[Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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sishypus
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by sishypus »

Nat wrote:I need to come up with more ways to let m KH know how much I love and miss her. The usual mushy stuff at the end of an email just doesn't seam like enough knowing what she does for me. I need to let her know how grateful I am... Mmm better put some thought into that.
I wouldn't want to alleviate your responsibility of coming up with good ways to show her your appreciation, but you might consider something like sending her a gift cert for a massage or some other pampering while you're away (or a house cleaner). Remember, while you're traveling and struggling with your long distance lock-up, she's also being denied your usual attentions. Making sure she is still taken care of like your beloved princess seems like a good way to make her understand how important she (and her happiness) is to you.

You might also take the time to write out some of your mushy love notes by hand -- maybe once a week (or more if time permits) pick the passage from your emails that was most meaningful to you and/or complimentary to her and write it down in your best handwriting so that it would pretty enough to frame. You can send her photos of them by email, but also compile them to be delivered when you go home. Then she can choose to make a scrapbook or indeed frame them in your home as reminder of how grateful and in love with her you are.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

Thanks for the comments. I need to learn how to catch the written text of these...
Sishpus- Some great ideas. I'm sure my KH would love the letters idea.
Twistedmister- I totally agree with you comment, I simply repeated what my KH wrote me. Thats just how she feels. I guess she just doesn't want to know what other people get up to.

I have been starting to get some freaky dreams in my denied state...more than usual. I had a very uncomfortable awakening last night. The dream I had wad so real I felt I was actually there even after I realized I was dreaming and woke up. It was almost like a double awakening.

I had been fantasizing/ dreaming about a game we were playing. The game involved drawing cards and slavery! We had decided that I was to be a complete slave for the day and my KH wasn't to lift a finger and I had to obey her every command. The game started in the morning to determine what I had to wear and what she didn't. I started by being naked and she started the game dressed.

I know its complicated but I'm trying to explain a dream here, bear with me...

She had laid out various humiliating items on the bed for me to gamble against through card drawing such as, crotchless knickers, stockings, high heels, maids uniform, butt plug, wig and jewelry etc. The game started by her shuffling the cards, cutting the deck and turning over a card. If it was a numbered card I lost and she got to chose an item for me to wear for the day. If it was a face card such as Jack, queen or king she had to remove an item of clothing of her choice. If it was an ace the game ended.
First card turned was a number and she chose the crotchless knickers. They were black and frilly. Next was another number card. She chose a matching Bra. Next card was a face card. YShe chose to remove her blouse. Next card was a numbered card. she chose the stockings for me to wear but she made me shave my legs first! Next was a face card, she removed her skirt. Next a numbered card, she made me put on the high heels. Then she drew an ace and the game was over, so I was stuck wearing what I had on for the day.
She made me go and make her breakfast in bed, I was tottering around feeling very self conscious and not being able to walk very well in the heels. It was all very uncomfortable, like it wasn't happening to me. I very carefully brought the breakfast upstairs for her. I put it on her lap while she sat in bed. She made me stand to one side and wait for her to finish. She didn't talk to me until she was finished. Then she said, 'Slave take this away then come back to bathe me'. I did as commanded then ran her bath.
I undressed her and then washed her body, then she stood over me while I did her legs, pussy and bum. I started to get hard and she scolded me for that telling me off and to fetch a warm towel to dry her off. I did as instructed, and dried her off. She then told me to get back into the bedroom where she would punish me. She then bent me over the back of the foot board of the bed and gave me a spanking for getting hard looking at her naked body.
She then decided to watch TV while she instructed me to do the house chores. After an hour or so she called me in to the room to give her an orgasm with my mouth. I wasn't allowed to touch her with anything but my mouth. I got painfully hard in my cage and that's when I woke up! Bugger.
It took quite a while before I was able to get back into bed and sleep. I had to walk around for a bit first. Now I'm worried this will happen more and more often and I wont be getting the sleep I need? Maybe this is just a one off and it wont happen for a while?
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

