[longing4it] A Good Beginning?

[longing4it]

My wife and I were chatting yesterday afternoon, and for some reason she spontaneously complained that I'd not yet taken her to Italy. She knows that I want to take her, but she teaches, and that leaves only the Summer. Have you been to Rome in August? After reminding her of this, she told me, "Get your cage!"

While I've been wanking away reading erotic stories about male chastity and female dominance for a while now, I was anxious about sharing this with my wife. In general, our sex life had been fairly dull, and much too infrequent. I have erectile dysfunction issues, and believe me, it took me a long time to get over that and learn to appreciate how many other ways there were for us to share intimacy besides slamming a piece of meat into her.

A month ago I told her I'd bought a cock cage. She giggled, and teased me a little, and then went about her business.

I was relieved that the "cat was out of the bag", as it were, but was very careful not to press. I hoped that she'd desensitize to the idea. I played down the BDSM aspects, emphasizing that this was just role playing. Since then, from time to time, she'd jokingly remark about my needing to be caged, and once had me put it on and show her.

On another occasion, I put the cage on, and secreted the key in her handbag. After she' left for work, I texted her what I'd done. When she came home she then teased me by leaving it on for a couple of hours. She'd ask if I wanted to be release from the cage, and I would tell her it was about what she wanted. Nevertheless, she hadn't taken the initiative to instigate a "session", until yesterday, that is.

I was stunned for a second, then almost leapt out of my chair in my haste to retrieve the cage. She asked me where I'd put it, saying that she hadn't seen it in the pouch I keep my toys. Had she actually been looking for it earlier? Did she instigate the Italy talk to set me up?

I eagerly retrieved the cage. I'd bought an inexpensive bird cage design to see how it would feel (I have a Mature Metal JailBird on order.) She told me to strip, and started to put the base ring on. While she had only a vague idea how to put it on, I was enjoying the experience, and she commented on how trusting I was with her handling my family jewels. Eventually I suggested that I take over, and she watched intently as I started pulling scrotal skin and tissue through the rather small ring, and stepped back as first one, and then the other testicle, mushroomed through the ring. I jumped a little with my second ball, but this only added to her interest. In short order I'd pushed and pulled my penis through, leaving her the cage to fit on me. It took her some time to get the holding pins in place, but her perseverance paid off.

After securing the lock, She mused upon what would happen if the keys were lost. I told her she might want to hide one in a safe place. I'll be damned if She then didn't promptly do so. Then She told me to get dressed, and left the room. A few minutes later She returned and had me look at her. She wanted to know why I had given her a vibrator on Valentines Day, when I should have given her the keys to the cage.

Then She told me that I'd be locked up again on Thursday of this week before She left for a conference in San Diego. She'll be home on Sunday.

[locked4her55]

Looks like you both are off to a good start.

Lucky that your KH is vested in the process right from the start. Not all of us were so fortunate. For my wife it has become an acquired taste.

Enjoy your confinement.

[longing4it]

I hope your right about the good start, although it's premature to say that she's accepted her role as KH. I think she's toying with the idea.

She has said she wants me locked when she leaves on her trip. I'll find a way to remind her. After all, when a KH says something, especially at the beginning, she needs to be consistent.

[chastehub]

Sounds like she's into it...congrats and many happy frustrations!

[longing4it]

A word about She. I met Her on my first day of work at the hospital. I was 28 and She was 2 years older (still is actually). Though not on my team initially, she was soon assigned. I was impressed by her focus and dedication to the patients. She would not back down from, or be intimidated by the nursing staff who had circled their wagons around a "Nurse Ratchet" like head nurse. And, She had a great ass (still has, actually). We had became a real team then. ("Nurse Ratchet" gave up and quit after I'd documented her abusiveness, and She and my reputation had been set. Don't fuck with us!)

I was married with two kids. My first wife was a knock out, but kind of ditsy (Sorry ladies. I say this because that was the way it was. I've come to appreciate that she has a lot of great qualities that I lack but would aspire towards.) I mention this because, while my first wife was superficially more attractive than She, Her intellect and discipline were very alluring to me by comparison.

