[longing4it] A Good Beginning?

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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

I can imagine that this will sound familiar to many, and reading this may well be accompanied with a smirk or smile.

I've been attempting self imposed chastity for the past two days. The evening before last, my wife had had me take a Viagra, and I spent the rest of the night trying to sleep. My penis was constantly stimulated by the bars of the JB while she slept. I had to ice it several times. When Her alarm finally went off, she was surprised at the amount of bulging that was happening. She said I should remove the cage. When it was removed, my cock shot up. We were both surprised how hard it was.

I had told her I wanted to abstain from ejaculating so that I might be able to experience an erection sufficient to have penetrative sex with her. Well, I'm weak. I couldn't get my erection of the morning off my mind. Would my cock get so hard again? I can imagine that this will sound familiar to many, and reading this may well be accompanied with a smirk or smile.

On my behalf, the chastity was "self-imposed".

Wrong! I had told her that I wanted to be able to fuck her, and, when I masturbated, I was breaking a commitment to her. She was not just pissed at me, she was disappointed in me.

As other's have reported, I was both ashamed and excited. She had always been playful about my wearing the cage, and ambivalent about taking charge. Seeing her so disappointed, stung. certainly, but was also exciting.

In no uncertain terms, She reminded me that chastity was my idea, and if I was not going to discipline myself to abstain from jerking off, she would no longer play (insert smirk or smile here).

I'm not smiling. This is more than a game. It's not trivial when I can't be trusted to control myself. She neither can, or wants, to control me. She wants to trust me. I don't feel excited that she was taking the game seriously now. It doesn't feel like a game anymore.

It's time to talk.
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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

Just a brief note of apology for failing to adequately proof read my last post. I compose in Word and then copy to the cite. I try to proof read and make my revisions. I just screwed up. My day for fuck ups apparently.

BTW: It's 48 hours since my ejaculating transgressions. I endured another Viagra night of unsettling sleep interrupted by having to ice down. It's an exquisitely frustrating experience. Makes me appreciate what long term wearers have gone through.

Tomorrow we are off to Hawaii for a week.
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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

Six days and counting. CD is optional on this trip.

Tomorrow morning we take a helicopter trip around Maui. Can't wait to shoot the island from the air!

I wore the JB to bed last night, She Who Must Be Obeyed had been ignoring my cock until the wee hours this morning when she began tickling it lightly through the bars until I'd filled out the cage. She then started rubbing the tip relentlessly. Felt good for a while, then it began to get painfully sensitive. Sure enough, it had been rubbed raw. Cage is off for the remainder of the trip. I've not the slightest idea if this is all the "fun" we'll have for the remainder of the trip.

Disappointing, but hope some of the pictures will print up nicely, at least.

A number of photographers here are printing on metal, and the images are extraordinary! Sublimate! Sublimate,

I have come to realize that I'll probably never view myself as truly submissive in our relationship. My wife loves to be in control. But...she can be so full of shit sometimes! I don't think I could trust that she would be able to temper her anxiety and consequent abusiveness if I couldn't be able to be a "stand up guy" when she goes nuts and confront her.

From a clinical point of view, she has a obsessive compulsive personality that doesn't quite reach the level of "Sleeping With the Enemy". She's not physically abusive. She is, however, very anxious in unfamiliar surroundings. Travel seems to bring out the worst in her. I've had to confront her several times about being such a Bitch.

She loves me. I'm certain of that. But, the woman would eat her young if she felt threatened.

Chastity and orgasm denial will never become a way of life for us. Hopefully, it may still become a way for us to play from time to time.

Still hoping that by "saving up" will enable me to have penetrative sex with her. It's just not going to happen soon.

Oh well. I've had plenty of orgasms in my day, but shooting pictures from a helicopter will be a first.
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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

Home at last!

Things are settling down. My wife and her sister have had to have their mother moved to another residence. It's been very stressful for all. Her mother's dementia is progressing. Her finances are dwindling. A less expensive care provider was necessary, but the guilt of feeling they are not doing their best for her, and the fear that moving her would exacerbate her declining mental health, has drained them both.

Needless to say, the Maui trip has strained our relationship. I understand that she's on overload, but her behavior towards me has shaken me up. Her abusive tone strains my trust. Her state of denial has strained my respect. I lost five pounds in six days! (I know, "wah, wah, wah!) Our shields are dropping, though.

In any event, this forum is about chastity and loving someone at a very deep level. Life throws us curves, I guess, and that does impact The Lifestyle..

The abrasion to the head of my penis became inflamed, and that has prolonged my period out of the cage. I'm treating it aggressively, and it's healing. Still . . .