Thankfully no erotic dream or painful night time erections but only 5 hours sleep. There maybe a link. I've been separated from my wife and KH for 12 days now and its not getting any easier for either of us. After the six weeks of fun and games leading up to my departure it has made it much worse being apart. I crave the contact and intimate moments we share. Its not the same trying to convey them in an email or phone call. It all seams a bit hollow. It has only bean the great poets or writers of the age that can capture these thoughts and I'm certainly not one of those.
Every time I come home after a trip is very special. It feels like being on honeymoon, so I'm wondering what it will feel like this time as the painful feelings associated with being apart are much stronger already. I just hope I can last until January without an orgasm. I have to be prepared that, that's what my KH wants? I have to have the self discipline and stay strong for her. It is much easier being locked up, to stay true, that's for sure. No device is 100% secure as we all know. Your only a set of pliers away from freedom. For me its just a plastic tag. My KH hasn't asked for proof I'm still locked yet so I couldn't have broken her faith too badly with the 'OrgasmGate' affair.

I introduced 'captioned' photo's to my KH. She had never seen one before. I wrote some appropriate words over a photo of her on our last night out together in a night club. I remember that night she looked especially hot in her short satin banded red dress and choker. It was before I started writing this blog. She was kind enough to let me go out without my cage on so we could dance better. Ahh. I still had the photos on my phone so downloaded them and added the text. She was impressed with the results loved it so much she asked me to do more... She said to give me more inspiration I should wear a pair of knickers while I do the next ones. Well I think she did?
She was a bit vague, she wrote- 'Love the photo I forgot all about that one. Wow I look good. Yes of course you can write a story with another picture or the same one. It would help you if you wore knickers I'm sure. I love the caption. x.' So I am waiting for her to confirm what she wants me to do. After 'OrgasmGate' I don't want to presume anything! I know she is feeling under the weather and very busy right now so I am deliberately keeping quite about teases and tasks. It just wouldn't be fair. In the mean time I will keep myself busy making some more captioned photo's for her...
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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My KH is loving the captioned photos I have done for her. I have sent her three now. Its a great way for me to express my desires without outwardly just asking her to do things. Maybe this way she will remember the things I have written about on the photos and do them for real one day? Well you can always dream

My KH tasked me with writing her a story entitled 'Teachers Pet'. I had to wear a pink lace thong while I wrote the story. I was only allowed 2 hours to wear them and complete the task. I love it when she is strict and precise with her instructions, that way there is no wriggle room to change her instruction. I feel like she has really thought it through then and is thinking of me doing the task for her. I will post the story in the fiction section of this forum as its a bit long to post here.

I look forward to her comments on my science fiction story.

I think sometimes she is unsure of what to do with me or what my situation is where I work so doesn't know what I can or cant do. I tried to reassure her that she can ask me to do anything she want. All I can do is try.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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My KH liked my story 'Teachers Pet' so much she gave me a treat to look forward to... No not an orgasm. It wasn't THAT good! It was pretty nerve wracking writing the story as I had to do it at work. I had to bring the thong with me and change in the toilet cubicle. I then had to go back to my work place to write the story. I hope my employer isn't reading this, as it wasn't a a productive 2 hours for them! After posting the story to my KH I then had to change back keeping the thong in my pocket. I was imagining how it would be if I got caught the whole time. I didn't really get to enjoy wearing the thong as I was furiously writing, trying to finish the story in the allotted time.
She said I was allowed to read some erotic literature as a reward for such a good job- whatever I liked for an hour and insert a butt plug while I'm reading...very thoughtful! Now I think of it, its quite demeaning too. Lucky me. She is really getting very good at hitting my buttons with tasks like this. I told her how much I appreciate the thought that she put into these task and all she does for me, not just the sexy stuff.