So why "She" and "Her"? "She" is short for "She Who Must Be Obeyed", a moniker that I'd picked up from the Masterpiece series ¬Rumpole at the Bailey. (I believe that this was a phrase also referencing the character played by Ursula Andress in the movie "She".) Needless to say, her moniker stuck.

I've never committed adultery, and while my first wife was aware of my fondness for She, I never gave her cause to worry about my fidelity. When I left her and filed for divorce, it had nothing to do with Her. Indeed, I did not Immediately become involved with Her or any other woman. I was totally focused on my kids and my work (I was given custody and became a single dad). She and I did eventually become close friends. We carried on a platonic relationship for the next 7 years.

So neither of us are exactly pushovers. The fact that we both had dominant personalities became a major source of conflict and distance between us when we married and started living together. It's been a long road since. It's, perhaps, the major reason why I became interested in chastity, and the deeply symbolic nature of having my cock locked up in a metal sleeve, and my nuts trapped between two steal rings.

I don't have any illusions. At this stage, our chastity/KH relationship is a role playing game. Maybe it's a transient fetish. Maybe it will deepen. I do know that there is a dynamic equilibrium between us. I don't mean a state of temporary homeostasis. I mean that we're bound together, and any action of submission on my part enhances Her dominance.

She still needs to embrace the role to take ownership.

What if She doesn't?

[longing4it]

I've been unlocked for a little more than 24 hours. The inexpensive jail bird CD, is not terribly uncomfortable, but I did develop a small abrasion on my scrotum (the result of a vigorous tease and denial session at She's hands, with the cage on). Tomorrow is Thursday, and we wanted to give the abrasion time to heal before She leaves for San Diego until Sunday.

While I'm anxious to receive the MM JB I ordered 5 weeks ago, this current CD makes for a great T&D apparatus though. (abbreviations anyone?)

On my first day locked by Her, She periodically verbally teased me about how it felt, was it getting a little tight, was I jerking my "little Dick" while reading porn; etc. Come bedtime, she said she wanted to watch the last episode of the season of Downton Abbey. ("You can wait that long, can't you?" Damn right I could).

She has learned how to give a great hand job. She knows that I like to delay my orgasm as long as possible, so she is very slow and gentle, lightly stroking the underside of my with her finger, and smiling as my cock twitches and I try thrust up at her.

She had to adapt to the cage being on, but she managed to get my cock growing inside the cage. It wasn't long before my shaft and glans were pushing up between the thin bars of the cage. Then She got the idea of getting a terry cloth face towel , wrapping it about my caged cock, and rubbing it vigorously. It was very intense, but pleasurable; at least until she began rubbing it horizontally. I jumped. She had caught some of the tissue of the head of my penis pinned across one of the bars.

She said sorry, but then began spanking my balls.

It's not that she hit hard, but she slapped frequently, and the effect seemed to accumulate. Then she starting to time some harder slaps more carefully, waiting until my groin was moving up again after I'd involuntarily tried to pull away.

Spanking my balls is something I began asking her to do a few months ago. With the cage on, however, my scrotum and balls are flayed out, "sitting ducks", as it were. It was delicious.

She'd had me take Viagra earlier in the evening, and now my cock was really straining. I was getting really close, and She kept stroking. I thought I was about to ejaculate, but I couldn't. It was a first for me. I was experiencing intense pleasure. Really intense, and it went on and on. I was coming, semen was seeping, and I pleaded with her to stop. She would briefly stop, but the orgasm would continue for what seemed like an eternity. Then she would start stimulating my cock again by pressing the cage into my groin and jerking it. Within seconds I was coming again. She repeated this process for maybe ten minutes. before pausing and unlocking the cage. Then she resumed, but I could not ejaculate. Go figure. She finally smeared one her fingers in the accumulating fluid that had seeped out of my cock, lubricating it before pushing it into my ass, and vigorously thrusting it in and out. My cock had deflated. Only then did I ejaculate.

I was disappointed. I was not supposed to cum, or so I thought. She was supposed to cum, and I felt like I'd failed her. (An emotional letdown after ejaculating. I verbalized this, and She assured me that She'd no intention of having an orgasm. Nevertheless, the fact that I'd ejaculated allowed he to put the cage back on after washing up a bit. I can only imagine what I'd have experienced if She had stopped edging me before I came and just leaving me to cool down on my own. Any pressure on the cage would have had me grinding myself against her or the mattress ad nauseum.