Yesterday was my ninth day without "release". The chastity has been self imposed. I've been sorely tempted, literally, the pleasure myself and cum. My anger toward her adding to the feeling of entitlement.

I went to bed early last night. I read some porn to help me get more aroused, while lightly teasing my cock. I quickly started leaking, and kept leaking. I wanted to come so badly. When She came to bed, I was still at it, and told her so. She began touching me, and then took over. I reminded her that I'd not cum in nine days, and, because of my lesion, was unlikely be able to fuck her, or wear my cage for several more days. She said that I'd better cum, but I asked her just to edge me. God! It felt goog. I had to stop her several times.

What an exquisite torture. Much more intense with a load built up. As the Bard would say, "There's the Rub!" If I came I'd have to start all over. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. The sheer pleasure of being "locked and loaded" found me not wanting release.

I miss being able to wear my cage.
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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

I haven't updated this journal for a while, as She and I have been working through our feelings about each other after our "Vacation From Hell". Chastity and cock cages have taken a back seat. Indeed, I'm thinking I should suspend this journal until such time as She decides she wants to take charge of my cock again.

In the mean time, however, I've some flaccid limbs to tie up.

Prior to our trip, I was determined not to ejaculate for a sustained period, in the hope that celibacy could facilitate my being able to get my penis hard enough to, you'll pardon me for being crude, to fuck. I'm not talking just PIV, but to really give Her "the high hard one". (I seem to recall that when became so determined the object of my lust was her ass.) So I began a period of self imposed chastity with no cage necessarily involved.

I'm afraid that you'll be disappointed to know that abstaining from ejaculating was not all that difficult. Admittedly, the tension surrounding our vacation helped with this. In any event, I past the two week period a few days after we got home. Not that She was interested. Indeed, she marked the occasion by saying that I might just as well cum, the implication being that, for all she cared, I could stick my cock up my . . . Well, you get the picture.

I did jerk off. It was very disappointing. Kind of like flat Champaign. I had to ask myself, "Two weeks going without for what?"

The good news is that we were finally able to talk through our anger. We learned that we both feared that we'd lost our best friend. This realization, and our real caring for each other, broke down the barriers. That night, after I'd gone to bed, I dreamily felt her press her bare ass against my dick. I reached around to caress her pussy, and we fell asleep, together again.

We still weren't playing the game, so I kept playing with myself, mostly edging, as I enjoy the frustration. During one such self adventure, I'd put a fairly rigid penis ring on my shaft to help get it engorged. Since I've grown to really enjoy the feeling of a cold metal cage pressing onto my cock, I got out my five ring Gates of Hell.

That's when I took note that the smallest metal penis ring was the same size of the rubber ring I was using. A cold steel ring feels so much better sliding on than does rubber, in my way of thinking, so I cut the leather on the GoH, removing the smallest ring. It felt really good!

My penis started to swell, and it kept swelling. I got a "hard on" like I hadn't experienced in years. This was without Viagra, mind you!

I stopped touching myself, and waited for my boner to subside, but it didn't. The chrome plated ring held fast around my straining rod. "If only She were here", I thought.

I managed to slide the ring off with the help of some lubricant. My cock softened but remained partially engorged. I wondered if I could replicate my experiment. I stretched out my dick, and slid the ring down my shaft again. My shaft immediately started to swell again. In a couple of minutes it was so hard it was firmly curving upwards, giving my cock a straining bow. I could hang a towel on it.

I repeated this procedure twice more. An idea literally took root. Could I surprise my wife? I put it to the test that night.

I showered before bed. I'd epilated, and shaved my shaft and scrotum, earlier. I'd also taken a Vitamin V. My wife followed me to bed. After slipping between the sheets, She reached for my penis, and found it becoming engorged. She felt the ring at the bottom of my shaft, which she then began to stroke. She remarked on how hard I was getting, and asked if I wanted to try to insert it into her. Hell Yes!

I lubed up my cock, and she her labia. No foreplay, sadly. I needed to strike while the iron was still iron, as it were. In it went. I had to go slowly, so she could accommodate to something she'd not had inside her in living memory.

I began stroking in and out. It was "hard" to believe, but She began to become aroused. She screwed up her face in concentration, and reached for her clit. I played with her nipples one handed as I needed the other to brace myself while I thrust into her.

I've always sought to pleasure her first, before letting myself come. This meant that I will stop stroking so I could use both hands on her breasts, as well as my tongue and lips. She doesn't just like to have her nipples teased, she needs to have her nipples pinched and pulled, which I endeavored to do as I reached my free hand underneath and started to lightly tease her anus. That was it for her.

I love to feel her anus quiver when she's cumming.