I'm looking forward to starting a new business venture in January which will allow me to spend more time at home. The motivation for this has been wanting to spend more time with my wife and KH. I know this sounds terrible as I should want to spend every day with her but the job I'm qualified to do cant be done at home. I have had to save very hard to get the cash together for the new business so there is a lot riding on it. If it works out it will be all worth while.

Doing tasks and things for my KH is fun and even exciting sometimes but its not the same as the one to one contact you get at home. Not even close. I still feel terribly home sick and hollow without my wife & KH. I'm sure she must feel the same way, not just because of the added work load when I'm gone but the emotional support. When ever she has a hard time at home it breaks my heart as I cant reach out and give her a hug or rub her back and tell hers its going to OK.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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I really enjoyed my last task from my KH. I downloaded a couple of short stories to my iBooks app. One called 'Ride a cock Horse', set in the 1800's and about a stuck up lady who gets seduced by a charismatic Heathcliff type character. He has her riding a special rocking horse with an ivory phalus in the saddle while using a riding crop on her to encourage her. The second was about a wife who feminizes her husband. I had to insert a butt plug while for two hours but through circumstance couldn't do both at once. My KH understood why.
I was dead tired after work so fell asleep with the plug still in me. I woke realizing, so went to the bathroom to remove it etc. Once I got back into bed I had great difficulty getting back to sleep as I kept thinking about the first time my KH pegged me.
Things at work will get really busy for a while so don't know if I'll be able to keep this journal up at the same kind of pace. Once again I will be moving around... It sucks living out of a bag. It will only be for a week or so and I doubt if I'll have any time to do tasks for my KH so wont be that interesting.
In the mean time I'm glad my story put my KH in the mode for some self lovin'. I wish she had given me more details though! Its such a tease...
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Both me and my KH are feeling the strain of being apart. We had to have a bit of a mutual affirmation session via email that were apart for the right reasons. She has been swamped with work so hasn't had time or the inclination to play with me very much. I have received the odd comment though which is nice I'm still on her mind. She did say that she was proud of me in an email today, which was out of the blue. She has never said that before as long as I can remember. Not for a long time anyway.
I have been in transit once again to another remote job. Conditions suck and I would be embarrassed to describe how bad they are and what I have to put up with. I really hate long days and living out of a bag. I have had a bit of time to make some more caption photos for her which she has appreciated but I have to back off a bit because she has so much on her plate.
One thing that orgasm denial has helped with though it that it helps keep me in a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. I find it easier to deal with stressful situations because I'm always in a good mood. One of the many benefits of orgasm denial.
Its now 14 days since my last orgasm, I think one of the longer periods I have gone. I did ask my KY if she intends denying me until I get home but it fell on deaf ears...I should have know better!
I have started to re read 'The mistress Manual' by Mistress Lorelei. I think it was published back in the 80's but it is so well written and has stood the testament of time. If you haven't read it you should, the level of detail and explanation is outstanding. Its been well over a year since I last read it. Its the kind of book you can dip into without reading cover to cover. I maybe on rocky ground with my KH by reading this as some parts are arousing. Mmm better run it past her?
