started. Something had definitely helped her relax, and I'm sure the manipulative power she now has over me is the key. Maybe the fact she doesn't need to have me inside her helped, we are still trying to work this out, playing around with ideas at the moment to see what works and what does not. The introduction of a more 'fun' element in our lovemaking has certainly broken down some of the more serious aspects to it, meaning that instances like last night really do help her to want it more often - something she confessed was not on her agenda. Although I forced it with the revelation of the chastity device, she's taken the positives and run with them.

It seems to me we bond much more strongly now, quicker than the slower progress I was making pre-chastity days. Our relationship seems to be more playful, making me pleased she took the whole chastity play on board, became my keyholder, is learning to enjoy the teasing me (all with a guiding hand and discussion between ourselves) - we are in fact learning much about each other through this. The dynamics of power play through sexual acts seems to be more apparent now, and making sense for the both of us. What she initially dismissed as 'cruel' is becoming a source of learning (about me) and also a form of pleasure for her (which is new to her).

I'm informed the feather duster will be the first thing to make an appearance at the next tease session, whenever that is. :shock: :o
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby sexy_cheese » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:46 am

Warning - this entry may be quite long and wordy. The TL:DR version - wife had major surgery, sex not a major factor. Also, breakages.

Around 7 years ago, Mrs sexy_cheese had an 'emergency' total hysterectomy. She'd developed fibroids which were misdiagnosed until they were so large they were crushing other internal organs. They were putting enormous amounts of pressure on the bladder, and also starting to impair kidney function. It was the operation or die basically. Why am I saying this? Because it ripped out her desire for sex, pretty much completely. She often felt it was done out of a sense of duty to her husband, me.

I'd worked long and hard to help her feel comfortable, and yes, done things for my own benefit out of sheer frustration at the cost of her trust. The last to years I'd spent trying to rebuild that trust. Eventually I chanced upon chastity as both a kink for me, and a way to prove that I was going to keep myself totally for her. For her benefit, reassurance, comfort and playtime if she ever so needed.

As you know from earlier posts, she loved the idea. She teases me either in little ways (a quick grab of the balls) or bigger ones (putting on something I like and playing with me until I'm begging). It's given her something to play with in some ways, without the pain and discomfort that PIV brings her.

The last tease session she let me PIV, and I noticed after that she didn't need anything near the slow, gradual penetration in order to help her stretch. She was totally relaxed. We talked about this after, and she agreed. It will continue.

But the hysterectomy comes with its drawbacks - the emotional state of Mrs sexy_cheese fluctuates on an almost daily basis. I could say the same thing to her two different days and get different outcomes. For her, the change in me, and her simple reminder of 'I have the keys' can produce a little joy to her, lifting her mood a little. The other drawback is her desire for PIV lovemaking is almost non-existent, and still feels like a chore for her, allowing it for my benefit. We've yet to have a tease session where I get nothing apart from the vain attempts at an erection and she goes to sleep content and satisfied. Which I know from talking we both want to do, it's just when she is in a stable mood to do so.

I was let out for a thorough clean yesterday, and noticed that the replacement ring was already developing cracks on the mounting points - that really annoyed me. After only a week, the new ring was starting to fail. So I did a little looking around, and found this:
http://www.toys4naughtyboys.co.uk/image/cache/data/Chastity/Stainless-Steel-Male-Chastity-500x500.jpg

I know it's not a super-expensive, but it's a: steel, b: sturdier, and importantly, slightly shorter (50mm length as opposed to the CB6ks 65mm). My foreskin just about reaches the middle of the head of the cage when standing, so I always have this impression I'm not fitting - which I guess I'm not. Not only that, it's got more open sides, meaning I can clean easier. It'll be here tomorrow, and I'm hoping to give some idea of how it feels/works. Mrs sexy_cheese is going to be in for a surprise.
"She waved the keys in front of me and with a sly grin said 'You'll never see these again unless I let you out'" - my wife.
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Re: [sexy_cheese] The wife loves the idea...

Postby crated51 » Tue Aug 11, 2015 8:21 am

Currently wearing the same style you're getting. Use a shapening stone to round the back of the locking post - much more comfortable. This is subtle, but you'll notice the diameter of the back of the cage is smaller than the head. 1- 3/8" verses 1-1/2".
It's not happy people that are thankful, it's thankful people that are happy.
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