[Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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locked4her55
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by locked4her55 »

:( Sorry to hear things haven't turned around for you.
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lockedsteve
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by lockedsteve »

Same here. We had a few false starts until we defined chastity in our own terms stripped of all the D/s and FLR stuff. My wife felt guilt and health concerns for about 8 months . Communication and taking baby steps was the key for us. We had an agreement that at the end of the first 12 months, my wife and I would decide if we make it our sexual lifestyle or not. My wife jumped the gun and told me in month 11 that she wanted to do this all the time because she felt powerful in the bedroom and my moans of sexual frustration triggered her orgasms which she said were some of the best of her life.

At that time, my wife got sole control of my orgasms after we first talked about it. She said if it was solely up to her I would never cum again but she knew that was not practical. She suggested one orgasm a year and I said 3. We compromised at 2 a year and that is what we are trying now. Depending on how I handle it, we may try for only 1 the following year but it could be 3, depending on the results of our current chastity period.

I am able to go as long as my wife likes because I know that no matter what she says, she will let me cum if she feels I am in mental or physical distress. The same goes for 24/7 wear of my chastity device. We view chastity as a co-operative effort. We make sure that both myself and my wife (HK) are getting benefits and pleasure from it. We are not looking to set any chastity records for longest time with no orgasm or being locked in a cage unless there is a prize for doing so. We are exploring my limits and we may extend them or shorten them depending on what keeps it fun for us.
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Nat
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Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:04 pm

Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

Thanks for your support. I have spent the last few months in deep contemplation about what I did wrong. This was driven by me in the first place, so I feel responsible for its end. I have tried to bury my desires for chastity but they keep resurfacing. How can you turn off a light that burned so bright and for me started so long ago? I can’t and although my wife told me she couldn’t deal with it any longer I feel I have to talk to her about it when I get back from this trip away or I will implode. It’s difficult to fantasize about vanilla sex now too. I can’t help thinking there must be some middle ground we can agree on?
Things have slipped back into the old routine and there doesn’t seem to be any emotional intimacy between us either. Maybe it’s the physical distance talking? It’s easy to get melancholy while apart.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

Its been quite a few weeks since I wrote anything down in this journey. I have just come back from a long trip away...too long, but on the positive, it will be the last for a long time and might even be the last time I have to say good by at the airport.
Some thing amazing happened on my first day back. As you know I had given up all hope of ever getting back what I feel I lost. All through my lack of communication and understanding of my wifes situation. I'm still kicking myself, even as I write this but its best not to dwell too much on the past is it? Our first night together after being apart is always very special. Very intimate, like being together for the first time again. Its nice to just lie next to my wife and feel the warmth of her skin and feel her body under my touch. We kissed and caressed each other for a long time before I needed to take things further. I slowly kissed my way down her beautiful body until I was at my favourite place, between her legs, teasing, caressing and loving her with my mouth. I was in heaven as I love doing this for my wife. I genuinely believe I can feel her orgasm through my mouth and love the way she pulls my head in to her when she comes...wow it makes me feel very special. I don't know how many orgasm's I gave her but I know she was very satisfied. At this point I was very happy and had a kind of bliss come over me as I remembered the wonderful times we used to have doing this. Anyway I kissed my way back up her body and she started to fondle my cock and balls as I was on all fours over her. It made me feel weak and dizzy as it had been so long since I had felt her touch. I was already leaking a bit, I had to admit.
This is when it happened. She told me that that was the first orgasm she had had in the two month we had been apart and that was why it was so strong for her. I was very disappointed that she hadn't felt the need for all that time. Sorry for her but glad she still had the desire for me. Then as she kept fondling me she asked how long it had been since I last had an orgasm... Well it had only been a day, and so I told her that. You have to be honest. She genuinely laughed at that, and thought it was very funny. Then she started on me again, doing all the things that drive me wild, edging me. I said, "are you edging me?" She said yes. I could tell she was really enjoying this and bringing me really close to the edge was making me crave her to take control of me again like before. I told her right then how much I missed her edging me. I missed having the control over me so badly. As she was edging me I was really hoping she didn't let me come because it felt so amazing. Then she stopped and said that was all I was getting since it had only been one day since my last orgasm. I was a bit stunned at what this meant. Did she want to control my orgasm's again? I asked and she said yes she did want to control them.
I was so happy in that moment. Pretty stunned but so grateful to have the chance at bliss again. I kept saying over and over in my head... Dont cock this up, don't cock this up this time! (sorry no pun intended). Take it easy don't be pushy, think about what she has just done for you and be very, very grateful, which I am.
So that is where we are right now, taking baby steps. No mention of using a device but I'm happy that she wants what she does.
One thing i had to reassure her about was that because I'm busy with work she doesn't want to put extra load on me but I don't see it as extra at all. In fact I feel I really need this more than ever when I'm busy as it takes my mind of business all the time. It gives me a balance. Its only been two days so I need to keep my expectation down and not let myself get carried away. Be grateful for the opportunity to start over.
I love her so much for making the effort and recognising the need in me for chastity. Its not something that I feel will ever go away. Its made me feel a lot more optimistic and very, very happy.
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