Keyholder Forum

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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Afrinadian » Sun Sep 20, 2015 1:34 am

First, I have no idea where to post this, so please accept my apologies if the location of my question is inappropriate.
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I'm thankful to have found this site. My wife and I have been experimenting on and off with Chastity for several years (+-6) till a few months ago.
Last week we ordered a JB which means it's going to be a while before it arrives. Currently, we have no device.
We used to have a CB6s which she didn't really like. We had an instance when it cracked open and pinched me rather badly (I was lying down when it happened, so very little damage). I repaired it, but she was never comfortable with it after that.

I was also into BDSM before we met and after getting married, I KNOW I sprung this on her way too quickly so she got scared off. I really want chastity to work for us as it's a bit of a compromise on both our parts... not to mention the financial investment we have made for the JB.

Although my wife went along with my suggestion at getting a new device, I think she could really benefit from connecting with other KH who are like her and have more vanilla tastes. She assures me that she has no problem with locking me up and she says that she's willing to take the lead (in the bedroom).

When I probed little and asked if she'd read any material I gave her about being a KH, her reply was that she wasn't as into it as me. I'm really think there's more for her to get out of this arrangement and I feel she may be missing out.

I would love to get her plugged into a community of real people with whom she can open up to.

Suggestions and advice would be great!!!
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Locked by LRC » Sun Sep 20, 2015 3:09 pm

Just like the other problems you've encountered I would recommend you didn't push her to hard. This world of chastity can be something that's hard for some to understand initially. I think you're right in trying to attempt to educate her. As you've learned, don't press her to hard or she may retreat.

Getting her to join this forum and entering the Keyholder portion would be a good step, if she wants it. When I first joined this forum I was impressed how all of the members, male and female, were willing to give what seemed like good advice. I wanted LRC to join and she flatly refused. She was uncomfortable taking about these things, even anonymously.

It was a slow and painful journey to get where we are today. There were many times I was frustrated at the length of time it took LRC to first understand what I desired, and then for her to be comfortable with doing it. Even pleasures and expressions of devotion given to her without expected reciprocation she couldn't understand. Patience on both of our parts has led to the place we're at now. You have described this somewhat, so my advice would be to keep discussing and be patience.

What worked for LRC was explicit, erotic stories that she's always enjoyed reading. I would find realistic ones that contained things that I was interested in, and would direct her to them. This started to give her an idea of my vision of what I wanted to receive and give to her with chastity and a Keyholder. The largest hurdle is finding realistic stories. They're out there, just hard to find.

Just remember chastity is probably something you've been churning in your mind for a while and your anxious and ready to go, NOW. Remember it's foreign to her. It sounds like she's receptive to the idea of chastity with her willing to spend the household money on a quality device.

Be patience and let her dictate the pace chastity evolves in your relationship. After all, isn't this what you are really asking for in a Keyholder, for her to be in control?
Current device - MM Custom
Previous devices - CB2000, 3000, 6000, 6000s, Curve
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Afrinadian » Mon Sep 21, 2015 9:19 pm

Thanks for replying so quickly and thoroughly.

I think your advice is right on the money. It helps to hear what you think is the correct course of action but is so hard to follow through on because of the excited, and anxious state my head is in while waiting for it all to start. Hearing it from someone else clears all the static in my head as it were.

The estimated delivery date from MM in November, is going to be way too long in coming. I feel like a kid waiting for Christams morning.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby HoldingHim » Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:07 pm

I would like to be added.... Request was made! Thank you!
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Atone » Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:35 pm

HoldingHim wrote:I would like to be added.... Request was made! Thank you!

request approved :)

Have fun!
Celtic Queen wrote: Some stuff works for some people, other stuff doesn't and you just have to adapt the lifestyle to what works for you both.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Joroincharge » Sat Jun 04, 2016 6:13 am

HoldingHim wrote:I would like to be added.... Request was made! Thank you!

Hope to see you there!!
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby ela7171 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:21 pm

Hi, I was referred to this forum via teasememylove on tumblr (veganpunk). I'm a new KH with a ton of questions and perhaps a few answers to those KH's who are newer than myself. Can you please direct me to the KH Forum?
Thank you!
New Keyholder - escaping vanilla with class and humor... Sometimes.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Tom Allen » Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:26 pm

Log out and log back in - you've just been added and the KH forum should show up near the bottom of the list.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby ela7171 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:26 pm

Tom Allen wrote:Log out and log back in - you've just been added and the KH forum should show up near the bottom of the list.


Thank you and sorry to be a pest, but I'm not seeing where the Keyholder forum is located, I'm only able to find the list of KH members...? Does it have anything to do with the fact that I use a MacBook and Chrome?
New Keyholder - escaping vanilla with class and humor... Sometimes.
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Re: Keyholder Forum

Postby Tom Allen » Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:29 am

No, it means I screwed up someplace. You're all set now.
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