The next morning we discovered the abrasion. Rather than remove the cage then, She put a band aid on my balls.

She decided to remove the cage early the next morning. She confessed to me that she was becoming ambivalent about caging me on Thursday. She said that I'd enjoyed being caged too much.

Frankly, I think she was taken aback by how much she enjoyed it. My Lady dust project too much.

[longing4it]

It's Thursday, and, true to her word, She locked me up before leaving for the airport. She sternly admonished me not to play with it!

So this is the second time I've been locked by her. The first lasted a little more than a day. She returns Sunday.

I've got to distract myself. I think I'll go work in the garden.

[longing4it]

Thank the Gods for frozen baby peas.

I had mentioned in an earlier post that the birdcage devise makes for great T&D. For sleeping, well not so much. Perhaps it's a little too long, as it gives my cock a lot of space to swell into, and it's very frustrating.

She had finished her packing, and was ready to be picked up for the airport. She'd not said anything about her announcement a few days ago that I'd be locked when she goes to San Diego. She waited until ten minutes before her ride, and then announced, "It's time to lock you up."

This is only the second time I've been locked up by Her, and the first time when she was away. It's very hard to ignore the cage at first. In no way have I accommodated to it yet. BTW: writing about it doesn't help much either.

During the night, my cock swelled up until it was pressing hard against the cage. Not just the head of my penis, but the entire shaft, as well. It felt like the whole thing was being squeezed. I tried to will it to shrink down a little, but base ring is fairly small in diameter (significantly smaller than my 45mm cock ring), and despite my ED, it kept facilitating my erection.

She'd told me not to play with it. I tried emptying my bladder, but apparently that was not the problem. That's where the frozen peas became my temporary best friend.

So I'm now looking at 3 more days. My plan was to keep busy, and distract myself from the cock cage. That's easier said than done.

[longing4it]

I have a great life!

It's a beautiful day. It's a little breezy, but, in my yard, it's perfect. The garden is beginning to really take off.

I started working there early this morning, and, by 11:00, I'd planted three rose bushes, and repotted and relocated a Wisteria tree. She had been concerned that the bushes be planted before it gets too warm, so I texted her at work (poor thing has to work) what I'd done. She replied, "Wowsey!! Very nice Dear. You must get off more often!! ...But breaks in between seem to be the key to the intensity of the orgasm."

So about those orgasms. After locking me up, She left for San Diego Thursday morning. I'd written previously about the first night, and my new friends, The Peas. But, I must comment on the psychological experience of knowing that, if things go as planned, my second best friend would be unlocked for four days, and feeling the weight of the cage, and my penis flopping around in the roomy birdcage. Well, not exactly "flopping", but the point is, it takes awhile to accommodate to it the situation. Distracting myself was impossible, at least for me. Playing with my dick became an obsession, and I have to confess to giggling my caged cock energetically for a bit, enjoying the stimulation that the cage provides.

I'd previously experienced a prolonged and intense series of orgasms, unaccompanied by ejaculating, wearing this birdcage. I was well on the way, but managed to stop. She was a little pissed when I told her. Fortunately, I hadn't cum.

I won't repeat the events of the first night. The next day, however, things were generally easier. First of all, I was tired from struggling during the night with a swollen dick bulging through the narrow gage bars that spanned the length of my entrapped cock. I was able to keep occupied doing post work on photos I'd taken of the San Francisco Bay Headlands. I also got into my garden. (Did I tell you I love my garden? Maybe I'll describe it in the Members Lounge. Fair warning.) And then there was T.V. and, of course, partaking of some medicinal marijuana I'd grown last Summer and harvested in October. (Did I tell you that I love my garden?)

I was certainly aware of the cage. Working in a garden provides cause to take care how one squats and moves around, in general. Daily maintenance did offer a brief interlude with a soapy trapped joint. She was really annoyed at this because she'd specifically told me not to play with myself.

I managed to get to bed, without blowing; only to have my penis start to swell and usher in another, thankfully less frustrating night than the previous on. The Peas were engaged again, but more quickly, to calm things down. I noticed small bruising on the forward shaft of my penis. (I had been using some cream to lubricate the cage, oh well.)

