Re: [Eddie] A Touch Here and a Touch There
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2022 9:00 pm
Well, been locked for a full week now (I know, does not seem like much to some of you), and its not really a record for me, it just “is”.
I was re-reading my posts here and noted that I tend to go back and forth a bit with what she wants and what she does. 2 posts ago I said that “She is now demanding that I remain caged”, and while that is truthful it didn’t go as far as it could have. She has asked that I cage, but there is no follow-up, no verification, just a small guilt trip (honestly, small) if she notes that I am not wearing it. That’s all. When I had the time a couple of weeks ago I explained that verification and her insisting on keeping the keys (there are 2 of them for this lock) was a part of the game. I put them both on the bathroom counter a week ago, and they have not moved unless I move them. I asked her to keep one in the bottom of her purse and the other in a kind of remote controlled vault (I ordered it last week, coming from China, another 2 weeks away). Nah, still on the counter.
If you read through everything here you will note that there are several mental issues in the background of this blog. One is that because of her past there is just no real desire for sex, or anything like it. 35+ years in a marriage with this disability, I could never have imagined I would last that long in such a situation.
Last week we were offered 2 paths by our therapist. Path one is a deep mental reconditioning to try and get her “back into her body”, meaning that she would not be divorcing her brain from the sensations her body is providing to her during intimate encounters. The second option was to teach her how to navigate the mechanics of sex without being revolted by it. No enjoyment for her, just a lack of disgust. Both have advantages and disadvantages, naturally.
She and I discussed both of these options the other day, and I asked her which one she would like to try. I didn’t push for either, just worked to clear up and questions either of us had. She has opted for the first option. It’s the one I was hoping she would choose, but also the one that I disliked the most. Hypnotism, EMDR, intense one on one therapy, ect. The caveat, no sex for a year. And we were just getting pretty good at it too. A soul crusher, another year straight without being physically intimate with my wife. Don’t get me wrong, given our history this wont be the first time, we have had several times where we went more than a year without sex, but this time I would not even be allowed to ask. I could have cried, both for joy that she really wants to get her past out of the way of her enjoying sex, and of sadness for another year long stint with enforced abstinence. I need a better hobby, the 12 I have now just wont cover it. And on we go…
Eddie
I was re-reading my posts here and noted that I tend to go back and forth a bit with what she wants and what she does. 2 posts ago I said that “She is now demanding that I remain caged”, and while that is truthful it didn’t go as far as it could have. She has asked that I cage, but there is no follow-up, no verification, just a small guilt trip (honestly, small) if she notes that I am not wearing it. That’s all. When I had the time a couple of weeks ago I explained that verification and her insisting on keeping the keys (there are 2 of them for this lock) was a part of the game. I put them both on the bathroom counter a week ago, and they have not moved unless I move them. I asked her to keep one in the bottom of her purse and the other in a kind of remote controlled vault (I ordered it last week, coming from China, another 2 weeks away). Nah, still on the counter.
If you read through everything here you will note that there are several mental issues in the background of this blog. One is that because of her past there is just no real desire for sex, or anything like it. 35+ years in a marriage with this disability, I could never have imagined I would last that long in such a situation.
Last week we were offered 2 paths by our therapist. Path one is a deep mental reconditioning to try and get her “back into her body”, meaning that she would not be divorcing her brain from the sensations her body is providing to her during intimate encounters. The second option was to teach her how to navigate the mechanics of sex without being revolted by it. No enjoyment for her, just a lack of disgust. Both have advantages and disadvantages, naturally.
She and I discussed both of these options the other day, and I asked her which one she would like to try. I didn’t push for either, just worked to clear up and questions either of us had. She has opted for the first option. It’s the one I was hoping she would choose, but also the one that I disliked the most. Hypnotism, EMDR, intense one on one therapy, ect. The caveat, no sex for a year. And we were just getting pretty good at it too. A soul crusher, another year straight without being physically intimate with my wife. Don’t get me wrong, given our history this wont be the first time, we have had several times where we went more than a year without sex, but this time I would not even be allowed to ask. I could have cried, both for joy that she really wants to get her past out of the way of her enjoying sex, and of sadness for another year long stint with enforced abstinence. I need a better hobby, the 12 I have now just wont cover it. And on we go…
Eddie