Some good news, I might be home for Christmas. Its about 50/50 right now. Fingers cross. I have traveled home on Christmas eve, arriving home on Christmas morning, before and it was one of the most magical Christmases ever. Fingers crossed...
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Wow I cant believe its been 5 days since I last logged on and update this post. Once again I have been on the move living out of a bag but have reach what should be my last work location. Things are pretty primative where I am. Interestingly, I now have to shower in a communal block and have to share my room also. Its been a bit nerve wracking making sure non of my work colleagues catch me wearing my cage. Its not sexy at all. Who said humiliation is sexy? Maybe if my KH deliberately put me in this predicament?
I'm now 19 days without orgasm and have been continuously locked up that time. This is by far the longest I have gone. With me being so busy it has definitely been easier and my libido has plateau for sure. Maybe in a few days when things get a bit quieter around here I will have more time to think about other things rather than just work.
Not getting any stimulus from video, pictures or literature due to my agreement with my KH as defiantly having an effect. When I watch TV and a titillating scene comes on I find it a lot more stimulating than it used to be.
My KH tells me my Jailbird has arrived. I have requested a photo so I know what I’m getting into (pun intended). It has taken around 9 weeks. I ordered it on 15th October. I haven’t had any problems with the cheap Chinese eBay cage I have now so hope my jailbird is as comfortable otherwise I will be a bit disappointed. I did all the measurements from the one I’m wearing so it should be. Not sure if I mentioned this before but I made the current device smaller in diameter by using polymorphic resin. It melts clear when submerged in hot water then solidifies at room temperature. You can make loads of things with it. (checkout you-tube)
My KH hasn’t given me any tasks for quite a while and I feel a bit neglected to be honest. She has been busy and so have ,I so that is partly to blame but I think she might be running out of ideas of ways to tease me and I’m not sure how to overcome that since it would be telling her what to do. I think part of the appeal, is not knowing what task or thing she will get me to do next. I know she has a hard time understanding exactly how I live while away as it is ever changing. There are a few items she asked me to bring I haven’t used yet so there is options for her. I think it’s more to do with how busy she is what with the bid C coming up. We don’t mention the C word as we won’t be together. I did enjoy her writing task but it’s very time consuming. I haven’t even had time to train for over a week now.
Looks like I will be heading home sometime between Christmas and New Year so a couple of weeks to go. I do think of home in all the little bits of down time I have between work stuff. Its nice to have that as it keeps me grounded and reminds me there is a beautiful woman who loves me waiting at home going, through exactly the same withdrawal as I have right now. I wish I could reach across the space that separates us but until someone invents teleportation, it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Mind you I’ve seen ‘The Fly’, so wouldn’t volunteer for that test…
All in all I remain remarkable positive, considering the circumstances, since I know she is there for me and just thinking about all the delicious things we got up to last time we were together really keeps me going.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Things have finally settled down at work to some kind of normal routine. Both me and my KH havn't felt the urge to do anything sexy in the last couple of weeks. She needs my stimulation as much as I need hers. I finally hinted that I could do with a good tease as I had been having very carnal thoughts about her last night.