I did manage to sleep better. I got up Saturday morning. After a shower and some coffee, I was off to pick up my mother-in-laws dry cleaning, followed by the Home Depot to pick up some redwood lumber with which to build strawberry planting towers to stand between the potted rose bushes on our deck near the hot tub (the towers are beautiful, and each one holds 36 plants).

I'm not a carpenter. I'm not a gardener. I'm not a photographer. But I do like to express myself through my work, which makes me an artist, of sorts.

Retirement, after so many intense years at the hospital, demanded coming to a new understanding of who I was, who I'm becoming, and who I want to be. What I want to be is a man who loves his wife, and the gift of her companionship. I want to experience as much joy as I can, while I can. And, I want to be able to proclaim my joy at what I make and share, much like that Mocking Bird who is currently chirping away in the back yard.

Forgive me if I digress, however, being locked in a cock cage, and having She tell me when I can cum or not, is not who I am, really. It's just an experience, after all. But it does allow me to express myself, particularly in enhancing my relationship with my wife. If that makes any sense.

My cock took a pounding in the process of hauling, measuring, and cutting the lumber. Then squatting on the ground, hammering in finish nails to connect the sides and bottom of each tower. The hematoma on my penis had gotten larger and darkened. I decided to text Her, to get permission to take the cage off. She agreed and told me where the hidden key was. So I was loose. Still, my ridge of my glans and urethral meatus were very sensitive from having been squeezed through the rungs of the cage. Combined with the absence of the base ring, and the confining cage itself, allowed things to settle down. I was able to plant one of the towers. I was tired, and cleaned up. I spent the rest of the evening just watching TV. She returns the next day.

The night was spent without incident. I was really glad to see her when she got home, as you might imagine. Her friend who'd driven them both to and from the airport, got a brief tour of the garden and then the house. I became concerned that I'd left the birdcage on my dresser. Sure enough, she was shown the bedroom for some reason. (We don't know if she spotted it, as my wife hadn't. At least it gave me an idea for a series of photographs.)

When we were alone, we just visited. We talked about the caged experience. She reiterated her displeasure of my fooling around. That stung a bit, since the whole idea for experimenting with chastity was mine, I was being hoisted on my own petard. I fixed dinner, while she unwound in the hot tub. I'd bought a dry aged Rib Eye from Whole Paycheck, and some grilled French bread with olive oil and a garlic rub. She did the salad. We watched T.V. for a while, and then went to bed. She had work in the morning, and had to get up at 3:30 am real time (thank you Benjamin Franklin) So we just spooned for a while, drifting off to sleep. A little disappointing, but, really, 3:30 in the morning?

When her alarm went off, I stumbled into my study to go back to sleep, allowing her the freedom to move around the rest of the house to prepare for work. I woke a couple of hours later. Off to the casual stroll of retirement. I had to fix a couple of kitchen drawers, and started putting together a trellis I'm making of half inch copper pipes for the garden.

I paid almost no attention to the free state of my genitalia. I was pooped, and decided we would go out for dinner. Nice evening. It was rather balmy outside, so we went to a restaurant with a patio. Not only was my cock free, but I was able to wear shorts to dinner and feast.

I went to bed about 15 minutes before She joined me. I just lay there drifting off, but clutching my penis, which started to swell, despite my E.D. When She came to bed I was half asleep. She moved close, and started rubbing my chest. Her hand drifted down my torso. When she reached my groin, she found my hand squeezing a hard cock. Without a word, she took over, squeezing it first, and then lightly touching and stroking it, just the way I crave it.

I tried to fondle her breasts, but she said she was tired. Who wouldn't be? Despite her fatigue she seemed pretty enthusiastic to pleasure me. I figured she was rewarding me despite having fiddled around. It occurred to me that she might abruptly stop. That would be something.

I was into my 5th night without a climax. I haven't not come at least once a day for a long time, unless I was really sick and depressed. I was neither sick nor depressed last night. My cock stayed very hard. I was grunting, squirming, thrusting, and humping for all I was worth.