Unfortunately, my cock had softened when I'd stopped thrusting to use my hands and mouth. (I'd love to say I could do it all at the same time, but I am 63, and some concessions are inevitable.) Nevertheless, I was content to see Her eyes role back as she came.

The next night was even better...
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

A funny thing happened on my way to the forum...

It's been a while since I've posted, largely because I've had little to post, and She and I have been struggling to reinvigorate our friendship. Chastity and cock cages became, somehow, unimportant.

Let's face it, this "journey" has been very vanilla to begin with, and She has always been ambivalent about this life style. And considering that she is also very worried about her mother, whom she had to move to a new nursing facility, there've been other priorities.

So, the funny thing that happened on my way to the forum is the fact that I've discovered a very effective way to reliably achieve impressive erections. I described it in the previous post.

Like a good scientist, I've successfully replicated the experiment on a number of occasions. What's "funny" about it is that this development has had an effect on my desire to be "caged". Not that I don't want to, but I don't feel as much pressure. I guess I feel more self assured. After all, I'm 63 with a 10 year hx of erectile dysfunction, who can not only get hard enough to penetrate my wife (a goal that was the subject of earlier posts), but I'm talking like "impaled" stand up sex hard. Again, I'm 63, so forgive me if I boast.

At the end of my previous post I alluded to "the next night". I'll spare you all of the gratuitous lurid details, but let me say that it was a Sunday evening, and we had to re-watch the Game of Thrones the next evening. It was, to say the least, a memorable event. (The next day she reported, "My cunt hurts." I actually drug her to the edge of the bed and proceeded to fuck her standing up. I'm pretty tall, and to bury my cock into her deeply, I had to spread my legs far apart. Imagine a giraffe getting a drink from a watering hole.

As I've explained previously, my wife is into the destination. In order for her to cum, I have to play pretty roughly with her nipples. As I'm not as athletic and flexible as I used to be, I found myself in a situation where I couldn't attend to her nipples and keep thrusting. I don't mean to be repetitive, but I'm a 63 year old who found himself pounding into his wife harder than he'd done in two decades, and I was not about to give that up by stopping to bring my wife off. Shocking, I know. But a little T&D is good for goose, as well as the gander, I thought.

Her eyes were glazed over, and she was furiously fingering her clit. Finally, I slumped down, with my cock deep inside, and took her right nipple in my mouth, sucking and biting gently. Her left nipple was being stretched taught by my left thumb and index finger. She came almost immediately, her ass hole quivering, and her torso shuddering. My cock, as predicted, started getting soft, so we just rested. Eventually we got up to wash off, and when we got back to bed, she took my tool in her mouth.

I never did cum that night.

Several nights later we made love again. However, this time, I didn't make her wait long at all. After all, I'm a journey guy.

That's most of what I wanted to say. It's not strictly chastity, but learning to take satisfaction in seeing Her cum, and not me is an integral part, I think, and being denied now knowing what I'm missing is titillating.

As far as chastity now stands, the other night she mentioned that I'd not had the cage on for a while. I replied that she didn't seem to be very interested in the game with her mother and all. She said that she still was, but said nothing else.

This evening, after arriving home and finding me in my jogging shorts, sans underwear, I explained that it was so hot, I'd been going in and out of the shower, and drying off on our deck to cool off, and that, until 10 minutes ago, I'd been butt naked. She wanted to know it I'd been masturbating all day. I truthfully said I'd hadn't, but asked if she was wanting me to save up.

As she was leaving the house she asked if I thought I could do 30 days.

Fingers crossed.
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longing4it
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Re: [longing4it] A Good Beginning?

Post by longing4it »

Time for closure.

I'm afraid that this particular chastity journey has reached it's destination.

She and I are gradually rebuilding our friendship. Ironically, this has meant that I've had to assume a much more dominant a role in defining our relationship. How do you tell your spouse that your not taking their "shit" anymore? I do it by simply asking her if "this" is how she wants our relationship to be like when she's being a bitch. She can do the same with me when I'm being an asshole.

The good news is that it seems to be working.

The other good news is that she (small "s") has come to appreciate that my cock (not her's) get's hard on cue, and that she likes being impaled on it.

I had originally hoped that chastity play would improve our sex life, and get her to pay attention to my dick. So, when she mentioned that it seemed to her that it would be "important for our relationship" if we had sex 2 or 3 times a week, I guess it worked; just in the opposite way. I, the "journey guy', get to tease and deny her, the 'destination gal'. Only difference is . . .

she always gets to cum.

So, to all you fellas out there, be good. To all you keyholders, be better!

P.S. Did I ever tell you how much I love my garden?
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