I was woken up by my roommates alarm about 3:30am. I couldn't believe it when he put the TV on to watch the cricket! I had to tell him to turn it off, even though the sound was off, the light was flickering around the room and that his alarm wasn't a magic alarm that just woke him up! Anyway I got up and went to the bathroom. When I got back the TV was off and he was asleep. I was a bit annoyed as I couldn't get back to sleep myself! I then started thinking about my KH as I was lying on my left side with a pillow between my knees my right arm over the top of it and my left arm under the pillow my head was on, same way I sometimes snuggle up and spoon her with my arm under her pillow. That’s what started me off. It was such a simple fantasy but very strong. I imagined we were spooning, she was naked accept for those white satin knickers with the ruffle on the back... the ones I love to feel her through! I could feel them against my crotch as we snuggled under the duvet. I began to stroke her body with my right hand, feeling every pore of her skin. Going around her belly, arm, shoulder and legs. Up and down her body with light and delicate strokes just the way she likes it. My cock was growing hard in its cage at the thought of her warm nakedness so close to me. I could smell the scent of the shampoo in her hair, feel the rhythm of her breathing as I continued to enjoy the feeling of her skin against my finger tips. It was wonderful. Every now and again she would wriggle her bum a little in my crotch to feel how I was getting on and tease me a bit more. Knowing what her body was doing to mine. After a while she began to get turned on, I could tell by her breathing and body movements. I slipped my fingers under the satin fabric of her knickers and dipped my fingers into the warm wetness of her pussy. The silky warmth felt amazing. I worked my fingers softly around and round, inside her pussy, gently teasing and sliding, working gently. Her bum was pushed against my cock which was throbbing in sweat frustration against her, crying out for release.
Then she turned over and told me to get on my back, which I did, loving the feeling of her command and control over me. She then laid on top of me, we kissed deeply and passionately. I could feel her arousal in the strength of her kiss. I could feel the warmth of her skin against mine it felt like heaven. My hands roamed free down her back and onto the satin fabric covering her bum. I cupped both cheeks in my hands gently massaging her through the fabric. She then started to rub her pussy against my cage, grinding herself on me, getting the stimulation she needed. The frustration rising in my throat as her passion grew, was so powerful. I really wanted to be inside her. I wanted desperately to be free to feel the warm slick wetness of her pussy enveloping my cock.
Then she sat up on my chest ordering me to put my hands by my sides so that her legs and body pinned my arms to my sides. Sitting on my chest her pussy was right in front of my face. I could feel her warmth and smell her fragrance. I was desperate to taste her. To feel and taste her on my tongue, to feel the power of her orgasm flowing through me. Then with her right hand she slipped two fingers under the fabric of her knickers and began to bring herself to orgasm, right in front of me. The frustration of just lying there and watching her was so powerful it was taking over my entire being like an electric charge. The frustration was choking me.
Her left hand roamed around her body caressing her skin. Then she started to pinch and kneed her breasts as her orgasm rose from within. Her back was arched and I could tell her orgasm was taking over her whole body as it shook, trembled and bucked on me. She was totally oblivious to everything but the feelings her body was giving her. Living in that moment as her pussy gave and let go. All I could do was watch as wave after wave of pleasure tore through her body. Eventually her hands slowed and she came back to me resting her body on top of mine she whispered in my ear, 'Mmm, thank you for that, it was delicious. Sleep well thinking of me'. With that she rolled over and went to sleep, leaving me there thinking of her unable to do anything but enjoy the wonderful frustration and powerful feelings of being used by her. It felt so amazing to be left with those feelings for so long. An orgasm lasts seconds but arousal can last a life time.
I love the fact I only fantasize about my KH now.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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It’s been an erotically charged couple of days. I have been constantly thinking about my KH. Every spare second has been focused on her. The day before yesterday in the morning I received instructions. I was going to be allowed out of my cage and orgasm. Now after 23 days without so much as getting out of my cage I was very excited. She told me I had to get into bed and stroke myself all over with her knickers and fantasize about her before cuming. I then would have to write and tell her all about it and what I was thinking about as I came. I was worried she just felt guilty about not playing with me over the past week but she reasured me that she wasn't feeling any guilt as I understood her situation. It was her chioce not influanced by me. That did reasure me because i diont want to top from the bottom. Because of that I could relax and enjoy it.
As you can imagine all day I was as giddy as a school boy at the beginning of the summer holidays. How I got any work done is a miracle. Once my shift was over I went back to my room to take my cage off. I wanted to shower and have a proper shave as there was three weeks of growth in the hard to reach places, yuck. It felt really strange at first, I kept examining myself looking for something to be wrong with me but everything was fine! In the communal shower though just the feeling of the water on me was getting me aroused, I was super sensitive. I had to keep my mind off it so I didn't embarrass myself.
Back in my room I prepared everything and got into my bunk to read for a bit. I immediately got a raging hard on. It felt so good to have an unrestricted one. Even now I can remember how good it felt in minute detail...
Once the lights were out I followed my KH instructions stroking myself and thinking of her. I only lasted about 5-10 minutes before I couldn't take any more and had an extremely satisfying orgasm. My KH said I had to go back into my cage in the morning, which I dutifully did. She said make the most of the orgasm because I never know when the next one will be. Lovely.
The next day I wrote to her to tell her what I was thinking about but I will leave that between the two of us. She liked the story but said she has to read it again to absorb all the details before commenting fully.
She did say that on Christmas day she wants me to wear her knickers all day so I'm thinking of her and have a smile on my face. I don’t have any full details yet but I'm excited already. I'm not sure how I will work that. I just hope that she asks me to do something else before then. 25th seams a long way off to me…
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