I didn't even ask if I could cum. Neither did she say anything in warning about my not coming. She began fisting my cock with determination, saying that I must be enjoying myself. Even when I got real loud. she determinitely kept squeezing my organ tightly while pumping.

I could feel my orgasm approaching. I made no effort to stop her, but, harkening back to my memorable multi-orgasmic experience of a short time ago, instead of clinching up, I actively pressed down as if relaxing my sphincter to initiate peeing, and which seems to be incompatible with the spasms of the old bulbospongiosus muscle, to which we all have become to fond. I'll be damned if it didn't postpone the ejaculatory response until I just had to, also intensifies the orgasmic experience. WOW! I think She thought she'd have to peel me off the ceiling. A breath of hot air on my penis, and I start coming again.

So that's what she meant when I texted her about the rose bushes this. Now she's made the connection between prolonged (for me, at least) periods with an orgasm and the intensity. Arguably more importantly, I made the connection between denial and one quality of heightened arousal. Now to sublimate that energy into expressions more durable and rewarding than cumming.

Did I tell you how much I love my garden?

[longing4it]

I love the feeling of the cold steel as I pull my cock deeper into the cage. If only there were a way to just chill the cage when it's on. Oh well...

As instructed, I put the keys to my new MM JB on her desk, after locking it shut on my manhood, this morning.

My wife is a constant surprise to me these days. It's a shame that I'm only coming to appreciate this. She's been remarkably nonplussed about my kinky sex preferences. She smiled as I pressed my cage against her ass this morning as she was drying her hair. Then she ordered me to stop. We were both still feeling playful from last night, but she was meeting someone in 10 minutes.

Since Her return from San Diego, she's been busy with her ailing mother and her work, and things quieted down with chastity play. At least, they had until the JB arrived. We had to take it for a test drive beginning after she had stroked my cock and myself awake at 3:00 am yesterday morning.

I have to say, that my first thought when she said, "That's enough" was, "You bitch". I was like a small kid whose hand was slapped away when reaching for a candy bar at the store. I felt angry and defiant. It took a couple of minutes before I was able to channel it into desire.

Anyway, when my penis started to soften, I was able to get the 45mm base ring on, and, with some lube, fit my shaft into the cage. It was very snug, and the feel of the cold steel started me dripping. The cage locked on with a minimal of pinching, and I got up to "enjoy the ride", as it were, of being on the edge, still dripping, only half wanting the torturous pleasure to subside. (Why is it so arousing to think about now, but soooo frustrating to experience?)

Later that morning we were discussing our plans for the day, when She suggested that we might make love in the afternoon. She had a lot of other things to do for her mother, so we just kept that option open for the time being. The exigencies of life unfolded, as they will, and soon it became apparent that any intimate contact would have to wait till evening.

The cage felt pretty comfortable, most of the time, as I went about my activities. I went to Home Depot to pick up some track lighting for my studio/study. Then there was planting my vertical garden panels, and running a new PVC line in the back to help the drip system. This is only relevant because there was a lot of crouching and straining occurring to test the wearability of the device. Let's say that crouching becomes a "deliberate" and "mindful" action when it is necessary. Fortunately, no serious encounters of the pinching kind.

However, the cage felt snug, even when in it's "resting" state. God it felt good, and a little worrisome at the same time.

--- It's funny. When we are together these days, and by "we" I mean when she is not playing "She", I feel more in the moment, and I've been experiencing a heightened sense of "Being" (in the Teilhard de Chardin sense) with a capital "B". For a man my age, when life stops giving so much, and starts taking more and more away, it's very comforting to feel content, as my existential dread is set aside, at least for the time being.---

But I digress.

I couldn't wait to be able to take a shower last evening, then to slide my naked skin between the cool sheets of our bed that evening. She went into the hot tub, then dried off and tucked me in. No pat on the cage. No nothing. She left to watch more TV. So, I went with it, and rolled over to begin drifting off.

She nudged me awake, some time later, when she came to bed. She was wearing panties, and I pressed my cock against her ass, or, at least, that part of my cock that was pressing through the bars of the cage. She pushed back more firmly. I began to nuzzle her neck, and, after a moment, reached for the back of her panties and pulled them down over the hump of her ass. She warned me about the sharp lock of the, but began to help me slide them down her legs and off.

Now the critical phase. I reached my left hand to begin to gently caress her breasts. I first pressed against her nipple with some firmness to being her attention there so that when I lightly touched her it, she wouldn't jump. If she started to shush me, I'd be sorely disappointed. And, I do mean sorely, given the state of my cock. She was quiet, but reached her hand between her legs.

When my wife touches her clit it's like pushing the Mute button. Other than her eyes glazing over, she doesn't "say" anything. For me it's time try to interpret her movements as indicators to "stop", "go", or "go faster", as it were. I was able to get in sink, and I began to feel Her beginning to surrender. Oh the irony. I began to tease and then slow things down a bit. I stayed in contact with at least one of her nipples with my hand or mouth as I brushed her inner thigh, and then moved to insert a finger in between the folds of her pussy. She was really wet, and so so warm.

I was surprised at how patient she was. I think I've written before that she was "all destination, and no journey". I'm going to have to revise that. With my big finger in her pussy making gentle come hither motions, I began to play with her anus with my index finger. Not one who has said she enjoys anal play, She surprised me again, as she pressed down against it. Funny how we learn new things about one another.

So we're about 10 minutes into this finger fucking, and I began to pay serious attention to her nipples. It didn't take long before she began to rise for her climax, and she shortly began to release, if that's the right word, and release, and.... I think she came more than once. I know she enjoyed it.

It was my turn next. She asked if I wanted to remove the cage. I really didn't, but I told her she should decide. She left it on, and teased my cock, and squeezed my balls. and...when she took her index finger to wet it with precum by pressing it through the cage, I smiled, knowing what was coming.

She pushed it into my ass, and worked it around. She wasn't satisfied, and withdrew her finger to apply more lubricant. Reloaded, she wasn't gentle about thrusting it back in. Once she was past my sphincter, and released to the softer interior of my rectum, she started a firm and steady reaming of my ass, while I took over stroking my caged cock.

At last, or still too soon, she had me retrieve the key. She removed the lock, and had to tug to get the cage of my swollen shaft. Now, my cock was not hard enough for penetrative sex, but engorged plenty enough for her to grasp hard while she stroked it. She told me to turn on the light so we could both watch. The head of my cock was slick with precum, and it was turning a deep purple. I've never told her of my fantasy to suck my own cock.

"Please take me in your mouth and suck!!". "Oh!" She did.

So wet. So warm. "Just suck. Please!" "Oh!" ..... Cum in her mouth?

It was not to be.

She told me to rub my cock along the crack of her ass. That eased my frustration at not being able to feed her my seed. Soon my semi-rigid member was gliding between her ass cheeks, now slick with pre cum. Damned if my right thigh started to cramp! Damn! and Damn again!

She raised her ass in the air to trap the head of my penis against her puckered cherry, and then squeezed it pulling it down, trying to jerk me off. I swear, some day, I'm going to fuck that ass. (I'm starting an ass fucking saving's account right now! I'm going to save up enough spunk to float my boat enough to do it. I'm also going to start stretching my hamstrings before bed, as well ) Between her juices and mine, it was purgatory. So close, but I had to give up before making a fool of myself. Damn!

I rolled on to my back, and she snuggled up against me. Then, She pulled my hand to my cock, and she reapplied lubricant to her index finger. She smiled at she started stroking it in my ass, again. Then her middle finger followed. Her thrusting and my stroking became more urgent. Finally, she started working on my prostate with some serious intent. It was fun watching my ejaculate squirting on my chest. I scooped some up with my finger and sucked it into my mouth. I enjoy the taste of my semen, but I stll have to overcome that psychological inhibition that arises after a climax to eat it.

Jerking off while She is reaming my ass displays a lot of trust. Licking my cum off my finger while she was watching took a lot more.

She left to get me a clean warm face cloth, I thought to clean myself up with. When she returned, I just lay there, my cock twitching and oozing. She laid that warm cloth over my cock and balls, and then she gently started to clean me. She had me lift my legs spread wide so she could wipe off my asshole. I regressed about 62 years. (Damn, no baby powder.)

I drifted off to sleep. About and hour later she nudged me awake again. "Just teasing, Sweetie."